Feeling Condemned And Embarrassed

John55107

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Hi,I’m a 20 year old Male from Minnesota,and I go to this Christian Internship at my church Living Word Christian Center,Idk if your are from Minnesota you may have heard of that church.Anyway there was a situation where I posted a few things on Facebook about like Marijuana,and my pastor saw who I’ve been talking to about some things and he told the head pastor of the Internship,and they brought me in to talk.Its not like they were yelling at me,and saying you know if you don’t stop we’re gonna kick you out or screw you or whatever.But they were being nice about it,gentle of course.But the point I wanna get to is,I don’t even smoke weed.Like yeah I’ve tried it and everything but it’s not something I’ve been able to get ahold of.They asked me if. I did and I lied and told them I did!Like I don’t know if I was feeling insecure or what but that was so stupid,Like I could have just said no?????And I feel so angry and embarrassed about it,like now they have this perception of me,this disgusting image of a drug addict which I’m not and never will be.Like,I’m not a bad person.I have morals I’m a Christian I go to church.Ya,I know they love me but I still feel attacked and cornered and very embarrassed.I and very angry.Not because I’m mad they saw that,but now I have this image hanging over me.
 

Stancet

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I can understand the situation you are in.

This is probably the only advice that is going to help you. Your internship at your church might be on the line. I recommend you pray for God's forgiveness and direction, and then go to your pastor, set the story straight and ask him to forgive you for lying. If not, I don't want to see you loose an internship if that's what God called you to do.

Read James 5:13-16. Your pastor should forgive you, but that's not a promise. God is still in control and if He wants you to stay at this church He will give your pastor a forgiving spirit.
 
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jacks

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Don't beat yourself up so much. We all do stupid things or things we regret (repeatedly). The best approach now is to just come clean. Tell your pastor just what you told us. O.K. you made a mistake, no big deal, nip it in the bud (no pun intended) and move on. They still love you and more importantly, God still loves you.
 
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Stancet

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I don't know about the lie part, he told them he did it and he did try it and can't get ahold of it. So ya, he actually told the truth didn't he ?

Well, I had to read his post two or three times to understand everything.
 
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John55107

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Of course they want to have people of good reputation don't they
Nothing wrong with that per se

But if they can only bring in perfect people why even have a ministry

Right!I think it is about reputation.
 
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christianforumsuser

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Where the heart is is very importnt
Anyone can try to act traits that suggest loyalty
Things are like this for a reason...people do it but barely know why if at all

Because like a business you want to advertise the right values and like politics show that you take it serious and it's not a game and seem humble
But what matters more is the heart and people might look very quickly at someone if they don't know them and get first impressions that affect the future
Some people start off looking so nice and loving clean but are revealed as hiding bad things

People get tempted or peer pressured...and the past is the past if someone repents from the heart and has the problem of sin resolved by God and to His love
What does it say about a man who speaks about it so loosely...or keeps doing it...
Again, an exception is that the man is still perhaps weak and lacks the right faith and understanding

God didn't use the hardened arrogant people who loved worldly pleasures more than Him
And breaking a law or other things might mean more to some people or the disrespect and disloyalty...without real repentance even quickly
God can teach by His Word to those who listen and desire His blessings
 
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Halbhh

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Well, let's add something here.

I haven't ever smoked marijuana, and won't I expect, but having read through the bible fully, I think the closest thing in scripture to this is the rules concerning wine/alcohol. (and here's a nice article with many scriptures: A Little Wine for the Soul?)

For such things as wine, which is somewhat related, in that it is an mood altering intoxicant also, the message isn't that to drink wine is wrong, but rather drunkenness is wrong.

That's about as much as we could then apply to similar such things as marijuana -- therefore we can only say that if it is akin to drunkenness, then it is wrong.

Some apparently do take this herb for certain illnesses, without intoxication. (I don't claim to know much about it though, as to what extent their mood is altered, as compared to outright drunkeness)

So, therefore, I wonder if you rebelled against a wrongful judgmentalism on their part? It might be, or not, and I don't know, but I'm wondering what made you say you did smoke, if not a prompting to challenge their attitudes.
 
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christianforumsuser

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Smoking and drinking isn't really something people tend to approve of so highly...legal or just socially

Why? Is it wrong to have fun....or what is sinful...what is unclean/filthy/evil/wicked or clean and lawful...
And if you manage to follow one law do you not only move priority and substance to accomodate...
As a man tries not to lust...to not fornicate physically with his body...or even look...or be caught...does he sin in his mind or heart...or if he tries to fight those thoughts does he seem lawful and loving by some standard but in reality is cold and arrogant to God and men?
All he did is hide to not "look" like what is "seen" as traits of a sinful violent criminal

If people smoke...are they around bad influences who use it to party...is a plant bad...is a human not bad who uses tools for worldly values?
How much wine is too much...a glass...or depending on their needs...
I have no reason in mind but selfish pleasure if I see a pretty girl perhaps, but that's not on their radar is it
You're amidst a bunch of nonsense I think
To be clear I'm not saying what to do. The intention and purpose is important. Jesus might scold you whether you think you're lawful and culturally polite with tradition or not.
 
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