10 Women Christian Men Should Not Marry

keith99

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Just to play a bit with language: At "feminist" part, if I change the word "woman" to a "dog", and "husband" to a "human" while everything else stays intact (I cut out repetitive parts to make it shorter) could you guess that he is originally talking about a woman by what he actually says?

......Any dog who tries to usurp humans authority or even claims to be a co-leader with human is gravely dishonoring the God who created it to be subject and obedient to human ...... Dog was distinctly created “for” human, ...... Humans, your dog is to be your “helper” –not your leader and certainly not your equal in terms of authority.


I personally find woman who is a bit of feminist to be usually person with sense of justice and healthy self-respect. Only if "feminist" means man-hater, it becomes negative term.

This raises so many good and also funny thoughts for me. The puppies never questioned that their people were the pack leaders. Well save that they considered it their right and duty to defend their people.

We both also trusted their judgement and it never led us wrong. Anyone they distrusted turned out to be worthy of that distrust.

I also sometimes wonder. Wheatley, our first dog, had led a hard life before us, but was still a sweet dog. So at times I wonder, is it not possible that to whatever degree God had a hand in our meeting it was for his good far more than mine? (Not that I was ill served if that was the case, far from it).
 
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naveed

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1. The Unbeliever.
Scripture is replete with exhortations against such marriages (in both the Old and New Testaments). Contrary to popular misconception, God’s prohibition against marriages to foreign women in the Old Testament was not due to racism. Instead, God was simply preventing the spread of idolatry. Israel, God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, represented what Christians would later represent in the New Testament. Hence, God’s prohibition against marrying an unbelieving woman in the New Testament (2 Cor 6:14) is simply the extension of God prohibiting a Hebrew man from from marrying a Canaanite woman in the Old Testament (Deut 7:3-4). “Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you” (Deut 7:3-4).

2. The Divorcee.
Jesus clearly taught that unless the first marriage ended due to a partner’s sexual infidelity, a second marriage is to be considered invalid and adulterous. A divorced woman, therefore, is off limits for a Christian man–unrepentant adultery being a sin that prevents one from obtaining eternal life (1 Cor 6:9). “If she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mark 10:12). “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9).

3. The Older Woman.
Not a sin, but certainly not God’s ideal. God expects men to be the spiritual leaders of the home (Eph 5:25) and it certainly requires an extra measure of grace to lead a woman who’s older than you. Again, if you’re a man and you’re already in such a marriage, then honor it till the day you die–it’s still a valid marriage and divorce is not an option! However, if you’re not yet married but thinking about an older woman I want to remind you that God intentionally (with good reason!) created Adam before Eve in the First Marriage. Scripture informs us that God created man first chronologically for the sake of authority! Listen: “I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve” (1 Timothy 2:12-13).

Apparently, even secular researchers are now beginning to discover results that back up biblical claims: “If you’re a woman two or more years older than your husband, your marriage is 53 percent more likely to end in divorce than if he was one year younger to three years older.” (Source: Rebecca Kippen, Bruce Chapman and Peng Yu, “What’s Love Got to Do With It? Homogamy and Dyadic Approaches to Understanding Marital Instability,” Melbourne Institute of Applied Economic and Social Research, 2009.)

4. The Feminist.
There’s no room within Christendom for the “Christian feminist.” Though women and men have equal value in the eyes of God (Gal 3:28), they certainly have different God-given roles. Any woman who tries to usurp her husband’s authority or even claims to be a co-leader with her man is gravely dishonoring the God who created her to be subject and obedient to her husband (Eph 5:22, Col 3:18, 1 Pet 3:1). Eve was distinctly created “for” man, a point that the apostle Paul makes abundantly clear in 1 Corinthians 11 when he writes, “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” (1 Corinthians 11:8-9). Men, your wife is to be your “helper” (Gen 2:18)–not your leader and certainly not your equal in terms of authority. Look for a woman who agrees with you in this very vital God-ordained relational dynamic.

5. The Sexy-Dresser.
Sexy might inadvertently catch your eyeballs, but it shouldn’t catch your heart. The way that a woman is willing to expose herself says much about her heart: “And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart” (Proverbs 7:10). The text in Proverbs explains that a woman will dress in a certain way to catch a certain type of man. Don’t be that man. Don’t be the fool who’s led by his hormones instead of the Holy Spirit. Remember: you want godly, not gaudy.

6. The Loud-Mouth.
Women may love to talk, but there’s wisdom in looking for a woman who speaks with wisdom. Gossip and slander are not good things to have in your marriage. Desperate housewives make for desperate husbands. “Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.” (1 Timothy 5:13).

7. The Child-Hater.
Do not marry a woman who is not willing to have children. In the Christian worldview, there is absolutely no room for two married, biologically capable, human beings to remain intentionally child-less. If you are adverse towards having children, then there’s a simple remedy for that: single-hood. However, if God has called you to marriage, then He actually expects children. Both the New and Old Testaments are very clear on this teaching: “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring” (Malachi 2:15). “Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control” (1 Timothy 2:15).

8. The Wander-Luster.
There’s nothing wrong with the occasional family vacation. There is something very wrong with a girl who regularly needs to be “out of the home.” The constant desire for new experiences, new places, new faces, and new forms of entertainment only serves to clearly manifest the fact that the woman has not found her rest in God. Believe it or not, Scripture speaks repeatedly about such women: “She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home” (Proverbs 7:11); “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to” (1 Timothy 5:13).

9. The Career Woman.
Now, I want to clarify something here. There is nothing wrong with a woman who works (Acts 16:14), what’s wrong is a woman who puts her career ahead of her family. Modern American society might hate to hear this, but God made men to be the providers and women to be the nurturers of the home (in most instances). It’s okay for a woman to be a doctor, attorney, or any other professional. However, if her career is coming at the expense of her home, then something is wrong. If day-care is raising her young children while she’s working, then something is wrong. I understand that there might be a season of life where the wife might have to be the main bread-winner due to her husband’s unemployment, but it should not be the desired norm. The woman ought to be willing (and even desirous–to some extent) to give up her job for the sake of raising her kids in the Lord. “So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander” (1 Tim 5:14).

10. The Devotion-less Woman.
Is the woman having a regular, daily devotional time with her God? If she doesn’t love the Lord now, chances are, she won’t love the Lord after marriage. (Don’t delude yourself–you’re not going to change her.) You want to marry a girl who has an intimate relationship with Jesus. Jesus (not you) has to be the first man in her life. Here are some good questions to ask: Does she have an active prayer life? Does she have a heart for evangelism? Is she hungry for God’s Word? What does her pastor think about her?


Do you remember this account from Scripture:

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. [39] And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. [40] But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” [41] But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, [42] but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42 ESV)


Marry the Mary (no pun intended). Such women have picked “…the good portion, which will not be taken away” from them. God be with you men. Strong families start with strong wives. Choose wisely and choose in the Lord!




SOURCE:
posted by Pastor Stephen Kim
10 WOMEN CHRISTIAN MEN SHOULD NOT MARRY | NYCpastor.com

yes very true
 
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com7fy8

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unless the first marriage ended due to a partner’s sexual infidelity,
But if a woman married someone who turned out to be a cheater, this can mean she is not able to tell the difference between a real man of love and a man who does not know how to love. So, she needs to make sure she becomes able to tell the difference.

Also, her own ways could have helped her get with a person who is not real in love; so she needs to submit to God and however He knows she needs correction. And I would say make sure with God about if she and I are ready for a real relationship; in case she has issues, probably I do too.
 
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blackribbon

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"Marry the Mary (no pun intended). Such women have picked “…the good portion, which will not be taken away” from them. God be with you men. Strong families start with strong wives. Choose wisely and choose in the Lord!"

The Psalms 31 woman appears to have a successful career as well as being a good wife and mother.

Also, any woman who meets this list is going to look for a man who is a active believer, doesn't have a wandering eye that admires other women who dress sexy, who provides intellectual stimulation for his wife and includes her in his out of the house adventures, and is not a loud-mouth himself, is good with children and devoted to raising them, and recognizes his wives value as a person and puts her needs above his in their marriage as Ephesians 5:25-30 commands.

As for the "older woman"....I believe man (and woman) were created on the same day...so their age is basically the same. I doubt that God is calling us to find a mate who shares the same birthday. Even Jewish law required a man to marry his brother's widow to give her children if the brother died childless...the widow would likely be older than the unmarried brother....

"Marry the Mary"....so marry the one who does not clean and cook and spends all her time sitting at Jesus' feet (or studying the Bible)? I personally think this story is about recognizing when it is time to walk away from daily responsibilities ... not to describe the perfect wife.
 
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keith99

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But if a woman married someone who turned out to be a cheater, this can mean she is not able to tell the difference between a real man of love and a man who does not know how to love. So, she needs to make sure she becomes able to tell the difference.

Also, her own ways could have helped her get with a person who is not real in love; so she needs to submit to God and however He knows she needs correction. And I would say make sure with God about if she and I are ready for a real relationship; in case she has issues, probably I do too.

You do realize that this is about reasons why a Christian man should not marry a woman, right? That she might be poor at recognising a cheater seems a pretty poor reason not to marry her since he would be the man in question. If he is not a cheater no problem, if he is then she is not the problem.
 
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com7fy8

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You do realize that this is about reasons why a Christian man should not marry a woman, right? That she might be poor at recognising a cheater seems a pretty poor reason not to marry her since he would be the man in question. If he is not a cheater no problem, if he is then she is not the problem.
I understand the question, I offer, and I am trying to offer some perspective about it. I think a woman needs to take responsibility for being able to tell the difference so she can not be fooled. The Bible is clear how God desires to guide us "continually" (Isaiah 58:11, with Philippians 2:13), how Jesus says His sheep will not follow another. So, if a woman has fooled herself into marrying a cheater, then gets a divorce, I think it is wise to evaluate if she has gotten correction and learned from God so now she can be more reliable in her judgment.

I did not mean that any and all women who have divorced cheaters are automatically unsuitable for marriage. But I think I have seen how ones who made unwise choices can still be living foolishly. How a man or woman is can be what determines who she or he is able to connect with. So, I am sure it is wise to be able to make sure with God about whom we do well to trust and how each person is ready to be trusted.
 
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blackribbon

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I understand the question, I offer, and I am trying to offer some perspective about it. I think a woman needs to take responsibility for being able to tell the difference so she can not be fooled. The Bible is clear how God desires to guide us "continually" (Isaiah 58:11, with Philippians 2:13), how Jesus says His sheep will not follow another. So, if a woman has fooled herself into marrying a cheater, then gets a divorce, I think it is wise to evaluate if she has gotten correction and learned from God so now she can be more reliable in her judgment.

I did not mean that any and all women who have divorced cheaters are automatically unsuitable for marriage. But I think I have seen how ones who made unwise choices can still be living foolishly. How a man or woman is can be what determines who she or he is able to connect with. So, I am sure it is wise to be able to make sure with God about whom we do well to trust and how each person is ready to be trusted.

Exactly what traits define men who will cheat in the future....share with us so the rest of us know.

Or are you talking about a man who is currently a cheat and women defend him and think that he has changed?
 
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com7fy8

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SoldierOfTheKing

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So there is no such thing a cheating before marriage?

In once sense there is, but not in the sense of violation of the marriage covenant. Anyway, the point I was making is that cheating is something one does, not something one is.
 
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