what are you feeling right now? (24)

Have you guys ever been really close to the edge anyways, and then some little thing that was intentionally mean, sent you over the edge, jeopardizing all of your hard work and most recent accomplishments in recovery?

did you wake up and realize that what you already knew in your gut about someone was true, and well, never again will you throw them a life preserver and save them from their imminent destruction by their own doing, because, you know that they intend to take you with them?

I had my first visit to the physical therapist today. It lasted about an hour. She asked a lot of questions about my situation. Then, she had me doing the strength tests where she held onto my leg and foot and asked me to bend it up, down, sideways, etc. She also had me doing small things like laying on a pillow on my back and on my stomach, standing and bending over, sideways, etc. while asking me questions like does the pain increase or decrease. She felt on my lower back several times and thinks my spine may be out of alignment. She put a electrical machine on my back and had me lay on a ice pack for 15 minutes.

Overall, it was a good visit. I have to do three exercises while at home and wants to see me twice a week for about a month.

Sorry I haven't been here lately for anyone. God bless you all nevertheless. May Christ give you his comfort.

Sad and joyful at the same time. done a lot of work but have also rested. Sleep still low but much more restful going the right way i think.

Blessings

Struggling today. Doubting God's love.

Fell far today. I believe God is fighting for me and it's starting to turn around. Starting to recover.

@TimAM so glad to hear that you are in physical therapy. This is the key to happiness when it comes to musculoskeletal problems, and how to overcome them or at least deal with them better.

Be faithful and true when it comes to doing your home exercises and if you are faltering in them, see if you can find a work out buddy to help, or enlist the help of a trainer at the local gym.

Water exercise, if approved is very helpful too, as you don't have to be weight bearing and can exercise and stretch the muscles.

How are you feeling today with the exercises, and do you mind sharing what they are?

Tempura said:

Sorry I haven't been here lately for anyone. God bless you all nevertheless. May Christ give you his comfort.

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Hey Tempura, did you know that by asking others to help you with something you need, you are helping them to fulfill the commandment to love one another?

How can we help YOU?

Yvonne is finally coming around tonight, it has been so hard! Poor Yvonne took of though i never raged or did anything wrong just because she saw i was going psychotic her accusing me with things i didn't do and yet she couldn't stop feeling the way she was. She has never done that before just like that.

What was even harder to understand was that she claimed i really hurt her very badly while she was gone. While we only ever communicated through texting - and all i ever did was asking her to come back and stop believing i was psychotic for i wasn't and all was fine - but she wouldn't believe me.

All the way up to now - and she is only coming for a peep. No one of my family has been around and they are all upset with me for upsetting mum. Horrible to see how scared she and they all are of me even while i didn't do anything wrong whatsoever and prayed for her all the time. The Lord helped me and led yovonne right through all her lies all to way to the point that she understands what is happening and how to find safety in Jesus together in prayer and loving forgiveness and grace and not keep piling past crimes on those who don't do anything wrong but are just sick because of people doing that all the time. Such a complex process dealing with p.t.s.d issues.

so please pray for us that Yvonne has enough strength and faith in our Lord to by pass her fears and the terror that i put in her over the years, and i have enough strength not to blow up in my agony if she falls and she throws it back on top of me. So that we can lay all of this before the face of the Lord tonight together and find healing in this and His forgiving love tie us together instead of those horrible lies keeping us apart.

We need to live Revelation 18 till the end and enter next chapter.

Thanks

@Jeshu Maybe this prayer will help you:

u2spicy said:

@TimAM so glad to hear that you are in physical therapy. This is the key to happiness when it comes to musculoskeletal problems, and how to overcome them or at least deal with them better.

Be faithful and true when it comes to doing your home exercises and if you are faltering in them, see if you can find a work out buddy to help, or enlist the help of a trainer at the local gym.

Water exercise, if approved is very helpful too, as you don't have to be weight bearing and can exercise and stretch the muscles.

How are you feeling today with the exercises, and do you mind sharing what they are?

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So far, I've done the exercises twice. They seem to help.

I uploaded the exercises:

I'm having awful intrusive thoughts again. Been having them off and on a lot recently and I can't make it stop. I tried distraction methods, but they're getting worse and more violent with clearer imagery. And it's always the same, specific person who probably doesn't even exist. I can easily describe him, no problem. I wish we'd work on it in therapy, but no, we gotta only ever work on dbt.

chaoticfirefly said:

I'm having awful intrusive thoughts again. Been having them off and on a lot recently and I can't make it stop. I tried distraction methods, but they're getting worse and more violent with clearer imagery. And it's always the same, specific person who probably doesn't even exist. I can easily describe him, no problem. I wish we'd work on it in therapy, but no, we gotta only ever work on dbt.

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You know what i found really helpful is to mediate on what is going on in your mind as second eye -dual observation this is called - and let the thoughts go instead of control them in any way - and to not respond to them at all with your mind just let them be speak and let the thought go and then after the turmoil dies down look at the main themes and where such might come from - redirect - place rightly - those things in your life it speaks about - a place without turmoil - and repeat process when ready to.

After doing this for a few years my intrusive thoughts stopped completely and i found that loving true also myself brings peace of mind.

Hurting really bad my wife didn't make it things stuffed up at the last moment, so out of our control our lives together at the moment i don't know how much pain i can endure this is hellish. And all i do is pray for healing and peace between us but my wife believes lies and dumps them on me like today.

u2spicy said:

Hey Tempura, did you know that by asking others to help you with something you need, you are helping them to fulfill the commandment to love one another?

How can we help YOU?

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Thank you kindly. I'm alright, don't need help with anything now. Good point though.

I'm kind of anxious today. I could take my as needed anxiety medication but when I take it I generally feel this weird uncomfortable feeling in my head like I'm drugged up. My anxiety is not severe today so I'd rather feel anxious than deal with drug side effects today.

Exhausted been fighting the lies in wife all week. Hate lies, so glad she saw what she was doing in the end. i did really marry the very best person in the whole wide world to deny her ego for me like that. I'm such a crazy husband yet she loves me much more than how was taught her down in her old life getting rid of the word crazy and put me Down Here there. True love never dies how lucky are we?

With me being injured, I've been having to sit at home a lot and it's starting to get to me. Usually, I volunteer and have a mowing job every other week. I haven't been able to do the mowing job. Thankfully, I have family that has been filling in for me. I also have a Church that I go to. But, with the injury, I haven't been able to do any of those.

Very tired today.
Been quite down and not well the last few days.
Hoping for a better day tomorrow