Worn out in toxic marriage

Rebecca K · Jul 8, 2017

I'm currently in my second marriage. My first husband cheated on me many, many times. I had three daughters with him. My current husband has also been unfaithful many times (at least 4 because that's what he admits to- I clearly have a type). He hasn't cheated in over a year, and we've been mending that aspect of our relationship. However, over the last year he has been becoming increasingly verbally abusive. Being yelled and cussed at, called names and told how worthless I am on a regular basis is really starting to take it's toll. I've tried everything. I try to just anticipate his needs and make sure he's taken care of so that nothing sets him off, but it can be anything. Today it was because I forgot to buy him more yogurt. I'm just so exhausted. I've lost all joy in life. I'm pretty much stuck here at the moment, as my family are not people I can stay with and I have to provide a home for my daughters (luckily he doesn't do it in front of the girls). And tonight all I could think is that I need prayers. I just feel desperate for prayers now. Prayers that either he'll stop or that I can find a way to get some distance from him or for me to be stronger as I endure it or to find joy despite my situation- really just whatever is God's will in this situation. No matter what direction I go in right now, I need strength from Him. I've been praying for it, but I really felt Him pushing me to reach out for prayers today.

faroukfarouk · Jul 8, 2017

Hi; good to see you; God bless His Word to you. Hebrews 7.25 speaks of the continual intercession of the Lord Jesus on the behalf of all who love Him and trust Him.

tturt · Jul 8, 2017

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Praying for you, your children, and your husband.

HoleyHermit · Jul 8, 2017

Try to make sure that you're not just blinding yourself to opportunities to leave.

Godlovesmetwo · Jul 8, 2017

Rebecca K said:
I try to just anticipate his needs and make sure he's taken care of

That line straight away tells me, you are spoiling him and he's taking advantage of your eagerness to please.
Work on yourself. Your boundaries, how can you have more self-esteem. You deserve basic respect. We all do.
Counselling will help. Your prayers to God should be aimed at making you stronger by pleasing Him (God) not other people.And I think you will please God more by valuing your own life as of equal importance to others.

JCFantasy23 · Jul 8, 2017

I'm sorry for your situation - You're right that toxic relationships are very exhausting. Sent up a prayer for you.

anna ~ grace · Jul 8, 2017

Perhaps this is God's will, in the sense that He is calling you to bring your life competely to Him, and stop trying for happiness through marriages. Marriage in Christ is meant to be a life-long calling. A vocation. Sometimes it is joyful, other times it is like a heavy and painful Cross that He gives us to bear for His sake, out of love for Him and to teach us patience.

Chanticleera · Jul 8, 2017

There is no way anyone should put up with that kind of behavior. I am not married, but I do live with someone who is bipolar. I deal with a lot of crap from her, and take it because I love her (not that way lol. We are besties since 7th grade). But she knows where the lines are - I have marked them clearly.

And one of those lines is personal abuse - either physical or verbal. Just...no. A few times she has gone off the handle, but once it starts getting directed at me I flare up too. Don't take that. I have no problem with someone losing it over being frustrated. I get that. But do NOT attack me on a personal level. Ever. Just....no. Don't let him bully you. It will likely continue to escalate to physical abuse if you don't stop it now.

macek · Jul 8, 2017

Rebecca K said:
I'm currently in my second marriage. My first husband cheated on me many, many times. I had three daughters with him. My current husband has also been unfaithful many times (at least 4 because that's what he admits to- I clearly have a type). He hasn't cheated in over a year, and we've been mending that aspect of our relationship. However, over the last year he has been becoming increasingly verbally abusive. Being yelled and cussed at, called names and told how worthless I am on a regular basis is really starting to take it's toll. I've tried everything. I try to just anticipate his needs and make sure he's taken care of so that nothing sets him off, but it can be anything. Today it was because I forgot to buy him more yogurt. I'm just so exhausted. I've lost all joy in life. I'm pretty much stuck here at the moment, as my family are not people I can stay with and I have to provide a home for my daughters (luckily he doesn't do it in front of the girls). And tonight all I could think is that I need prayers. I just feel desperate for prayers now. Prayers that either he'll stop or that I can find a way to get some distance from him or for me to be stronger as I endure it or to find joy despite my situation- really just whatever is God's will in this situation. No matter what direction I go in right now, I need strength from Him. I've been praying for it, but I really felt Him pushing me to reach out for prayers today.

Sister i am truly sorry for what you are going through. My heart goes to you. I may be presumptious but i see in you that you have a kind and loving heart and wish to be in a loving and supportive relationship where you would serve others with joy. Yours is a high calling and sadly very much unappreciated these days. It really is sad that our families so often fall short of love and understanding of each other. I hope and pray that Jesus can intercede for you and move the heart of your husband and that you find yourself strengthened and loved in our Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus loves you, lean on His shoulder and ask Him for strength to persevere and to find peace in your heart in His name. Also forgive your husband, the moment he gets abusive, say a prayer for him in your heart, forgive and ask for his blessing. Forgiveness heals. Forgive yourself, too.

God bless you and your family, sister in Jesus name. Amen.

Star Dancer · Jul 8, 2017

Prayers to you, your husband and family. :prayer:

servant of Merciful Love · Jul 8, 2017

Lord have mercy ~bless her with strength, hope, joy,love, and healing :crossrc:

rockytopva · Jul 8, 2017

Father I pray blessings on this request and for a victorious life that will bring you glory in Jesus name I pray. Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the bbnradio.org Family Altar program... BBN Program Schedule

Kindled · Jul 8, 2017

Praying!

saved24 · Jul 8, 2017

Praying for strength, wisdom, and a way out. Praying he will find the Lord and turn away from his cruel ways. God bless.

Solomons Porch · Jul 8, 2017

Rebecca I know what you are going through and I will be praying for you in Jesus name

Let it be so Lord Jesus !!

CtC · Jul 9, 2017

Rebecca, a detailed prayer is in my journal for tonight. Just know that He is with you, He created you for more, He will equip you, protect you, and provide for you. Let Him guide your heart, do not hesitate to do what He leads you to do. I stand with you in prayer for His will to be done. God bring the winds of change and please do not delay! Bring peace, love, joy, and comfort great and powerful Father. In Jesus great name! Amen!

Strong Wave · Jul 9, 2017

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I’m praying that our Heavenly Father may bring healing and restoration to your marriage. Remember that God cares about you and your daughters, and He is gracious, merciful, and wise beyond all comprehension. He loves you more than we, as mere human beings, can even imagine. Be sure to stay close to Him through prayer because He is able to provide guidance as you turn to Him for help. Proverbs 3:5-6 gives this wonderful assurance: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.”

What do you think about marriage counseling? You might also want to get a copy of the book titled, Verbal & Emotional Abuse, by June Hunt. It’s available through any online bookstore. The author talks about biblical truths and practical "how-to's" for stopping the pain of abuse--for restoring peace--in all your relationships. God bless you.

Linus · Jul 10, 2017

Lifting you, your daughters and husband up in prayer to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Thank You Lord!

Worn out in toxic marriage

New Member

Fading curmudgeon

Senior Veteran

Active Member

Fringe Catholic

In a Kingdom by the Sea.

Newbie

Active Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Goodbye~God bless

Love to pray! :)

Well-Known Member

Forgiven

Solomon's Porch

Worship is a Lifestyle

Active Member

Senior Veteran

Similar threads