Does God care?

Celticroots

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Hi all.

I'll be 28 in a few weeks. Because of health reasons, I still live with my Mom, although living on my own with support is a goal I am working towards. I've only had one boyfriend whom I broke up with a few years ago. He was a good guy, but after a while, it became clear we weren't right for each other.

I am a Christian, having accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior listening to my audio Bible, and am making a point to deepen my relationship with Him and give my concerns to Him. I also have hobbies-archery, coloring, writing,etc. But I would like a long term relationship with someone eventually. I am no where near ready to get married. I am not completely off the idea, although I keep thinking about my parents' train wreck of a marriage and their divorce. They can't stand each other now.

I want an intimate relationship with someone-sex- but I want to do that in the context of marriage, because I don't need the guilt that comes with sin. But what if marriage isn't what God has in mind for me? Does He even care that, should I marry, I want to make my marriage work? That I don't want to repeat my parents' mistakes? That, if I marry, I want it to be to the person He chose for me? I do believe God showed me that He has someone for me during a really difficult time in my life. I don't feel comfortable going into details.

Does He care about how much this means to me? Is praying for these things stupid?

I feel old even though to most I am still young.
 

Philonous

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Hello,
I don't know anything, really. I think He cares, and I think He wants us to be happy. If something does not feel right to you in your relationships with others, I think this is something you should call out and examine. God can't decide for you who is right for you (in my opinion), but He knows how you feel in your heart, and I think the most important thing right know is that you try to know it too. (I'm sorry if this feels like a lecture or anything, this is not my purpose).
 
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leothelioness

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He absolutely cares. Peter says to "cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you." This has kept me going when I felt defeated and didn't want to pray anymore. Hopefully it gives you the same comfort.

God delights in hearing the concerns of our hearts and, so we should always approach Him in prayer with all humility and confidence that He hears.
 
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timewerx

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God does care about many things, but unfortunately, finding someone to marry isn't one of them.

If you read the New Testament. We actually get relatively negative views of marriage compared to the Old Testament. Like Paul said, it's better to be single, the saints will not marry, etc, etc...

I guess the best advice here is literally don't worry about it whether you'll find someone you'll love or never. The many "good" testimonies you might here you see there's always an underlying objective explanation, nothing remarkable or unbelievable at all. It's just like everyone else, and sooner or later, it is sometimes met with divorce. Christians are no exceptions!
 
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God does care about many things, but unfortunately, finding someone to marry isn't one of them.

If you read the New Testament. We actually get relatively negative views of marriage compared to the Old Testament. Like Paul said, it's better to be single, the saints will not marry, etc, etc...

I guess the best advice here is literally don't worry about it whether you'll find someone you'll love or never. The many "good" testimonies you might here you see there's always an underlying objective explanation, nothing remarkable or unbelievable at all. It's just like everyone else, and sooner or later, it is sometimes met with divorce. Christians are no exceptions!
Dude, you really don't know what you're talking about, and you are leading people away from God.
Try these verses on for size and tell me what you think.


"You search out my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways." -Psalms 139:3
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
 
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timewerx

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Dude, you really don't know what you're talking about, and you are leading people away from God.
Try these verses on for size and tell me what you think.


"You search out my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways." -Psalms 139:3
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Those verses are true.

But it had nothing to do with getting married.

You can also be perfectly happy and doing God's Will while single and even never getting married.
 
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leothelioness

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God does care about many things, but unfortunately, finding someone to marry isn't one of them.

If you read the New Testament. We actually get relatively negative views of marriage compared to the Old Testament. Like Paul said, it's better to be single, the saints will not marry, etc, etc...

I guess the best advice here is literally don't worry about it whether you'll find someone you'll love or never. The many "good" testimonies you might here you see there's always an underlying objective explanation, nothing remarkable or unbelievable at all. It's just like everyone else, and sooner or later, it is sometimes met with divorce. Christians are no exceptions!
With all due respect I think this is terrible, not to mention non-Biblical advice for someone who is already struggling with this issue.

Marriage is held in high esteem in the Church and always has been. Paul was only referring to those who had the gift of celibacy as he did. He commanded those who desired a spouse to be married. He did not condemn them.
 
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Celticroots

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With all due respect I think this is terrible, not to mention non-Biblical advice for someone who is already struggling with this issue.

Marriage is held in high esteem in the Church and always has been. Paul was only referring to those who had the gift of celibacy as he did. He commanded those who desired a spouse to be married. He did not condemn them.

Leo the lioness. Thank you for the post. I posted what I did before I saw this.
 
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timewerx

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With all due respect I think this is terrible, not to mention non-Biblical advice for someone who is already struggling with this issue.

Marriage is held in high esteem in the Church and always has been. Paul was only referring to those who had the gift of celibacy as he did. He commanded those who desired a spouse to be married. He did not condemn them.

I'm not condemning marriage. My exact word is "relatively negative". That is compared to the Old Testament which held a very positive view of marriage.

Not saying marriage is bad in the absolute degree.

I just want to say the fact that marriage is not needed to be happy. Because many people get the wrong expectations and when they do get married, still end up unhappy and later on divorce.

God is not out there to provide the things that makes us happy because often, what makes us happy may not be included in God's plan for us or will not truly make us happy, and often, the same things that unbelievers run after, shouldn't be the same things we should be running after.
 
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timewerx

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And don't worry at all if you are struggling with finding a partner.

The New Testament is not very optimistic in the aspect of marriage. Let's not put too much high optimism on all Christians struggling to find a partner. It's probably the cause of too many Christian singles getting highly frustrated of their situation.

The reality agrees with me here. Find happiness as God would.

There many places we should put our faith on or pray hard about. Worldly things is not in any of them.
 
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If you keep thinking about your parents' failed marriage, and you don't want to repeat their mistakes, then might that be serving as a subconscious mental block against getting married? You can't possibly lose if you don't participate; it's the safest possible option.

Something tells me you believe -- way deep down where even you can't see -- your parent's trainwrecked marriage somehow makes you less-worthy of a husband, or less-apt to be able to pull off a healthy intimate relationship, or maybe both together, and so you subconsciously block/subterfuge any decisions/actions/motion that might move you in the direction of one. (Or maybe I should say, to preserve the context, might expose you to one.) If that's true, then you might subconsciously gravitate toward someone who's wrong for you so things don't work out, and spurn someone who'd be perfect for you. And you may subconsciously behave in ways that would make you appear less-eligible or less-desirable to a man you'd love to have. (Men want a finished, healthy, stable product, not one that appears to be an outlier, or in progress, because where will it be in a year, or five or ten? The risks are too great.)

Having no one in your life is the safe option because it's impossible for a relationship to fail (the way your parents' did) if it doesn't exist in the first place. If this is true, then wouldn't God divert His pipeline of good men elsewhere? I mean, He doesn't want them hurt by broken women, amen?

If I were in your situation, I'd spend a day doing a serious post-mortem on your parents' marriage. Write everything up in a document that describes everything not to do in a relationship. If they did some things right, write those down also. In other words, study your parents' marriage experience to prepare yourself for marriage. Read some relationship books. Start with Laura Schlessinger's "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives", and get the one with the similar title she wrote for men, too. Get wisdom pertaining to relationships. Maybe God's giving you that exercise to complete first, and then He'll send you someone.
 
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LilShepherdBoy

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If you read the New Testament. We actually get relatively negative views of marriage compared to the Old Testament. Like Paul said, it's better to be single, the saints will not marry, etc, etc...

Timewerx, I think you misunderstood Paul's writing in 1 Corinthians 7. God doesn't change His view on marriage from the old testament to the new, His views of everything always stays the same. If the New Testament is anti-marriage, why is Jesus coming for His bride? There's gonna be a huge marriage in heaven soon. How will Abraham's descendants be as countless as the stars if there's no more marriage? You just need to go back and reread Paul's writing in different translations till it's clearly understood.

Use this, Bible Gateway passage: 1 Corinthians 7 - Easy-to-Read Version

And test the spirit. Make sure what comes into your head is in line with other scriptures in the bible. The bible never contradicts itself. The New Testament won't contradict the Old Testament.

Usually it's the devil working his lies in the minds of others. I'm willing to bet the devil doesn't want you to get marry, and all the others that are against marriage. Ever thought about that?
 
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