Mentally Ill Singles

Welp, I can't see this thread going well.

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And can you see why I thought this thread might not be a good idea? There's a lot of anger and hurt over this topic.

redblue22 said:

What would be a better idea?

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I feel like this is one of those topics that you talk about in a safe and supportive setting, and I'm not sure CF Singles is that. I'm not saying that your intent was bad or that I wouldn't like to be a part of a conversation like this, but I feel like it might have the potential to be more harmful than helpful when it's such personal stuff being shared and discussed in such an open setting. That's just my cautious thought on it, though. I completely also understand the need and desire to be able to open up and talk about this kind of thing. I just would hate for ignorant people to wander in here and cause trouble and more hurt (because that happens in most serious threads on this forum).

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I've considered asking this girl I'm close with bipolar disorder out recently. We both suffer from a mental illness (mine is higher functioning autism though to call it an illness is a stretch i wouldn't change anything about myself) although I feel like she's really needy and I'm not so sure it'll work out.

I just see these topics brought up elsewhere and it always leads to someone getting hurt, angry, or frustrated. Anyone who tries to offer support or help typically gets yelled at for not understanding, or devolves into who is more mentally ill and thus has it worse than everyone else. I think we've all tried our best to be as loving, kind, and understanding as possible to all people here.

We all have something we've battled with our whole lives, whether it's physical, mental, abuse, loss, depression, etc, we've all rallied around our brothers and sisters, tell them we love them, pray for them, forgive them, offer advice and support the best way we know how.

Hi, Red Blue

I thought of how we might discuss if being single could contribute to a person being mentally ill. Professionals, to my knowledge, find that mentally ill people can be helped by not letting themselves get isolated and by sharing with family and friends. And, in my case, my wrong stuff tends to act up, the more I get by myself and mainly concerned about my own self.

And as I get more involved in good sharing with people, love can help me do better. So, I can see that getting into a healthy marriage could help a person be mentally healthy. In my case, I am not married, but I have been involved with a lady who helps me to love and feel for other people; and this has helped me against mentally ill stuff.

But, of course, while I am alone, instead of being isolated with myself, I can be still and quiet and not trust any negative and nasty stuff, but instead trust God to do with me all He pleases, in His peace.

And when paranoid stuff violates me and starts to dominate me, it helps to pray and care for the people I imagine to be a problem for me. And often after this, when I get with those people, God has things going so well to prove that my paranoia can not be trusted.

Also, I did a check list about if I had Asperger's. My mother thought I did. I was a match with a lot of the items . . . especially how they meant I was too into myself and not really caring for and feeling for others. And I know Jesus wants us to love any and all people (Matthew 5:46) and to feel for others (Hebrews 5:2); so I took this to God for correction (Hebrews 12:4-11) . . . how He in His love could change me. And now I have my lady friend

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What insensitive comment?

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Well I'm sorry man. I wouldn't knowingly disrespect you. That wasn't my intention.

Wayholka said:

Yeah, after that insensitive comment Saucy made, I think my contribution to this topic was a mistake. People often sing and dance on how Aspies are incapable of empathy and yet I often wonder if normal people are even capable of the same empathy they expect from us.

Maybe we're just not considered human enough to be empathized with?

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I don't think he meant it in a bad way. Just that this thread could be a breeding ground for more conflict and distrust, you know?

I appreciate what you said. I think you sharing your story helps us understand better where you are coming from, but also how to be more understanding of people who deal with Asperger's as well. I know for me personally I have not known anyone who has it, and so I'd be completely in the dark on how to relate to someone with Asperger's who did come into my life. Your posts help immensely in me being able to understand and relate better to you and anyone else who deals with Asperger's in the future.

You're right too that people who aren't diagnosed with a mental illness aren't necessarily precluded from lacking empathy. Lots of people don't do a great job of empathizing with others. On some level, empathy is a choice. But don't let that be a reflection of you. Your value and worth and who you are isn't determined by what anyone else thinks of you or how anyone else treats you, nor is it defined by your Asperger's. There is way more to who you are than that.

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