What do you think the opposite sex values/wants in a partner?

RayofSun · Jul 8, 2017

Saucy said:
If we're going based upon experiences, it would be money. Back when I was struggling more, I've had girls who claimed to like me, but wouldn't give me a chance because I wasn't making any money nor did I have my career going. And now that I do, most of the attraction I get seems to be towards that.

I don't know that's a bad thing, as women want security, so I'm not trying to make it a bad thing, but at the same time, I've never been made to felt like I was a special guy by any woman or that they were actually interested in me.

I understand why a lot of men think this. But when I've spoken with friends about this, it seems as though it's not the money but rather the drive and need for someone with similar goals.

For me personally, I don't have a dollar amount or anything insane. But I would like for my husband to have passion, drive and a will to contribute. So having a steady job or actively pursuing a career or education shows those qualities.

Saucy · Jul 8, 2017

RayofSun said:
I understand why a lot of men think this. But when I've spoken with friends about this, it seems as though it's not the money but rather the drive and need for someone with similar goals.

For me personally, I don't have a dollar amount or anything insane. But I would like for my husband to have passion, drive and a will to contribute. So having a steady job or actively pursuing a career or education shows those qualities.

I can agree with that Ray Ray. I also look for a woman who is ambitious. I don't care if she has a career or not, but as long as she's doing something, has goals and hobbies, etc.

But I think their sole deciding factor was whether or not I was making good money at that exact time. I know I've had my issues in the past, so I know that might've played into it, but before my dad died and now, when I was/am 'normal' and healthy, it was always the same thing. I'm considered attractive by most standards. I have a sense of humor, loving, kind, loyal, Christian...by all accounts 'one of the good ones'.

I think maybe God is helping me to prepare for the RIGHT one to come along. I'm not meant for serial dating and I'm a sensitive soul, so I'm just ready to be with the right lady and court her. I don't care if I meet her online or in person, if she lives across the world or next door. I have the money to travel and move if that's where things go. I'm just ready to meet someone who will love me for me and appreciate the good qualities.

It just sucks when you have a lot of good things to offer, and they even say it, but if one thing is off in my life, well I'm just not worth it.

Cearbhall · Jul 8, 2017

RayofSun said:
I understand why a lot of men think this. But when I've spoken with friends about this, it seems as though it's not the money but rather the drive and need for someone with similar goals.

I agree. My dad has less education, less earning potential, and less drive than my mom. It's been the biggest source of friction in their marriage. I refuse to end up in my mom's situation.

Saucy · Jul 8, 2017

Well, they also say that money issues are the number one cause for divorce, and I find that to be absolutely ridiculous.

I can completely understand that women want a stable figure, who has a job and all of that. But marriage is for richer or poorer and both can happen over a lifetime. If my value is tied into whether or not I'm making money, well, that would be tough to handle.

MehGuy · Jul 8, 2017

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I also have some other mental health issues I need to solve before I feel comfortable looking for a relationship. I have both intentionally and unintentionally hurt women before and do not wish to make the same mistakes again. When everything in life is pure trial and error for you, then of course you're going to live a life of constant friction and rejection. It really does a number on you. Unless Jesus comes knocking on my door and heals me from my own personal demons, then I'm afraid I'm going to be a social Lazarus.

Besides, God is offering me something better in Heaven (Isaiah 56:3-5). I think getting a special honor in Heaven for an eternity would be better than a temporary romantic relationship with a woman who only offers conditional love as long as it is convenient for her.

I can sympathize. As a small man I have to read hateful articles about short men. Many reporting studies with glee about how being a short male hurts in the job and dating market. Or articles telling people to beware short men because most of them are bitter. Sadly such articles often come from "progressive anti-fat shaming sjw" circles.

MehGuy · Jul 8, 2017

Saucy said:
Well, they also say that money issues are the number one cause for divorce, and I find that to be absolutely ridiculous.

I can completely understand that women want a stable figure, who has a job and all of that. But marriage is for richer or poorer and both can happen over a lifetime. If my value is tied into whether or not I'm making money, well, that would be tough to handle.

Money does matter. Lol.

Although from your recent posts you landed that good book deal so hopefully your financial future will be bright from now on. On the flip-side while women rejected you for lack of money in the past you can now reject those same women around your age and just date someone who's younger. That's what I typically see happen in those situations where the guy who struggled to make money in his 20s started picking up speed in his 30s. He ends up dating some 23-24 year old woman. Lol.

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat · Jul 8, 2017

Money is fun, for everyone. Except the poor, they should've studied more!

Saucy · Jul 8, 2017

Well, my point isn't that money doesn't matter, but if it makes me look more attractive, or if I look less attractive because of my current money situation, that's not someone I want to be with. I'm trying to be careful how I word this because I'm not trying to paint women as shallow, but just explaining my PERSONAL experiences. It doesn't make me feel good about myself or valuable in a person's eyes if my financial situation is the deciding factor. I know I'm worth more than that.

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat · Jul 8, 2017

Saucy said:
Well, my point isn't that money doesn't matter, but if it makes me look more attractive, or if I look less attractive because of my current money situation, that's not someone I want to be with. I'm trying to be careful how I word this because I'm not trying to paint women as shallow, but just explaining my PERSONAL experiences. It doesn't make me feel good about myself or valuable in a person's eyes if my financial situation is the deciding factor. I know I'm worth more than that.

But you do look better holding 10 grand than without it though

MehGuy · Jul 8, 2017

Saucy said:
Well, my point isn't that money doesn't matter,

Yeah, wasn't responding to you directly but anyone who thinks money doesn't matter.

but if it makes me look more attractive, or if I look less attractive because of my current money situation, that's not someone I want to be with. I'm trying to be careful how I word this because I'm not trying to paint women as shallow, but just explaining my PERSONAL experiences. It doesn't make me feel good about myself or valuable in a person's eyes if my financial situation is the deciding factor. I know I'm worth more than that.

I can understand that. I know of some really well off men and they constantly worry if women are just with them for the money (sadly they often find out they quite are..). That's why I think many men end up playing the shallow game as well and making sure the woman is at least younger and more youthful looking.

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat · Jul 8, 2017

Who would you guys rather go with, the most ugliest woman in the world who is with you for you, or the most beautiful who is with you for your money?

MehGuy · Jul 8, 2017

ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat said:
Who would you guys rather go with, the most ugliest woman in the world who is with you for you, or the most beautiful who is with you for your money?

Wouldn't we be talking elephant man type looks? Lol.

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat · Jul 8, 2017

MehGuy said:
Wouldn't we be talking elephant man type looks? Lol.

Whatever view in your mind is as the ugliest works here.

MehGuy · Jul 8, 2017

ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat said:
Whatever view in your mind is as the ugliest works here.

I'd have to take the beautiful one. Also considering I do not enjoy romantic love in the normal sense.

Saucy · Jul 8, 2017

I refuse to be stuck in a loveless marriage based on money, so I'd rather be with someone who loved me for me. Beauty standards change, our appearance changes, our financial situations flexuate. So, I want real love that will outlast it all and thrive even when times are difficult.

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat · Jul 8, 2017

Saucy said:
I refuse to be stuck in a loveless marriage based on money, so I'd rather be with someone who loved me for me. Beauty standards change, our appearance changes, our financial situations flexuate. So, I want real love that will outlast it all and thrive even when times are difficult.

Trying to impress the ladies on here again I see huh saucy?

Saucy · Jul 8, 2017

I just answered your question honestly. I don't care how others view it.

ImAllLikeOkWaitWat · Jul 8, 2017

Saucy said:
I just answered your question honestly. I don't care how others view it.

Once those checks start rolling in along with the ladies, we'll see

Saucy · Jul 8, 2017

I don't get what your issue is, but I don't appreciate what you're insinuating.

Paulie079 · Jul 8, 2017

ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat said:
Trying to impress the ladies on here again I see huh saucy?

ImAllLikeOkWaitWhat said:
Once those checks start rolling in along with the ladies, we'll see

Never ceases to be true. The insecure ones always have the biggest mouth

What do you think the opposite sex values/wants in a partner?

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King of CF

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King of CF

A member of the less neotenous sex..

A member of the less neotenous sex..

For who can resist his will?

King of CF

For who can resist his will?

A member of the less neotenous sex..

For who can resist his will?

A member of the less neotenous sex..

For who can resist his will?

A member of the less neotenous sex..

King of CF

For who can resist his will?

King of CF

For who can resist his will?

King of CF

Well-Known Member

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