I dont know what my real personality is

Ben Collyer · Jan 3, 2018

I am trying to find my real personality but its difficult when there are so many factors

for example I sometimes feel that I am an introvert with extrovert tendencies, but I have social anxiety issues and fear of rejection which might explain the introversion.

How do I know the real me?

SeventyOne · Jan 3, 2018

Go with what feels right.

Occasionally, stick yourself out there to be rejected. After a while it might dawn on you that their rejections don't mean a thing. It's a very liberating realization.

Ben Collyer · Jan 3, 2018

its

SeventyOne said:
Go with what feels right.

Occasionally, stick yourself out there to be rejected. After a while it might dawn on you that their rejections don't mean a thing. It's a very liberating realization.

its always painful when we are rejected bruh

messianist · Jan 3, 2018

Hi Ben

when we are in Christ, it's not ever possible to have fellowship with the world,

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

SeventyOne · Jan 3, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
its

its always painful when we are rejected bruh

Well, it always used to be.

I had a very rough few first decades, had no idea why I was so different to other people, when I seemed very similar to other people in my own eyes. As a result, I was depressed, mousy, unsure, and timid most of the time.

Then I found out I was an aspy. It all made sense. I came across as different, because I am different. It's just who I am. If others don't like it, screw them. They don't define me. God designed me this way, so I'm gonna milk it for all it's worth. Now I'll just do and say stuff I would have never done before, just to see what happens.

bhsmte · Jan 3, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
I am trying to find my real personality but its difficult when there are so many factors

for example I sometimes feel that I am an introvert with extrovert tendencies, but I have social anxiety issues and fear of rejection which might explain the introversion.

How do I know the real me?

There are many different profile tests you can take, to determine your most prominent personality type and those that are less prominent.

Some tests are better than others, but the reality is, we are all somewhat of a mixed bag, with certain traits being more dominant, than others.

Ben Collyer · Jan 3, 2018

SeventyOne said:
Well, it always used to be.

I had a very rough few first decades, had no idea why I was so different to other people, when I seemed very similar to other people in my own eyes. As a result, I was depressed, mousy, unsure, and timid most of the time.

Then I found out I was an aspy. It all made sense. I came across as different, because I am different. It's just who I am. If others don't like it, screw them. They don't define me. God designed me this way, so I'm gonna milk it for all it's worth. Now I'll just do and say stuff I would have never done before, just to see what happens.

do you think the challenge of overcoming the stronghold of rejection is harder for aspies than for others? and IF your answer is yes, why would God ordain us to have this struggle?

Catherineanne · Jan 3, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
I am trying to find my real personality but its difficult when there are so many factors

for example I sometimes feel that I am an introvert with extrovert tendencies, but I have social anxiety issues and fear of rejection which might explain the introversion.

How do I know the real me?

Do you have a good friend; someone you really trust? If you are not sure who you are, ask that friend. Chances are they will know whether you are honest, loyal, kind, generous, etc, even if you don't.

As for the rest, there is no such thing as 'an introvert' or 'an extrovert.' Labels like this are rarely helpful, to be honest.

We all fall somewhere along a spectrum from extreme introversion to extreme extroversion and these can change from one day to another depending on a whole range of different factors. We might like being in a crowd one day, but need to be alone the next; that is all perfectly normal.

Social anxiety is a really horrible thing to have to deal with; you have my sympathy on that one because I struggle with it myself. People can be very unkind, sometimes.

Catherineanne · Jan 3, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
do you think the challenge of overcoming the stronghold of rejection is harder for aspies than for others? and IF your answer is yes, why would God ordain us to have this struggle?

There is no point asking 'why?' The only answer will be 'why not?'

S.O.J.I.A. · Jan 3, 2018

you're an introvert.

introverts are NOT people who are socially awkward but rather are those who socially interact at a difference capacity than extroverts. one thrives in crowds and one thrives in one-on-one. one recharges while around people and the other recharges in solitude. neither struggle with social interaction or with connecting with people, they just engage at different levels.

don't bite off more than you can chew. try to connect with people individually.

Ben Collyer · Jan 3, 2018

Catherineanne said:
There is no point asking 'why?' The only answer will be 'why not?'

not good enough!

Catherineanne · Jan 3, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
not good enough!

Are you sure?

This is what we have. There are millions throughout the world without homes, struggling to survive. Why them? There are thousands homeless. Why them? There are billions in poverty. Why them? There are 5,000 children dying every day from drinking contaminated water. Why them?

Why not me? Why not you? Why them?

Ben Collyer · Jan 3, 2018

Catherineanne said:
Are you sure?

This is what we have. There are millions throughout the world without homes, struggling to survive. Why them? There are thousands homeless. Why them? There are billions in poverty. Why them? There are 5,000 children dying every day from drinking contaminated water. Why them?

Why not me? Why not you? Why them?

i want to know the answer from my aspie friend

CoolDude68 · Jan 3, 2018

I'm an introvert as well. I get it. It use to envy those who seem to be the popular type that seem comfortable around others and seem to thrive in life in many areas. But remember, God has a plan for each of us and we're all individual and need to discover our own gig. I am learning to just be myself and not try to impress others. If people accept me fine, if they don't then I don't dwell on it any more. True friends will accept you no matter what. If they don't, then associate with different company. When you stop worrying about everyone else and get into a relationship with God those things won't matter as much. It doesn't come overnight and it's a constant struggle sometimes for me but the closer I get with God, the more I understand all that matters is Him and once I reach the new kingdom one day it will all be good! Focus on the big picture my friend.

Catherineanne · Jan 4, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
i want to know the answer from my aspie friend

Fair enough.

/Unsubscribing.

SeventyOne · Jan 5, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
do you think the challenge of overcoming the stronghold of rejection is harder for aspies than for others? and IF your answer is yes, why would God ordain us to have this struggle?

That's a good question. I can't say for sure what goes through the mind of a non-aspy. My wife is not like me, and she takes rejection very personally. I've tried to comfort her at times when that happens, but she's one of those who at least derives some of her self-validation from the acceptance of others. I don't think it's harder for us, I just think it might occur more frequently to us because we do act differently than the typical societal norm.

That said, the severity of the pain that comes from such rejections is directly related to how much we rely on the opinion of others as it pertains to our own self worth. When we quit giving other people that power over us, the pain reduces dramatically.

Ben Collyer · Jan 5, 2018

SeventyOne said:
That's a good question. I can't say for sure what goes through the mind of a non-aspy. My wife is not like me, and she takes rejection very personally. I've tried to comfort her at times when that happens, but she's one of those who at least derives some of her self-validation from the acceptance of others. I don't think it's harder for us, I just think it might occur more frequently to us because we do act differently than the typical societal norm.

That said, the severity of the pain that comes from such rejections is directly related to how much we rely on the opinion of others as it pertains to our own self worth. When we quit giving other people that power over us, the pain reduces dramatically.

how would one start to stop depending on others for worth? it seems impossible

SeventyOne · Jan 5, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
how would one start to stop depending on others for worth? it seems impossible

I think a lot of it, for me at least, was the recognition of the temporary.

Schoolmates come and go.
Workmates come and go.
For the most part, some friends, acquaintances, remote family come and eventually go.
People in public, such as restaurants and stores, they come and quickly go.

If we click together or if we don't, it's all temporary, and in the end, meaningless.

But those who stay and choose to be around me, such as close family and friends, they've already accepted me and all my faults. That's who I should satisfy myself with, and if I know the people who matter in my life have accepted me, all the temporary stuff can never take root. And even should all that fail, I know God understands and has accepted me.

Maybe for starters, it's not stopping depending on others altogether, but concentrate only on a select few and let everything else fall by the wayside. Nurture what's already growing and ask God for wisdom in these matters.

Gottservant · Jan 9, 2018

Ben Collyer said:
I am trying to find my real personality but its difficult when there are so many factors

for example I sometimes feel that I am an introvert with extrovert tendencies, but I have social anxiety issues and fear of rejection which might explain the introversion.

How do I know the real me?

Personality is split into two groups, good identity and evil identity - then works are as well: good works and evil works.

"Justice" - one of the spiritual witnesses of God, is the one who gives us our identities in the faith (good or evil); while God and Jesus, for the sake of the faith: help us with determining our works, for Justice's sake.

So, Mr Collyer, if the Holy Spirit in me is right: you are "the True Thought" (good) and "The Twisted Reflex" (evil) - capable of uniting the faith around patience (good) or distracting those in Hell with poor timing (evil).

I'm not really going to back up what I have said, examining your life history or providing specific scriptures - I am just going to trust that if the Holy Spirit was right in me, I have said enough.

(I will check back to see your comments)

I dont know what my real personality is

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