Hi, I need help. Please read. My name is Georgia Rose, nothing I'm about to tell you leaves here.
I am roughly 5"7 1/2 to 5"8, and even though Im not extraordinarily tall, my height has been an ongoing issue for me for many years has caused me lot of distress to say the least.
I am approaching 16 years of age now, so I'm not growing as much I used to, but when I was growing a lot I tried everything within my power to try and stop it from happening. I starved myself to deprive my body of nutrients, I almost never went out in the sun to avoid exposure to vitaminD, I deprived myself of sleep, I would take estrogen supplements, I didn't and still don't allow myself to participate in school sport which does result in me failing the subject, I avoid any kind of physical activity at all costs; I am reluctant to share more than that.
Whenever I grew taller, I felt violated. Like my body was not my own. Even since my growing has slowed down I still feel like my body is not my own. Whenever I look at myself in a full length mirror I want to cry because I'm so unhappy with the way that I look and I feel helpless to do anything about it.
I used to tie elastic bands around my legs as a method to feel like I could gain back some control. I bought all my shoes a size too small because I was so worried about my feet growing too. My feet didn't grow for a long time (approximately since 8th grade) and I was really thankful for that. I was quite proud of my feet because they were petite and delicate-looking. That was until a couple of weeks ago when my nan pointed out that I had nice small feet. At the time she said this I was happy, but after that I started to get paranoid that I was going to lose the only part of me I was really happy with. I would unwillingly start to visualise my feet growing and this made me really anxious because of all the studies that suggest if you visualise something enough it could result in it actually happening, the same kind of mind body connection as creating false pain by fretting on it, but then the pain becomes real. So I would move my feet around a lot and twitch my toes, or curl my feet - anything to try take away the thought of my worst nightmare becoming a reality. Then of course, it did. After 3 years of my feet not growing, in less than a month I went up a whole shoe size and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I've measured them to confirm that it's not just paranoia. My feet have literally gone up a whole size and I only have myself to blame for that.
I won't accept the way my body has betrayed me. I hate my height, I hate my feet and I hate myself because of it and it makes me hate everything around me.
I'm so uncomfortable in my body that I've become reclusive, I've cutoff all connections with my previously good friends because I can't bare to face them, I avoid family gatherings as much as I can and going to school or even just being around people is emotionally draining. Some days I just don't want to live anymore because everyday tasks have become so stressful. In spite of this I am still able to recognise that I have a good life, I can see that, but I just can't enjoy it. I can't tell you how badly I want to be able to just enjoy it but even when I'm not thinking about my issues they're still there. It never leaves me, I always have this underlying sadness that pulls me down and makes it so difficult for me to appreciate the good in my life. Anything good that happens to me doesn't matter anyway because it won't fix the one problem that matters more to me than anything.
I am a really ambitious person and I like to think I'm going to do great things for god someday, but whenever I find myself thinking ambitiously, or being excited about the future, those happy thoughts are are quickly replaced with the fear that I will never even get the opportunity to peruse my dreams because I am trapped in a body that won't allow me to unleash my full potential.
This issue is taking its toll on my mental and physical health and I'm not sure how much longer I can endure it.
I don't expect you to understand or relate to what I'm going through, but I do ask that you try to comprehend what I am saying and I hope that you can sympathise with me. I pray that god would be willing to change the things about me that are sabotaging my life.
I've seen a couple other prayer forums where people have asked god to make them taller, because like me their height is causing them serious mental health issues as distinct from simply wanting to be taller out of selfish desire, and for some of them, god has supposedly answered their prayers. So why would god not do the same with me if I were asking him to make me smaller.
I'm in need of a miracle which will require as much prayer as I can get. What I request of anybody who has read this far is that you pray for me please. Include me in your daily devotions. This problem is out of my control, I know this now after many years of trying to battle it on my own, which is why I am turning it over to god.
Edit: Please do not reply to my prayer request if you're attempting to change my thoughts/perspective on this issue with a classic response like "god does not make mistakes" or "you're beautiful the way you are" because if it was that simple this issue would not have dragged on for so long. Genetics determines our physical appearance, not God. The bible verse you're using has been twisted to mean something else entirely. Let's say god knitted each and every person in their mothers womb, therefore he would too the babies who fail to stay alive for more than 5 minutes because of a faulty heart, or kids with physical or mental deformities so bad they can not go a day in their life without medical assistane. I'm not going to argue the toss with anyone about this because I did not initiate this thread for that purpose. I did because I need prayer, so please pray for me accordingly. Thank you.
I am roughly 5"7 1/2 to 5"8, and even though Im not extraordinarily tall, my height has been an ongoing issue for me for many years has caused me lot of distress to say the least.
I am approaching 16 years of age now, so I'm not growing as much I used to, but when I was growing a lot I tried everything within my power to try and stop it from happening. I starved myself to deprive my body of nutrients, I almost never went out in the sun to avoid exposure to vitaminD, I deprived myself of sleep, I would take estrogen supplements, I didn't and still don't allow myself to participate in school sport which does result in me failing the subject, I avoid any kind of physical activity at all costs; I am reluctant to share more than that.
Whenever I grew taller, I felt violated. Like my body was not my own. Even since my growing has slowed down I still feel like my body is not my own. Whenever I look at myself in a full length mirror I want to cry because I'm so unhappy with the way that I look and I feel helpless to do anything about it.
I used to tie elastic bands around my legs as a method to feel like I could gain back some control. I bought all my shoes a size too small because I was so worried about my feet growing too. My feet didn't grow for a long time (approximately since 8th grade) and I was really thankful for that. I was quite proud of my feet because they were petite and delicate-looking. That was until a couple of weeks ago when my nan pointed out that I had nice small feet. At the time she said this I was happy, but after that I started to get paranoid that I was going to lose the only part of me I was really happy with. I would unwillingly start to visualise my feet growing and this made me really anxious because of all the studies that suggest if you visualise something enough it could result in it actually happening, the same kind of mind body connection as creating false pain by fretting on it, but then the pain becomes real. So I would move my feet around a lot and twitch my toes, or curl my feet - anything to try take away the thought of my worst nightmare becoming a reality. Then of course, it did. After 3 years of my feet not growing, in less than a month I went up a whole shoe size and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. I've measured them to confirm that it's not just paranoia. My feet have literally gone up a whole size and I only have myself to blame for that.
I won't accept the way my body has betrayed me. I hate my height, I hate my feet and I hate myself because of it and it makes me hate everything around me.
I'm so uncomfortable in my body that I've become reclusive, I've cutoff all connections with my previously good friends because I can't bare to face them, I avoid family gatherings as much as I can and going to school or even just being around people is emotionally draining. Some days I just don't want to live anymore because everyday tasks have become so stressful. In spite of this I am still able to recognise that I have a good life, I can see that, but I just can't enjoy it. I can't tell you how badly I want to be able to just enjoy it but even when I'm not thinking about my issues they're still there. It never leaves me, I always have this underlying sadness that pulls me down and makes it so difficult for me to appreciate the good in my life. Anything good that happens to me doesn't matter anyway because it won't fix the one problem that matters more to me than anything.
I am a really ambitious person and I like to think I'm going to do great things for god someday, but whenever I find myself thinking ambitiously, or being excited about the future, those happy thoughts are are quickly replaced with the fear that I will never even get the opportunity to peruse my dreams because I am trapped in a body that won't allow me to unleash my full potential.
This issue is taking its toll on my mental and physical health and I'm not sure how much longer I can endure it.
I don't expect you to understand or relate to what I'm going through, but I do ask that you try to comprehend what I am saying and I hope that you can sympathise with me. I pray that god would be willing to change the things about me that are sabotaging my life.
I've seen a couple other prayer forums where people have asked god to make them taller, because like me their height is causing them serious mental health issues as distinct from simply wanting to be taller out of selfish desire, and for some of them, god has supposedly answered their prayers. So why would god not do the same with me if I were asking him to make me smaller.
I'm in need of a miracle which will require as much prayer as I can get. What I request of anybody who has read this far is that you pray for me please. Include me in your daily devotions. This problem is out of my control, I know this now after many years of trying to battle it on my own, which is why I am turning it over to god.
Edit: Please do not reply to my prayer request if you're attempting to change my thoughts/perspective on this issue with a classic response like "god does not make mistakes" or "you're beautiful the way you are" because if it was that simple this issue would not have dragged on for so long. Genetics determines our physical appearance, not God. The bible verse you're using has been twisted to mean something else entirely. Let's say god knitted each and every person in their mothers womb, therefore he would too the babies who fail to stay alive for more than 5 minutes because of a faulty heart, or kids with physical or mental deformities so bad they can not go a day in their life without medical assistane. I'm not going to argue the toss with anyone about this because I did not initiate this thread for that purpose. I did because I need prayer, so please pray for me accordingly. Thank you.
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