If your teenage daughter....

Catch my breath...say a prayer...and then hug her and tell her that I loved her unconditionally. I would then ask her what her plans were for this pregnancy, her schooling, and her life. Then we would schedule some time to talk about how realistic these plans were and/or how to implement them...after I had some time to process everything.

She is still my daughter. This isn't a situation that can be changed so the only direction we have is to go forward. She is about to be the mother and legal guardian of another life, so I would have to address her life as an instant adult. A baby is always a gift from God and it would be important to see it as such.

I would encourage her to consider adoption as a very real option to give the baby a better chance for a future as well as her...but again, the decision would have to be hers.

Same goes for my son...and I just pray that I could love the girl enough that she would be willing to include me in hers and the baby's life too.

rambot said:

Came home and told you she was pregnant, how would you react?

Click to expand...

I hope I would be aware that she must be in an emotional turmoil and try to find out what it is that she needs (in general, and from me in particular) in order to deal with it.
I would listen, I would ask empathic questions.

Would you demand things of her?

Click to expand...

Like what?

Expect things?

Click to expand...

Like what?

Support her?

Click to expand...

Why sure - that would be the only objective. Of course, in practice it depends a little on what exactly you mean by "support".

Give her an ultimatum?

Click to expand...

Regarding what??

What if she wanted to do something you didn't agree with (despite allllll the lessons you gave her throughout her life)?

Click to expand...

Well, the process of upbringing is over when they are in their early teens.
It´s her life.
Now, insofar as her decisions involve me and affect my life, I would certainly make sure that my needs are considered in her plans (but that wouldn´t be the talk we would have the moment she comes home and tells me).
Also, I would try to help her see some criteria that she´s probably missing (but also at a later point in time).

What if you found out your teenage son impregnated someone? Same questions.

Click to expand...

Pretty much the same answers.

I would be shocked...

that I somehow had a teenage daughter and didn't know about it.

Well, I would help her acquire objective information about her three main options, and I would do my best to make them all financially available to her so that she doesn't feel pressured into choosing a certain one. If she was interested in carrying to term, we would have to figure out as a household how that's going to work.

Boy or girl, I'd say they need unconditional love and support.

Where to go from there depends on the situation and those involved.

For my daughters, I would have followed Blackribbon's outline. But if it was the boy, I would have to pray and fast on that one to keep from doing him serious bodily damage .....

For my daughter, first I would have to find out if this was the result of consensual contact. I would need to find out details regarding the boy/man involved and discern whether the police need to become involved.

I would be angry and hurt, for different reasons, no matter what.

For my daughter, I would tell her I love her and lay out her choices and be reasonable in telling her what support she could expect from her father and I. Adoption, termination and motherhood would all be discussed. She would now have an adult choice before her and would need to take responsibility for such.

I would definitely speak to her about what errors I made in addressing sex with her if there were other children in the household.

If it was my son; I would also be angry & hurt. I would ascertain the details to figure out if a criminal charge might be headed his or her way. I would also tell him that, to a certain extent- his life is out of his control. I would outline her choices and how each one could effect him. I would ask him what he hoped would happen.

I would also outline what he could reasonably expect from his father and I. It would be the same as the daughter above.

My children would have been raised that you need to be able to carry your own decisions and I would favor 2 out of the 3 options for them.

Teenagers are children in first world economies and I don't favor children raising children. Were they to choose that route; I would support the needs of my grandchild to the best of my abilities.

Mind you, that probably doesn't mean what you think it means.

I wouldn't make demands. I don't believe ultimatums are constructive. I would readjust expectations. I would mostly outline choices and consequences.

"Get married".

rambot said:

Came home and told you she was pregnant, how would you react? Would you demand things of her? Expect things? Support her? Give her an ultimatum? What if she wanted to do something you didn't agree with (despite allllll the lessons you gave her throughout her life)?

What if you found out your teenage son impregnated someone? Same questions.

Click to expand...

I am assuming she is over 16 and therefore nothing illegal had taken place.

I would ask her what she thought she wanted to do and what further support or information she required. I would then do all i could to help and support her in whatever decision she made.

If my opinion was asked for I would say that you should only carry on with a pregnancy if she really wanted the pregnancy and could properly care for the child.

At the end of the day it's her choice.

If it was my son, I would tell him that is the girl decided to keep the child, he has responsibilities as a father and he needs to ensure he is the best father he can be, and he must support her in whatever choice she decides to make.

Well..... my parents handled it fairly well with me =X

I'm now married 10 years with 3 awesome boys of my own. We also foster, so sometimes our house is a little bigger.

faroukfarouk said:

"Get married".

Click to expand...

Theres a few reasons why teen girls get pregnant including an unlawful act. Remember its illegal for an adult to have sexual relationships with a girl under 16-18. Even worse when its sexual assault or predation. You need to consider that before demanding a minor marry her possible rapist or a much older adult preying on her.

KWCrazy said:

No, I'm not going to help you justify abortion.

Click to expand...

Huh? Where did that come from?

Zoii said:

Theres a few reasons why teen girls get pregnant including an unlawful act. Remember its illegal for an adult to have sexual relationships with a girl under 16-18. Even worse when its sexual assault or predation. You need to consider that before demanding a minor marry her possible rapist or a much older adult preying on her.

Click to expand...

Oh I had forgotten the possible age.

rambot said:

Came home and told you she was pregnant, how would you react? Would you demand things of her? Expect things? Support her? Give her an ultimatum? What if she wanted to do something you didn't agree with (despite allllll the lessons you gave her throughout her life)?

What if you found out your teenage son impregnated someone? Same questions.

Click to expand...

I'd sit her down and tell her what a slag she is for hours and then kick her out on the streets.

Seriously though, what kind of answers are you expecting? Even the most "conservative" parents love their children.

rambot said:

What if you found out your teenage son impregnated someone?

Click to expand...

If it was my daughter, I'd call the police.

rambot said:

Came home and told you she was pregnant, how would you react? Would you demand things of her? Expect things? Support her? Give her an ultimatum? What if she wanted to do something you didn't agree with (despite allllll the lessons you gave her throughout her life)?

Click to expand...

I would continue to give her my unconditional love and support.

Besides, according to Psalm 127:3, children are a reward from the Lord, no? So in that scenario she must've done something right to receive such a reward, even if it might not have been under the churchiest of conditions.

I kinda wanna flip the question to make it more interesting... what would you do if your teenage SON came home and HE was pregnant?