I just yelled and vented at God

NASA321 said:

There's stuff in my life that have caused me a lot of pain and anger for some time now. Finally it just blew up on me where I just finally, on my way to work in my car, just blew up and screamed at God. I told him how [staff edit] mad I was and told him exactly how I felt. I told him that I no longer trusted Him because He has not given me a reason to trust Him in this area of my life. I told him that despite any efforts to trust in him, nothing but more pain and frustration have occurred in my life with it. I know that we are to be honest with God as David was with him in Psalms. But unlike David, he always at the end seem to remind himself of the goodness of God, I just couldn't get myself to do because I was just so damn angry. I couldn't get myself to say "oh thank you for everything else" or "I know that you are loving and compassionate".

Any thoughts or comments on this would be appreciated.

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God knows what it is to suffer as a man (Isaiah 53:3). Moreover, God is the only one knows what it is to suffer innocently and be weak to the point of perishing, yet being without fail (Hebrews 4:15). God knows what it is to lose a child to the sin of the world (Romans 5:10), what it is to be rejected (again, Isaiah 53:3), betrayed by His closest friends who He was never unloyal to (Mark 14:50, Mark 14:67-71), and be unanswered in prayer regarding His will as a man but to trust Himself into His Father's hands (Mark 14:35-36), among every other form of human suffering. Yet He endured all of this in perfect innocence, being undeserving of any of His suffering.

Aside from being sympathetic to your suffering (which everyone who belongs to Christ should be (Galatians 6:2), and which Christ Himself especially is (Hebrews 4:15)), and casting your anxieties upon God (1 Peter 5:7), the fundamental understanding you need to have to not be overcome by any suffering is that God is trustworthy and is able to work all things for your good if you love Him, and walk according to His purpose (Romans 8:28), even if He does not take your cup from you. But, obviously, that is to be determined by God Himself when and whether He allows you to endure some circumstance for His glory, or if it is a burden that can be lifted from you which has completed it's course. However, when you pray, do not pray that He take your cup from you only, but that His will be done. Anything less and you are setting yourself up for further disappointment than that which merely occurs in the flesh, as Jesus said we would have trouble in this life, even some which will occur specifically on account of our relationship with Him, but that in Him it has already been overcome (John 16:33).

When you read and hear these promises of God, you ought not to be ensnared in the trap of the dulling that often happens of the impact in our mins when we are blessed by constant exposure to God's Word. Too often the promises which first energized us begin to become as sentiments in our minds, and we become discouraged because we read, hear and remember the promises but do not walk in faith of them anymore. Moreover, we may begin to twist the promises of God to say things which they do not mean, and become disappointed in expectations which the Lord Himself has not given us. But we have much greater promises than the happiness that is of the flesh and of the world, because we have the promises of the newness of life in Christ that begins now (1 Corinthians 5:17), culminates into literally indescribable glorification at the second coming of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:9), and wells up to eternal life in which their is no more pain or sorrow (John 4:14, Revelations 21:4).

If you do not take God seriously at His Word, then you will walk in bitterness and doubt and never overcome. This is why it is said, "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him (Hebrews 11:6)." But if we do consider His promises of what He has done with our past in our justification (John 3:16), sanctifying our present in the Holy Spirit (1 Peter 1:2, Titus 2:11-14) and preparing us for glorification in our unceasingly, incommensurately joyful future, regarding Him as faithful, then we will echo the exclamation of Paul when he says: "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18)

Do you want a holy life , living life in exiles from the world ? Livng life as a purely devoted follower of Jesus christ. Where God will answer ur prayer , then go the church everyday praise and worship GOD, and i believe if you keep all the commandment?
Leaving all wordly desire ? For if you are really been calling to be servant of Jesus.

God does increase our faith during trials.

James 1:2-4
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you encounter trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Allow perseverance to finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

ToBeLoved said:

God does increase our faith during trials.

James 1:2-4
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you encounter trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Allow perseverance to finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

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Wru from

NASA321 said:

There's stuff in my life that have caused me a lot of pain and anger for some time now. Finally it just blew up on me where I just finally, on my way to work in my car, just blew up and screamed at God. I told him how [staff edit] mad I was and told him exactly how I felt. I told him that I no longer trusted Him because He has not given me a reason to trust Him in this area of my life. I told him that despite any efforts to trust in him, nothing but more pain and frustration have occurred in my life with it. I know that we are to be honest with God as David was with him in Psalms. But unlike David, he always at the end seem to remind himself of the goodness of God, I just couldn't get myself to do because I was just so damn angry. I couldn't get myself to say "oh thank you for everything else" or "I know that you are loving and compassionate".

Any thoughts or comments on this would be appreciated.

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Back in 1990 I began to get extremely angry at Messiah Yeshua - Jesus over his seeming acceptance of a paradigm of "many called, few chosen" combined with a "broad way leading to destruction and many there be who go in threat vs a narrow way leading to live and few finding it."

I was OK with that paradigm as long as I believed in the Soul Sleep doctrine..... but once I saw evidence for a very real hell and/ or purgatory........... those two verses from the New Testament put me into a serious theological crisis.

The whole thing led me though to be very interested in information that I believe will play a huge role in altering Christianity for the better......


Friends of yours watch Heaven Is For Real and ask you about it?

NASA321 said:

What do you mean he has me on the ropes?

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To my thinking this means that you are close to your full ministry.............
I wrote up my experience and sent it off to an online Sanhedrin Jewish Rabbi friend of mine back in 2010........


My conversation with the Rabbi.....

NASA321 said:

There's stuff in my life that have caused me a lot of pain and anger for some time now. Finally it just blew up on me where I just finally, on my way to work in my car, just blew up and screamed at God. I told him how [staff edit] mad I was and told him exactly how I felt. I told him that I no longer trusted Him because He has not given me a reason to trust Him in this area of my life. I told him that despite any efforts to trust in him, nothing but more pain and frustration have occurred in my life with it. I know that we are to be honest with God as David was with him in Psalms. But unlike David, he always at the end seem to remind himself of the goodness of God, I just couldn't get myself to do because I was just so damn angry. I couldn't get myself to say "oh thank you for everything else" or "I know that you are loving and compassionate".

Any thoughts or comments on this would be appreciated.

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The scripture "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." That is truth, whether we can 'see' it or not...we are all called and HE has a purpose and a plan since the beginning which by faith we begin to seek to find Him. In the process taking place within/journey of our soul to finding the Truth, we often build an image in our mind of what/who we think God is...all the while He is telling us "Be still and know that I am God..."

We come undone when the image we built is not the truth and things don't happen as we have thought they should be...based on our own perception. Trials and tribulation are on the path to finding Him in spirit and in truth. As we learn from them, the light on the path shines further down the way and we can see where we are going. Cry out to God and ask HIM to show you who HE is...and HE will.

God's glory fills the whole earth...when we can 'see' it...ask HIM and He will reveal it...He loves you more than you know right now. Even in your anger, He doesn't you any less...but HE wants you to seek and find HIM...He knows everything about us...He made us and wants us to come to know Him as we have always been known. And, He promises great things to those who seek Him...in spirit and in truth...

NASA321 said:

There's stuff in my life that have caused me a lot of pain and anger for some time now. Finally it just blew up on me where I just finally, on my way to work in my car, just blew up and screamed at God. I told him how [staff edit] mad I was and told him exactly how I felt. I told him that I no longer trusted Him because He has not given me a reason to trust Him in this area of my life. I told him that despite any efforts to trust in him, nothing but more pain and frustration have occurred in my life with it. I know that we are to be honest with God as David was with him in Psalms. But unlike David, he always at the end seem to remind himself of the goodness of God, I just couldn't get myself to do because I was just so damn angry. I couldn't get myself to say "oh thank you for everything else" or "I know that you are loving and compassionate".

Any thoughts or comments on this would be appreciated.

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A lot of people forget that we're in the wrong with God, not God, God wrote the bible to bring us back to him, and that's also why Jesus came, we're evil at birth.

Genesis chapter 6 verse 5
The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.

I'm confident that the most important thing for you to do is see a good Christian counselor on a regular basis. You can't be talked out of your rage and depression, but you can be talked THROUGH your misery by a skilled listener. Only then can you gain the insights and self-awareness that will lead to victory. I say counselor because of the danger of seeing an unskilled pastor who basically exhorts you in a way that just makes things worse.

We are at a terrible disadvantage because you don't even disclose the general issues that vex you. Can you at least disclose in a vague way whether your issues are relationship problems, financial or job problems, or health problems?

Also, consider what unconscious dynamics might unconsciously be energizing your rage.
Let me ask you 7 pointed questions that you might understandably not want to answer in any detail on this thread, but which you should ask yourself:

(1) Are you certain as to what God's will might be in this matter?

(2) Are you unwittingly expecting God to violate someone else's free will by forcing them to make choices that favor your needs and desires?

(3) Did you seek divine guidance through prayer partners before you made an important decision? Or did you do what you wanted to do and then expect God to back your play?

(4) Before everything took a dramatic turn for the worse, were you unconsciously treating God like a cosmic slot machine? To be safely marginalized when your affairs are manageable, but to be summoned with a demanding spirit when all Hell breaks lose?

(5) Do you have a faith support group? If not, why not?

(6) Is there a veiled threat behind your rage? Are you unconsciously acting as if God is pretty lucky to have your loyalty and if He crosses you, you just may look elsewhere for the center of your life?

(7) Or are you just emotionally broken as a result of devastating reactions to unfortunate decisions that seemed right at the time? If so, God loves the company of the broken in spirit.

NASA321, we all I believe at some point feel like this. Sorry but it is also a part of ..not knowing Him. I once got really made at Him. All the other times nothing...but this one time.. HE came right back with "When did I ever fail you!". Was I giving Him every moment of my life. Was I praying when I got up or going to bed? Was I always keeping His word before my eyes? Was I talking to Him all day..all the time. Was He always on my mind? When I did ask for something.. did I wait on Him for the answer? Did I go by feelings or by faith?

Fact.. God has shown no favor with anyone. What He does for one.. He will do for all. The word makes it clear.. if we hav e not.. its because we ask not or have asked wrong. God will not direct your life do anything in our lifes unless we FREELY willingly give it to Him. But.. He KNOWS if we mean it from our heart or its just words. WE cant watch what ever we want..go anywhere we want hang around who ever we want and then expect God to do what? We just put Him 2nd.

Fact.. God can't lie He is never wrong ever. So if something in my life is or He is not around.. its ME or Satan is some how fighting.

I can only share what I know.. not guess not wonder.. but what IS written. So Nasa321...hold on. Repent for the doubt. No matter what it looks like feels like.. we are not faithful..when we are not.. HE IS always faithful! So.. you trust Him. Do not go by how you feel or what you see. You pray you talk to Him.. you read that word. Give Him each day every moment. We are free to LIVE our lifes. He wants to be a part of that. But we HAVE to ask. And then.. when you ask.. KNOW He hears you.. and if you KNOW He hears you no matter what ANY MAN says.. GOD WILL ANSWER YOU! HE can not lie. And what is GODS will?

THAT WORD! That bible is HIS will. So..its not God thats the problem. So many times is us and Satan that sees GOD is about to do something in YOUR LIFE and attacks. So..like any kid will do when they goof up.. just tell your Daddy your sorry and hold on! Something WONDERFUL is about to take place in your life. He is ALWAYS doing Good.

NASA321 said:

There's stuff in my life that have caused me a lot of pain and anger for some time now. Finally it just blew up on me where I just finally, on my way to work in my car, just blew up and screamed at God. I told him how [staff edit] mad I was and told him exactly how I felt. I told him that I no longer trusted Him because He has not given me a reason to trust Him in this area of my life. I told him that despite any efforts to trust in him, nothing but more pain and frustration have occurred in my life with it. I know that we are to be honest with God as David was with him in Psalms. But unlike David, he always at the end seem to remind himself of the goodness of God, I just couldn't get myself to do because I was just so damn angry. I couldn't get myself to say "oh thank you for everything else" or "I know that you are loving and compassionate".

Any thoughts or comments on this would be appreciated.

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Been there and done that.
May YHWH bless and keep you brother, May he smile at you and be merciful to you, May He look up at you and make everything alright. Shalom shabat.

NASA321 said:

I see your point. It's tough for me to not feel wronged or even cheated because I decided to trust in Him a year ago on something when I made a tough decision that went against what I wanted to do because I felt like it was Him convicting me to do that. I remember sobbing and telling Him how scared I was to make that decision but I did it because I trusted that He is good and He will be there for me. But in the last year, I have experienced even more pain and agony with this that ties to that issue a year ago. I have pleaded with Him to help me but received nothing but silence or as CS Lewis puts it " A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence. " I have a hard time understanding that from a loving Father that He is supposed to be. I am a compassionate person and even though I don't have kids, I love children. If my own child were in the state that I am in, I would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to help him. And when I ask Him why, I get no response. I am left here wondering "are you even there." I know that Job did the same thing and got no answer to His suffering but in the end, God came through and He was extravagantly rewarded for his faith. I am here receiving neither an answer nor a reward for what I have gone through and the trust that I have put in Him.

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Aometimes we think God is guiding us a certain way and it may have been ourselves or just our thinking.

Sometimes prayer is needed over weeks and weeks to try to confirm.

NASA321 said:

There's stuff in my life that have caused me a lot of pain and anger for some time now. Finally it just blew up on me where I just finally, on my way to work in my car, just blew up and screamed at God.

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NASA321 said:

And when I ask Him why, I get no response. I am left here wondering "are you even there." I know that Job did the same thing and got no answer to His suffering but in the end, God came through and He was extravagantly rewarded for his faith. I am here receiving neither an answer nor a reward for what I have gone through and the trust that I have put in Him.

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Sounds like you're having a real rough time. I can empathise with that.

Sometimes God answers in ways that you "think" you don't hear, maybe because it doesn't come as a voice inside your head - maybe it comes from a friend, someone answering your cry on CF, or even something you see on a billboard, when in fact it is coming through them from him... and you, like me, don't recognise it's from him.

Your first sentence caught my attention. It sounds like you have been letting stuff build up for some time - until it just blew! Perhaps God's answer is right there... don't let things "build up" - deal with them as soon as possible. In his sermon on the mount (Matt 5-7) he tells us "when you go to worship God and remember that someone has something against you, leave your offering (your worship) and go get right with that person! Then come back and worship God." He doesn't want to receive your worship until you settle things with the other person. Later in the same book, he gives a similar pieve of advice, but this time it's if you remember you have something against another person.... In either case, (you have wronged or been wronged) we have always the responsibility to take the initiative to reconcile. I don't know what's been bugging you and causing frustration to build up - but you do, and you know whether or not I'm way off the mark.

Another thought that your frustration with the "silent treatment" is that most often the act of prayer (even for another person) does more to us and for us, than anyone else. Be angry, but don't sin. Be angry at God, he is big enough to take it (with grace) but don't sin. Lots and lots of people have had the silent treatment, and their later thoughts on it are very different. It can be different for the same person at different times. Sometimes I have later realised, that there really wasn't a need for an answer - I knew deep down what to do, without having to ask him - I just wanted to get a different answer, and was annoyed that he wouldn't give it to me. His answering "silence" said lound and clear (if I only noticed) "Monna, come on, you know the answer already. Just do it." Franscis Schaeffer wrote a whole book called "He is there and he is not silent." Often we are simply not picking up the signals, or not wanting to get the particular signal that's coming in so we turn a deaf ear, while deceiving ourselves that we're not getting anything. Other times I have realised that I was asking the wrong question, focusing on the wrong issue, and the "non-answer" I was getting didn't fit the Question I actually asked - but did fit the question I should have asked. You got angry at God, and then wrote about it on CF out of frustration with his silence. As a result you're getting a lot of tips about different things - some of which you think are irrelevant to your question, but maybe somewhere in among all the replies there are things that He wants you to know. Maybe He was the one that got you to the keyboard and got you writing - as a way to get answers to questions you didn't even know you should be asking.

Keep on keeping on. Go back to him, cry out to him the simple "help!" and "forgive me." Remember you have the Holy Spirit communicating for you, expressing your deepest feelings and longings in words that are better than yours, words that will touch the Father. Remember too, that you have a mediator - the man Christ Jesus - standing at the right hand of the Father, interceding for you. Thank him for his work there, ask him for grace and strength and wisdom and perseverance. You can't learn perseverance without persevering - like you can't learn patience without waiting. So hang in there - or rather, let him hold onto you, and relax in his love for you. God bless!

Behold, the LORD'S hand is not so short That it cannot save; Nor is His ear so dull That it cannot hear. Isaiah 59:1

NASA321 said:

1. What did He say to her?
2. All I heard after that was a deafening silence.

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Something along the lines of "it is in My hands". And it was like He was in the car, except nobody was in the car.

My wife and I have experienced three bonafide miracles besides that one. One healing was a simple thing. But what made it so powerful is the way it happened. Reader's Digest version I was the one who laid hands on her but it was like it wasn't me. I've experienced nothing like it before or after. But there is an epilogue: I rarely mention it to people, but did share with a pastor here and his comeback was quite interestiong

He told of his natural duties to visit people in hospitals and he's visited many who are obviously on death's bed. He still prays for healing and for God's will to be done. They then die and things progress as usual. But one day he was visiting a young man who had been in a very severe motorcycle crash. He was dying and, on the surface, this was another case of, pray for peace and let the Lord's will be done sort of thing, but "something" he could not explain compelled him to see that this terribly busted up and unresponsive man was going to LIVE and to pray accordingly. The way he described it to me was that it was as if he KNEW this apparently irreparable man was going to do fine. So he prayed earnesetly for what he had basically been TOLD to pray for by the spirit.

I'm sure you are not surprised to hear that the kid pulled out and did fine.

It made a lasting impression on this preacher. Miracles do that. And as in my case, it was not so much the healing that was the miracle but the whole event.

When you've experienced God firsthand, it's hard to turn your back on him. He is as real (more real, actually) as this keyboard I'm typing on. It changes your perspective about EVERYTHING.

NASA321 said:

I mentioned Job to Him when I yelled at Him. I told him that He gave Job so much and after Job trusted Him, He gave him even more. I'm sitting here trusting in Him only to receive more suffering and pain and frustration.

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Yes, Job trusted God/Jesus but he had also ignorantly sinned against God by making a fake offering to God to "insure" his prosperity just in case his spoiled sons might commit sins/evil-deeds, as per JOB.1:5 & 3:25. Hence, God/Jesus permitted Satan to afflict Job and his family. Job kept the faith/trust/belief but his wife lost it, cursed/blasphemed God and died = lost her salvation. In the end, Job was doubly blessed/rewarded by God even though he did not know why those calamities/curses hit him earlier.
... 400 years after the story of Job or 400 years later, Moses Law at EXODUS.20:5 revealed that the sons' sins/evil-deeds would not befall on the father and forefather; only the forefathers' sins would befall on the sons, grandsons, great grandsons = Job was mistaken, had worried for nothing and made a sinful offering, ie even if his spoiled sons had really sinned, Job would not have lost his hard-earned prosperity which were gotten through trusting God and His commandments(= one who fears God and shuns evil).

The story of Job was not God testing Job's faith by sending him curses/calamities. Only an evil father would do that to his son, eg purposely gives his son terminal cancer disease to test his faith/trust. Cancer is one of the curses of God for breaking His Law Covenant - DEUT.28:21-22.

I feel the same way about certain areas in my life, where I cried to God many times and nothing changed. But one Sunday my pastor preached about the importance of praise. The way David danced praising God and was abundantly blessed, and the same way the walls of Jericho fell when the Israelites marched around the city with their voices and instruments.

Sometimes God will answer just from your praise alone... after hearing that sermon, I now sing praise or worship songs around the house to show reverence.

I was also taught that when you pray for others, God will bless you for it because normally when we pray we're asking for things for ourselves, so praying for other people is a very selfless thing to do.

Try these things and see...

Almost there said:

My wife did that on the way from the hospital right after her first husband died of leukemia and left her with three children under six and no life insurance. She even beat the dashboard.

But He actually spoke to her when she was done and brought a complete peace on her.

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Beautiful