Pedophile caught; church member in denial...

Servant68 · Aug 3, 2017

Police arrested an employee at my company on several charges related to lewd behavior and communication with a minor. In addition to working for my company, he also owned a local ice cream shop and was a foster parent.

I was processing his termination and going over the details of his arrest and kept thinking that his name sounded familiar.

I realized that a couple of months earlier, I was talking to a fellow Believer at work about trying out his church. He told me about a fellow employee that was also a member and a stellar example of a Christian saying how he and his wife had several foster kids over the years and how he volunteered with the youth group and was a local business owner as well.

I never met the guy (5100 employees) but did attend the church a few times. It wasn't a good fit for me so I stopped attending.

After I found out about the arrest, I talked to my Believer friend to confirm it was the same guy he was telling me about earlier. It was. He was absolutely shocked to find out what had happened and didn't believe that his friend of fifteen years did anything wrong. I have family and friends in local law enforcement and was told it was a pretty compelling case and the guy confessed. My friend is refusing to believe any of it and is staunchly defending him. I guess I can't blame him; he's known the guy for fifteen years. A lot of pedophiles and sexual offenders are very, very good at fooling people and appearing to be upstanding citizens.

They seem to be common in churches since Believers are quick to assume the best about people and in some cases even refuse to believe the truth even when presented to them.

My brother is a detective and worked a similar case a decade or so ago involving a man who was a younger good-looking guy that was a natural charmer. Problem was that he had a thing for teen girls and liked to get violent.

When my brother approached the pastor of the church the guy was attending, he refused to believe any of it and he and the elders rallied around the guy to the point of obstruction of justice. The guy ended up doing a little time, then got out and married a very young girl in the same church. A few years later they divorced after he was arrested again for domestic abuse. The church pastor still supports him, but several church members have told him he is not welcome there anymore.

This all came out when my brother and I visited a newer church in the area and he saw the guy after the service in the foyer laughing and joking with people. My brother got visibly upset and told me the whole thing over lunch that day.

Really no point to this thread other than to get it off my chest and remind people that the church has it's share of wolves lurking about and to be vigilant in reporting suspect behavior involving children.

Zoii · Aug 3, 2017

Everyone thinks... ok yea we heard about those preists but, that sort of thing isnt in my church...n when the raped or preyed on victim compmains, its she/he that cops accusations, while many rally to the perpetrator. It causes another level of rape.

Let me tell you its in YOUR church.... domestic violence is in YOUR church. You have a choice to stand up and interrogate what you suspect, or callaborate with the perpetrators.

paul1149 · Aug 3, 2017

I think home groups can be helpful for things like this. When you're away from a formal atmosphere and order of worship, and you're sharing personally on various subjects, it's harder to keep up a facade.

blackribbon · Aug 3, 2017

paul1149 said:
I think home groups can be helpful for things like this. When you're away from a formal atmosphere and order of worship, and you're sharing personally on various subjects, it's harder to keep up a facade.

It may not be a fascade...they may have fooled themselves into believing that there is nothing wrong with what they are doing. Like the guy whose friend of 15 years is a pediphile, this kind of evil is often well hidden from even a small group frame of mind. They know all the right things to say and do to avoid suspicion and no one wants to accuse a good Christian who always attends small group and talks about everything he is doing with his wonderful family all the time.

Servant68 · Aug 3, 2017

I can't quite recall the specifics of the young man, but at one point he was staying with a couple of different church families that had children while the pastor knew of the allegations against him yet he didn't tell the families. I looked up the case a couple of years ago when my brother first told me about it. The church involved is very controversial locally; very Fundamentalist with an almost cult-like bent. It's a bit creepy...

dayhiker · Aug 7, 2017

I've not aware that I've been in a church that had a pedephile among us. I have known a couple of situations were two guy was abusive to some level with their wives. I was younger and how no clue who to deal with those situations. I think I could do better now if I was aware of them.

Zoii · Sep 26, 2017

I know this is an older thread - but recent cases in Australia continue to warn us that the worst perpetrators hide as being the most upstanding amongst our institutions.

The first link is about a preist who would rape a child on the alter of his church
Dad let pedophile priest abuse his daughter: Court

The second a prominent news report with a major TV station in Australia.
McCormack negotiating child inappropriate content charges

dayhiker · Sep 27, 2017

Didn't read the articles ... just sad

WilliamBo · Sep 27, 2017

Servant68 said:
When my brother approached the pastor of the church the guy was attending, he refused to believe any of it and he and the elders rallied around the guy to the point of obstruction of justice. The guy ended up doing a little time, then got out and married a very young girl in the same church. A few years later they divorced after he was arrested again for domestic abuse. The church pastor still supports him, but several church members have told him he is not welcome there anymore.

I understand that pedophilia is gross and most people don't even want to think about it, but is banning the man from a church building the right thing to do? Would Jesus love this man just like He loved everyone else? I personally don't know what I would do in a situation around a man doing something like this, I'm just sharing my thoughts. Clearly the man needs help. God can save/deliver a child molester just like he can deliver someone who does any other sin, right? Generally though, the law catches up to someone like this and they end up going to prison for a long time

Servant68 · Sep 28, 2017

WilliamBo said:
I understand that pedophilia is gross and most people don't even want to think about it, but is banning the man from a church building the right thing to do? Would Jesus love this man just like He loved everyone else?

The key is repentance and turning from that sin.

Luke 5:31-32
31 Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Luke 17:3
3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them."

The young man in that church did not repent of his sin, but continued to pursue it...

And as an update to the original story about my former co-worker; he confessed to lewd acts with a child and is awaiting sentencing.

Turns out his grown foster kids learned of the latest abuse after having been abused themselves and turned him in.

dayhiker · Sep 28, 2017

Thanks for the update.

brinny · Sep 28, 2017

WilliamBo said:
I understand that pedophilia is gross and most people don't even want to think about it, but is banning the man from a church building the right thing to do? Would Jesus love this man just like He loved everyone else? I personally don't know what I would do in a situation around a man doing something like this, I'm just sharing my thoughts. Clearly the man needs help. God can save/deliver a child molester just like he can deliver someone who does any other sin, right? Generally though, the law catches up to someone like this and they end up going to prison for a long time

It's called SIN. The victims and any FUTURE victims need PROTECTION, amen?

I was just listening to a message a while ago about "clean hands and a pure heart" and what that means. Does this apply here, WilliamBo?

Should we be careful with WHOM our "heart goes out to"? Is that covered in the Bible?

While we're at it, what are those 6, no 7, things that God hates, again?

Praying.

brinny · Sep 28, 2017

Zoii said:
I know this is an older thread - but recent cases in Australia continue to warn us that the worst perpetrators hide as being the most upstanding amongst our institutions.

The first link is about a preist who would rape a child on the alter of his church
Dad let pedophile priest abuse his daughter: Court

The second a prominent news report with a major TV station in Australia.
McCormack negotiating child inappropriate content charges

God have mercy!

brinny · Sep 28, 2017

Servant68 said:
The key is repentance and turning from that sin.

Luke 5:31-32
31 Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Luke 17:3
3 So watch yourselves. “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them."

The young man in that church did not repent of his sin, but continued to pursue it...

And as an update to the original story about my former co-worker; he confessed to lewd acts with a child and is awaiting sentencing.

Turns out his grown foster kids learned of the latest abuse after having been abused themselves and turned him in.

Amen.

JAM2b · Oct 1, 2017

This is so sad.

I get the thing about not suspecting people of having the capacity to do these things because I grew up in a family that was like this. There are sexual abusers in my family. They are also abusive in other ways. Away from home they run their own businesses, interact with the community, and behave like great people. The forced silence about what goes on at home is very confusing and crazy-making. I remember being a teenager and meeting someone who had business dealings with a family member and their comment was, "He's a super nice guy. You're so lucky." And I was stunned, thinking, "he can't be talking about the same person."

I've also run into churches not knowing how to deal with sexual assault and abuse within the church. They are not trained, equipped, or confident. I've seen it swept under the rug and the victim silenced.

Zoii · Oct 1, 2017

JAM2b said:
This is so sad.

I get the thing about not suspecting people of having the capacity to do these things because I grew up in a family that was like this. There are sexual abusers in my family. They are also abusive in other ways. Away from home they run their own businesses, interact with the community, and behave like great people. The forced silence about what goes on at home is very confusing and crazy-making. I remember being a teenager and meeting someone who had business dealings with a family member and their comment was, "He's a super nice guy. You're so lucky." And I was stunned, thinking, "he can't be talking about the same person."

I've also run into churches not knowing how to deal with sexual assault and abuse within the church. They are not trained, equipped, or confident. I've seen it swept under the rug and the victim silenced.

I know what you mean

blackribbon · Oct 1, 2017

I would hope that once an accusation like that is made that he is at least observed (never alone) with vulnerable parties under the church's control. When there were two accusations, then it is time to take the situation VERY seriously. If he did repent and wanted to return to the church, I would hope that he was never alone EVER when he was in church building or at any church activity. Someone could pick him up and drop him back off at home. I would hope the church would also help him be accountable for all the other sexual predator laws like not being around children and reporting his most up to date addresses. If he as repentant, he would be cooperating with this willingly.

Zoii · Oct 1, 2017

blackribbon said:
I would hope that once an accusation like that is made that he is at least observed (never alone) with vulnerable parties under the church's control. When there were two accusations, then it is time to take the situation VERY seriously. If he did repent and wanted to return to the church, I would hope that he was never alone EVER when he was in church building or at any church activity. Someone could pick him up and drop him back off at home. I would hope the church would also help him be accountable for all the other sexual predator laws like not being around children and reporting his most up to date addresses. If he as repentant, he would be cooperating with this willingly.

No. I can't agree. The First Time the accusation is made is the time to act formally. If a woman states she gets domestically assaulted by her partner, it's time to act, not wait until the next occasion. Same for any criminal misconduct. The issue should be handed to the police because all churches have proven to be totally and utterly incompetent in this area to the extent that they do more to protect the perpetrator and the image of the church, than they do for the victim.

blackribbon · Oct 1, 2017

Zoii said:
No. I can't agree. The First Time the accusation is made is the time to act formally. If a woman states she gets domestically assaulted by her partner, it's time to act, not wait until the next occasion. Same for any criminal misconduct. The issue should be handed to the police because all churches have proven to be totally and utterly incompetent in this area to the extent that they do more to protect the perpetrator and the image of the church, than they do for the victim.

What if the woman has a history of less than accurate stories and there is zero evidence

Zoii · Oct 1, 2017

blackribbon said:
What if the woman has a history of less than accurate stories and there is zero evidence

What of it - the point is that churches have proven themselves incompetent in these matters. They do not have investigative powers of any substance, and to adopt a strategy as you suggest ie I hear shes been a liar in the past - therefore do nothing - this is exactly how so much cover-up has occurred in church societies resulting in the nurturing of criminal behavior of some of its members over decades.

The Royal commission into insitutional child sexual abuse totally condemned the practices of churches. If criminal allegations are made, they are a matter for the police to investigate and for the church to facilitate to their utmost capability.

In addition they should provide care and love to both perpertrator and victim. Its an awful thing to go through as a victim and Im sure its not that great for the perpetrator (though on a personal level I actually couldnt care less about the perp. But I acknowledge the stress if the perp is actually innocent). Lastly the family of the perp is usually not in a good way at all. They too become victims and need a lot of support.

Pedophile caught; church member in denial...

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