what are you feeling right now? (24)

This is what gives me courage to go on. I know for sure that Jesus is dividing the Sheep from the goats within my heart even right now, and I love Him more than ever for keeping me in His truth teaching me to love God and other. The secret is to learn to love ourselves with His love but reject selfish love, it was that harlot in my lifet is that caused me all of my trouble, talk about the son of lawlessness proceeding from evil or what? So humbling to eat His truth.

Peace.

Proverbs 10

A wise son brings joy to his father,
but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.


Ill-gotten treasures have no lasting value,
but righteousness delivers from death.


The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry,
but he thwarts the craving of the wicked.


Lazy hands make for poverty,
but diligent hands bring wealth.


He who gathers crops in summer is a prudent son,
but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.


Blessings crown the head of the righteous,
but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.


The name of the righteous is used in blessings,
but the name of the wicked will rot.


The wise in heart accept commands,
but a chattering fool comes to ruin.


Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,
but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.


Whoever winks maliciously causes grief,
and a chattering fool comes to ruin.


The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,
but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.


Hatred stirs up conflict,
but love covers over all wrongs.


Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning,
but a rod is for the back of one who has no sense.


The wise store up knowledge,
but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.


The wealth of the rich is their fortified city,
but poverty is the ruin of the poor.


The wages of the righteous is life,
but the earnings of the wicked are sin and death.


Whoever heeds discipline shows the way to life,
but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.


Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips
and spreads slander is a fool.


Sin is not ended by multiplying words,
but the prudent hold their tongues.


The tongue of the righteous is choice silver,
but the heart of the wicked is of little value.


The lips of the righteous nourish many,
but fools die for lack of sense.


The blessing of the Lord brings wealth,
without painful toil for it.


A fool finds pleasure in wicked schemes,
but a person of understanding delights in wisdom.


What the wicked dread will overtake them;
what the righteous desire will be granted.


When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone,
but the righteous stand firm forever.


As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes,
so are sluggards to those who send them.

The fear of the Lord adds length to life,
but the years of the wicked are cut short.


The prospect of the righteous is joy,
but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing.


The way of the Lord is a refuge for the blameless,
but it is the ruin of those who do evil.


The righteous will never be uprooted,
but the wicked will not remain in the land.


From the mouth of the righteous comes the fruit of wisdom,
but a perverse tongue will be silenced.


The lips of the righteous know what finds favor,
but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse

chaoticfirefly said:

I can't take his anger anymore.

He's finding a body tomorrow. I can't do this anymore.

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Oh firefly please stay with us....

I also struggle with rage but have found a way out!

P.T.S.D counseling is very useful to relasease the anger productively and learn to turn bad times into good by focus the anger away from the truth of others and ourselves.

I can mail you a name he is very good! but expensive. ($100 a hour on skype. (sorry.))

My reality passion and all!!!

it just keeps bubbling.... Where would i be without The Word? and those who love Him?

Goatee said:

I am now trying 5-HTP as supposed to be good. Only on day 2 at the mo:

5-Hydroxytryptophan, more commonly known as 5-HTP, is derived from the amino acid L-tryptophan. 5-HTP is converted in the body into the brain chemical messenger serotonin. ... Serotonin influences the majority of the cells in the brain, including sleep, appetite, mood and sexual desire.

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Jeshu put me on to 5-HTP.....works well for me....perhaps too well. I take 100 mg every other night, alternating with 5 mg melatonin. Taking 5-HTP nightly causes too much drowziness.

I know you have been going through a lot lately. Good to see you back and hope you are doing better.

Just woke up not too long ago after pushing 30 hours of no sleep. Surprisingly, I'm doing well mentally at the moment. Feel peace. Not sure how long it will last, but enjoying it for the moment.

TimAM said:

Just woke up not too long ago after pushing 30 hours of no sleep. Surprisingly, I'm doing well mentally at the moment. Feel peace. Not sure how long it will last, but enjoying it for the moment.

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You are indeed doing VERY well considering your lack of sleep! Glad you are at peace.

Hi guys how is? Been bit of a whirlwind in my life lately been overall enjoying it for the wicked hide behind flimsy lies and a few good storms like these blow away their facades - nothing wrong with that, seeing Jesus' disciples scared in the storms of life can be very comforting at such times and how even though Jesus put them straight they loved Him and amazed at His ability to quiet the storms, so good to get to know them all in real life.

I hope Chaotic is ok... I can empathize with her...

Fighting anxiety again.

TimAM said:

Fighting anxiety again.

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The best is to give yourself the anxious one as much love, grace and forgiveness that you can muster brother. For I found that was the reason my fear got so bad, because I despised, hate and feared myself a scared person. However it was this that brought so much energy about that made anxiety so bad.

So what Jesus taught me to do is to hold His hand and to go to my place of fear and let Him cast out the anxiety and bring new life for me in my anxious being, time and again, until I was strong and confidant enough to face my biggest fear at the time and that was being murdered by my attacker as he threaten he would if I ever squeaked anything about what happened. Right in the middle of a panic attack, with my hairs on my neck and arms literally standing straight up and sweating like a pig, I walked outside and greeted him God's love and peace. I've never had panic attack again though I do still get anxious times.
So learn to eat His grace and forgiveness a fearful person no matter how much you fall, and so you begin to grow thankfulness and love in your fearful self. In this way let Jesus teach you to refuse the guilt, shame and other bad life satan smites at you a fearful person, by learning to look at Christ on The Cross and at you hanging beside Him as the cleansing process goes on. (goes in cycles of roughly 3.5 years,) This will do away with the old way you been doing things and raises youfrom the dead a new beginning time and again, until you are strong enough to cast fear out and suffer your anxious times with Jesus letting Him produce good times and destroying bad life.

Please be of good courage brother. Fear as spiritual enemy is one of the biggest enemies we have to face down in the kingdom of the lie. Remember? Our Lord sweated blood? So us fearful ones have a very important place in the Temple of our God, as fearing the Lord is The Beginning of all Wisdom.

So in His Truth you are awesome brother - instead of just a little weasel as is so often now down in satan's playing field.

Praying you tell satan to shove off during your anxious times and keep your eyes peeled on Jesus bro.

Much love your way.

Isaiah 32:1-4
See, a king will reign in righteousness
and rulers will rule with justice.
Each one will be like a shelter from the wind
and a refuge from the storm,
like streams of water in the desert
and the shadow of a great rock in a thirsty land.

Then the eyes of those who see will no longer be closed,
and the ears of those who hear will listen.
The fearful heart will know and understand,
and the stammering tongue will be fluent and clear.

Feeling lonely. Yvonne and Sam have gone to visit family and are miles away and not back till Sunday.

I'm alive, unfortunately.

Couldn't do it. But I know I'm going to once I find a good way to do it painlessly and a good way so I don't traumatize anyone I value.

My therapist doesn't understand my reasoning. Sometimes death brings the most painful lessons.

Fortunately you are alive. Regardless of what you think about it now or whatever your reasoning may be.

chaoticfirefly said:

I'm alive, unfortunately.

Couldn't do it. But I know I'm going to once I find a good way to do it painlessly and a good way so I don't traumatize anyone I value.

My therapist doesn't understand my reasoning. Sometimes death brings the most painful lessons.

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So very glad to see you back again. Still got good life left. Be careful dear you don't want to think death will bring you your good life back for it is very much the other way around.

Life brings forth more good life

death brings forth decay and delivers dust

I've done severely hurt my back. I can only stand for a minute or two.

Thanks for the prayers. This morning was the worst pain I've ever felt and I've had appendicitis, broken bone, severe sprains, busted head, etc. I've hurt my back before, but this was on a whole new level of pain. It's not really my back, but the nerve that goes from my back to my left foot. It was causing extreme pain. I get pains through this nerve often because of back problems, but this was pain was multiplied by 10. I seem to have a reasonably high pain tolerance level, but this brought me to tears. I haven't cried from pain since I was a child.

I went to the Doctor and then to the hospital and they prescribed me powerful pain medication. It's helping some, but I can still feel the pain.

Feeling tired, downish and alone. Yvonne wont be home until tomorrow afternoon. Have to hang in.

Feeling a little better. Without calming meds I cycle too fast and find it hard to keep up. Hardly any left. i just know satan is prying on me to fall when that happens. The creep got me all these other times, and set me back for years, not looking forward to that if that happens again.

However I have more hope now than ever that Jesus can get me through this time safely and in one piece, for my psychosis is not bothering which always happens otherwise when I run out of calming meds. Plus my rage is only a fraction of what it used to be after Jesus been through me in that self. This should make this ordeal much easier to survive I hope.

I've traveled a long way over the last few months, my speed is dazzling really, as if Jesus is in a tearing hurry all of a sudden. I don't mind!

He has taken me rock bottom, to myself in fallen self all the way down to when sin started in me, it was one long wail let me assure you, i still can't understand how our Lord can love us while we are still sinners the truth of my sin are loathsome to say the least.

Judgment was like i know Him to be - He repays according to deed and He set me free from the wicked slave drivers who had me mastered in those parts of myself and gave me my life back surviving by a hair's breath, unbelievable does Him suffering the truth of my lies get sweaty near the end.

What do we sinners do to our Lord? i'm gnashing my teeth and gnawing my tongue just contemplating His agony and that is voluntary, how will those who hated God fare these moments? The fire will be hot indeed!

Such shame I carry as a willful sinner! I have believed in Jesus most of my life, and have served and loved Him like I have loved no one else, and yet I hurt Him daily fornicating His precious love to feed my unfaithful love, loving my sinful life more than His. How can that be? (I truly shudder the thought, and look down on the one who is underneath all of that misery pulling the strings, hiding there in the dark, the father of all my sins. (Jesus will get him i'm sure of that!)

Such realities cut into me let me assure you friends and have me hanging on to His grace with all I got.

Only one solution and that is to let the wicked be wicked still and the holy be holy still and move onwards. Scary hey, these divisions between the Sheep and the goats?

This i know for sure having seen God's judgment on the wicked in me no evildoer will escape justice, they will all get their just earned reward - all the misery they caused our God in Trinity- our pit their lot! Wont that be greatest? Then we will truly be free to dance again.

I love Jesus so much for saving me. Hallelujah!

Revelation 19:11-21
And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.
His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew, but he himself.
And he was clothed with a vesture dipped in blood: and his name is called The Word of God.
And the armies which were in heaven followed him upon white horses, clothed in fine linen, white and clean.
And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.
And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, King Of Kings, And Lord Of Lords.

And I saw an angel standing in the sun; and he cried with a loud voice, saying to all the fowls that fly in the midst of heaven, Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God;
That ye may eat the flesh of kings, and the flesh of captains, and the flesh of mighty men, and the flesh of horses, and of them that sit on them, and the flesh of all men, both free and bond, both small and great.

And I saw the beast, and the kings of the earth, and their armies, gathered together to make war against him that sat on the horse, and against his army.
And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone.
And the remnant were slain with the sword of him that sat upon the horse, which sword proceeded out of his mouth: and all the fowls were filled with their flesh.

I'm still mostly bed bound at the moment. Still can't stand for more than a minute without extreme pain, but most of the pain has been lessened. Before, I couldn't get comfortable no matter which way I laid down. Atleast now, I'm able to be mostly comfortable laying down.

Mentally, I'm doing fine at the moment. Just having to fight off the usual annoying intrusive thoughts.