I've been around since 2007ish...but my participation fluctuates. When I first came on I enjoyed the dialogue a lot more, because (at least my perception was) the breadth of advice was greater. You couldn't be crass, of course, but there also wasn't a lot of censorship of opinions. Back then, if it warranted it (IMHO), I'd freely tell people their relationship sounded like a disaster and they needed to get while the getting was good.
Over time that changed. Nowadays you could have someone that told you that they had been beaten up every single day of their 20 year marriage, and if you mentioned the D word you'd be facing discipline. That really does throw a monkey wrench into the idea of giving an authentic bit of advice to real situations people present.
yeah, i can relate to this. Censorship overboard is a real buzz kill when it comes to ANY kind of dialogue.
though in the specific instance of divorce, it is tricky because this is a Christian forum, so those of us who are Christians do believe divorce is against God will and not only that going against God will is bad for all parties involves long term.
in the specific example you mentioned ( i have not came across that one myself, but then again, i have stopped coming to CF for a long time, now i am back i am rarely here) yes, i totally see what you mean.
i would probably give the same advice as well
Then another time I felt sorry for someone posting their issues. They had a bad situation going on, and someone else here was giving them (what I believed to be) bad advice that mirrored the same cookie cutter bad advice they gave everyone else. Since I felt sorry for the poster, I called that out and told them "This is what you can expect from this person, because they believe A, B, C and D. So before you take their advice to heart, realize they aren't really advising you on your unique situation, but rather just fitting your situation to their desired outcome." That got me into a bit of trouble, too.
tell me about it! I have seen this OVER and OVER again, who who does not listen nor do they think it is important to listen to others, just cut and paste generic advice, and Viola, problem solved!
it is like going to a family doctor, the moment you are about to tell him the specific symptoms you are experiencing, he just put up his hand and go "no need, i am the expert here. here is mine diagnosis and prescription, the very same one i give to everyone who come through mine door!"
i means, how can you trust that kind of advice?
i don't know the exact context, but when you pointed that out, it should not get you into trouble at all!
I've been around since 2007ish...but my participation fluctuates. When I first came on I enjoyed the dialogue a lot more, because (at least my perception was) the breadth of advice was greater. You couldn't be crass, of course, but there also wasn't a lot of censorship of opinions. Back then, if it warranted it (IMHO), I'd freely tell people their relationship sounded like a disaster and they needed to get while the getting was good.
Over time that changed. Nowadays you could have someone that told you that they had been beaten up every single day of their 20 year marriage, and if you mentioned the D word you'd be facing discipline. That really does throw a monkey wrench into the idea of giving an authentic bit of advice to real situations people present.
Then another time I felt sorry for someone posting their issues. They had a bad situation going on, and someone else here was giving them (what I believed to be) bad advice that mirrored the same cookie cutter bad advice they gave everyone else. Since I felt sorry for the poster, I called that out and told them "This is what you can expect from this person, because they believe A, B, C and D. So before you take their advice to heart, realize they aren't really advising you on your unique situation, but rather just fitting your situation to their desired outcome." That got me into a bit of trouble, too.
So, ever since, I've been just kinda "meh" about the whole thing. I had them change my religious affiliation so I could participate in the political forums - but that's a pretty wild place with a ton of Alex Jones posts on it - so think my participation there will be limited too.
yes, i have not visited there for a long time, it is literally like THE WILD WILD WEST out there!
in all fairness though, people don't go there to have a discussion, they go there ready for a gun fight (mine perception anyway, i could be wrong). and it applies to both sides.
it is like they have this mentality, either you go down , or I go down, and it ain't going to be me!
it is pretty much zero sum game there.