God doesn't blame you for being a tool for ritual abuse and sacrifice, especially if it was against your will, or if you were programmed. If you have confessed that Christ is your savior, and resurrected to life for the remission of sins - and believe it - then you have security.
Remember, the Hebrews participated in rutial abuses, and sacrificed their own children to gods - under the se practices (ritual satanic abuse is ancient.) But, God still told the Hebrews that He would accept them if they turned away -
the ones who consciously participated in such abominations too!
He has a lot to say about those who consciously participate in those abominations:
The vision of Isaiah the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah.
Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: for the Lord hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, and they have rebelled against me.
The ox knoweth his owner, and the ass his master's crib: but Israel doth not know, my people doth not consider.
Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: they have forsaken the Lord, they have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, they are gone away backward.
Why should ye be stricken any more? ye will revolt more and more: the whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint.
From the sole of the foot even unto the head there is no soundness in it; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment.
Your country is desolate, your cities are burned with fire: your land, strangers devour it in your presence, and it is desolate, as overthrown by strangers.
And the daughter of Zion is left as a cottage in a vineyard, as a lodge in a garden of cucumbers, as a besieged city.
Except the Lord of hosts had left unto us a very small remnant, we should have been as Sodom, and we should have been like unto Gomorrah.
Hear the word of the Lord, ye rulers of Sodom; give ear unto the law of our God, ye people of Gomorrah.
To what purpose is the multitude of your sacrifices unto me? saith the Lord: I am full of the burnt offerings of rams, and the fat of fed beasts; and I delight not in the blood of bullocks, or of lambs, or of he goats.
When ye come to appear before me, who hath required this at your hand, to tread my courts?
Bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination unto me; the new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting.
Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them.
And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood.
Isaiah 1:1-15
But, after all of that, He says this:
Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil;
Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land:
But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of theLord hath spoken it.
Isaiah 1:16-20
I stopped there, because you were a victim, and God says even for the participants who wanted to commit abominations still have hope of forgiveness - if they are able to turn from their actions.
Now, speaking as a human male, if you were my daughter I would fight the entire world to avenge you. He owns the world; if you stay with Him you are redeemed.
So, you are not too dirty for God. You were a victim. He is the God of victims, and He avenges our suffering in completeness - not just in quick happenstance. This may take patience on your part, but even human philosophers can reason that "if you sit by the river long enough, you will see the bodies of your enemies float by. You don't have to do anything.
In terms of recovery, I would suggest finding someone you trust to talk about this -
someone who knows what ritual abuse, sacrifice, occultology and mysticism actually is, and is also a believer of God, and faithful to Him. That last bit is extremely important; you need to be around people who won't scoff at you for saying this, and who have experience in this. You need constructive support, you don't need people marginalizing what happened to you.
I am a born again Christian. I recently became Christian again.
