Prayers to Trust My Wife Again.

ChristopherK · Jun 29, 2017

Hey y'all. I haven't mentioned much of this, because I was focusing on my wrongs towards my wife and chose to love and trust my wife above it all. However, thinking about her committing an emotional affair kinda crept up more into my mind. Reason being is from her Instagram page. Keep in mind, I know this is mere speculation which is why I'm asking for prayer instead of anything else. I'm not going to confront her on it, but am only going to continue focusing on myself and ignore the urge to do things for her like I've said before. Anyway, she has a friend on her Instagram page named 'DJ Kev', and knowing her history, she knew a guy named Kevin who is a DJ from High School and dated him in college before he went off into the military. He came back all kinds of mentally messed up and treated her like crap; cheated on her and everything. They actually broke up a day after she met me in July of 2008. Now I see this guy's name on her IG page and she follows him as well, but his page is private so I can't see anything. I'm asking that you would please pray for my heart and mind to not speculate any further and to let God be my rest and peace as I wait on Him to work and restore our marriage. I have not sought to look outside our marriage this entire time (8 months), and have remained loyal and choose to continue to do so. My flesh has been lured by inappropriate contentography on and off, but I know that's a sinful habit that was instilled in me from my past, but I'm aware of it and don't seek to entertain it. Your prayers are appreciated. Thank you.

Solomons Porch · Jun 29, 2017

That's tough and I understand your pain, will keep you in my prayers and I know you love her. :prayer:

ChristopherK · Jun 29, 2017

I

Solomons Porch said:
That's tough and I understand your pain, will keep you in my prayers and I know you love her.

I definitely do. Thank you sis!

DZoolander · Jun 29, 2017

If you think that's who it is, it's likely your suspicion is correct. In her defense, nearly 10 years is a long time to get over feelings. Generally speaking, absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart apathetic.

After 10 years I'd be willing to give the benefit of the doubt and assume someone was mildly curious about how the other was doing, sent a "hello" and they befriended each other. What matters is what the nature of their online relationship is. MOST people I know don't seem to have strict rules about not befriending exes on social media - especially after a long period of time. I don't - but I know a ton of people that do.

Like my wife has an ex that she dated back in 1996 or so on her facebook page. I don't care. I know that they hadn't spoken for like 15 years, he moved on, he got married, she moved on, she dated 2-3 people in the interim before meeting me, and then we got married.

But - I've also been confronted with situations that were different (which is why I say it's the nature of the contacts/online relationship that matters).

Back in my 20's I was married to someone else for about a year or so. It was a HORRIBLE marriage - and eventually I threw her out (long story - some people here might remember it...lol). One of the things (among many) that really soured me to her was that she started hanging out with some old friend of hers (or so she said).

I've got a really good memory...and when she and I had first started dating years before that....she told me about her first boyfriend. Some guy when she was 15 who had taken her out to a movie, and then once the movie was over tried to molest her in the car before taking her home. She said it traumatized her, and that she never spoke to him again.

Well, after she'd hung out with this friend a couple of times, there were little clues I picked up on that made me think it might be the same dude. So, I asked. Sure enough, it was. Then she gleefully, but crappily asks, "So what, are you trying to tell me who I can or can't be friends with?"

I was getting close to done with the relationship - so my answer was "Certain things I don't think I should have to tell... Whether or not hanging out with some guy who you said molested/nearly raped you ought be one of those things. Let your conscience be your guide."

So, she let her conscience be her guide for the next few months on a number of other things as well, then she found herself booted with divorce papers served. lol

DZoolander · Jun 29, 2017

(oh but back to my thought)... Had she simply "Friended" an individual like that on social media, and that's all it was, I wouldn't have cared. It was the fact that they were actually hanging out and not with full disclosure that I found to be the problem.

That's what I mean by "what is the nature of their friendship?"

ChristopherK · Jun 29, 2017

EZoolander said:
If you think that's who it is, it's likely your suspicion is correct. In her defense, nearly 10 years is a long time to get over feelings. Generally speaking, absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder. It makes the heart apathetic.

After 10 years I'd be willing to give the benefit of the doubt and assume someone was mildly curious about how the other was doing, sent a "hello" and they befriended each other. What matters is what the nature of their online relationship is. MOST people I know don't seem to have strict rules about not befriending exes on social media - especially after a long period of time. I don't - but I know a ton of people that do.

Like my wife has an ex that she dated back in 1996 or so on her facebook page. I don't care. I know that they hadn't spoken for like 15 years, he moved on, he got married, she moved on, she dated 2-3 people in the interim before meeting me, and then we got married.

But - I've also been confronted with situations that were different (which is why I say it's the nature of the contacts/online relationship that matters).

Back in my 20's I was married to someone else for about a year or so. It was a HORRIBLE marriage - and eventually I threw her out (long story - some people here might remember it...lol). One of the things (among many) that really soured me to her was that she started hanging out with some old friend of hers (or so she said).

I've got a really good memory...and when she and I had first started dating years before that....she told me about her first boyfriend. Some guy when she was 15 who had taken her out to a movie, and then once the movie was over tried to molest her in the car before taking her home. She said it traumatized her, and that she never spoke to him again.

Well, after she'd hung out with this friend a couple of times, there were little clues I picked up on that made me think it might be the same dude. So, I asked. Sure enough, it was. Then she gleefully, but crappily asks, "So what, are you trying to tell me who I can or can't be friends with?"

I was getting close to done with the relationship - so my answer was "Certain things I don't think I should have to tell... Whether or not hanging out with some guy who you said molested/nearly raped you ought be one of those things. Let your conscience be your guide."

So, she let her conscience be her guide for the next few months on a number of other things as well, then she found herself booted with divorce papers served. lol

Wow, I'm sorry all that happened too you. I'm sure you took a lot away from it at least.

I took a walk on lunch and was seeking the Lord, and pretty much came to the conclusion that I should wait. She just accepted me back on Instagram and put a picture up of the both of us last week so I believe God is doing something within her, but slowly. All I need to do is remember what God told me which was to let go and trust Him. So that's what I'm going to try to do. I just need prayer to keep my heart open to trusting her. If anything, I'd rather her get the courage to tell me instead of live in a perpetual state of adultery. I'm praying that's not the case though.

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Prayers to Trust My Wife Again.

ChristopherK

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Solomons Porch

Solomon's Porch

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ChristopherK

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DZoolander

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DZoolander

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ChristopherK

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