Beaten up by little sister. Does that mean she's stronger?

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garnett64

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I'm a 21 year old man, my 11 year old sister was trying to sneak out of the house at like 8pm. I stopped her but she was really insistent on going (our parents weren't home). I took her phone from her and told her she wasn't going anywhere before I call our parents.

She was really mad, she was in tears and was screaming at me. Then she starts punching and kicking me trying to get her phone back. One of the punches lands hard in my stomach and I get winded. The next thing I know she's dragged me to the ground and she's got her thighs wrapped around my neck squeezing really hard. I'm unable to remove her legs and can't breathe so I give her the phone back and submit.

She refuses to let go, she tells me to give me my phone. I do this, then she goes to the bathroom, throws my phone in the toilet and flushes it.

I go up to her and (I'm not proud of this) hit her. She again manages to floor me and wrap her thighs around my neck and I'm just desperately tapping on her legs indicating submission but she doesn't let go and I pass out.

My parents have grounded her and she has to pay for my new phone.

How do I regain control over her? She's an annoying little SJW who constantly wears "girl power" shirts. I'm scared than she's going to think she's stronger than me? Even though she caught me off-guard both times and it was fluky.

I'm a little insecure about my strength, but the weakest man is still stronger than 99% of women right? And definitely stronger than a child?

This is the muscle difference between us. Just to say that I'm tensing and she's not, but it doesn't matter since I still think I have the superior muscle definition untensed. Not to mention that I'm a guy too.

Her: Imgur: The magic of the Internet
Me (tensing): Imgur: The magic of the Internet
Me (tensing): Imgur: The magic of the Internet

We were measured a while ago, she had 14 inch calves and 20 inch thighs. I had 9.5 inch calves and 15 inch thighs so I'm a little insecure about that too but I'm pretty sure she's just got fatty legs.
 

Christie insb

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Maybe you should work on improving your relationship with her if you are going to have to watch her. Why did she want to go out? Eleven is a very challenging age. Their behavior seems to embody the worst of childish behavior and teen behavior. As far as being stronger, you should not be managing her with brute force. I have some experience with difficult kids so I don't want to overwhelm you but I have advice if you want it
 
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Mountainmanbob

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ouch!

you probably were trying to use the least amount of force as possible to restrain her and it didn't work out. you underestimated the kid.

next time you may have to employ a bit more of your strength.

I would be ready to employ all of my strength ASAP with this young Lady.
Chocking you until you pass out is (very dangerous).
She's out of hand -- what if she would not have stopped -- your death.
Don't even let her get you (even close) to that position again.

Making out a police report is not a bad idea
may come in handy later if she jumps bad again.
Otherwise you may actually end up in jail.

Just a fact -- police usually take the girls side.

MB
 
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ToBeLoved

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I'm a 21 year old man, my 11 year old sister was trying to sneak out of the house at like 8pm. I stopped her but she was really insistent on going (our parents weren't home). I took her phone from her and told her she wasn't going anywhere before I call our parents.

She was really mad, she was in tears and was screaming at me. Then she starts punching and kicking me trying to get her phone back. One of the punches lands hard in my stomach and I get winded. The next thing I know she's dragged me to the ground and she's got her thighs wrapped around my neck squeezing really hard. I'm unable to remove her legs and can't breathe so I give her the phone back and submit.

She refuses to let go, she tells me to give me my phone. I do this, then she goes to the bathroom, throws my phone in the toilet and flushes it.

I go up to her and (I'm not proud of this) hit her. She again manages to floor me and wrap her thighs around my neck and I'm just desperately tapping on her legs indicating submission but she doesn't let go and I pass out.

My parents have grounded her and she has to pay for my new phone.

How do I regain control over her? She's an annoying little SJW who constantly wears "girl power" shirts. I'm scared than she's going to think she's stronger than me? Even though she caught me off-guard both times and it was fluky.

I'm a little insecure about my strength, but the weakest man is still stronger than 99% of women right? And definitely stronger than a child?

This is the muscle difference between us. Just to say that I'm tensing and she's not, but it doesn't matter since I still think I have the superior muscle definition untensed. Not to mention that I'm a guy too.

Her: Imgur: The magic of the Internet
Me (tensing): Imgur: The magic of the Internet
Me (tensing): Imgur: The magic of the Internet

We were measured a while ago, she had 14 inch calves and 20 inch thighs. I had 9.5 inch calves and 15 inch thighs so I'm a little insecure about that too but I'm pretty sure she's just got fatty legs.
Your parents should be laying out ground rules of behavior for her and maybe for you too.

She is only 11 yo, so you need to speak with your parents and figure out a plan for how they will keep her in line. This seems like a situation that could go very bad at any time.

This is your sister, so your parents should discipline her. THis is not your job.

It is not only the fighting, which is disturbing,but also ruining your property. Some rebellion is understandable, but her parents should have her so she handle situations like a young adult and not doing destructive things to people and property.

Why aren't your parents discipling her?

It will only get worse as she gets interested in boys and wants more freedoms.
 
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garnett64

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ouch!

you probably were trying to use the least amount of force as possible to restrain her and it didn't work out. you underestimated the kid.

next time you may have to employ a bit more of your strength.

The first time, I probably did. But the second time, I was furious and I tried my hardest. When she was choking me, I was punching/scratching/pinching but I felt pretty helpless.

I don't know, she only weighs 70 lbs so I don't think it's possible for her to be stronger.

Maybe you should work on improving your relationship with her if you are going to have to watch her. Why did she want to go out? Eleven is a very challenging age. Their behavior seems to embody the worst of childish behavior and teen behavior. As far as being stronger, you should not be managing her with brute force. I have some experience with difficult kids so I don't want to overwhelm you but I have advice if you want it

I don't think I'm going to watch her anymore, the last thing I want is a repeat.

She wanted to go out to her friends, she didn't ask our parents.
 
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garnett64

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I would be ready to employ all of my strength ASAP with this young Lady.
Chocking you until you pass out is (very dangerous).
She's out of hand -- what if she would not have stopped -- your death.
Don't even let her get you (even close) to that position again.

Making out a police report is not a bad idea
may come in handy later if she jumps bad again.
Otherwise you may actually end up in jail.

Just a fact -- police usually take the girls side.

MB

I don't think it'll escalate to the police (I hope not) but yeah, it is very dangerous. I'm a little concerned by how little empathy she's displaying. She didn't seem concerned at all that I passed out.
 
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Daniel Marsh

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Just file a police report and press charges to protect yourself.

Talk with her parents about it too.

Next time, let her go and call the Police. After She sits in a cell for a few hours, that may change her behavior.
 
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LoricaLady

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I'm a 21 year old man, my 11 year old sister was trying to sneak out of the house at like 8pm. I stopped her but she was really insistent on going (our parents weren't home). I took her phone from her and told her she wasn't going anywhere before I call our parents.

She was really mad, she was in tears and was screaming at me. Then she starts punching and kicking me trying to get her phone back. One of the punches lands hard in my stomach and I get winded. The next thing I know she's dragged me to the ground and she's got her thighs wrapped around my neck squeezing really hard. I'm unable to remove her legs and can't breathe so I give her the phone back and submit.

She refuses to let go, she tells me to give me my phone. I do this, then she goes to the bathroom, throws my phone in the toilet and flushes it.

I go up to her and (I'm not proud of this) hit her. She again manages to floor me and wrap her thighs around my neck and I'm just desperately tapping on her legs indicating submission but she doesn't let go and I pass out.

My parents have grounded her and she has to pay for my new phone.

How do I regain control over her? She's an annoying little SJW who constantly wears "girl power" shirts. I'm scared than she's going to think she's stronger than me? Even though she caught me off-guard both times and it was fluky.

I'm a little insecure about my strength, but the weakest man is still stronger than 99% of women right? And definitely stronger than a child?

This is the muscle difference between us. Just to say that I'm tensing and she's not, but it doesn't matter since I still think I have the superior muscle definition untensed. Not to mention that I'm a guy too.

Her: Imgur: The magic of the Internet
Me (tensing): Imgur: The magic of the Internet
Me (tensing): Imgur: The magic of the Internet

We were measured a while ago, she had 14 inch calves and 20 inch thighs. I had 9.5 inch calves and 15 inch thighs so I'm a little insecure about that too but I'm pretty sure she's just got fatty legs.
You are probably "weakened" by restraint (also you were caught off guard.) I suspect you really don't want to go after her full force because she is a kid. She's a tough kid, though! Really, you should not be using all that physical force. With a kid like that, frankly, I would not put it past her to report you to the authorities. If she has any bruises or other injuries - even if you didn't cause them - you could get in a lot of trouble. Force is not the answer.

Of course the real issue is that she is apparently out of control and very hostile. You aren't going to be able to fix her. I assume you pray for her, as I will, too.

You and your parents can put limits on her finances, clothes, maybe even food choices, whatever works to get cooperation. I would see her school counselor (it's free) to get suggestions and maybe another counselor of some kind. This girl needs serious help.

To me she maybe seems scared, like she is trying to act as tough as possible to make herself feel safer. I am wondering if she has been abused and never told anyone. You might want to talk to her about that, not expecting her to just open up right away, just letting her know that if anyone hurt her you would stand by her in any kind of defense.
 
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LoricaLady

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P.S. I would be shocked if the police tried to get involved. Put an 11 year old in a cell? That is unthinkable. Also places that incarcerate children not too uncommon have some pretty shady people in them. If she got hurt in any way there - not to mention being scared to death in such a place - it sure wouldn't help her relationship with her family!
 
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garnett64

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You are probably "weakened" by restraint (also you were caught off guard.) I suspect you really don't want to go after her full force because she is a kid. She's a tough kid, though! Really, you should not be using all that physical force. With a kid like that, frankly, I would not put it past her to report you to the authorities. If she has any bruises or other injuries - even if you didn't cause them - you could get in a lot of trouble. Force is not the answer.

Of course the real issue is that she is apparently out of control and very hostile. You aren't going to be able to fix her. I assume you pray for her, as I will, too.

You and your parents can put limits on her finances, clothes, maybe even food choices, whatever works to get cooperation. I would see her school counselor (it's free) to get suggestions and maybe another counselor of some kind. This girl needs serious help.

To me she maybe seems scared, like she is trying to act as tough as possible to make herself feel safer. I am wondering if she has been abused and never told anyone. You might want to talk to her about that, not expecting her to just open up right away, just letting her know that if anyone hurt her you would stand by her in any kind of defense.

She doesn't look stronger than me, does she? Judging from the pics I mean. I know this seems really low priority but I'm feeling really insecure about my strength, the restraint thing sort of seems like an excuse.

She has some cuts on her legs from when I scratched her trying to escape. I have bruises all over my neck and eye.

And no, she hasn't been abused. She's a pretty normal kid except for this.

P.S. I would be shocked if the police tried to get involved. Put an 11 year old in a cell? That is unthinkable. Also places that incarcerate children not too uncommon have some pretty shady people in them. If she got hurt in any way there - not to mention being scared to death in such a place - it sure wouldn't help her relationship with her family!

The police will not be involved, I've spoken to my parents about child therapy and we think that might be the way to go forward.
 
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aiki

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I'm a 21 year old man, my 11 year old sister was trying to sneak out of the house at like 8pm. I stopped her but she was really insistent on going (our parents weren't home). I took her phone from her and told her she wasn't going anywhere before I call our parents.

She was really mad, she was in tears and was screaming at me. Then she starts punching and kicking me trying to get her phone back. One of the punches lands hard in my stomach and I get winded. The next thing I know she's dragged me to the ground and she's got her thighs wrapped around my neck squeezing really hard. I'm unable to remove her legs and can't breathe so I give her the phone back and submit.

Next time she tries throttling you with her legs, just root around a bit in your nose, get a nice big blob of snot out and start wiping it on her. I'll bet she won't be able to get away from you fast enough! And you won't have to hit her, or twist her arm, or anything. And you can bet the prospect of a big booger smear on her will make her think twice about attacking you again! All that seemingly pointless mucus in your hooter is good for something after all, eh? So, forget the whose-muscles-are-bigger stuff. It doesn't matter. Snot's the great equalizer!
 
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garnett64

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Next time she tries throttling you with her legs, just root around a bit in your nose, get a nice big blob of snot out and start wiping it on her. I'll bet she won't be able to get away from you fast enough! And you won't have to hit her, or twist her arm, or anything. And you can bet the prospect of a big booger smear on her will make her think twice about attacking you again! All that seemingly pointless mucus in your hooter is good for something after all, eh? So, forget the whose-muscles-are-bigger stuff. It doesn't matter. Snot's the great equalizer!

If there's one upside to all of this, getting choked really cleaned my sinuses out lol :)
 
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Christie insb

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She doesn't look stronger than me, does she? Judging from the pics I mean. I know this seems really low priority but I'm feeling really insecure about my strength, the restraint thing sort of seems like an excuse.

She has some cuts on her legs from when I scratched her trying to escape. I have bruises all over my neck and eye.

And no, she hasn't been abused. She's a pretty normal kid except for this.



The police will not be involved, I've spoken to my parents about child therapy and we think that might be the way to go forward.
You really can't know if she has been abused or not. You can't be with her 24/7.
 
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LoricaLady

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She doesn't look stronger than me, does she? Judging from the pics I mean. I know this seems really low priority but I'm feeling really insecure about my strength, the restraint thing sort of seems like an excuse.

She has some cuts on her legs from when I scratched her trying to escape. I have bruises all over my neck and eye.

And no, she hasn't been abused. She's a pretty normal kid except for this.



The police will not be involved, I've spoken to my parents about child therapy and we think that might be the way to go forward.
You seem shaken by your present strength levels. Start working out and build up your confidence

As for your sister never having been abused, now how could you know that? Have you asked her? Have you asked other people in her life if they have seen any reason to be concerned? Have you been with her every minute of every day all her life? It is extremely common for abused children to say nothing, even to be frightened into saying nothing. You don't know.

Again, to me she acts like a frightened child, way not normal, trying to be tough. She needs help for whatever the underlying issue is. There is an issue there. Her behavior is no way typical of an 11 year old.
 
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LoricaLady

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P.S. Okay maybe I am playing amature psychologist, but to me a girl who often wears "Girl power" shirts is maybe trying to convince herself that, as a girl, she is not vulnerable. Why would she feel vulnerable as a girl, in her world?

Another thing to consider is bullying at school, maybe by some mean boys. If she did report bullying at school would your parents take it seriously or not really?

Whatever might be the case, I would personally say to her, "To me you seem like you are trying to be tough to protect yourself,maybe from some kind of abuse you have gone through that you have not spoken about. If anyone has hurt you, at school or elsewhere, and you let me know, I will stand by you and stand up for you and believe you and try to help you all I can." Watch her facial expressions. And of course mean what you say. Now that would be the real strength.
 
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Christie insb

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P.S. Okay maybe I am playing amature psychologist, but to me a girl who often wears "Girl power" shirts is maybe trying to convince herself that, as a girl, she is not vulnerable. Why would she feel vulnerable as a girl, in her world?

Another thing to consider is bullying at school, maybe by some mean boys. If she did report bullying at school would your parents take it seriously or not really?

Whatever might be the case, I would personally say to her, "To me you seem like you are trying to be tough to protect yourself,maybe from some kind of abuse you have gone through that you have not spoken about. If anyone has hurt you, at school or elsewhere, and you let me know, I will stand by you and stand up for you and believe you and try to help you all I can." Watch her facial expressions. And of course mean what you say. Now that would be the real strength.
My son was going through a rough phase at school and one of the things that was recommended in Your Defiant Child ( Barkley Your Defiant Child, First Edition) was to spend time doing an activity the child chose and not giving any direction or negative feedback for half an hour a day. We started doing this, and he did report to me that his "fríend" was mistreating him. I hope she will tell you if anything is going on, but she may need professional counseling to figure out why she is so hostile.
 
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While she certainly seems to be unruly. she is clearly stronger than you are, and perhaps quicker thinking.
You are never likely to manage her the way you are going. Not that it is your business to do so anyway. For what ever reason you have not earned her respect as a brother or as a person.
That is something you should be working on, not trying to overpower her.

As for you physique... it could do with a total make over.... I am 83 and have bigger muscles than you do, and mine have melted away with age, to nothing much at all.
 
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garnett64

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My son was going through a rough phase at school and one of the things that was recommended in Your Defiant Child ( Barkley Your Defiant Child, First Edition) was to spend time doing an activity the child chose and not giving any direction or negative feedback for half an hour a day. We started doing this, and he did report to me that his "fríend" was mistreating him. I hope she will tell you if anything is going on, but she may need professional counseling to figure out why she is so hostile.

We're trying out child therapy. I really don't think it's a result of bullying/abuse, but I'll keep an eye out anyway.

While she certainly seems to be unruly. she is clearly stronger than you are, and perhaps quicker thinking.
You are never likely to manage her the way you are going. Not that it is your business to do so anyway. For what ever reason you have not earned her respect as a brother or as a person.
That is something you should be working on, not trying to overpower her.

As for you physique... it could do with a total make over.... I am 83 and have bigger muscles than you do, and mine have melted away with age, to nothing much at all.

How did you come to that conclusion? I think weaker people can still win fights, either by luck or skill; in this case luck. Also, just to mention that she is 11 years old, 70 lbs and a girl. I'm a fully grown man. If she is stronger, it's not by much. I will need to start working out though.

From what I can tell, I think I look a lot stronger than her in the pics. A) My arms are bigger than hers (I am tensing but I don't think that matters too much). B) She has no muscle definition in her legs, just fat.

No idea why you would think she's "quicker thinking", I didn't realise beating someone up is an indicator of intelligence? To be fair, she does go to academically gifted classes so I'm not saying she's dumb. But her brain is in early development mode. You seem to forget that I'm an adult male and she's a little girl. I think you've read one too many feminism books.
 
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Daniel Marsh

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P.S. I would be shocked if the police tried to get involved. Put an 11 year old in a cell? That is unthinkable. Also places that incarcerate children not too uncommon have some pretty shady people in them. If she got hurt in any way there - not to mention being scared to death in such a place - it sure wouldn't help her relationship with her family!

In the USA they have a way, where a parent can request such for a limited amount of time without telling the 11 year old the limit. I forget the legal name for this. But, is legal in all States. Its purpose is to teach a lesson about where a child is heading if they do not straighten up their act. They do not put the child in a cell with an adult, just alone where they are isolated to let their own mind run wild. I know of Children who were put in such a situation and all of them realized that is not a place they want to end up --- and after that walked the straight and narrow.
 
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