Self confidence & Self esteem - Idols

Ben Collyer said:

I have been trying to work through the stronghold of insecurity recently. I know it will take a long time but first I need a direction to go in. I am very sensitive to rejection and have low self esteem.

I have been reading recently that deriving my self worth and happiness from the acceptance and love of others is idolatry. but is it really realistic to be completely divorced from the need for acceptance?

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We need to keep Christ-focused, rather than self-focused. Hebrews 12.2 is a great reference point for the believer.

Ben Collyer said:

I have been trying to work through the stronghold of insecurity recently. I know it will take a long time but first I need a direction to go in. I am very sensitive to rejection and have low self esteem.

I have been reading recently that deriving my self worth and happiness from the acceptance and love of others is idolatry. but is it really realistic to be completely divorced from the need for acceptance?

Click to expand...

Study the bible you'll learn we're all a like, and after enough years of doing it you'll know you know more than most pastors, who the bible has nothing good to say about anyway.

Ben Collyer said:

I have been trying to work through the stronghold of insecurity recently. I know it will take a long time but first I need a direction to go in. I am very sensitive to rejection and have low self esteem.

I have been reading recently that deriving my self worth and happiness from the acceptance and love of others is idolatry. but is it really realistic to be completely divorced from the need for acceptance?

Click to expand...

It's natural to want to be loved by others. And others should love you, as part of following Christ. But not all will follow Him.

But the only way to feel real (true and deep) peace inside--is to rely on what He said is the way --

25At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

27“All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

28“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Ben Collyer said:

I have been trying to work through the stronghold of insecurity recently. I know it will take a long time but first I need a direction to go in. I am very sensitive to rejection and have low self esteem.

I have been reading recently that deriving my self worth and happiness from the acceptance and love of others is idolatry. but is it really realistic to be completely divorced from the need for acceptance?

Click to expand...

You should pity those who don't love you.. they are expressing pain. Do you know that misery loves company? 1 John 4:7-8 shows that these ones do not even know God, and they haven't been born of God that they possibly could know how they should act toward you (John 15:18-21).

“You have heard that it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven. For he causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Don’t even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what are you doing out of the ordinary? Don’t even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Matthew 5:43-48

It just seems that there is some lack in your strength of being above them (eg: Genesis 3:14, Isaiah 27:4), and I think that it probably does come through knowing in fact that you are entitled (by right) to a love that they are not giving you. Here's a thought for you to take away and ponder: seeing that sin entered the world through one man, and how much more the life can overflow through the sacrifice of the one man Jesus Christ, then also consider that we who have life also have the power to breathe life into those around us (Proverbs 18:21, James 3:9-18).

It is interesting to think of it as idolatry though, I will keep that idea growing! Thanks for that

I think @Serving Zion has a good point there. How can we really have low self esteem or lack confidence when the Holy Spirit is in us and we are the beloved son or daughter of the creator of the universe? We need to claim that. We need to claim that we are mighty and yet humble, fierce and yet gentle. Claim who you are in Christ and don't let the world define you as anything less than a saint on the path of sanctification.

Chosen_and_blessed said:

I think @Serving Zion has a good point there. How can we really have low self esteem or lack confidence when the Holy Spirit is in us and we are the beloved son or daughter of the creator of the universe? We need to claim that. We need to claim that we are mighty and yet humble, fierce and yet gentle. Claim who you are in Christ and don't let the world define you as anything less than a saint on the path of sanctification.

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Indeed; Job 6.25 says: "How forcible are right words".

Ben, I am praying that God will enable you to see yourself as He sees you. If you ever get a vision of yourself from God's perspective, it will completely change your life! It will also completely change the way you see other people! (I can't really explain it in words because it's Spiritual sight that has to be revealed by God, not something a person can work up in themselves.)

Ben Collyer said:

I have been trying to work through the stronghold of insecurity recently. I know it will take a long time but first I need a direction to go in. I am very sensitive to rejection and have low self esteem.

I have been reading recently that deriving my self worth and happiness from the acceptance and love of others is idolatry. but is it really realistic to be completely divorced from the need for acceptance?

Click to expand...

Take one step at a time. Start small
And just stay on track to keep working on it.

I think we all desire acceptance. You just need to keep it in check.

God bless

Ben Collyer said:

I have been trying to work through the stronghold of insecurity recently. I know it will take a long time but first I need a direction to go in. I am very sensitive to rejection and have low self esteem.

I have been reading recently that deriving my self worth and happiness from the acceptance and love of others is idolatry. but is it really realistic to be completely divorced from the need for acceptance?

Click to expand...

I recall trying that, not caring what anything thought because social interactions seemed wired to make you addicted to conform. Divorcing the need for acceptance seems a little extreme and is bound to give off the impression of hostility.
.
Sometimes the issue is that people don't see me, and they like a strawman that they label as me. So seeking acceptance in this context is a lie, and only the strawman me would get any benefit from it anyway.

Think of 5 things you like about yourself each day and write them down in a notebook.

I am doing this exercise for something and it helps. It makes you realize that there are great things about yourself. Even if others do not see it, God sees it. It will help with your own self esteem.