Any Advice Would Be Helpful

Kelley1 · Nov 26, 2017

Hi, I am new here. My son actually recommended this site. I am having a lot of difficulty understanding some problems that my son is going through involving his faith. My son was baptized a year ago in July. We have been actively attending church for the last 3 months. He has been extremely passionate about learning all he can about Jesus and the Bible. Our lives has changed for the better, we are listening to only christian music, watching christian movies, reading christian books and he even stopped playing violent video games. (his choice, good) All of these changes are insisted upon by my son, which I was happy with. Now in the last month he has been having doubts about his faith. Such as: Am I really saved? Can I be unsaved? Am I wandering astray? Have I submitted to Jesus as Lord and Savior? Do I really believe in Jesus? (The Resurrection of Jesus) Is this Gluttony? Is this a sin? Having Horrible thoughts. He started reading the Bible 24/7 and not eating the way a normal kid would eat to me almost starving himself. (not what he thinks) He talks about these issues with me and I try to understand his doubts and feelings. We always end up arguing and we get very upset with each other. I get upset because I can't understand what he is going through. The final straw for me was when he wasn't eating right, feeling like he could not eat his Halloween candy which we still have, and he did not get that much this year. I told him that he was obsessing over things he should not obsess over. We got in a huge argument both crying, both yelling, and in the end at that time I did not know if the Bible was good for him and if church was good for him. I suggested he take a break from reading the bible 24/7. Currently he is reading his Bible occasionally because I could not, in good conscience take it away. He is eating normally again. Which is a blessing. I understand that everyone has doubts and they must work it out with God. What is the best way to guide my son? Do I refer him to him a Pastor at our church, because I don't always know what to say. I feel helpless and do not know how to help him. He is struggling on a daily basis and it is hard for me to see him like this.
My son and I are posting this together and he has some things he would like to say.

Hi, yes I have been having all of the issues listed above and I would like to explain my "side"(I don't want you to think like this is a big fight)
I was reading the Bible a lot for a while which I think is good. After I did my homework and everything I HAD to do. I would have breakfast in the morning and sometimes I would think I would eat to much. I would then eat very little for lunch at school. (a piece of pizza) That night I would have little to no food at all. During the "final straw" my mom said I should stop preaching at school because it is against the rules at school. I am confused because the Bible says to make disciples of all nations, baptizing in the name of the Father, The Son, (Jesus) and The Holy Ghost. My mom says that I can do these things when I am older. Lately I have been reading my Bible less and less and I feel like I am wandering astray from where I was. I had a habit of reading my Bible a lot, but now I don't want to read it as much. When we talk I do not like to get angry or yell so sometimes I don't talk. On my account on this site (LTank7) I have talked to a chaplain before and they said I might have OCD because I am having HORRIBLE THOUGHTS. I do not want to repeat them but if you need me to I will. I want to get better in my walk with Christ and I want to have intimacy with my Father. Hope you can help!

God Bless!

faroukfarouk · Nov 26, 2017

Kelley1 said:
Hi, I am new here. My son actually recommended this site. I am having a lot of difficulty understanding some problems that my son is going through involving his faith. My son was baptized a year ago in July. We have been actively attending church for the last 3 months. He has been extremely passionate about learning all he can about Jesus and the Bible. Our lives has changed for the better, we are listening to only christian music, watching christian movies, reading christian books and he even stopped playing violent video games. (his choice, good) All of these changes are insisted upon by my son, which I was happy with. Now in the last month he has been having doubts about his faith. Such as: Am I really saved? Can I be unsaved? Am I wandering astray? Have I submitted to Jesus as Lord and Savior? Do I really believe in Jesus? (The Resurrection of Jesus) Is this Gluttony? Is this a sin? Having Horrible thoughts. He started reading the Bible 24/7 and not eating the way a normal kid would eat to me almost starving himself. (not what he thinks) He talks about these issues with me and I try to understand his doubts and feelings. We always end up arguing and we get very upset with each other. I get upset because I can't understand what he is going through. The final straw for me was when he wasn't eating right, feeling like he could not eat his Halloween candy which we still have, and he did not get that much this year. I told him that he was obsessing over things he should not obsess over. We got in a huge argument both crying, both yelling, and in the end at that time I did not know if the Bible was good for him and if church was good for him. I suggested he take a break from reading the bible 24/7. Currently he is reading his Bible occasionally because I could not, in good conscience take it away. He is eating normally again. Which is a blessing. I understand that everyone has doubts and they must work it out with God. What is the best way to guide my son? Do I refer him to him a Pastor at our church, because I don't always know what to say. I feel helpless and do not know how to help him. He is struggling on a daily basis and it is hard for me to see him like this.
My son and I are posting this together and he has some things he would like to say.

Hi, yes I have been having all of the issues listed above and I would like to explain my "side"(I don't want you to think like this is a big fight)
I was reading the Bible a lot for a while which I think is good. After I did my homework and everything I HAD to do. I would have breakfast in the morning and sometimes I would think I would eat to much. I would then eat very little for lunch at school. (a piece of pizza) That night I would have little to no food at all. During the "final straw" my mom said I should stop preaching at school because it is against the rules at school. I am confused because the Bible says to make disciples of all nations, baptizing in the name of the Father, The Son, (Jesus) and The Holy Ghost. My mom says that I can do these things when I am older. Lately I have been reading my Bible less and less and I feel like I am wandering astray from where I was. I had a habit of reading my Bible a lot, but now I don't want to read it as much. When we talk I do not like to get angry or yell so sometimes I don't talk. On my account on this site (LTank7) I have talked to a chaplain before and they said I might have OCD because I am having HORRIBLE THOUGHTS. I do not want to repeat them but if you need me to I will. I want to get better in my walk with Christ and I want to have intimacy with my Father. Hope you can help!

God Bless!

Hi; John's First Epistle has some really stirring and clarifying verses about assurance of salvation through faith in God's Son; especially in chapter 5.

It's good to know of your son's spiritual interest; for those of his stage of life, the fast cars, the earrings and tattoos are optional, but an interest in God's Word is essential and such a blessing.

Dave G. · Nov 26, 2017

Kelly, even I have doubts at times and I'm a long time believer. You can say I'm crazy but I honestly believe we are living in a time of increased demonic activity, not like the last few decades but Satan is out with more force than ever casting doubts towards anyone who just blinks wrong about the bible or especially Jesus and their salvation. Look at it from the aspect of an attack. There is definitely something going on in the world because we get one post after another of people having all sorts of issues here in the forum about every day. You aren't alone. If I told you some of the things that have happened around my house you probably wouldn't listen to me. But I think the stronger someone comes out for Jesus and the bible , the harder they are hit in this time. It's always been like that but my point is it's on the increase, IMO. And your son being a new believer on fire for Jesus, how so much Satan would like to derail him. That's my take on what you are saying. You can listen or toss it out but at least consider it first.

Dave-W · Nov 26, 2017

What you describe is faith without a proper foundation. I would suggest a book by dr Derek Prince called "Foundation for Christian Living." It is long, but you and he can go thru it together. You will both be more stable afterward.

Oldmantook · Nov 26, 2017

My 2 cents. The Christian life is not a sprint; instead it's a marathon. It is perfectly normal to have energy and exhilaration at the start of any race but the most important thing is to finish the race as one is sure to encounter hardships and trials at any point in the race. One may even have doubts that he/she can finish the race as you may be experiencing now. I have, and that is very normal. The Apostle Paul in looking back at his life wrote: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. From now on the crown of righteousness is laid up for me, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me in that day; but not only to me, but also to all those loving His appearing (2 Tim 4:7-8). Salvation is given to those who overcome and persevere keeping in mind that the Bible states that Satan is our accuser who revels in hurling accusations at us in order for us to be burdened down by guilty feelings. Christian mentor(s), someone who is mature in the faith to guide/support you is invaluable as that is how disciples are made. Scripture teaches that the Christian walk is a spiritual battle and we have a mutual responsibility to edify and strengthen one another.

paul1149 · Nov 26, 2017

There's a lot of this reported on this site. It happens especially with new believers. Their spirit is awakened, and they have a lot of zeal, and then the doubts come in. What before wouldn't have been a big deal now is a very big deal, because our spirits now want to serve Christ with all we are. The final kicker is when we come across the warning verses in the Bible, and we begin to doubt our salvation and we fall into a downward fear spiral.

Jesus did not save you to abandon you. When the Lord cut the covenant with Abraham, He walked alone through the animal parts, signifying that the covenant was based on His faithfulness alone, whereas normally both parties would walk through together. We are not equal partners in this with the Lord. It is all His idea.

Our covenant is also one of promise, not works. Our job is to let the Lord work in and through us, not to perform for Him.

Check out the wisdom of God in James ch. 3. You will see that it is closely tied with peace. And 1 Peter tells us to "seek peace, and pursue it." We need to learn to be quiet before the Lord and let His Spirit teach us. It's the only way to persevere over time, rather than burning hot for a season, and then burning out the next.

Remember the wonderful invitation we have been given:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matt 11:28-30

Take your time. Many times the best witness is to allow the Lord to change us internally, and then others will see the change and be interested in what may have caused it.

hedrick · Nov 26, 2017

Have you read anything about Church history? Your son’s problem sounds like Martin Luther’s. He could never be sure he had repented enough. He drove his mentor crazy.

The solution for him was to understand that salvation was God’s work, not ours. Yeah, we can push God away, but God is pretty determined.

It sounds like he’s trying too hard, and it’s ending up causing his faith to focus on his own spiritual status, rather than on Jesus. It’s certainly true that we should avoid sin, but our faith is in Jesus, not in our lack of sin. In fact if you read Jesus’ various teachings about judgement, he people he warned were those who either rejected him or who treated others badly. He didn’t reject people who were too sinful. When Luther got into this state, he told himself “I’ve been baptized,” which for him means God has claimed him and Christ died for him.

A number of people advise looking at your life and asking what God might want you to do? It doesn’t have to involve dropping everything and becoming a foreign missionary. For most people it involves helping those around you. And of course regular prayer, worship and Bible reading. But the Christian life is a long-term thing, not something you’re expected to perfect immediately. So better talk with you and maybe his pastor and set one or two goals to start with. But the point is to set positive goals you can work for, understanding that achieving them doesn’t make you Christian. Christ already died for you.

As far the pastor, ideally that would be a place to start. But you have to assess the Church. There are lots of legalistic churches, that will give him advice that will send him right back into this spiral.

OCD presents a particular problem. If he’s actually been diagnosed, he should get treatment, and he should work with a Christian who understands what OCD is and its spiritual dangers. OCD makes him particularly vulnerable to trying to earn God’s love, and being afraid of losing it.

On preaching: there are certainly times when preaching is helpful. But most new Christians come because they saw something attractive in their Christian friends’ lives. A new Christian, particularly one whose own faith isn’t stable yet, should probably avoid preaching, and concentrate on living in a way that will show God’s love. If he hasn't figured out how to trust God himself, he's like to give others the wrong impression.

Liza B. · Nov 26, 2017

Kelley1 said:
Hi, I am new here. My son actually recommended this site. I am having a lot of difficulty understanding some problems that my son is going through involving his faith. My son was baptized a year ago in July. We have been actively attending church for the last 3 months. He has been extremely passionate about learning all he can about Jesus and the Bible. Our lives has changed for the better, we are listening to only christian music, watching christian movies, reading christian books and he even stopped playing violent video games. (his choice, good) All of these changes are insisted upon by my son, which I was happy with. Now in the last month he has been having doubts about his faith. Such as: Am I really saved? Can I be unsaved? Am I wandering astray? Have I submitted to Jesus as Lord and Savior? Do I really believe in Jesus? (The Resurrection of Jesus) Is this Gluttony? Is this a sin? Having Horrible thoughts. He started reading the Bible 24/7 and not eating the way a normal kid would eat to me almost starving himself. (not what he thinks) He talks about these issues with me and I try to understand his doubts and feelings. We always end up arguing and we get very upset with each other. I get upset because I can't understand what he is going through. The final straw for me was when he wasn't eating right, feeling like he could not eat his Halloween candy which we still have, and he did not get that much this year. I told him that he was obsessing over things he should not obsess over. We got in a huge argument both crying, both yelling, and in the end at that time I did not know if the Bible was good for him and if church was good for him. I suggested he take a break from reading the bible 24/7. Currently he is reading his Bible occasionally because I could not, in good conscience take it away. He is eating normally again. Which is a blessing. I understand that everyone has doubts and they must work it out with God. What is the best way to guide my son? Do I refer him to him a Pastor at our church, because I don't always know what to say. I feel helpless and do not know how to help him. He is struggling on a daily basis and it is hard for me to see him like this.
My son and I are posting this together and he has some things he would like to say.

Hi, yes I have been having all of the issues listed above and I would like to explain my "side"(I don't want you to think like this is a big fight)
I was reading the Bible a lot for a while which I think is good. After I did my homework and everything I HAD to do. I would have breakfast in the morning and sometimes I would think I would eat to much. I would then eat very little for lunch at school. (a piece of pizza) That night I would have little to no food at all. During the "final straw" my mom said I should stop preaching at school because it is against the rules at school. I am confused because the Bible says to make disciples of all nations, baptizing in the name of the Father, The Son, (Jesus) and The Holy Ghost. My mom says that I can do these things when I am older. Lately I have been reading my Bible less and less and I feel like I am wandering astray from where I was. I had a habit of reading my Bible a lot, but now I don't want to read it as much. When we talk I do not like to get angry or yell so sometimes I don't talk. On my account on this site (LTank7) I have talked to a chaplain before and they said I might have OCD because I am having HORRIBLE THOUGHTS. I do not want to repeat them but if you need me to I will. I want to get better in my walk with Christ and I want to have intimacy with my Father. Hope you can help!

God Bless!

Hi there, mom and son.

As others have said, this is not uncommon when a new Christian, so take heart in that. However, I am most concerned about the potential for recurrent thoughts but MOST concerned about the eating. If you are a teen boy or young man, you need to fuel your body adequately. If you don't, your thoughts will get more and more obsessive--this is actually a physical ramification of starving yourself.

Jesus did not come to make us slaves. He came to set us free. You are free to fuel your body with good, healthy food so you are a fit disciple and servant for Him. That means you can have a piece of candy and not worry about it, did you know that? You just need to be free of the candy...free to eat it or not eat it. If you must eat it, you're a slave to it. If you must NOT, you're also rather a slave, aren't you? But if you're FREE to eat it, you're just another Christian joyfully enjoying all the good things God has given.

I encourage you to meditate on all the ways Jesus set sinners free of the restraints of His time because of his overpowering, loving mercy and grace. For example, the woman with the issue of blood; the woman caught in adultery, etc. Make no mistake, the law is good. But the law does not have the last word, and I would not for a second encourage you to make yourself a slave to the laws you seem to be imposing in your head.

One of my favorite verses: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it TO THE FULL."--John 10:10

May God bless and comfort you!

Kelley1 · Dec 1, 2017

Thank you for this information! It was really helpful and my Son and I are doing better!

JAM2b · Dec 14, 2017

I just want to say that I think it is great the two of you have been so cooperative in working through this together. It is very encouraging and refreshing!

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Any Advice Would Be Helpful

Kelley1

New Member

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faroukfarouk

Fading curmudgeon

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Dave G.

Well-Known Member

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Dave-W

Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner!

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Oldmantook

Well-Known Member

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paul1149

that your faith might rest in the power of God

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hedrick

Senior Veteran

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Liza B.

His grace is sufficient

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Kelley1

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JAM2b

Newbie

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