I can't find Jesus.

Jesus4Ever

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I'm praying and sometimes crying for Jesus to answer me, or show me or guide me in some way so I can follow Him but I don't get anything from Him.

I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?

I want to be baptized but I don't know where to go, because my family are either non-believers or Catholic or Lutheran, and they don't believe in full- immersion baptism as an adult. And it seems that no church follows everything about Jesus, but only certain parts. So would you say it's okay to go to a church that you don't fully agree with or go to no church at all?

Plus I have to admit that I'm too afraid to talk to people about Jesus. Not only am I shy, but sharing about Jesus almost seems personal...and I am really bad about opening up and being personal face to face. And of course, there are many parts of the message of Jesus that most people don't like. I know my family and friends would scoff and reject what I have to tell them. They wouldn't really listen or take me seriously, because no one ever takes me seriously.


I can't help but think that I need to just leave everything and start anew so I can start my new life with Jesus and properly follow Him. But at the same time, it feels wrong to leave my parents when they did so much for me in my life. At the same time, Jesus also said that if you don't love Him more than your parents, then you can't follow Him. But then I also don't have enough to live on, I never lived on my own yet, and I have no clue where I would go.

I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time and if this seems really lengthy and I'm rambling on, but I just don't know what to do. And now life just seems totally pointless unless I can have a relationship with Jesus.
 

Solomons Porch

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By leaving home it doesn't change your inward issues, that would be running from them, don't run, confront them, deal with them, and since you know what they are, repent and simply apply yourself to stop doing whatever it is. Lots of times we condemn ourselves way more than Christ does, which is a good thing to an extent, but IF YOU REALLY WANNA CHANGE, YOU WILL.

Find a church and pastor that you like and agree with, let the Holy Spirit bear witness to you where to go, don't worry about opening up and speaking, I guarantee it's not as bad as you think it is. Look in the mirror, that's your only competition. God bless you :)
 
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Aleksandros

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You seem to already have a relationship with Him - you just haven't experienced His manifestation yet.

Don't worry. Look:
"Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.”
(John 14:21)

What are your spiritual disciplines like? Do you read and meditate on the Scriptures slowly? That's important to grow closer to Christ.
Prayer, fuelled by reading and meditation, is also important. :)

About your home environment - pray about it. I believe to be in the midst of scoffers is amongst the best places to be - if you learn to rely on God for endurance. He may want you there to grow in holiness and soften their hearts, or to leave.

Never be hasty!
"He who hastens with his feet sins",
(Proverbs 19:2)

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved."
(Psalm 55:22)

"Therefore this is what the LORD God says: "Look! I am laying a foundation stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation (Christ): Whoever believes firmly will not act hastily. (Panic, be troubled, etc)"
(Isaiah 28:16)
 
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SkyWriting

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Sarah G

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Keep praying. Have patience and faith in God's perfect timing. Jesus certainly loves you and has a plan for you. Sometimes we need to mature in our faith a little even though we feel on fire and ready to pack up and go, we need to wait for Jesus to reveal His plan for us.
 
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Mediakira

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I'm praying and sometimes crying for Jesus to answer me, or show me or guide me in some way so I can follow Him but I don't get anything from Him.

I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?

I want to be baptized but I don't know where to go, because my family are either non-believers or Catholic or Lutheran, and they don't believe in full- immersion baptism as an adult. And it seems that no church follows everything about Jesus, but only certain parts. So would you say it's okay to go to a church that you don't fully agree with or go to no church at all?

Plus I have to admit that I'm too afraid to talk to people about Jesus. Not only am I shy, but sharing about Jesus almost seems personal...and I am really bad about opening up and being personal face to face. And of course, there are many parts of the message of Jesus that most people don't like. I know my family and friends would scoff and reject what I have to tell them. They wouldn't really listen or take me seriously, because no one ever takes me seriously.


I can't help but think that I need to just leave everything and start anew so I can start my new life with Jesus and properly follow Him. But at the same time, it feels wrong to leave my parents when they did so much for me in my life. At the same time, Jesus also said that if you don't love Him more than your parents, then you can't follow Him. But then I also don't have enough to live on, I never lived on my own yet, and I have no clue where I would go.

I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time and if this seems really lengthy and I'm rambling on, but I just don't know what to do. And now life just seems totally pointless unless I can have a relationship with Jesus.


The issue is easy... You need to be baptized and let Jesus into you life. He'll start working in you life and your cares. It took me years to sort out what God the Father and Jesus was doing in my life.
 
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paul1149

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I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?

The things you have done are good things. But there seems to be a lot of "I" in there, as in trying to do good things in your own strength. That is a recipe for burnout.

Jesus said that without Him we can do nothing. When we focus on our sins without bringing Him into the picture with us, we will fail. We end up playing whack-a-mole, to the point of exhaustion.

Make sure you're spending intimate personal time with the Holy Trinity. Feed on their goodness and on their Word. Live off the promises, which we are assured are Yes in Christ. And then, in the strength of His might, do battle by the prophecies.

You might give Ephesians a read, particularly chapter 1 and the prayer of Paul in ch. 3. Stay encouraged in the word. Jesus is the good shepherd who goes looking for His sheep. Even if you do lose Him, He will find you. Spend any apparent "downtime" in meditative, if not militant, faith, preparing for what He has for you.
 
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longwait

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You seem to be a young person. You cannot overcome all that you want to overcome overnight. It takes time. We all struggled like you when we were young. Its a very difficult period of life. Jesus is watching you and if you have a desire to please Him then He will be pleased with that. We might not exactly figure it out at first. I hope you will find a church where you can get baptized. Just pray for greater faith and continue in your walk with Him. God Bless.
 
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Kit Sigmon

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I'm praying and sometimes crying for Jesus to answer me, or show me or guide me in some way so I can follow Him but I don't get anything from Him.

Sure you do, it's right there in your Bible...
Psalm 119:105
"Your Word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."



I've given up movies, TV, video games and other meaningless pleasures of the world for Him, however to be honest I still dream or think about them. I've stopped outwardly sinning. Although I still sometimes inwardly sin because I still covet food, regardless if I'm hungry or not. I can't help but getting angry or emotional at my mom sometimes. I'm also still self-centered and selfish, even though I'm trying to be more selfless. And I know I shouldn't feel these things or have these thoughts but you can't know what you're going to be thinking next. So how do I stop sinning inwardly?

The Bible say to renew your mind on God's Word and it also says to put
on the full armor of God...bible study on that here:
Acts 17:11 Bible Study: The Full Armor of God
Study and apply it each day.
Our striving with sin will go on as long as we in these "tents of flesh".
When we fail/sin, we repent and get back to doing what is said in Micah 6:8...
Act justly, show mercy and walk humbly with God(my paraphrasing).
Simply...we're to submit ourselves/our will to God each day.


I want to be baptized but I don't know where to go, because my family are either non-believers or Catholic or Lutheran, and they don't believe in full- immersion baptism as an adult. And it seems that no church follows everything about Jesus, but only certain parts. So would you say it's okay to go to a church that you don't fully agree with or go to no church at all?

There are no perfect churches...and there ain't no perfect believers...
the only one who has never sin be Jesus, and he is perfect....all of us sin-
fall short/miss the mark...we are to repent and resume walking humbly
with the Lord.


You can get another believer to baptize you...that's what the Ethiopian
eunuch did...read about it here: Acts 8:26-40.



Plus I have to admit that I'm too afraid to talk to people about Jesus. Not only am I shy, but sharing about Jesus almost seems personal...and I am really bad about opening up and being personal face to face. And of course, there are many parts of the message of Jesus that most people don't like. I know my family and friends would scoff and reject what I have to tell them. They wouldn't really listen or take me seriously, because no one ever takes me seriously.
In reading your Bible...you will find that Jesus's family members didn't believe him...John 7:5, Mark 3:1-21
Jesus also said this...Matthew 13:57



I can't help but think that I need to just leave everything and start anew so I can start my new life with Jesus and properly follow Him. But at the same time, it feels wrong to leave my parents when they did so much for me in my life. At the same time, Jesus also said that if you don't love Him more than your parents, then you can't follow Him. But then I also don't have enough to live on, I never lived on my own yet, and I have no clue where I would go.

What Jesus said was:
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me; and anyone who does not take up his cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me...Matthew 10: 36-38.


I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time and if this seems really lengthy and I'm rambling on, but I just don't know what to do. And now life just seems totally pointless unless I can have a relationship with Jesus.

It is a blessing to try and help a young believer...such time isn't wasted.
Your relationship with Jesus is between you and Him...you can be in a
relationship with Him right where you are...at home, work, in your car,
while out shopping etc.
Follow Jesus, he demonstrated how to love God, love The Word and showed us how to love(agape) others, how to pray.
When you renew your mind on The Word, and walk in agape and meditate
on what you learn about God and The Word, it's going to come out in
conversation, it's going to show up in what you choose to read, in what
type of music you listen to etc.
The Word of God will change you from the inside out.
It don't happen overnight and it can't be forced...you surrender yourself
to the Lord and follow Him...make a regular practice of reading your Bible.
I would suggest this reading plan for a new believer:

The Gospel of John
The Gospel of Mark
I John
II John
III John
Genesis
Ephesians
Galatians
The Gospel of Luke
The Gospel of Matthew
I Corinthians
II Corinthians
Romans
Psalms
Proverb

You can live for the Lord right where you are...Just as Jesus lived with his family for 30 years before going out and calling the 12 and discipling/teaching them about God and God's Word.

Think about it...
Jesus wasn't believed by his family or many others in his own hometown.
..John 7:5, Mark 3:1-21


Jesus be a man of prayer, so you pray.
Daniel in the Bible prayed three times a day and he was a slave in a pagan
king's court...he had a three believing friends who were faithful to God no
matter what...Daniel also was faithful to God even if it meant losing his life.

It is important to seek out other believers...even if it only be two or three
...it's a start and you can build on that.
Continue praying and seeking God's help in finding a church to connect with.
 
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