I am a teen youth Pentecostal male youth that has a fetish for female domination and rope bondage. I like watching videos of women tying up men. This fetish has been around for several years and have had bouts of trying not to go the website to watch such videos. I have sometimes gone almost a month without watching then get the sudden urge and succumb to temptation of watching them again. I have asked for repentance many times and I was even baptised last month and I still couldn’t help myself once again and watched another video just a few days ago. Should I get re-baptised? What does one do in my situation? I heard fetishes are even okay as you long as you keep them within a loving marriage. Obviously I am not married, so is that what makes it sinful? I only watch videos, but still. I have been struggling for a long time. I just feel bad because I am struggling to stop. Please help if you can. God bless!
Prayers for you!
What I love about writing down/typing feelings is that often times we can go back and literally trace where our patterns and ah ha moments and prominents ideas are. So Ill just break down what you said.
Part One- The Background
"I am a teen youth Pentecostal male youth that has a fetish for female domination and rope bondage. I like watching videos of women tying up men."- Hi, I have a sexual desire.
"This fetish has been around for several years and have had bouts of trying not to go the website to watch such videos."- ...
Its a sexual desire that became a habit.
" I have sometimes gone almost a month without watching then get the sudden urge and succumb to temptation of watching them again."-
...this habitual sexual desire that have now is becoming an addiction.
Part Two-The Remedy
"I have asked for repentance many times and I was even baptised last month and I still couldn’t help myself once again and watched another video just a few days ago. Should I get re-baptised? What does one do in my situation?"- ...
I've tried to DIY the situation through spiritual means, but nothing seems to be "curing" this situation.
"I heard fetishes are even okay as you long as you keep them within a loving marriage. Obviously I am not married, so is that what makes it sinful?"- ...
Since I'm not "cured", maybe its not so bad?
"I only watch videos, but still. I have been struggling for a long time. I just feel bad because I am struggling to stop."-
...IDK from what I've been taught, its something bad, and I feel bad, but I don't know if I can ever be cured of it, I just like it and its a part of me.
So now I'm gonna put it together. Its probably more of less your deeper feelings, and maybe I made it sound too abrasive or blunt, but this has helped me with my sexual desires. To be brutally honest with myself. That is the first step. So here it is:
Hi, I have a sexual desire.Its a sexual desire that became a habit.This habitual sexual desire that have now is becoming an addiction. I've tried to DIY the situation through spiritual means, but nothing seems to be curing this situation. Since I'm not "cured", maybe its not so bad? IDK from what I've been taught, its something bad, and I feel bad, but I don't know if I can ever be cured of it, I just like it and its a part of me.
I can say "stop watching those things" or "you need to pray harder", DIY answers.Plenty of scriptures about dangers of lust, how sin affects sexuality, how sexual sin affects identity and the consequences in entertaining it whether in deeds or in thoughts.That's all head knowledge, what will actually help you the way you actually want to be help, is to understand it on a spiritual level. On surface, its merely a fetish issue, but the root is an identity issue.Its dealing with a desire that you see being/becoming a part of you.
One scripture that has helped me, strangely, is Matthew 16:24.
Your purpose above all else is to find your identity, your desires, your mind in Christ. How you do it is not through works, baptism is not gonna cleanse you, rationalizing it is not gonna help you grow, and entertaining it is not gonna help you overcome it. How to truly overcome it, to truly not identify with it, will take for you to know who you are in God, and what that desire is for what it is, so that you can make those distinctions and address it accordingly. So the first step, put whatever thing you identify with aside, and ask God what He wants from you. Seek Him out through the Word, talk to Him in prayer, whatever question you have about how you're feeling, and anything else in mind.He will reveal Himself to you. Healing is a painful, long, and exhausting process, but OH MAN IT IS WORTH IT, you will see everything in a much better light, and you won't feel defeated even if it does arise. Because you will no longer identify, or have an attachment to it.
Deny yourself. Pick up your cross. Follow Him.