Hi Zack, I too struggled greatly and seemingly endlessly with a horrible thought-life when I first became a Christian over 30 years ago, but I do no longer, PTL
What changed my life was getting all the ugly gunk out of my head (that was a carryover from my years of living sinfully in the world) and filling it with something far, far better (I am principally talking about God's word, of course). This can be done in at least a couple of different ways, but for me and many, many others, it was the systematic/topical memorization of Scripture that ended up being the key. God's word begins to replace all the gunk up there and it seems to leave no room for it to return (this is what I was told would happen by the guy who convinced me to try Scripture memorization to solve this problem and he was right).
I won't kid you, it's hard work, but the spiritual benefits that you will reap from it will far outweigh any effort you put into it, I promise you. If you pray and this sounds like something you'd like to do, PM me as I'd be happy to help you get started.
*(BTW, I've never memorized entire books or the NT itself, but only a small number, about 100 verses and passages all told, and that, typically at 2 verses per week)
In the meantime, we are told to "
take captive" all of our horrible, sinful thoughts, again and again and again as necessary, and give them over to Christ to deal with so that they don't become sin ..
2 Corinthians 10:5. I know this is hard, especially when the enemy keeps shooting his
flaming arrows at you salvo-style ..
Ephesians 6:10-17 (see v16 in particular), but the Bible also gives us these instructions concerning him ..
James 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8, so keep up the good fight and do not lose hope in the moment or in the long-run ..
Isaiah 40:31, Isaiah 41:10 (and always remember Who it is that you serve, your loving
Abba, Father, who gave you His one and only Son to save you and to see you through this life to Glory as well
..
Philippians 1:6, 2:13, Hebrews 7:25).
Also, always remember where this ugliness is coming from and who's actually behind it (and
don't listen when thoughts come into your mind like, "real Christians would never do or think something like that", because such thoughts do not come from God).
And don't think that the Lord is unaware of your struggle or that He has never seen such sinful thoughts or actions before, rather, remember that your thoughts are nothing knew, and trust that God has already provided you with a way out from under them and look for that way ..
1 Corinthians 10:13.
**(And never forget that when we do sin, He is always waiting for us to come to Him seeking forgiveness so that He might forgive us of and restore us to full fellowship with Him ..
1 John 1:9, even when we have to do so over and over again ..
Matthew 18:21-22)
So pray, be in the word morning and night ..
Joshua 1:8; 2 Timothy 3:16-17, be in fellowship with your brothers and sisters in Christ as often as possible ..
Proverbs 27:17, and help others get to know Him and the faith ..
Isaiah 43:10.
If you have not done so already, take these concerns to your elders and your pastor immediately as they/he has been given the job of watching over your soul by God, particularly your pastor, as your underservent in Christ ..
Hebrews 13:17.
Oh, and you might also listen to daily broadcasts like these (see below) to help you grow in the knowledge and understanding of God, and to help you begin to dwell more regularly on better things ..
Philippians 4:8.
Praying for you!
In Christ,
David
p.s. - memorizing Scripture allows the HS to work more powerfully within you, and it makes sinning an especially hard thing to do, because once you've memorized an number of key verses, the HS will bring the pertinent verses to mind every time you start to think about sinning about why you shouldn't do so
*(just fyi, I have been badly injured recently, so please be patient if you do not see a reply from me quickly as I can barely sit and type right now .. this is the most I have typed in a week, and it took my several sittings to get it done sadly)
"How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it
according to Thy word. Thy word I have treasured
in my heart that I may not sin against Thee"
Psalm 119:9,11