Not sure if it is time to end things?

Tanilis

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I know it has not been very long like most couple but me and my wife have been married for about a year now, and it has been rough since day one. I know that marriage is rough and it is not the easiest, but it just feels that we have way more road blocks in our marriage that normal.
I also know she did not believe in God until I came along and she really only "got into it" because it would pretty much shut me up from talking about it. Well recently we decided to move up north into northern Oregon. Her job transfer went through way faster than we though, so she is already living up there with her family, which is where we would be living, she has her own car now and a good stable job.
I however am having a lot of trouble finding a job up there even working in the medical field with my experience in it. I have really been praying for God to open the right does and close the wrong ones when it comes to jobs. I took a step back the other day and though maybe God is shutting the door just not on the job but on my relationship, and that maybe this is a sign to part ways since we are so different and have different believes. I am just not really sure what is going on right now. All I can do is keep praying for the right feelings or sign to come along so I know without a doubt what to do. Thoughts?
 

Jane_Doe

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Son't give up!

Marriage is tough, and it takes learning how to do it. Things like communication skills need to be taken to a whole new level when you're married. Same with self awareness and forgiveness. It sounds like you guys are still learning these skills-- well, so is every other married couple. I would recommend getting a mentor to help guide you in the learning of these skills. This mentor could be a professional counselor, a good book, a pastor, a wise older friend, etc. And of course Christ should be in there the whole way!
 
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Hotinco

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God is not shutting the door on your marriage.

Marriage is a very sacred to God, many thing in scripture are likened to marriage and a bride. It sounds like you both need to get into a young married group and marriage counseling. Contrary to popular belief it is not uncommon to have problems int eh first year of marriage.

One of my the most valuable thing I learned early in my marriage ( Now married 28 years) was from an older couple teaching our young marrieds class. If we got married and divorced based on our feeling we would be married and divorced daily. Marriage is something you work at on a daily basis, some days it is easier then others.

Above all you need to show your wife
Love
Patience
Kindness
and be the spiritual leader.

Even when you don't feel like it..

If you have not already, watch Fireproof. That is a great movie
 
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snoochface

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God will never "tell" you to do something that is against his will, and giving up on your marriage would fall into that category. Don't rely on feelings. Feelings change, are fickle, and are unreliable. Go into God's word and read Ephesians, read about how God feels about marriage, and take your cues from scripture.
 
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tall73

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I know it has not been very long like most couple but me and my wife have been married for about a year now, and it has been rough since day one. I know that marriage is rough and it is not the easiest, but it just feels that we have way more road blocks in our marriage that normal.
Other than the job and move situation and the different views on faith, what roadblocks do you have? It is hard to advise if we do not know what the issues are.

I also know she did not believe in God until I came along and she really only "got into it" because it would pretty much shut me up from talking about it.

You know this now, or at the time of the marriage? As in did she seem to be into it and then confessed this later?

Well recently we decided to move up north into northern Oregon. Her job transfer went through way faster than we though, so she is already living up there with her family, which is where we would be living, she has her own car now and a good stable job.
I however am having a lot of trouble finding a job up there even working in the medical field with my experience in it.

Are you all living in different spots now? Or did you move up with her?

I have really been praying for God to open the right does and close the wrong ones when it comes to jobs. I took a step back the other day and though maybe God is shutting the door just not on the job but on my relationship, and that maybe this is a sign to part ways since we are so different and have different believes.

What is the sign? I am not understanding how this would in any way indicate this. You two made a choice to move. It appears you are not yet finding a job. But how would that indicate you should not be married? It seems like we are missing a lot of the story.

I am just not really sure what is going on right now. All I can do is keep praying for the right feelings or sign to come along so I know without a doubt what to do. Thoughts?

In I Corinthians 7:12-13 Paul suggests that if your wife is willing to stay you should not divorce solely on account of you being a believer and her not being a believer.

If you are not yet moved over to the same location as your wife I would recommend moving there as soon as possible. The relationship would be strained by distance.

How long into the marriage did the move decision happen?

What were the reasons the move? It sounds like being close to family is important. Was it important for both or primarily one?

Did you mean you would be in the same town as her parents, or literally living in the same residence?
 
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