• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

Please give some advice on this matter that I have been struggling with!

James Sey

New Member
Oct 8, 2017
2
5
28
London
✟8,261.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Pentecostal
Marital Status
Single
I am a teen youth Pentecostal male youth that has a fetish for female domination and rope bondage. I like watching videos of women tying up men. This fetish has been around for several years and have had bouts of trying not to go the website to watch such videos. I have sometimes gone almost a month without watching then get the sudden urge and succumb to temptation of watching them again. I have asked for repentance many times and I was even baptised last month and I still couldn’t help myself once again and watched another video just a few days ago. <staff edit> I have been struggling for a long time. I just feel bad because I am struggling to stop. Please help if you can. God bless!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Greg Merrill

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Apr 5, 2017
3,536
4,621
70
Las Vegas
✟319,724.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
Advice. Make sure you are saved. 2 Corinthians 13:5. Make sure you understand what the Bible says about how to be saved, and the assurance of salvation. Ephesians 2:8-10. Get into a church that teaches the Bible correctly.
(Much could be said about that, that you obviously don't know.) Fight the battle of this addiction like a military battle. Prepare for the fight, equip yourself for the fight, determine to win the fight, realizing some battles may be lost, but not the war. Learn and apply Ephesians 6:10-20. Build pre-planned safeguards for when temptation comes. Learn not to think about entering into sin, but to respond positively the moment temptation comes. Starve yourself from all negative videos. Don't watch any of them at all that are harmful. Guard against all stimulants, TV programming, movies, internet, that would feed the desire to watch these videos. Turn them off when them come on. Replace them with good thoughts, good actions, good viewing material immediately. Find someone to be accountable to that you can report on your progress frequently.
Strengthen your spirit with much Bible reading, memorizing scripture, praying often through the day. Write down your battle plans, and your progress reports. Encourage yourself in the Lord, 1 Samuel 30:6. Make sure you desire victory with all your heart, and ask God to feed that desire. Make a note to this advice and review this advice daily until it becomes a part of You.
Add to this advice what you yourself think will help. Take the practical steps daily to get in the routine of being on guard, prepared, and victorious. God will be with You (1 Chronicles 28:20).
 
Upvote 0

disciple1

Newbie
Aug 1, 2012
2,168
546
✟61,978.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
I am a teen youth Pentecostal male youth that has a fetish for female domination and rope bondage. I like watching videos of women tying up men. This fetish has been around for several years and have had bouts of trying not to go the website to watch such videos. I have sometimes gone almost a month without watching then get the sudden urge and succumb to temptation of watching them again. I have asked for repentance many times and I was even baptised last month and I still couldn’t help myself once again and watched another video just a few days ago. Should I get re-baptised? What does one do in my situation? I heard fetishes are even okay as you long as you keep them within a loving marriage. Obviously I am not married, so is that what makes it sinful? I only watch videos, but still. I have been struggling for a long time. I just feel bad because I am struggling to stop. Please help if you can. God bless!
Proverbs chapter 10 verse 12
Love covers all wrongs.

1 Peter chapter 4 verse 8
Love covers a great many sins.

Matthew chapter 21
32 For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.
Luke chapter 3

7 John said to the crowds coming out to be baptized by him, “You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? 8 Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. 9 The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.”

10 “What should we do then?” the crowd asked.

11 John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.”

12 Even tax collectors came to be baptized. “Teacher,” they asked, “what should we do?”

13 “Don’t collect any more than you are required to,” he told them.

14 Then some soldiers asked him, “And what should we do?”

He replied, “Don’t extort money and don’t accuse people falsely—be content with your pay.”
 
Upvote 0

salt-n-light

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Aug 8, 2017
2,607
2,526
32
Rosedale
✟165,859.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
I am a teen youth Pentecostal male youth that has a fetish for female domination and rope bondage. I like watching videos of women tying up men. This fetish has been around for several years and have had bouts of trying not to go the website to watch such videos. I have sometimes gone almost a month without watching then get the sudden urge and succumb to temptation of watching them again. I have asked for repentance many times and I was even baptised last month and I still couldn’t help myself once again and watched another video just a few days ago. Should I get re-baptised? What does one do in my situation? I heard fetishes are even okay as you long as you keep them within a loving marriage. Obviously I am not married, so is that what makes it sinful? I only watch videos, but still. I have been struggling for a long time. I just feel bad because I am struggling to stop. Please help if you can. God bless!

Prayers for you!

What I love about writing down/typing feelings is that often times we can go back and literally trace where our patterns and ah ha moments and prominents ideas are. So Ill just break down what you said.

Part One- The Background
"I am a teen youth Pentecostal male youth that has a fetish for female domination and rope bondage. I like watching videos of women tying up men."- Hi, I have a sexual desire.
"This fetish has been around for several years and have had bouts of trying not to go the website to watch such videos."- ...Its a sexual desire that became a habit.
" I have sometimes gone almost a month without watching then get the sudden urge and succumb to temptation of watching them again."-...this habitual sexual desire that have now is becoming an addiction.

Part Two-The Remedy
"I have asked for repentance many times and I was even baptised last month and I still couldn’t help myself once again and watched another video just a few days ago. Should I get re-baptised? What does one do in my situation?"- ...I've tried to DIY the situation through spiritual means, but nothing seems to be "curing" this situation.
"I heard fetishes are even okay as you long as you keep them within a loving marriage. Obviously I am not married, so is that what makes it sinful?"- ...Since I'm not "cured", maybe its not so bad?
"I only watch videos, but still. I have been struggling for a long time. I just feel bad because I am struggling to stop."- ...IDK from what I've been taught, its something bad, and I feel bad, but I don't know if I can ever be cured of it, I just like it and its a part of me.

So now I'm gonna put it together. Its probably more of less your deeper feelings, and maybe I made it sound too abrasive or blunt, but this has helped me with my sexual desires. To be brutally honest with myself. That is the first step. So here it is:

Hi, I have a sexual desire.Its a sexual desire that became a habit.This habitual sexual desire that have now is becoming an addiction. I've tried to DIY the situation through spiritual means, but nothing seems to be curing this situation. Since I'm not "cured", maybe its not so bad? IDK from what I've been taught, its something bad, and I feel bad, but I don't know if I can ever be cured of it, I just like it and its a part of me.

I can say "stop watching those things" or "you need to pray harder", DIY answers.Plenty of scriptures about dangers of lust, how sin affects sexuality, how sexual sin affects identity and the consequences in entertaining it whether in deeds or in thoughts.That's all head knowledge, what will actually help you the way you actually want to be help, is to understand it on a spiritual level. On surface, its merely a fetish issue, but the root is an identity issue.Its dealing with a desire that you see being/becoming a part of you.

One scripture that has helped me, strangely, is Matthew 16:24.

Your purpose above all else is to find your identity, your desires, your mind in Christ. How you do it is not through works, baptism is not gonna cleanse you, rationalizing it is not gonna help you grow, and entertaining it is not gonna help you overcome it. How to truly overcome it, to truly not identify with it, will take for you to know who you are in God, and what that desire is for what it is, so that you can make those distinctions and address it accordingly. So the first step, put whatever thing you identify with aside, and ask God what He wants from you. Seek Him out through the Word, talk to Him in prayer, whatever question you have about how you're feeling, and anything else in mind.He will reveal Himself to you. Healing is a painful, long, and exhausting process, but OH MAN IT IS WORTH IT, you will see everything in a much better light, and you won't feel defeated even if it does arise. Because you will no longer identify, or have an attachment to it.

Deny yourself. Pick up your cross. Follow Him.
 
Upvote 0

Tolworth John

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Mar 10, 2017
8,278
4,680
68
Tolworth
✟369,559.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
I am a teen youth Pentecostal male youth that has a fetish for female domination and rope bondage. I like watching videos of women tying up men.
Set your firewall/antiviruse so that it does not recognise inappropriate content. Do this on all internet devices.
If your parents controll the firewall talk to them about setting blocks for yourself.
You don't have to admit to a problem, just that you've discovered it is possible to access inappropriate content and don't want to accidentaly start viewing it.

Then it is case of going through cold turkey and breaking the habit.
 
Upvote 0

Kristen.NewCreation

Well-Known Member
Jul 11, 2007
39,108
4,257
Visit site
✟303,894.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Admin Hat

This thread has been cleaned for the move to Struggles with Sexuality.

Please note, this forum is for support of the OP. Please read the Statement of Purpose for the forum before posting here.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Joe 73

Active Member
Jul 30, 2017
116
62
25
Michigan
✟36,555.00
Country
United States
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Single
I am a teen youth Pentecostal male youth that has a fetish for female domination and rope bondage. I like watching videos of women tying up men. This fetish has been around for several years and have had bouts of trying not to go the website to watch such videos. I have sometimes gone almost a month without watching then get the sudden urge and succumb to temptation of watching them again. I have asked for repentance many times and I was even baptised last month and I still couldn’t help myself once again and watched another video just a few days ago. <staff edit> I have been struggling for a long time. I just feel bad because I am struggling to stop. Please help if you can. God bless!

Exploring in therapy couldn't hurt. Since it is intrusively bothering you against your will, there is probably some strong emotions going on behind it, Like extreme, extreme insecurity, or shame. For example, you might feel terrible for being sexually interested in women, and think they would find you creepy, and you try to resolve that by taking the blame off yourself, but still getting what you want(I didn't approach her, she restrained me, so its not my fault). Just one possibility. Point is therapy might help. It did for my SSAs.
 
Upvote 0