trouble with my 16yr old son...help

What do you want hear? You are obviously here for a reason? Do you want to hear what God would would want you to do?

my advice. Don't give up. What specific form that not quitting takes, God will have to show. I know God hasn't forgotten your situation although it is not going so well right now it seems.
Your son is loved and I will continue to lift up you all in prayer. Remember that whatever mistakes you made as a parent, God makes new mercies everyday available(that is a scripture) and your son has the same chance to partake of that new start as you do no matter how deep the pit. Encourage yourself and him with the knowledge that our past does not have to define our futures when we are in Christ.
Jesus is big enough for the biggest problem and small enough for the smallest concern. I am reminded of a line from the Corrie Ten Boom movie. She was a little girl and was afraid of dying and asked her father what to do. He said to her"when we take the train , when do I give you the ticket?" she answers "right before I board the train" Then he says , even so with God, he will supply all the grace we need when the time arrives that we need it and not usually before. Matthew 6 also puts forth this truth. Take it one day at a time. Corrie Ten Boom also said after her trials in a nazi concentration camp " there is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still"
All things are possible with God. shalom.
Ben

Why haven't you been able to punish him? That's our job as parents!! not being judgmental, it's just a pet peeve of mine to see the kids ruling the roost!!

Still praying.

I don't really know what advice to give you.  But I am fairly sure that your younger son is going to follow the example that his older brother is setting for him.  Myself, I would not tolerate one of my children being disrespectful to me much less violent.  I'll be praying that God will guide you and give you the help you need.

Hmm, I used to be a 16 year old boy myself with ADHD. Are you a single Mom? It's hard, I know, my mother is single as well. I'll tell you something though. The one thing I really do wish my mom did was punnish me more. Spanking is not a bad thing, the bible says "Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child." I believe it. I went and lived with my uncle for a while in my youth, he did not let me get away with everything. He really loved me, and he still does, it was really hard for me to be punnished that way at first, but I'm thankful, without it I would have been much worse, even still I wish my mother was more effective, I would have much more discipline.

When you have children I believe that is your priority for the rest of your life to see to their upbringing and well doing. You can never give up and you can never give in. You must punish this child, he must take you seriously, he must know to never dare yell or get violent with you, and because you have probably been lax with him in the past, it will take a lot of time and effort on your part. Become part of his life and do things fun with him, be his friend, but be his parent. Don't nag, JUST TELL him what you want, if he doesn't do it, MAKE HIM DO IT. he's still young enough he's not ruined yet. You have a good 2 years before things start to become totally irreversable. You can not make idle threats, you must make good on your word, and that includes threat of punnishment.

Don't feel futile, there is plenty you can still do to put him on the right track. I'd be interested to hear what all his happening with him and for further updates if you ever get the time, or desire.

later yo,

BEN

Mama - What about a support group?  If there is not one in your area, maybe you can get some help in starting one.  There are probably other parents or caretakers going through a similar situation.  They might be able to share something that will work.

I will be praying for you.  Take care.

I s he more cooperative after his med ? if his med/blood leval is low when he first gets up this is why he could be violent.
Maybe a short-term residental placement is in order. Is he on a pins ? My neighbor finally called the cops on her son. He does not have adhd. I do not think the adhd is the reason for the violence as I know several boys with it and they are not violent.

Praying,

 

And I would recommend talking to a youth pastor at your church.  If your church doesn't have one find one to talk to.  I am praying that God will bring you some support.

still praying

My advice? Well, I'm not very worldly, but alls I know is one thing...He can do anything. God'll take care of ya. We'll keep praying. Take comfort in the fact that others are praying that God undertakes the situation.

~Peace and God Bless!!

I'm praying! God bless you.

I will pray for you and your boys.

Mama,

Here is a website that has some excellent resources http://www.family.org/ founded by a christian psychologist Dr. Dobson.

I've read some of his work and one of his books "Dare to Discipline" is excellent.  It even made it into the White House Library I believe.

It sounds as if your son is actually reaching out for something.  If you can get him to really pour his heart out it may help.  Letting him rule the roost will not help.  You must discipline him with whatever means is necessary.  You can actually make the conditions worse if you don't.

If an idea comes to mind as to how to discipline him don't dismiss it and try it.

Well 16 is a terrible age. I feel that if you've lost control by then, it's very hard to get it back.My 10 yearold son is unbearable "ON" retalin, much much worse.He is ADHD and Autistic as well,and he just can't focus on the meds.We have tried cylert,risperdol,and buspar not to mention several other "MAGIC PILLS" no meds is much better IMO.

Have you had him in some sort of counseling, sounds like he may be bi-polar as well,which a lot of ADHD people are.I would check into that as well.And best of all, we are all praying for ya

I am still praying for you and your situation. Don't give up . God hears our prayers and has the answers for your situations.

AS a mother   of a son with ADHD i know how hard it is to raise a child like that. You have to keep praying don;t give up! Stand firm with your rules they have to know  there are limits. There were days when all I wanted to do was cry! and lord I blamed myself!But now my son is 22 and showing some signs of maturity! He got a big wakeup call last year. Had a car wreck, broke his back, internal injuries and brain hemorrage! Praise GOD for healing him. He did not finish school , got kicked out of every school he went to! BUt now he has a good job and I am praying that he keeps it!Pray  and ask GOD to direct you , I am praying for YOU and your boy ! GOD BLESS