I have always found myself a bit unconformable around the topic but i just need to find out the truth. I have been a beliver for a long time. I was always tought that same sex attractaction was veey sinful and an abomination. I have never thought much about it but as i moved through grade levels when i was younger i started developing some sex attractactions. And i am NOT blamming god and im not saying it is HIS fault. I have an attraction for both women anf men but i prefer men at times. I never had many friends growing up. And when i did have one i would end up developing an attraction for that One person (guy). My dad always told me that being gay was wrong. I prayed repeatedly but something new happened a year ago. I was gay at first but then became Bi Sexual after praying to god for a straight attraction lots of times. I still have a feeling i am still in the wrong even though i have a choice between 2 genders. I have never told my parents because they condemn anything gay related. I had grown very depressed and thinking a bit suicidal. I have been around people who laughed at gays and i pretended to be straight for years still hoping that i could change and trick my body. My father told me Gay people are possed by inner demons abd are being controlled by evil. I want to know the truth?? I just feel like im losing hope as lobger as i wait. I dont know if Bi Sexual is still a sin or not. I always get very sensitive talking about this because i just feel hopeless and lost. I am constantly paranoid while im sleeping that whenever i hear a sound or some sound heavenly like i get scared and look out the window thinking that i am being left behind from gods angels. I had my mom tell me that she had a dream that a i was about to get shot but then a dove came in and took the bullet for me. I am convinced that god is
trying giving me a message but i just dont know. I know its alot to take in but i am just so lost. Please respond nicely as i am very senistive.
I once identified as a bi-sexual for two years up to a few months this year. I have never told my parents, never felt I had to, because didn't see it as crucial to announce, although the culture of the home is kinda like yours. Now if I was to give a label to where my attractions lie, probably still be that because I'm still dealing with this flesh, and the attractions comes from time to time. But I give a piece of my background to tell you this, and this is where I notice alot of people start to feel all messed up:
We are living in a very self-obsessed and self-controlling world where people have to be so aware of everything, that its almost becoming thought policing. We became so conscious and sensitive that we've become foolish. We take feelings and we make it as truths, as identity. We have so many labels now, and we obsess over it until it consumes us, we neglect just trusting God, just being thankful for life, just letting God do His thing, trusting and being obedient, and we instead focus on how we can be gods of our own life, what we think will bring happiness, what will and won't work, and it goes on.
So what happens when we're not really trusting what God say, nor understand His will, and we come up with pressing feelings or struggles? We feel frazzled, confused, lost, and we bypass the Truth and promises and try to DIY it. Societies respond to sin is that because you have it, it must have already been with you, its a part of you, own it, and live your life. Instead of actually finding the root, and letting God deal with it, instead its mask with label and society drives the narrative of now the new false image. Because I have certain feelings, i must be a bi-sexual and I must now play the part or else im lying to myself. Or because I have them, I am damned because my label is bi-sexual and I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my mind.
This is why Matthew 16:24 was so powerful for me. I asked God, can I be a bi-sexual christian? How can I be blessed and an abomination at the same time? Jesus said, if you want to be my disciple, if you want to walk in Truth, if you desire the fruits of the spirit and eternal life, you first have to deny yourself.
This is your first and I would argue MOST CRUCIAL step. Now that you are honest with yourself,you have to drop the label of "bi-sexual". Do not make your attractions an identity. Your are beyond sexuality. Its pitiful that even among christians that somehow the most important thing to our existence is being heterosexual.It is not. The most important thing is to be image bearers, this only happens if you drop whatever image of yourself you have, and take on God's image. As long as you attract your circumstance to a false image of who you are, you will get stuck there. Unless a man is born-again, they cannot enter the kingdom of God.
Then you'll know how to pick up your cross daily and follow God. Get to know your identity in Christ, your responsibilities and His will for you. Does it guarantee that now you'll automatically never have attraction for guys ever again, you'll only like girls? No. It guarantees that as long as your strength is in God, when they do arise like any other sin, you can overcome them. God will heal you, and you might discover along the way the things you haven't noticed that had influenced you, and bit by bit it gets removed. It could mean self-esteem starts to be better, or places you use to go you lose interest, sin is a messy web, the bi-sexuality is just a by-product of so many different influences seen and unseen.
So yes, by definition you may be a bi-sexual like me, or by definition a liar, a fornicator. By definition we are all sinners. But thanks be to God, that He saves us from such sentence, and through His blood and salvation we can drop those labels and have rights to be called the children of God. Don't sabotage your freedom nor limit God because of these guilt-tripping labels and be encouraged.