Raising Kids Today

I laughed. (Sorry).

I have a five year old. I don't particularly feel that raising her is more difficult than, say, it would have been a generation ago, just different.

A generation ago her autism would probably have gone undiagnosed until much later. A generation ago I wouldn't have had the supports and resources I do now (in lots of ways). A generation ago my husband would have been much less likely to have been an equal partner in parenting and the domestic side of life. And so on.

It's just different.

Phoebe Ann said:

It must be horribly difficult! My eleven-year-old grandson (one of them) loses computer privileges if he doesn't behave. There was a password on the computer. He figured out how to change it! Now his parents are the ones who don't know the password!

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I'd say google it, but that's difficult without a computer.
some promising results with "if a kid changes the password on the computer, how to fix"
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you can use the F8 key during windows startup. Continually hit F8 when your computer first turns on, BEFORE the windows screen loads. It will prompt you with choices on how to boot windows. Choose Safe Mode, and goto Control Panel > User Accounts and change the passwords there.
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that's probably what the kid did.

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True Christ-followers teach and discipline their children according to the truths revealed in the Bible.

1.The Bible says not to frustrate or provoke your children to anger (Ephesians 6:4).
2.Children should obey and honor their parents.(Ephesians 6:1-2; Exodus 20:12; Matthew 15:4)
3.DISCIPLINE:

discipline...Hebrew 4148...muwcar...chastening, correction

Proverbs 13:1
A wise son accepts his father's discipline,
But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

discipline...Greek3809...paideia...
I.the whole training and education of children
(which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals,
and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment)
It also includes the training and care of the body

Rev. 3:19
‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent.

4. Apply the Corporeal Punishment of Correction only when necessary, never with your hand in anger
Physical Discipline: Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 22:15; Proverbs 23:13, 14; Proverbs 29:15; Hebrews 12:11
Deuteronomy 8:5;Deuteronomy 21:18;Proverbs 6:23

REF: How To Discipline Children: 7 Tips for Christian Parents

Deut. 6:7
And thou shalt teach them (God's Laws) diligently unto thy children,
and shalt talk of them
when thou sittest in thine house, and
when thou walkest by the way, and
when thou liest down, and
when thou risest up.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way (bent) he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Child rearing has been turned on it's head in the modern age. Children no longer serve the needs of the family. The family (parents) must now serve the wants of their children, even to the point of sacrificing their retirement so the kids can go to college.

I think this is the main reason for the destruction of the middle class.

Child rearing has been turned on it's head in the modern age.

RESPONSE:

Why?! Failure of Christ-following parents to obey the wisdom in the Bible. SEE Post #6 !!

Phoebe Ann said:

It must be horribly difficult! My eleven-year-old grandson (one of them) loses computer privileges if he doesn't behave. There was a password on the computer. He figured out how to change it! Now his parents are the ones who don't know the password!

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Unplug it.

IMO...folks who have diagnosable "emotional problems" should not be allowed to marry in the church nor begat offspring!

Ron Gurley said:

IMO...folks who have diagnosable "emotional problems" should not be allowed to marry in the church nor begat offspring!

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How would you enforce that second idea? Thats a rather wide swath of the population you just forbid from procreating.

Competency is required for a civil marriage.
Any two can make babies illegitimately.

Ron Gurley said:

Competency is required for a civil marriage.

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Now it's civil marriage not just religious marriage? Again, this is a very wide swath of the population that you're looking to restrict.

Ron Gurley said:

Any two can make babies illegitimately.

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Wait, what happened to not allowing them to "begat offspring"?

OldWiseGuy said:

Child rearing has been turned on it's head in the modern age. Children no longer serve the needs of the family. The family (parents) must now serve the wants of their children, even to the point of sacrificing their retirement so the kids can go to college.

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There's something right about not expecting children to "serve the needs of the family," though, isn't there? Children are vulnerable and powerless within the family structure. They are also more needy than adults who are able to independently order their lives (this is why neglect is a recognised category of abuse of children).

I do agree that there's a difference between needs and wants, one which often gets lost in our consumerist society, but I think it would be a mistake to go back to the days when children were there to fulfil parents' needs, or to be exploited.

Phoebe Ann said:

Some Christians (well, church goers) have their own emotional problems which doesn't help.

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On the one hand the politicians and 'experts' are quick to impute irrelevance to Christianity; on the other hand, North Americans just looooove to spend time talking to psychotherapists about their feelings. Some - not all - of the business-like therapists will (naturally) take the view: "All contributions gratefully received."

And then people wonder why family life suffers from people's self-centredness...

Paidiske said:

There's something right about not expecting children to "serve the needs of the family," though, isn't there? Children are vulnerable and powerless within the family structure. They are also more needy than adults who are able to independently order their lives (this is why neglect is a recognised category of abuse of children).

I do agree that there's a difference between needs and wants, one which often gets lost in our consumerist society, but I think it would be a mistake to go back to the days when children were there to fulfil parents' needs, or to be exploited.

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The best place for children to learn work skills, personal discipline, cooperation, and sense of personal value is by working for their own family, until they are emancipated of course. Sadly most families don't really have plans that their kids can contribute to and learn from. Many kids I have known have worked in their family's businesses even as adults. One family in particular put all their kids through college by employing them in the family restaurant. My current employers grew up working for and now manage their family's business.

A girlfriend and her brothers and sister worked in the family motel business cleaning units and doing laundry, and from a young age.

My brother and I mowed lawns and shoveled snow in the neighborhood as youngsters as there was no money for 'allowances'. Elderly neighbors asked our parents if we would do this for them and our parents 'volunteered' my brother and I for these tasks. Some paid us well, most didn't. But that was life for a kid in the 1940's.

We were also charged with weekly cleaning duties as well as seasonal stuff like changing storms and screens. We were not allowed to play until all tasks were completed. I didn't like it but my father wasn't sympathetic in the least.

But it yielded fruit. Once after finishing my cleaning duties I recall viewing our home with a sense of pride at the cleanliness and order that I helped accomplish (I was 16 at the time).

The long and short of it is that your kids are your 'employees' until they are of age. That's why God calls them a blessing. Sadly many kids today are a curse for their parents.

I strongly object to viewing children as employees. We are charged with teaching them life skills and forming their character, yes, but they are not there for our commercial or personal gain.

Paidiske said:

I strongly object to viewing children as employees. We are charged with teaching them life skills and forming their character, yes, but they are not there for our commercial or personal gain.

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It follows then that they shouldn't expect to share in family wealth or other legacies (read inheritance).

I read a story in Reader's Digest once, that I immediately understood. It was titled, "Every Farm Needs a Boy". A boy on a family farm is an unpaid 'step and fetchit' worker whose task it is the do whatever his parents ask him to do; those little annoying, time consuming tasks that interrupt serious production.

Often when my dad was working on a project I had to remain with him in case he needed me to 'fetch' some tool or material for him as he didn't want to have to stop what he was doing. As an adult I often wish I had such a helper.

Sadly my wife didn't think I needed one as she took my son with her when she left me. So when we were together on weekends I didn't have the heart to make him work as I knew his mother had pretty much used him up during the week.