Hello all! My name is Megan, and I joined this forum seeking clarity to something that has been gnawing at me all day today. I apologize for the length of this post... I've been needing to sort my feelings out into words all day and figure an anonymous board was the best place to start.
Some backstory: I was not raised in a Christian household (agnostic/atheist family.) When I was in 8th grade a friend took me to church, I fell in love with the environment and did 2 years of confirmation. My dad was harming me, I began to self-harm in confusion, and my mom became an alcoholic when she found out what was going on. Going to church gave me the strength to seek a Christian counselor who helped my dad and I with our issues, but my mom has been an alcoholic every since. Obtaining this strength saved me from myself. I thought I was a Christian but didn't really have much support aside from a few friends, and when I got to college, I stopped strengthening my faith. I've been agnostic for years since.
I married my husband about 6 months ago, and he has always been spiritual but not religious (believes in a God but unsure of anything else.) My faith has waned considerably in the past few years so we've never really discussed faith in our marriage. Last night, we were with our two friends who said they couldn't stay out late with us because of church Sunday morning. Without having discussed it previously, my husband and I both looked at each other and said that we could all go together if it meant spending more time with our friends. This morning I woke up and was slightly dreading having to go, knowing that I really didn't believe in anything church had taught me.
When we drove up to the church, everyone was so friendly and was smiling and made my husband and I feel like we were friends. He commented on how this was a great way to start our morning. Service began, the band played, communion was offered, and the sermon began. I sat back and prepared to be rolling my eyes at the sermon for the next 30 minutes. The pastor began by saying that people have commented to him saying they felt like his sermon was created just for them, and it spoke to exactly what was in their minds. I agreed with this; I felt the same back when I went to church in high school. He then began the sermon by explaining how some of us in the room will think he's a good speaker, but won't believe a word he says about God, Jesus, and the Bible because some of us don't believe it's true. I was hooked and curious to hear more since that was EXACTLY what was going through my mind. The sermon was all about the validity of the Bible, and the proof and evidence that it is the actual voice of God. I was amazed; every doubt or question that popped up in my mind seemed to be answered soon after by the pastor. I truly couldn't believe that the first sermon I've attended in many, many years, after classifying myself as an agnostic who didn't believe an old book could have any validity or truth literally spoke to every thought in my mind. The pastor was compelling, gave solid and tangible evidence for his statements that satisfied my desire for "proof", and urged the congregation to try one thing by reading the book of James over the next week and applying it to our lives. He said to notice what a difference it makes for the ultimate proof of the Bible's validity.
At the very end of the service, they informed us that they were giving away Bibles for free. My husband asked me if we could take one (we don't own a Bible, and I haven't had one for years) so I said yes. He commented to our friends how this was the first Bible he had ever owned. When him and i got into the car, we began to express our amazement on how the sermon played to every thought and doubt we had before going to church. He asked me if we could read the book of James this week to see what it was all about, and after seeing how short it was, I said of course.
All day I've had a strange feeling... I feel compelled to investigate this further. Today's sermon spoke to me on a chilling, personal level. It dissipated my doubts and makes me wonder if I was on to something back in high school.
My husband even told our other friends that we went to church today, who were very surprised, and he said he really enjoyed it. Him and I haven't talked much more about the implication's of the service, however, and I've been left yearning all day. I don't know if this feeling is just because of how crazy today's sermon was (in the sense that it, literally, felt like it was created just for my husband and I) or if its because I really need to explore this faith more to see if today's message was more than a coincidence.
I guess I'm looking for any resources to help me explore this faith a bit more. I am somewhat embarrassed to bring it up to my family, friends, and even my husband (since we haven't ever really talked deeply about religion) but feel compelled to do SOMETHING. Any advice? Books? Things to listen to? I need to know for myself if this is something I'm meant to pursue.
Some backstory: I was not raised in a Christian household (agnostic/atheist family.) When I was in 8th grade a friend took me to church, I fell in love with the environment and did 2 years of confirmation. My dad was harming me, I began to self-harm in confusion, and my mom became an alcoholic when she found out what was going on. Going to church gave me the strength to seek a Christian counselor who helped my dad and I with our issues, but my mom has been an alcoholic every since. Obtaining this strength saved me from myself. I thought I was a Christian but didn't really have much support aside from a few friends, and when I got to college, I stopped strengthening my faith. I've been agnostic for years since.
I married my husband about 6 months ago, and he has always been spiritual but not religious (believes in a God but unsure of anything else.) My faith has waned considerably in the past few years so we've never really discussed faith in our marriage. Last night, we were with our two friends who said they couldn't stay out late with us because of church Sunday morning. Without having discussed it previously, my husband and I both looked at each other and said that we could all go together if it meant spending more time with our friends. This morning I woke up and was slightly dreading having to go, knowing that I really didn't believe in anything church had taught me.
When we drove up to the church, everyone was so friendly and was smiling and made my husband and I feel like we were friends. He commented on how this was a great way to start our morning. Service began, the band played, communion was offered, and the sermon began. I sat back and prepared to be rolling my eyes at the sermon for the next 30 minutes. The pastor began by saying that people have commented to him saying they felt like his sermon was created just for them, and it spoke to exactly what was in their minds. I agreed with this; I felt the same back when I went to church in high school. He then began the sermon by explaining how some of us in the room will think he's a good speaker, but won't believe a word he says about God, Jesus, and the Bible because some of us don't believe it's true. I was hooked and curious to hear more since that was EXACTLY what was going through my mind. The sermon was all about the validity of the Bible, and the proof and evidence that it is the actual voice of God. I was amazed; every doubt or question that popped up in my mind seemed to be answered soon after by the pastor. I truly couldn't believe that the first sermon I've attended in many, many years, after classifying myself as an agnostic who didn't believe an old book could have any validity or truth literally spoke to every thought in my mind. The pastor was compelling, gave solid and tangible evidence for his statements that satisfied my desire for "proof", and urged the congregation to try one thing by reading the book of James over the next week and applying it to our lives. He said to notice what a difference it makes for the ultimate proof of the Bible's validity.
At the very end of the service, they informed us that they were giving away Bibles for free. My husband asked me if we could take one (we don't own a Bible, and I haven't had one for years) so I said yes. He commented to our friends how this was the first Bible he had ever owned. When him and i got into the car, we began to express our amazement on how the sermon played to every thought and doubt we had before going to church. He asked me if we could read the book of James this week to see what it was all about, and after seeing how short it was, I said of course.
All day I've had a strange feeling... I feel compelled to investigate this further. Today's sermon spoke to me on a chilling, personal level. It dissipated my doubts and makes me wonder if I was on to something back in high school.
My husband even told our other friends that we went to church today, who were very surprised, and he said he really enjoyed it. Him and I haven't talked much more about the implication's of the service, however, and I've been left yearning all day. I don't know if this feeling is just because of how crazy today's sermon was (in the sense that it, literally, felt like it was created just for my husband and I) or if its because I really need to explore this faith more to see if today's message was more than a coincidence.
I guess I'm looking for any resources to help me explore this faith a bit more. I am somewhat embarrassed to bring it up to my family, friends, and even my husband (since we haven't ever really talked deeply about religion) but feel compelled to do SOMETHING. Any advice? Books? Things to listen to? I need to know for myself if this is something I'm meant to pursue.
