what would you have done ?

Hold on now. If your sister-N-law is so selfish as to expect you to put them ahead of your own daughter I could suggest you sending them a fitting gift instead..a book on maturity!

Sounds like my family. I never hear from them except when they're mad at me. It's your husband's sister, and she's mad at you? Can't he talk to her and settle things down?

Sounds like a priority problem. God, spouse, children should be your immediate families goal.

In application I would never allow the "inlaws" which can be "outlaws" to jepordize the health, saftey and happiness of my Spouse or children.

If your "inlaws" can't accept that "to bad for them".

Why don't you invite them to your place and make them a nice dinner, play some games together and have a good talk. Don't do it because it is someone's birthday, or graduation. Don't do it on a holyday. Do it on a day that is good for everyone and do it only because you care. Why not become a friend, instead just a family member.

This way, next time a situation like the birthday one arises, you will be able to call your sister in law as a friend, tell her you don't feel comfortable about coming over and she, being a true friend will understand and not hold it against you, knowing that she will see you shortly anyway.

My in-laws are a trip too, this is how I handle in-laws. I've invited them over for dinner just because......... when dinner was over they would thank my husband, and I found that to be very funny because he did not invite them or did he prepare the meal. So now no more family dinners I've tried to make peace with this selfish family of in-laws ( by the way who claim to be christian) but that is not for me to judge one's relationship with Christ. I am just going by their actions. Anyway sweetie I don't know what to tell you other to just keep smiling as I do and keep praying. Try the dinner thing it might work for you. Unfortunately it did not for me so I keep my distance now.

Life is tooooo short to worry about this type of stuff.

I tell all my relatives -- You know where I live if you want to see me.
I only visit (on their schedules) at Thanksgiving.

If they don't like it.... SO WHAT!!!

i wouldn't have gone, cuz i hate going to birthday parties anyways. if there was a reason, because of bad weather, it would only give me another reason to stay home. hehe
besides, you were celebrating your daughters! but then again, i hate parties
also, just because i don't go doesn't mean i don't like the person. it's just...inconvenient sometimes.

Well you could have explained to them your situation, and they should recognize that and accept it. If they don't it is not your fault!

It is clear there is much more than a 2 1/2 hr. drive in unpredictable weather, the dogs, and your daughter's birthday (the day before the surprise party), going on here. Could it be that you just don't like your in-laws? Or maybe, you and your in-laws don't like each other? What's your take on the relationship? And what do you think Jesus would have you do? It doesn't matter what we think, or what your pastor thinks, or what your friends think, etc., etc. What does Jesus think?

I'll wait for your response before continuing on. In the meantime let's all pray for God's wisdom and healing. Jesus loves you!

God's Best,

PrayerWarriorUSA

Hi again! I was just reading 1 PETER 3:10-12 (New Living Translation). I would like to share it with you:

"For the Scriptures say, If you want a happy life and good days, keep your tongue from speaking evil, and keep your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Work hard at living in peace with others. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil."

Here's encouragement - 1 PETER 3:13-14 (New Living Translation): "Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don't be afraid and don't worry."

Hope this helps and enlightens. Still waiting to read your take on the situation.

God's Best Be Yours,

PrayerWarriorUSA

My child would come first. Period.

Our children should come first. At the same time, aren't we putting them first when we model that others should come first before ourselves? Humility is a great attribute; we should always model it, encourage it, and practice it - not only to our loved ones but our neighbors as well.

Here are a few scriptures that speak to humility (from the New International Version translation):

PROVERBS 11:2 - When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with HUMILITY comes wisdom.

PROVERBS 15:33 - The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and HUMILITY comes before honor.

PHILIPPIANS 2:3-4 - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in HUMILITY consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

1 PETER 5:5-6 - Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with HUMILITY toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the HUMBLE." HUMBLE yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

TN Jeni, I am proud that you would put your children before yourself. What an example you are to them! Do you see them learning from your example by putting others before themselves?

God's BEST be forever yours,

PrayerWarriorUSA