What does it mean to speak the truth in love?

razzelflabben said:

Thank you for the OP question

Interestingly enough the Greek word for rude in I Cor. 13 is referring to sexual advances but includes more than that. IOW's rude here doesn't just mean picking your nose in front of someone but rather it means truly being offensive in your behavior not just leaving your manners at home.

Likewise another word that is often misunderstood in I Cor. 13 is that of kind. The word kind in I Cor. 13 is a useful kindness. IOW's it does something useful. Where a smile is wonderful and sometimes is a useful kindness it isn't always and this is something we need to understand when it comes to loving others. Sometimes the person we smile at and feel righteous in doing so needs someone to listen or a dollar or maybe a cup of coffee and a friend not just a smile. For it to be love it needs to be useful to the receiver not just a feel good for us.

Just some thoughts for what it's worth.

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I am speaking English and speaking of 'rude' with a standard English meaning; bad mannered, boorish, insensitive, thoughtless etc.

The Greek equivalent word or meaning is not relevant because I am not speaking Greek nor quoting Greek scripture. I am simply giving my own opinion based on my experience of people 'speaking the truth in love' in my life. It has never been done with sensitivity or tact, and there has never been the least trace of love anywhere to be found. It is far too often just an excuse for bad manners.

Catherineanne said:

I am speaking English and speaking of 'rude' with a standard English meaning; bad mannered, boorish, insensitive, thoughtless etc.

The Greek equivalent word or meaning is not relevant because I am not speaking Greek nor quoting Greek scripture. I am simply giving my own opinion based on my experience of people 'speaking the truth in love' in my life. It has never been done with sensitivity or tact, and there has never been the least trace of love anywhere to be found. It is far too often just an excuse for bad manners.

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that is fine, you can speak your opinion all you want I was just pointing out to you a flaw in most peoples (notice I did NOT say you) understanding of rude. Now, since you brought it back up, let me give you an example of what I am talking about.

My husband grew up in Nigeria. In Nigeria if you wave at someone as we do here it is a very bad insult. Compare it to giving someone the finger here. In Nigeria you wave with a closed fist or you are simply being rude.

Likewise in some cultures it is a compliment to burp at the table. Here it is rude. Since you never know who you are talking to and what they might find rude an actually Greek understanding of the word rude is helpful to understand that you don't have to have a full background on someone to love them.

In fact, your reaction to my comment could be considered rude and therefore you failed to love by your understanding of rude....

tturt said:

Seems like there's a Scripture that you can present 2-3 times your perspective and then let it go. Can't remember how it's worded so having trouble locating it.

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Titus 3:9-10

Blessings!

Emmy said:

Dear Monotor, I have just send an answer to what it means to speak the truth, but my answer has disappeared. " What does it mean to speak the truth? " The answer is simple and easy to understand: we all know the truth from untruth, let us therefore write the truth as we know it. Ask God and follow Jesus. Then we always speak the truth. I say this with love. Emmy, sister in Christ.

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Sorry, but I'm not sure what happened to your post. Could have been a forum glitch

AlexDTX said:

If I am speaking by the Spirit, the Spirit will have more impact than my arguments on the person to whom I am speaking. Anything we do that is not from the Spirit is a work of the flesh. I think way too much effort has been done in the flesh for the name of Jesus. The great changes in humanity with the growth of real followers of Christ happened through martyrs more than any arguments ever made. People willing to follow the Spirit even to the point of laying down their lives.

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You can discusss or "argue in the spirit" though Jesus did it. And others have done so as well. You can address points raised by the opposition. He that hears repfoof gains understanding the Bible says. If you don't perusade someone to become a Christian then why would they? The Bible says a natural man cannot receive the things of the spirit of God. You can't just convince them off "I feel God inside" and stuff like that. I'm not saying you should have staged debates but if you can't discuss the gospel you can't save anyone

AlexDTX said:

There is no disagreement in discussion and presenting your information. If you have read the rest of the comments in this thread I have stated there is a time and a place for everything, including rebukes and reproofs. But human persuasion is temporal. The work of the Spirit is eternal. I think you are arguing with a shadow.

Please remember the purpose of the OP. It is a discussion on speaking the truth in love, not a dismissal of speaking the truth.

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There is a disagreement when you present your information to someone who's not yet a believer. Also I didn't read the other comments so I guess I missed that. Also if you have the ability to speak for example you preach.. sing lead testimony service etc. if you have a persuasive ability you use that with the spirit on the inside to convince people to turn to Christ. The Spirit alone isn't gonna do it for you you must operate under the Spirit. The Spirit isn't going to get on the pulpit and just preach you got to speak as led by the Spieit. "I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me"

AlexDTX said:

There is no disagreement in discussion and presenting your information. If you have read the rest of the comments in this thread I have stated there is a time and a place for everything, including rebukes and reproofs. But human persuasion is temporal. The work of the Spirit is eternal. I think you are arguing with a shadow.

Please remember the purpose of the OP. It is a discussion on speaking the truth in love, not a dismissal of speaking the truth.

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Look I'm not saying to seek debates but what I'm clearly saying is more often then not a discussion will happen when a saved person try's to convince others to turn to Christ. More often then not the other person will have questions and doubts. Rarely do people just straight up take the gospel is all I'm saying.

JESUS=G.O.A.T said:

You can discusss or "argue in the spirit" though Jesus did it. And others have done so as well. You can address points raised by the opposition. He that hears repfoof gains understanding the Bible says. If you don't perusade someone to become a Christian then why would they? The Bible says a natural man cannot receive the things of the spirit of God. You can't just convince them off "I feel God inside" and stuff like that. I'm not saying you should have staged debates but if you can't discuss the gospel you can't save anyone

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You feel that you have the power to persuade someone to become a Christian or the power to Save, with your words?

RaymondG said:

You feel that you have the power to persuade someone to become a Christian or the power to Save, with your words?

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1. What you need to understand is there's a difference between persuading someone to become a christian vs someone getting baptized and filled with teh holy ghost/repenting aka being saved. It's up to a person who is saved by God to convince someone to go to church or start seeking God....but God is still the one who saves them i'm not disputing that. Now in some cases God convinces a person themselves to turn to God however i'm not disputing that either.

So yes I believe people who have God behind them have the power to persuade someone to start seeking God and at least turn to christianity, but just turning to christianity isn't salvation. But yeah that's the whole purpose of ministry after all to teach and reach the lost. When PEter preached in acts they were pricked in their hearts and turned to God, and then God not Peter filled them with the Holy Ghost.

YOu can persuade someone to start seeking God and believe JESUS is real and acknowledge him, but they must then repent, be baptized, and receive the Holy Spirit.


2. The bible says life and death are at the hand of the tounque and the bible mentions how we must walk in spirit and in truth. What i'm trying to get you and the OP person to understand is that anything that requires speech involves a human being and that what they say can determine what they get. In other words ministry involves training and study of the Word of God it's not just a spirit thing it's a word thing too and God tends to use people to present his Word.

Choosing God is a big choice...so all i'm saying is it's rational to expect someone to question things about that choice or say.. "why can't I just be a muslim they also believe in God and stuff why Christianity " or bring up something that the Christian ends up having to respond to hence starting a discussion. It's rarely just a one way thing.

AlexDTX said:

Again, you are arguing a shadow. There is no disagreement on speaking. The topic is speaking the truth in love. What I sense in your writing is extreme defensiveness. Perhaps you are trying to justify your self for brow beating others? I don't know, but I have no disagreement with either debating or making your case. My topic is to try and understand how to do so in the love of Christ.

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uh well.. I guess I can break this down in points cuase this is a clarification issue clearly


1. Your initial post sounded like you were questioning my reasoning

2. I come across as defensive I guess not sure what else to say about that. I competed in debate for years...there's that so I guess sometimes I come across as defensive at times although there's no reason for it. It's just something I naturally do at times.


3. How to do so in the love of christ is just discussing the gospel...you're making it harder then it really is and this is coming from a guy with experience in the area. It's just like having a conversation sharing the gospel and at times that conversation can become a bit tense (if you're lets say discussing politics for example) or at times that conversation can be chill and kind (if you're lets say sharing a testimony or you and the other person or friend or relative or whoever you're ministering to has come to an agreement somewhere).


What we don't tend to understand is Love isn't cute all the time...and I feel God showed that a lot in the OT in fact lots of atheist hate him for it, we see this in relationships as well. The bible speaks of reconciliation but that doesn't mean to not say anything, it just means to sort of find a common ground and sometimes end that one conversation and wait another day. SOmetimes the best love is a mixture of kindness/correction and of course patience rather then just one or the other.

Anyway that's my two cents on it.

AlexDTX said:

Jesus did not choose men who were trained to be his disciples. He trained them. God does not choose many that are wise in this world, He chooses simple people to confound the wise in this world. A person who knows how to hear God and respond to him is much more effective than a person who has been trained through institutions.

Frankly, Jesus=GOAT, you don't seem to have any interest in the topic of this thread, but want to use this thread for your own agenda. That stinks of selfishness. This is probably why you are not talking about speaking the truth in love because you may not walk in it yourself. If you do, I don't see it here.

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Again clarification issue it seems.

1. I never said that God only chooses people who aren't trained...you're confusing ability with training. I was talking about how some have the ability to preach or speak just aren't called yet or saved and anointed( approved) yet...some have the ability to play an instrument , some have the ability to sing and you confused that with me claiming that God only chooses people who are already set up and ready to do something.

2. I never once said that God chooses people who are already trained...in fact I said studying the word is needed in order to minister. I simply said that typically if someone already has a singing gift or ability to speak or play a instrument or teach they typically are selected for callings that suit those gifts such as preaching/testimony leader/ sunday school teacher. I never said that someone that wasn't born with the ability to speak can't become a preacher, in fact my Pastor qualifies as one who didn't have the ability but God stirred it in him, additionally it helped that he became a teacher as well though. In fact maybe half or so of the preachers I listen to never had a natural speaking ability or even wanted to preach the other half did.


3. YOu overestimate me way to much man....first of all look at my age...i'm a 20 year old preacher/musician i'm too young to be interested in trying to plan and push personal vendettas i'm simply defending a position and I guess I offended you or something because you seem mad if so I apologize. I also apologize for assuming your initial reply was what you were going to stick with I should have noticed the later replies slowly changing in their stance.


4. Well I come across as blunt online so I can't blame you for not seeing truth in me. In real life i'm more sociable though, people like me always have even before being saved, i'm just not the best at translating that online I try though.

AlexDTX said:

I ask this question since there are times when debates begin to be hurtful. I personally believe that the Truth does not need to be defended since it is the Truth that defends us. I also believe that the the truth does not hurt, rather it is the lie and deception we have believed that hurts when revealed. So I think our job is to simply speak the truth and let the truth stand on its own. However, I do think that when the pain of revealing lies is great that we should be kind and thoughtful in how we speak the truth. Sometimes the truth simply needs to be alluded to and at other times it needs to be bluntly spoken. This all takes spiritual discernment, in my opinion.

It seems to me that considering the meaning of the Greek word for godly love, agape, would be a starting point. And a thoughtful consideration of 1 Corinthians 13 would be another point.

What do you all think?

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Ephesians 4:15 "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up
into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ."

"Speaking the truth in love"...goes a bit deeper than just speech, it also includes walking in truth, loving/holding to/believing truth, living it not only when you
are with others but also when by one's self.
Romans 12:9
Ephesians 4:25-28
Proverbs 11:1
Psalm 51:6
Zechariah 8:16-17
Deuteronomy 16:19
Colossians 1:9-12
1 Timothy 4:12
John 8:32
Luke 16:10
1 Peter 3:10-16

Dear AlexDTX. We are Christians, and we should always speak the truth. We have to do it with love and compassion. Jesus told us inMatthew 22: 35-40: " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: love thy neighbour as thyself."
Jesus tells us in verse 40: Love God and love each other, on these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. That is not too hard ford us. We ask for Love and Joy, then we thank God and treat all we know and all we meet with love and compassion.
The Bible tells us: give up or selfish wishes and wants, ask God for love: (Matthew 7: 7-10) then thank God and share all love and joy with all around us. God will see our sincere love and care, and God will BLESS us. Let us all try and be the men and women which God wants. I say this with love, Alex. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

AlexDTX said:

Agreed. But it still needs to be spoken. Those who speak with out the lives to back it up are like sounding brass and tinkling noise. But those who walk the talk and talk the talk are used by the Spirit to make changes.

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yes, serious dialogue is definitely better than a monologue, but it depends not only on one of the parties but on both - i can try talking to someone, but if they don't talk to me, then i can thus only speak a monologue all day long for years...

Blessings