I am a non diagnosed male (40 yo) but I wouldn't say NT. I have a son with autism and I am sure I am on the spectrum as well. Anyway, I have generally considered myself a loner and often wondered why I was so different all through my life. This summer we had a lot of stresses with wildfires and our volunteer department was kept very busy with me being involved in it all.
Since this happened, my whole life had changed. Like the flip of a switch.
I am now desperate to connect with someone as a friend. I crave a connection. I still feel awkward in social situations and have a very hard time with small talk. The only exception to that is with my family and one good friend. The issue is that she is more of a friend to me than I am to her. She has been like a sister to me for many years, and since my only brother passed away a few months ago, her role in my life has been so much more important.
But she has her friends (one of them being my wife) that she would rather spend time with and confide in. It feels like she is just being a sympathy friend.
I feel much more comfortable communicating with women then men, but that creates some social awkwardness.
I offer to help with things that people are doing, but am never accepted. I feel so useless and alone. I feel like the picture on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel. I am reaching out to people but everyone is just out of reach. I cannot connect with anyone to the level that I need.
Has anyone experienced such a total change? What to do? I have lots of 'friends' in church and fire department, but they are all so shallow. I'm at a loss and I am desperate. I need this empty aching feeling inside to go away.
Since this happened, my whole life had changed. Like the flip of a switch.
I am now desperate to connect with someone as a friend. I crave a connection. I still feel awkward in social situations and have a very hard time with small talk. The only exception to that is with my family and one good friend. The issue is that she is more of a friend to me than I am to her. She has been like a sister to me for many years, and since my only brother passed away a few months ago, her role in my life has been so much more important.
But she has her friends (one of them being my wife) that she would rather spend time with and confide in. It feels like she is just being a sympathy friend.
I feel much more comfortable communicating with women then men, but that creates some social awkwardness.
I offer to help with things that people are doing, but am never accepted. I feel so useless and alone. I feel like the picture on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel. I am reaching out to people but everyone is just out of reach. I cannot connect with anyone to the level that I need.
Has anyone experienced such a total change? What to do? I have lots of 'friends' in church and fire department, but they are all so shallow. I'm at a loss and I am desperate. I need this empty aching feeling inside to go away.
