In case you were unaware, what you resort to is known as proof-texting. Anyone can cite/proof-text a verse claiming that it supports what they believe.
Which, with respect, is what you did.
You quoted the OP, and said;
Jesus said: "The one having My commandments and keeping them, he is the one loving Me. Now the one loving Me will be loved by My Father. And I will love him, and will show Myself to him" (Jn 14:21). BLB
This verse states that our love for God is manifested by our obedience to Him. God's love for us is conditioned upon our obedience.
The position you were putting forward is that "God's love for us is conditioned upon our obedience." The verse you gave in support of that was John 14:21 - ONE verse.
In response, I said that Christ died for sinners - he gave his life for those who were without God and didn't know him. He didn't wait for us to start loving and obeying him first.
True, I admit that I didn't give Scripture references to support that, but there are a lot of them.
Romans 5:6-8 says that it is unlikely that anyone would give their life for a good person, but Christ demonstrated his love by dying for us when we were sinners.
Romans 3:23 says that ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Matthew 26:28 says that Jesus shed his blood for the forgiveness of sins.
John 3:16 says that Jesus died for the world.
John 6:40 says that God's will is that
everyone who looks to the Son and receives him, shall have eternal life.
John 3:36 and 1 John 5:12 say that
whoever has the Son of God, has life; whoever doesn't, doesn't.
Ephesians 2:1-3 says that we used to be dead in our sins - as was everyone who followed the ways of the world.
Colossians 1:19-20 says that God was pleased to reconcile
all things to himself by making peace through the blood of Christ.
2 Peter 3:9 says that God does not want anyone to perish but
all to come to repentance.
The teaching of these, and indeed of the Bible, is that mankind sinned; God saved us.
He gave the Israelites animal sacrifices by which they could atone for their sins, and then sent Jesus who died, once for all, for the sin of the world and gave us the opportunity to be reconciled to God.
The whole Gospel is; you are sinners, far from God and, if you continue in your sin you will be separated from him when you die - ie hell. But God doesn't want that and sent his Son. If you receive him and repent, you will have eternal life. Jesus is the only way to God, John 14:6, and the only one who can save us, Acts 4:12.
Nowhere does the Bible say, "believe in God, do good deeds and if you continue to do that, THEN God will love you.
I also pointed out that;
God doesn't say, "I will only love you if you love me". Jesus said that even the pagans do that, Matthew 5:46, but that God is perfect, Matthew 5:48
Jesus said that it's easy to love those who love us back, or who loved us first. He taught us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us though. And this was illustrated perfectly by the cross; while we were sinners, Christ died for us.
What I specifically asked you to do is to explain why Jn 14:21 doesn't contradict what you believe.
I did.
I said that John teaches that we love because God first loved us, and that love comes from God because he IS love.
I said that God loves us, and showed that love by sending Jesus to die for us. When we think about, grasp and respond to such love, then we will love God. As we love God and walk in the light with him, he will give us more of his love; agape love.
We can only keep Jesus' command to love others with the same love that he showed to us - agape love - by coming to God and receiving that love.
We only come to God when we realise/accept that he sent Jesus to die for us when we were sinners and didn't deserve it. We love God because he first loved us.
It's a circle of love; one that began with God.
It is all from God. WE sinned and deserved eternal death; God sent his Son to die and give us eternal life.
The Good News is not "if you work hard and do enough you will earn God's love", it is "we could never earn God's love and favour, but he has showed it anyway."