I need help

~Ivy~ · Oct 18, 2017

Mari17 said:
LOL yes a very OCD-ish post! Short answer: DON'T TAKE THE VOW. Your question "But how will I KNOW....?" is something we all do every time we're in a new obsession. And yes, your OCD will keep switching topics because it wants you to be worried about SOMETHING. Basically, unless you KNOW that it's not OCD, it's OCD! I'm off to work but I'm on here a couple times a day so keep posting/pming your questions and I'll try to answer them as I can! Praying that you find the resources, wisdom, and courage to beat this thing!!!

Later, may I have the long answer?

Praying for a great day at work for you! Thanks again! I'm afraid since I don't know whether or not that was a sign, I will make that vow purposefully or accidentally, thinking that God wants me to do that. :o thank you!!

~Ivy~ · Oct 18, 2017

Blessed Each Day said:
Well you haven't taken those vows, and no subconscious thoughts you have, or actions you may take (eating spaghetti etc.) mean you have taken a vow. That's just how it is, no matter how you slice it. Obviously, with OCD it's very, VERY easy to construe these thoughts/events as indicative of something greater when in fact they aren't. You've so much in life to experience, and you worry too much about taking a vow so early. You may meet someone, like you said, that will change your whole mindset. I understand the vow is something you've been contemplating, but know that you don't have to make a choice now; there's no time limit on when you have to make it.

Also, you can be celibate without making an unbreakable vow to God to remain celibate for your lifetime, they are not one and the same. My thought is, live your life, experience what God has in store for you, and if you choose to be celibate, that's great! You need not make a vow to God to do so, that can be a choice of your own like, "Hey, I want to be celibate until marriage" so don't stress so much about that (I know it's easy to say and hard to do :/. As for the video, I wouldn't put much stock in it, you've got to let God guide you, and interpreting his messages can be difficult, but not everything is a message, sometimes there are coincidences. If it's causing you this much trepidation, I would just hold off, and live your life for the time being, and remember what I said about cutting yourself off from those, "If this then that" statements. They will start to lessen more and more as time goes on.

Thanks so much!!

My friend sent that vid right when I started worrying that I was going to make that vow. And I really don't know if that was sent as a sign or a coincidence or just something that has caused me to make this account. But I worry that I will feel like it was sent as a sign and I'm pretty sure that any feelings that it is, is false. I'm worried that because I don't totally know whether it was sent as a sign or not, I will purposely or accidentally make that vow, thinking God wants me to do that. But I just don't know if He does or not. I'm kinda shaken up by the vid and I really don't want to take that vow.

discipler7 · Oct 18, 2017

~Ivy~ said:
I'm fighting OCD everyday and I'm hanging by a thread.

.
GENESIS.3: =
14 So the Lord God said to the serpent:

“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed;
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel.”
_ _ _ _ _ _ _

Being mentally or spiritually troubled by Satan is part of the curse all humans have to suffer for Adam's Original Sin, besides having to slog for a living, having childbirth in pain, etc, and eventually being sent to hell when they die.

We are born in Adam's Original Sin(ROMANS.5:12) = born with evil/sinful/satanic hearts(JOHN.8:44, MATTHEW.16:23 & 23:27, MARK.7:21, 1JOHN.3:8) = often involuntarily sin-in-thoughts, eg immoral lust, hate, anger, greed, selfishness, jealousy(eg MATT.5:27-30) and baseless fears/worries and doubts.

We should learn to resist Satan with the Word of God/Bible(MATT.4:1-11, EPH.6:15-17, 1PETER.5:8) or by ignoring Satan's 'whispering'(eg by exercising). Eg do not do what Satan wants you to do, eg murder, bully, extortion, adultery, stealing, lying/cheating, blasphemy, dishonor our parents, sorcery, etc.

I'm_Sorry · Oct 18, 2017

The only way to combat the lies of Obsessive Compulsive (Intrusive) thoughts is with the Truth.

We know who the father of lies is:

John 8:44
44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.

Be filled with His Word and His Holy Spirit ~Ivy~ and may God bless you,
Amen.

Mari17 · Oct 18, 2017

~Ivy~ said:
Later, may I have the long answer? Praying for a great day at work for you! Thanks again! I'm afraid since I don't know whether or not that was a sign, I will make that vow purposefully or accidentally, thinking that God wants me to do that. thank you!!

You may need to give me some clarification about what type of "answer" you're looking for. I'll attempt to give some more detail here but feel free to ask more questions if I didn't address it satisfactorily. Basically, your OCD is not going to let you rest. So, it will keep making you think that the video was a sign, that you should make a vow, that your mind is going to "accidentally" make the vow, etc., etc. The bummer with OCD is that in order to fight it, you have to take a risk and assume it's OCD, because you'll never know for sure. Because OCD specializes in making us feel confused. So, an example plan for handling this issue would be this:
1. I can't tell for sure if this is OCD, but it feels like it is, so I need to treat it like that. (One thing I've found helpful, an idea I borrowed from Jackie Lea Sommers, is to ask God to cover me by His grace IF I'm making a mistake by treating it as OCD. It always turns out to be OCD anyway, but that prayer still helps me be able to take that risk of identifying the issue as OCD).
2. I have to say no to ANY compulsions that stem from the OCD. That means allowing myself to do all the stuff my OCD is telling me not to do. It also means not blocking the thoughts, asking forgiveness for them, telling God I didn't mean them, etc.
3. Let the thoughts come, realizing that they don't have any real meaning. They're just your OCD, throwing rocks or rotten tomatoes or whatever you want to visualize at you, trying to get you to respond. Every time you respond in fear, by freaking out or performing one of your compulsions, that's a point for OCD. Every time you say "No, I don't think so," to OCD and refuse to obey it, no matter how much you hurt, that's a point for you, and you shrink its power over you. Eventually, if it sees you're continuing to not respond, it stops throwing stuff at you altogether. So, when a thought comes, you just tell yourself "That's a rotten tomato. That's a meaningless thought from my OCD." Let it splat against you. Don't clean it off. Don't respond at all. Let OCD do its thing. It will take awhile, but eventually it will get tired of not getting a response and give up. It's weaker than you think! (Sorry, weird analogy. I like making up strange analogies for OCD because it helps me visualize it better.)
Is this going to be easy? No way. It will hurt like everything, because it feels like you're "giving in" to the thoughts when you don't respond to them. You have to ignore that feeling too. Do what hurts - the opposite of whatever OCD is telling you to do. If it's telling you to respond to the thoughts, to tell God that you didn't mean it, just in case you really DID mean it - ignore it. If it's telling you not to do such-and-such because you might be making a vow - do it. Laugh in its face, and be openly defiant of it. You'll probably continue to be confused by thoughts, feeling like they might not be OCD. You have to keep treating them like OCD. As you come up out of the cycle you'll see more and more clearly that your OCD and your "real" conscience are two different things. You'll be able to differentiate between them. Right now you feel like you can't. But deep down, you really do know the difference. It's just that at the moment, your brain is making you confuse your OCD for your conscience.
One thing that has helped me, when I'm really obsessing, is to set deadlines for myself. "I'm not sure if this is OCD, but I'll treat it as OCD for a day/week/etc." You can even do very short time limits if you need to - an hour, a half hour, whatever. The key is to keep pushing your limits as much as you can. Try cutting out one type of compulsion, or delaying a compulsion for a certain time period. Any step you can take against OCD will help.
One final note: Asking for reassurance is also a compulsion. That means asking about the same thing over and over again, from different angles. OCD will NEVER let us feel at rest about something. It will always think of some other angle - "But WHAT IF....?? What if the video really was a sign, because of XYZ??" (to use one of your examples). Now, I have OCD myself, so I totally get it and I don't mind you asking about something even if you've asked about it before. BUT I just want you to realize that this is a compulsion, something your OCD is getting you to do in order to relieve your anxiety, and one way that you can show your OCD that you have power over it is to refuse it in this area as well. So, if you've already asked about something and gotten the answer that it's OCD, try to refuse to ask again even when OCD comes up with another "what if" scenario. (Like I said, I don't mind at all, but if you have parents or other people that you keep asking, this might be something to consider. Reassurance seeking was one of my main compulsions for a lot of my obsessive themes, so I put my poor parents through a lot LOL).
I hope this helps! If you have more questions just ask!!!

Blessed Each Day · Oct 18, 2017

~Ivy~ said:
Thanks so much!! My friend sent that vid right when I started worrying that I was going to make that vow. And I really don't know if that was sent as a sign or a coincidence or just something that has caused me to make this account. But I worry that I will feel like it was sent as a sign and I'm pretty sure that any feelings that it is, is false. I'm worried that because I don't totally know whether it was sent as a sign or not, I will purposely or accidentally make that vow, thinking God wants me to do that. But I just don't know if He does or not. I'm kinda shaken up by the vid and I really don't want to take that vow.

Of course! @Mari17 provided an extremely useful way to help deal with these thoughts as they come to you, but again all this trepidation to towards whether you should or shouldn't sounds like it could mean you should just take time to contemplate; don't rush into anything. God doesn't send us thoughts like, "If this happens then it MUST mean this." By "this" I mean something irrational like the famous "stepping on a crack." That's just not how He communicates His will for us to be done. I would highly, highly recommend you look over the posts of @Mari17 as they are really helpful in how to deal with those thoughts springing from OCD. I hope the Lord gives you strength and clarity to deal with your struggle, and that He gives you patience to seek and listen to His guidance

~Ivy~ · Oct 18, 2017

Mari17 said:
You may need to give me some clarification about what type of "answer" you're looking for. I'll attempt to give some more detail here but feel free to ask more questions if I didn't address it satisfactorily. Basically, your OCD is not going to let you rest. So, it will keep making you think that the video was a sign, that you should make a vow, that your mind is going to "accidentally" make the vow, etc., etc. The bummer with OCD is that in order to fight it, you have to take a risk and assume it's OCD, because you'll never know for sure. Because OCD specializes in making us feel confused. So, an example plan for handling this issue would be this:
1. I can't tell for sure if this is OCD, but it feels like it is, so I need to treat it like that. (One thing I've found helpful, an idea I borrowed from Jackie Lea Sommers, is to ask God to cover me by His grace IF I'm making a mistake by treating it as OCD. It always turns out to be OCD anyway, but that prayer still helps me be able to take that risk of identifying the issue as OCD).
2. I have to say no to ANY compulsions that stem from the OCD. That means allowing myself to do all the stuff my OCD is telling me not to do. It also means not blocking the thoughts, asking forgiveness for them, telling God I didn't mean them, etc.
3. Let the thoughts come, realizing that they don't have any real meaning. They're just your OCD, throwing rocks or rotten tomatoes or whatever you want to visualize at you, trying to get you to respond. Every time you respond in fear, by freaking out or performing one of your compulsions, that's a point for OCD. Every time you say "No, I don't think so," to OCD and refuse to obey it, no matter how much you hurt, that's a point for you, and you shrink its power over you. Eventually, if it sees you're continuing to not respond, it stops throwing stuff at you altogether. So, when a thought comes, you just tell yourself "That's a rotten tomato. That's a meaningless thought from my OCD." Let it splat against you. Don't clean it off. Don't respond at all. Let OCD do its thing. It will take awhile, but eventually it will get tired of not getting a response and give up. It's weaker than you think! (Sorry, weird analogy. I like making up strange analogies for OCD because it helps me visualize it better.)
Is this going to be easy? No way. It will hurt like everything, because it feels like you're "giving in" to the thoughts when you don't respond to them. You have to ignore that feeling too. Do what hurts - the opposite of whatever OCD is telling you to do. If it's telling you to respond to the thoughts, to tell God that you didn't mean it, just in case you really DID mean it - ignore it. If it's telling you not to do such-and-such because you might be making a vow - do it. Laugh in its face, and be openly defiant of it. You'll probably continue to be confused by thoughts, feeling like they might not be OCD. You have to keep treating them like OCD. As you come up out of the cycle you'll see more and more clearly that your OCD and your "real" conscience are two different things. You'll be able to differentiate between them. Right now you feel like you can't. But deep down, you really do know the difference. It's just that at the moment, your brain is making you confuse your OCD for your conscience.
One thing that has helped me, when I'm really obsessing, is to set deadlines for myself. "I'm not sure if this is OCD, but I'll treat it as OCD for a day/week/etc." You can even do very short time limits if you need to - an hour, a half hour, whatever. The key is to keep pushing your limits as much as you can. Try cutting out one type of compulsion, or delaying a compulsion for a certain time period. Any step you can take against OCD will help.
One final note: Asking for reassurance is also a compulsion. That means asking about the same thing over and over again, from different angles. OCD will NEVER let us feel at rest about something. It will always think of some other angle - "But WHAT IF....?? What if the video really was a sign, because of XYZ??" (to use one of your examples). Now, I have OCD myself, so I totally get it and I don't mind you asking about something even if you've asked about it before. BUT I just want you to realize that this is a compulsion, something your OCD is getting you to do in order to relieve your anxiety, and one way that you can show your OCD that you have power over it is to refuse it in this area as well. So, if you've already asked about something and gotten the answer that it's OCD, try to refuse to ask again even when OCD comes up with another "what if" scenario. (Like I said, I don't mind at all, but if you have parents or other people that you keep asking, this might be something to consider. Reassurance seeking was one of my main compulsions for a lot of my obsessive themes, so I put my poor parents through a lot LOL).
I hope this helps! If you have more questions just ask!!!

Thank you!!! Yes, I'm already confused on whether I feel like it's a sign or not. Last night I felt like it wasn't and OCD started making me feel like it was but now it kinda feels maybe like it does? But that might be my OCD. I don't know. :o My mind keeps asking the question: Was God trying to tell me that I should make that vow? It was right after you started worrying about it. And things like that. I'll think nah it's nothing but a video and then I'll think again but it was right after you started worrying. :o but I really don't know whether God wants me to do something

I really am against becoming a nun so I don't know why He would try to call me to do that through a video. @Blessed Each Day said that I would just know if God called me and I really don't know so I guess He hasn't? (Sorry If I'm totally going off on tangents) I'll try not to ask the same questions over and over again (sorry if I did) I'm just so confused on whether God sent a sign to me or if it was for some other purpose. :o

~Ivy~ · Oct 18, 2017

Mari17 said:
You may need to give me some clarification about what type of "answer" you're looking for. I'll attempt to give some more detail here but feel free to ask more questions if I didn't address it satisfactorily. Basically, your OCD is not going to let you rest. So, it will keep making you think that the video was a sign, that you should make a vow, that your mind is going to "accidentally" make the vow, etc., etc. The bummer with OCD is that in order to fight it, you have to take a risk and assume it's OCD, because you'll never know for sure. Because OCD specializes in making us feel confused. So, an example plan for handling this issue would be this:
1. I can't tell for sure if this is OCD, but it feels like it is, so I need to treat it like that. (One thing I've found helpful, an idea I borrowed from Jackie Lea Sommers, is to ask God to cover me by His grace IF I'm making a mistake by treating it as OCD. It always turns out to be OCD anyway, but that prayer still helps me be able to take that risk of identifying the issue as OCD).
2. I have to say no to ANY compulsions that stem from the OCD. That means allowing myself to do all the stuff my OCD is telling me not to do. It also means not blocking the thoughts, asking forgiveness for them, telling God I didn't mean them, etc.
3. Let the thoughts come, realizing that they don't have any real meaning. They're just your OCD, throwing rocks or rotten tomatoes or whatever you want to visualize at you, trying to get you to respond. Every time you respond in fear, by freaking out or performing one of your compulsions, that's a point for OCD. Every time you say "No, I don't think so," to OCD and refuse to obey it, no matter how much you hurt, that's a point for you, and you shrink its power over you. Eventually, if it sees you're continuing to not respond, it stops throwing stuff at you altogether. So, when a thought comes, you just tell yourself "That's a rotten tomato. That's a meaningless thought from my OCD." Let it splat against you. Don't clean it off. Don't respond at all. Let OCD do its thing. It will take awhile, but eventually it will get tired of not getting a response and give up. It's weaker than you think! (Sorry, weird analogy. I like making up strange analogies for OCD because it helps me visualize it better.)
Is this going to be easy? No way. It will hurt like everything, because it feels like you're "giving in" to the thoughts when you don't respond to them. You have to ignore that feeling too. Do what hurts - the opposite of whatever OCD is telling you to do. If it's telling you to respond to the thoughts, to tell God that you didn't mean it, just in case you really DID mean it - ignore it. If it's telling you not to do such-and-such because you might be making a vow - do it. Laugh in its face, and be openly defiant of it. You'll probably continue to be confused by thoughts, feeling like they might not be OCD. You have to keep treating them like OCD. As you come up out of the cycle you'll see more and more clearly that your OCD and your "real" conscience are two different things. You'll be able to differentiate between them. Right now you feel like you can't. But deep down, you really do know the difference. It's just that at the moment, your brain is making you confuse your OCD for your conscience.
One thing that has helped me, when I'm really obsessing, is to set deadlines for myself. "I'm not sure if this is OCD, but I'll treat it as OCD for a day/week/etc." You can even do very short time limits if you need to - an hour, a half hour, whatever. The key is to keep pushing your limits as much as you can. Try cutting out one type of compulsion, or delaying a compulsion for a certain time period. Any step you can take against OCD will help.
One final note: Asking for reassurance is also a compulsion. That means asking about the same thing over and over again, from different angles. OCD will NEVER let us feel at rest about something. It will always think of some other angle - "But WHAT IF....?? What if the video really was a sign, because of XYZ??" (to use one of your examples). Now, I have OCD myself, so I totally get it and I don't mind you asking about something even if you've asked about it before. BUT I just want you to realize that this is a compulsion, something your OCD is getting you to do in order to relieve your anxiety, and one way that you can show your OCD that you have power over it is to refuse it in this area as well. So, if you've already asked about something and gotten the answer that it's OCD, try to refuse to ask again even when OCD comes up with another "what if" scenario. (Like I said, I don't mind at all, but if you have parents or other people that you keep asking, this might be something to consider. Reassurance seeking was one of my main compulsions for a lot of my obsessive themes, so I put my poor parents through a lot LOL).
I hope this helps! If you have more questions just ask!!!

Also now it kinda feels like maybe God is asking me to become a nun? I'm into makeup and I do have trouble with lust and stuff unfortunately (trying to work on that). And I just read an abridged version of John Calvin's Institutes of Christian Religion for school and it did convict me and make me want to change my life some (like truly put others first before ourselves; I also about how the life of a Christian is about self-denial and haha now I'm wondering if God is saying give up your entire life!) but not to the point of becoming a nun or anything. I feel like I could glorify God more in the world and not in a convent (please excuse me if I'm making assumptions on nuns or anything like that). Now I'm super confused. I don't know if this is OCD or not because OCD is reallllllyyyyy good at tricking me sometimes. Like I'll really truly think I'll want to do something when I don't. Sometimes I feel like because of my anxiety that I'm in a dream state and I have to get out of it and back into reality. Like I'll feel like God is calling me to become a nun when I have all this anxiety about it (and when I OCD I constantly OCD so I don't really have that much time to rest) but in reality God isn't. I don't know any more especially cause I'm thinking might be God calling me because of outside influences not just me. But it could be my OCD just poking at me saying, "What if it was a sign, cause of XYZ" like you said and making me think it is and stuff. I just don't want to make a vow I totally regret later. I'm lost aghhh :o

Blessed Each Day · Oct 18, 2017

Absolutely, we glorify God by helping others, and this always goes hand-in-hand with self-denial. Self-denial is just putting someone else's needs/interests before your own. If my neighbor needs my help fixing his deck, I could say no and continue watching the football game, but that's not at all what God wants, and is a blatant rejection of what he does want from us. I would say, "Sure, give me a second and I'll be right over." I'm taking time out of my day that could be used for something else (self-denial) to help someone (putting others first.) Sometimes it's spontaneous, but often times God will call us to go out and actively seek where we can be of help to others.

With respect to your thoughts, you just need to know that the oft-recurring ones are generally OCD making an unwelcome visit, and cleanse yourself of them and what they are telling you to do. Before you ever act on those thoughts, ask God for guidance, and for forgiveness if you've made the wrong choice; we all get mixed up and make wrong choices, but we just ask God for forgiveness and to guide us moving forward, knowing it was all meant to set us on our path. I'm sorry for your anxiety, I know as I have GAD/OCD myself, but you really have to take a step back, breathe deep, and tell yourself that God is in control. Try and slow your breathing down, your heart rate will decrease, and reassure yourself that God is in control, because we don't know what we're doing without His help. His love should assuage any anxiety you have (I know that's easier said than done) but anxiety is a temporary state, often changing in intensity and duration, but you have to be active in combating it; slow, deep breathes and reassurance that God is guiding you.

~Ivy~ · Oct 18, 2017

Blessed Each Day said:
Absolutely, we glorify God by helping others, and this always goes hand-in-hand with self-denial. Self-denial is just putting someone else's needs/interests before your own. If my neighbor needs my help fixing his deck, I could say no and continue watching the football game, but that's not at all what God wants, and is a blatant rejection of what he does want from us. I would say, "Sure, give me a second and I'll be right over." I'm taking time out of my day that could be used for something else (self-denial) to help someone (putting others first.) Sometimes it's spontaneous, but often times God will call us to go out and actively seek where we can be of help to others.

With respect to your thoughts, you just need to know that the oft-recurring ones are generally OCD making an unwelcome visit, and cleanse yourself of them and what they are telling you to do. Before you ever act on those thoughts, ask God for guidance, and for forgiveness if you've made the wrong choice; we all get mixed up and make wrong choices, but we just ask God for forgiveness and to guide us moving forward, knowing it was all meant to set us on our path. I'm sorry for your anxiety, I know as I have GAD/OCD myself, but you really have to take a step back, breathe deep, and tell yourself that God is in control. Try and slow your breathing down, your heart rate will decrease, and reassure yourself that God is in control, because we don't know what we're doing without His help. His love should assuage any anxiety you have (I know that's easier said than done) but anxiety is a temporary state, often changing in intensity and duration, but you have to be active in combating it; slow, deep breathes and reassurance that God is guiding you.

Thank you!! I will try to slow my breathing down in the midst of an anxiety attack. I think I'll treat this all as OCD thoughts even though I'm kind of confused on whether it is or not. And yes, I shall pray for guidance because I really need it.

also I'm praying for your GAD/OCD too.

So update: Now I have some sort of feeling of peace and feel more open to becoming a nun or something but I feel the same way with becoming a missionary or just serving God in some way. But honestly I'm not sure if I have this feeling of peace because I put what I thought might be His desires (perhaps becoming a nun) before my own or if it's just from OCD, or if it's actually peace with being open to becoming a nun. Now I feel like they could be my own desires (I also feel the same way about becoming a missionary or something of that sort). I just don't know and am more confused. But I'm holding off on making a vow and I am not sure if I'm actually okay with being open to becoming a nun or something because I've had a history of feeling like I truly want to do something that I don't. It could be a fake feeling of peace--I don't know. :o Also I had a compulsion sorry, and I looked up how to know if God is wanting you to become a nun and on a website I found that one of the signs that God could be calling you to become a nun is being okay with becoming a nun after being against becoming a nun and then I kinda got a shock of anxiety. :o How do I know if God is calling me? ---this site. So now I'm feeling even more convinced it could be something else...

but I feel peace when I think about being a missionary too so I'm confused.

discipler7 · Oct 18, 2017

@ Ivy

If you are on long term medication for OCD, do not skip your medication because horrible withdrawal symptoms will follow.

OCD medication should be anti-anxiety pills that sedate or calm the mind and relaxes the muscles. Skipping the pills for a day or 2 or 3 will result in the mind going in the opposite direction, ie being uncalm and have an over-active mind, eg suffer anxiety, insomnia, OCD, speeding thoughts, paranoia, hallucination(hearing weird noises), muscle spasms, etc.

Drug medication dependency or addiction is similar to a Type 2 diabetic with damaged pancreas being addicted or dependent on artificial insulin daily.

Blessed Each Day · Oct 18, 2017

Of course, and thank you for your prayers! Yes, the "beauty" of OCD is how ambiguous the thoughts it creates can seem. Yeah, and I'm sure my advice is contributing to the confusion, and I'm sorry if it is, but are your thoughts like, "I'm not doing right if I don't become a nun" or things like that? I don't think that's how he'll call you (I'm no expert) but it feels something that you'll be pulled towards but not in a way that causes such trepidation *enter OCD*. Being a missionary also brings great glory to God, but remember you can serve God every day by helping others when you can, and furthering your knowledge of His Word. You've got all these thoughts flying around, it's easy to get confused by ANY of them, but in the end just know that if you want to become a nun, that's great, but God won't stop loving you if you don't become a nun or a missionary. Again, if you feel called to these by a true and natural calling, that's awesome! You shouldn't be called by arbitrary actions that your mind automatically correlates with God telling you to do something, that's the OCD not minding its own business!

~Ivy~ · Oct 18, 2017

discipler7 said:
@ Ivy

If you are on long term medication for OCD, do not skip your medication because horrible withdrawal symptoms will follow.

OCD medication should be anti-anxiety pills that sedate or calm the mind and relaxes the muscles. Skipping the pills for a day or 2 or 3 will result in the mind going in the opposite direction, ie being uncalm and have an over-active mind, eg suffer anxiety, insomnia, OCD, speeding thoughts, paranoia, hallucination(hearing weird noises), muscle spasms, etc.

Drug medication dependency or addiction is similar to a Type 2 diabetic with damaged pancreas being addicted or dependent on artificial insulin daily.

I'm not on any medication and have never been on any meds for OCD.

Mari17 · Oct 19, 2017

~Ivy~ said:
Thank you!! I will try to slow my breathing down in the midst of an anxiety attack. I think I'll treat this all as OCD thoughts even though I'm kind of confused on whether it is or not. And yes, I shall pray for guidance because I really need it. also I'm praying for your GAD/OCD too. So update: Now I have some sort of feeling of peace and feel more open to becoming a nun or something but I feel the same way with becoming a missionary or just serving God in some way. But honestly I'm not sure if I have this feeling of peace because I put what I thought might be His desires (perhaps becoming a nun) before my own or if it's just from OCD, or if it's actually peace with being open to becoming a nun. Now I feel like they could be my own desires (I also feel the same way about becoming a missionary or something of that sort). I just don't know and am more confused. But I'm holding off on making a vow and I am not sure if I'm actually okay with being open to becoming a nun or something because I've had a history of feeling like I truly want to do something that I don't. It could be a fake feeling of peace--I don't know. Also I had a compulsion sorry, and I looked up how to know if God is wanting you to become a nun and on a website I found that one of the signs that God could be calling you to become a nun is being okay with becoming a nun after being against becoming a nun and then I kinda got a shock of anxiety. How do I know if God is calling me? ---this site. So now I'm feeling even more convinced it could be something else... but I feel peace when I think about being a missionary too so I'm confused.

"I think I'll treat this all as OCD thoughts even though I'm kind of confused on whether it is or not." I love this!! That is exactly how we have to operate when we have OCD. We're never sure, and usually we have to "guess." A good rule of thumb to use is to not to make any decision unless you KNOW OCD is not playing a part. If you're trying to figure out whether or not it's OCD, treat it as OCD. The hard thing with OCD is that we have to risk "disobeying God" (which really turns out to be just disobeying OCD, but at the time it feels like disobeying God) in order to say no to the OCD and get better. You won't get victory over OCD until you first wade through the anxiety that comes with saying no to it. It stinks, but that's the way it is. The plus side is that it makes you a stronger person in the end.

It's really good that you recognize your compulsions. Of course you'll make mistakes and give into them, but do your best not to. I know how you feel because a LOT of my obsessions center around "good" things that I feel God might want me to do. The difference is, when I'm obsessing about it, I just feel like I have to do it out of a sense of dread, obligation, and fear. I'm overanalyzing so much that I can't see clearly, but the OCD makes me think I have to figure it out RIGHT NOW. I don't. The truth is, it's only the OCD that's making me think it's that urgent of an issue. Basically, what I would advise you to do is refuse to try to figure out this problem. Don't try to figure out your feelings, whether you want to become a nun/missionary, whether God is calling you to it, any of that. When you're obsessing, you CANNOT think clearly. All you'll do is keep going over and over and over this issue, without ever coming to a resolution. Trust me, I've been there. You have to refuse to engage with the thoughts at all. If it raises your anxiety to ignore them, talk back to your OCD. Sometimes I say things like "Yeah, that's a pretty troublesome/confusing/whatever thought. But I'm not going to fight it off or try to figure it out, because it's OCD. Guess I'll just have to be miserable and anxious for awhile. Sucks to be me." You have to take this attitude of a kind of resignation. You have to accept that you WILL be miserable, until the OCD gets tired of jabbing at you. It's EXHAUSTING, but just keep riding it through. Although OCD does not stem from a spiritual issue, sometimes I like to think of it in terms of temptation because it helps me to fight it off. "OCD is trying to tempt me to worry right now. I'm not going to let it. I'm just going to ignore it and whatever it's telling me to do." If it tells you lies, pretend to give into it. If it says "If you ignore this, you're disobeying God!" say "Yep, then I guess I am. I'm a terrible person." That takes OCD by surprise because it's expecting you to fight off the scary thoughts. When you just repeat them back to the OCD, it's not sure what to do. Keep doing this enough, and you'll find its power weakening.

Wow, I feel like that's enough info for now. Keep coming back with questions, or for support, as needed. This disorder can be really frustrating and confusing, but it does NOT have to be debilitating. We are our own worst enemies....we usually know what to do in order to get better (stop listening to the fear), but it takes a LOT of courage to do it. It feels wrong to have to make our consciences LESS sensitive, but we're not doing away with our consciences, just bringing them back to a normal level. In actuality, we're way more effective for God when our OCD does not have control over us, because we're able to make clear, wise decisions and we're healthy enough to serve God in every area of our lives instead of focusing too much on one part of it (and taking up all our time and energy worrying about it).

Also, here are links to two related articles that I've found extremely helpful, and I think they apply well to your situation. There are lots of other great posts on this site, though not all of them may be relevant to you. But you may want to check out the info about OCD and the blog:
http://ocdandchristianity.com/?p=608
http://ocdandchristianity.com/?p=610

gloriousday2006 · Oct 19, 2017

Ivy, I am praying for you. I have thought about you throughout the day today and know just how challenging OCD can be. The Lord loves you, and you can get through all things with him.

My OCD started in my teenage years, and I didn't even know what it was. I have faced many of the same struggles as you. You can get through all things with Christ. There are so many of us on here struggling with similar things. You are alone. I will continue to pray for you. Please contact me if you ever need to talk. God bless you.

discipler7 · Oct 20, 2017

@ Ivy

Children of alcoholics and drug addicts also suffer from withdrawal symptoms if they are not given the drugs, eg crack-babies and meth-babies. ...
What the "Crack Baby" Panic Reveals About The Opioid Epidemic

Mari17 · Oct 20, 2017

discipler7 said:
@ Ivy

Children of alcoholics and drug addicts also suffer from withdrawal symptoms if they are not given the drugs, eg crack-babies and meth-babies. ...
What the "Crack Baby" Panic Reveals About The Opioid Epidemic

I think she said she is not on medication therefore this is not relevant to her situation.

~Ivy~ · Oct 21, 2017

Mari17 said:
"I think I'll treat this all as OCD thoughts even though I'm kind of confused on whether it is or not." I love this!! That is exactly how we have to operate when we have OCD. We're never sure, and usually we have to "guess." A good rule of thumb to use is to not to make any decision unless you KNOW OCD is not playing a part. If you're trying to figure out whether or not it's OCD, treat it as OCD. The hard thing with OCD is that we have to risk "disobeying God" (which really turns out to be just disobeying OCD, but at the time it feels like disobeying God) in order to say no to the OCD and get better. You won't get victory over OCD until you first wade through the anxiety that comes with saying no to it. It stinks, but that's the way it is. The plus side is that it makes you a stronger person in the end. It's really good that you recognize your compulsions. Of course you'll make mistakes and give into them, but do your best not to. I know how you feel because a LOT of my obsessions center around "good" things that I feel God might want me to do. The difference is, when I'm obsessing about it, I just feel like I have to do it out of a sense of dread, obligation, and fear. I'm overanalyzing so much that I can't see clearly, but the OCD makes me think I have to figure it out RIGHT NOW. I don't. The truth is, it's only the OCD that's making me think it's that urgent of an issue. Basically, what I would advise you to do is refuse to try to figure out this problem. Don't try to figure out your feelings, whether you want to become a nun/missionary, whether God is calling you to it, any of that. When you're obsessing, you CANNOT think clearly. All you'll do is keep going over and over and over this issue, without ever coming to a resolution. Trust me, I've been there. You have to refuse to engage with the thoughts at all. If it raises your anxiety to ignore them, talk back to your OCD. Sometimes I say things like "Yeah, that's a pretty troublesome/confusing/whatever thought. But I'm not going to fight it off or try to figure it out, because it's OCD. Guess I'll just have to be miserable and anxious for awhile. Sucks to be me." You have to take this attitude of a kind of resignation. You have to accept that you WILL be miserable, until the OCD gets tired of jabbing at you. It's EXHAUSTING, but just keep riding it through. Although OCD does not stem from a spiritual issue, sometimes I like to think of it in terms of temptation because it helps me to fight it off. "OCD is trying to tempt me to worry right now. I'm not going to let it. I'm just going to ignore it and whatever it's telling me to do." If it tells you lies, pretend to give into it. If it says "If you ignore this, you're disobeying God!" say "Yep, then I guess I am. I'm a terrible person." That takes OCD by surprise because it's expecting you to fight off the scary thoughts. When you just repeat them back to the OCD, it's not sure what to do. Keep doing this enough, and you'll find its power weakening.

Wow, I feel like that's enough info for now. Keep coming back with questions, or for support, as needed. This disorder can be really frustrating and confusing, but it does NOT have to be debilitating. We are our own worst enemies....we usually know what to do in order to get better (stop listening to the fear), but it takes a LOT of courage to do it. It feels wrong to have to make our consciences LESS sensitive, but we're not doing away with our consciences, just bringing them back to a normal level. In actuality, we're way more effective for God when our OCD does not have control over us, because we're able to make clear, wise decisions and we're healthy enough to serve God in every area of our lives instead of focusing too much on one part of it (and taking up all our time and energy worrying about it).

Also, here are links to two related articles that I've found extremely helpful, and I think they apply well to your situation. There are lots of other great posts on this site, though not all of them may be relevant to you. But you may want to check out the info about OCD and the blog:
http://ocdandchristianity.com/?p=608
http://ocdandchristianity.com/?p=610

Thank you so much!

I'm actually having another obsession right now and it's even worse than this one. But actually it's kind of this one and the other one.

Please pray I stay strong and in my weakness, God gives me strength.

~Ivy~ · Oct 21, 2017

gloriousday2006 said:
Ivy, I am praying for you. I have thought about you throughout the day today and know just how challenging OCD can be. The Lord loves you, and you can get through all things with him.

My OCD started in my teenage years, and I didn't even know what it was. I have faced many of the same struggles as you. You can get through all things with Christ. There are so many of us on here struggling with similar things. You are alone. I will continue to pray for you. Please contact me if you ever need to talk. God bless you.

Thank you!! This is so encouraging

Thank you for thinking of me and praying for me

I really need it haha

God bless you too

~Ivy~ · Oct 21, 2017

So idk if this a compulsion: If I say to myself "if I do this, then I will do this"---is that a vow? I don't want to say to myself that stuff but it just pops into my mind as an idea but when I just ignore it then it feels like I'm bound to it or it feels like I mean it. Or is what I have said the same thing @Blessed Each Day said is just OCD earlier? Sorry if it is or if I'm completely repeating myself. :o

I need help

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