Feeling Stuck & Lost

Devonna

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I'm 19 and finished my first year of college; I just really don't know the meaning of life anymore. I'm super disappointed in myself; although I had a high GPA this year, I feel I didn't learn anything and wasted my year smoking weed everyday and nearly got myself kicked out of college for that. Additionally, I feel all the choices I made leading up to going to school were wrong; the college I chose to attend was absolutely awful, I quit learning how to drive 6 weeks before school to get a job, something I kind of regret now. During high school my home life was extremely unstable, especially during my junior and senior year. My mom lost her job at the beginning of 11th grade and shortly afterward my dad had to move in with us because he had a nervous breakdown(my parents have been divorced for 10 years) Unfortunately neither one of my parents had a car so I didn't learn how to drive during this time period. In addition to this, I knew there was no money for my college education so I worked very hard to make nearly straight As and was extensively involved in extracurricular activities in hopes of getting a scholarship. Things progressively got worse; during the summer before my senior year, my mom's unemployment benefits ran out and we could no longer afford our apartment,forcing us to move into a room in my mom's best friend's house. That was a hard year. Sorry for so much background.

Although I was dealing with enormous stress and anxiety; I at least felt like I was doing the right thing and my efforts were paying off when I got a partial scholarship to college. Now, I just feel like I've ruined everything and I should've done more by now; I'm 19, already 15k in debt, unemployed( did have a job at school), a nervous wreck, and no license.I've tried to get closer to God ( it's helps somewhat) but I'm honestly not sure of anything anymore. I'm trying to learn how to drive but the only person who can teach me is my mom who works from 1pm-11pm everyday. I feel like a bum because I don't have a job and Im not being productive. Because of all the issues I was dealing with in high school,I was too ashamed of my situation to get close to people, I often feel lonely and don't have anyone to hang out with locally.I just wonder if I'm ever going to get where I want to be. I feel like i should be doing something but at 19, there isn't much I can do. I feel pretty pathetic and helpless these days. I want to think positively but I hate being dissapointed. I just feel I'm slowly become exactly who I despise and the uncertainty of everything is making it really hard for me to have peace of mind.

Has anyone else been thorough something similar; my family never seems to understand my point of view; maybe I'm crazy, I'll let y'all decide that for yourselves though.
 
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Bluerose31

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I'm 19 and finished my first year of college; I just really don't know the meaning of life anymore. I'm super disappointed in myself; although I had a high GPA this year, I feel I didn't learn anything and wasted my year smoking weed everyday and nearly got myself kicked out of college for that. Additionally, I feel all the choices I made leading up to going to school were wrong; the college I chose to attend was absolutely awful, I quit learning how to drive 6 weeks before school to get a job, something I kind of regret now. During high school my home life was extremely unstable, especially during my junior and senior year. My mom lost her job at the beginning of 11th grade and shortly afterward my dad had to move in with us because he had a nervous breakdown(my parents have been divorced for 10 years) Unfortunately neither one of my parents had a car so I didn't learn how to drive during this time period. In addition to this, I knew there was no money for my college education so I worked very hard to make nearly straight As and was extensively involved in extracurricular activities in hopes of getting a scholarship. Things progressively got worse; during the summer before my senior year, my mom's unemployment benefits ran out and we could no longer afford our apartment,forcing us to move into a room in my mom's best friend's house. That was a hard year. Sorry for so much background.

Although I was dealing with enormous stress and anxiety; I at least felt like I was doing the right thing and my efforts were paying off when I got a partial scholarship to college. Now, I just feel like I've ruined everything and I should've done more by now; I'm 19, already 15k in debt, unemployed( did have a job at school), a nervous wreck, and no license.I've tried to get closer to God ( it's helps somewhat) but I'm honestly not sure of anything anymore. I'm trying to learn how to drive but the only person who can teach me is my mom who works from 1pm-11pm everyday. I feel like a bum because I don't have a job and Im not being productive. Because of all the issues I was dealing with in high school,I was too ashamed of my situation to get close to people, I often feel lonely and don't have anyone to hang out with locally.I just wonder if I'm ever going to get where I want to be. I feel like i should be doing something but at 19, there isn't much I can do. I feel pretty pathetic and helpless these days. I want to think positively but I hate being dissapointed. I just feel I'm slowly become exactly who I despise and the uncertainty of everything is making it really hard for me to have peace of mind.

Has anyone else been thorough something similar; my family never seems to understand my point of view; maybe I'm crazy, I'll let y'all decide that for yourselves though.

Welcome to Christian Forums! I am sorry you are going through so much stress right now. I pray that God comforts you and helps your circumstances get better.
 
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Hidden In Him

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Now, I just feel like I've ruined everything and I should've done more by now; I'm 19, already 15k in debt, unemployed( did have a job at school), a nervous wreck, and no license.I've tried to get closer to God ( it's helps somewhat) but I'm honestly not sure of anything anymore.

Greetings Devonna, and God Bless You!

Welcome to our Forum, and that's a beautiful name you have, btw. :oldthumbsup:

Listen, you just need to start trusting God day by day now. This is a habit we older Christians have mastered over the years. I know $15,000 in debt may seem like a lot right now, but no problem is too hard for God to solve, so all you really have to do is keep walking with Him. Even if it takes several years, just trust Him to take care of you. In time He will deliver you from your struggles, and when you've had a chance to learn from your mistakes.

But seriously. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you're young still. Enjoy your life, be responsible with your money, draw closer and closer to God, and seek him to guide you in every area of your life.

He will do it, I promise you. :)

Thanks for sharing your problems with us. We are more than glad to help. You can also post your biggest concerns on the Prayer Wall. I'm sure there will be some to help you there as well. :wave:
 
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LongLiveTheChrist

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Your life is not meaningless and you are NOT pathetic.

Your situation sounds stressful.

But know that God is with you and that with patience, things will get better. You just have to take it one thing at a time.

This life here on Earth is very temporary and the concerns of the world, such as having the right house or job, are absurd when compared with the bigger picture.

Abide in God, seek to know him and do His will, and you will be free from stress and feelings of worthlessness.

God bless and Jesus be with you.
 
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I'm 19 and finished my first year of college; I just really don't know the meaning of life anymore. I'm super disappointed in myself; although I had a high GPA this year, I feel I didn't learn anything and wasted my year smoking weed everyday and nearly got myself kicked out of college for that. Additionally, I feel all the choices I made leading up to going to school were wrong; the college I chose to attend was absolutely awful, I quit learning how to drive 6 weeks before school to get a job, something I kind of regret now. During high school my home life was extremely unstable, especially during my junior and senior year. My mom lost her job at the beginning of 11th grade and shortly afterward my dad had to move in with us because he had a nervous breakdown(my parents have been divorced for 10 years) Unfortunately neither one of my parents had a car so I didn't learn how to drive during this time period. In addition to this, I knew there was no money for my college education so I worked very hard to make nearly straight As and was extensively involved in extracurricular activities in hopes of getting a scholarship. Things progressively got worse; during the summer before my senior year, my mom's unemployment benefits ran out and we could no longer afford our apartment,forcing us to move into a room in my mom's best friend's house. That was a hard year. Sorry for so much background.

Although I was dealing with enormous stress and anxiety; I at least felt like I was doing the right thing and my efforts were paying off when I got a partial scholarship to college. Now, I just feel like I've ruined everything and I should've done more by now; I'm 19, already 15k in debt, unemployed( did have a job at school), a nervous wreck, and no license.I've tried to get closer to God ( it's helps somewhat) but I'm honestly not sure of anything anymore. I'm trying to learn how to drive but the only person who can teach me is my mom who works from 1pm-11pm everyday. I feel like a bum because I don't have a job and Im not being productive. Because of all the issues I was dealing with in high school,I was too ashamed of my situation to get close to people, I often feel lonely and don't have anyone to hang out with locally.I just wonder if I'm ever going to get where I want to be. I feel like i should be doing something but at 19, there isn't much I can do. I feel pretty pathetic and helpless these days. I want to think positively but I hate being dissapointed. I just feel I'm slowly become exactly who I despise and the uncertainty of everything is making it really hard for me to have peace of mind.

Has anyone else been thorough something similar; my family never seems to understand my point of view; maybe I'm crazy, I'll let y'all decide that for yourselves though.

Devonna, I will be 38 years old next month.

For the past 5 years, I was stuck living with my parents.

I did absolutely nothing productive for 5 years.

I mean, I did volunteer once a week at the library.

I took one online university course.

With the exception of those 2 things, I did nothing productive for 5 entire years.

I will keep you in my prayers.
Jesus-Loves-You-Wallpaper-01.jpg
 
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Poppyseed78

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I actually think you've accomplished a great deal, especially considering all the setbacks your family had in the past couple years. You earned a partial scholarship and you had a high GPA for your first year in college. That's great, and you should be proud of that! I honestly believe you are being too hard on yourself.

I didn't learn how to drive until I was almost 23 years old. And you know what? It really didn't matter. I got through life okay. Now I hardly remember what it was like before I had a license. It might seem like a big hurdle now, but you are still very young and have time to figure out what direction you want to go in.

In about a month you'll be going back to school, right? I think you could benefit from joining some clubs or a campus church organization. Make some friends (who are a good influence on you). Don't isolate yourself. Continue to focus on your schoolwork. Don't smoke weed anymore - that is definitely something that you should avoid. If you aren't happy with your major, change it; consult your school's academic advisers. Their job is to help you. If your feelings of depression and hopelessness don't lessen, you can see a counselor through your school. Again, their job is to help you. There are many resources out there, you just have to seek them out.

I wish you good luck. Try to see things from a more positive perspective.
 
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