Young Christian Male Struggling with Faith In todays world

chrisxxcc said:

I just meant teach me haha i didnt take offense any advice is welcome even harsh ones. I dont have much experience with women but the older you get the less women are going to put up with

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I agree with working on whats inside before you get married.

Also, to add on to my post... The more Jesus Christ heals your spirit, the less desperate for romance/sex you become. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership... we often lust with our emotions (and physically) towards the opposite sex- do NOT do that, it only leads to heart ache. I am finally learning to "ignore" girls that can be dangerous to my heart or that try to come on to me. Learning to give up "flirting" and let Jesus heal your soul is truly the only way to do it

Jesus said "Seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness above ALL ELSE (including romance) and THEN all these things shall be added unto you"(marriage, career, or whatever else God has for you)

Fish Catcher Jim said:

It's not Gods job to stop these things of the flesh. It's your Job!!

Try spending your time according to the following and forget about girls.
Blessings
FCJ

Galatians 5:16 and Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Romans 12:2 ....
And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God

(( Get His word in you each and every day and speak His word each and every day ))

2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4... For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to pulling down strong holds
5... Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

(( Begin to practice the words you speak and thoughts you think for our thoughts and words to control how we act or react and believe. Our own words do more do influence our thinking then most of everything else. ))

Galatians 5:16
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh

(( The more you do the first two the more you will begin to walk in the Spirit and you will be amazed to say the least. ))

All done through the Grace of God who maketh all grace abound to me. (2Corinthians 9:8)
Blessings and love in Christ
FCJ

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Greetings @Caliber81
You rated this as funny, care to explain why you think God's ways are funny
Blessings

First of all I would concentrate on getting closer to God. You said in one post that you dont go to Church much. It might be an ideas to fond a good one to go to where you fell you fit in. Spend time in the Word. The flesh is in a battle with the Spirit and by gratifying the flesh and denying the Spirit you are allowing this conflict in yourself which is driving the desire. I know as I have been there. It may never go away unless God chooses to deliver you from it but it will get easier.

When you do get married it is fairly important to marry someone with similar levels of desire to yourself, but other than that should not be a key part of why you marry someone. I believe God gives us freedom to choose who we marry although he does warn against being unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Many Christians are though, but you need to ask yourself if being married to someone who thinks you should put them before God while being a believer in a God who says you should put Him first.

Read John 13:6-10

As a Christian who has been saved, you have "had a bath" and need to "wash your feet". Assuming you are born again (John 3:3) ask God to strengthen you ad help you get this under a bit more control and I believe He will do so through the Holy Spirit.

chrisxxcc said:

Hello thank you for the response and everyone else as well I truly appretiate all this advice I never would have expected to recieve such heart felt answers. What does this mean and how do i do it "our problem is you have yet to die to your sins. You are still holding on to your past life".

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Start with where I said what you do is this... then pretty much the rest of the post.

try fasting bro, sometimes i dont sin for eeks at a time and sometimes i end up sinning twice a day in the same matter you described. when you look closer at the physical side of our bodies and how they work, your body has 2 modes really for survival. one is fight or flight, the other is feed and breed. so when your full of [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ty food, especially in this day and age where we have all kinds of crap to eat at our disposal, our bodies are satisfied and they start produing sexual hormones as a result.

how do you think the sages overcame this? whetehr you look at jesus and his way, or some of the other practices around the world who focus on defeating desire in this world, you have to fast man. its the only way. it will keep your body from producing insatiable amounts of hormones that you simply cannot deal with. not to mention fasting brings you closer to the lord and also will help you lose ait, and it teaches patience and discipline which will really help in many other areas where you battle yourself. try it. its not easy though ill tell you that. good luck bruh, and just know every single guy on thsi planet has to eal with this [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], not just you. its hard

rather a private subject but i believe masturbation, albeit not a perfect solution, would be better than rushing and praying for a wife, because once your hormones are relieved by that strategy you may quickly or eventually find out she is not the one, have children by that time, and now you will be stuck in misery and regret, again become angry at God, maybe eventually divorce and rip apart a family, which is never good for the kids.

On another note, once i was attending a very legalistic church for a while (over many years i have experimented with many churches) and they put such fear into me that i managed not to touch or have sex for six months. Paul at one point talks about it, and says that the Spirit is enough to relieve or overcome the thorn in his flesh. i remember once i was sleeping and was struggling with some sex related dream, i think, but felt the Spirit come over my flesh and neutralise all my yearnings. it was quite an amazing sensation actually.

inevitably, however, i lived in prague at the time, in the most atheistic nation in the world, hanging out with my friends in red painted bars, and one night i walked out of one of them and practically screamed up to heaven demanding a female partner. "Ask and you shall receive", God said with a sneer.
Sure enough, the most beautiful girlfriend i've ever had walked into my life, but it turned out to be a seven month relationship of absolute torment. i learned my lesson, and do appreciate that God has a good sense of humour.

it's gonna be best for you and women in general that you keep away from the opposite sex until you mature in the area of how you value women.

masturbation and frequenting prostitutes is a sign that you have reduced women to sexual objects. thinking marriage will quell these desires is like thinking gasoline will put out a fire. when a female is nothing more to you than a way to scratch a sexual itch, it's not gonna go well. a wife will satisfy you for a time but after you have conquered that sexual mountain you will simply look for the next sexual high.

there's also idolatry going on here in that you are angry at God for not giving you this thing that you want. in most cases, God will withhold these things from us that we have made into idols. as one who claims to be a follower of Christ, your desire and delight should be in Him. when you have this desire for God you have peace in whatever life circumstances you may have.

you should ask yourself, as one who claims to be a follower of Christ, what makes you fit to raise a family and be a spiritual leader to them? you should be working on this right now as being a head of household is a great responsibility. these hormones we have are supposed to be things that motivate us to evolve into manhood which will make us suitable for the opposite sex.

contrary to popular opinion, manhood is not having chest hair, drinking, swearing, and chasing women. quite frankly, being horny and thirsty doesn't mean you're ready for marriage. can you support a family? can you lead them spiritually in teaching them scripture and setting a godly example for your wife and your children? if you can't answer yes to these, you're not ready to even be propositioning the opposite sex for anything.

THE W said:

it's gonna be best for you and women in general that you keep away from the opposite sex until you mature in the area of how you value women.

masturbation and frequenting prostitutes is a sign that you have reduced women to sexual objects. thinking marriage will quell these desires is like thinking gasoline will put out a fire. when a female is nothing more to you than a way to scratch a sexual itch, it's not gonna go well. a wife will satisfy you for a time but after you have conquered that sexual mountain you will simply look for the next sexual high.

there's also idolatry going on here in that you are angry at God for not giving you this thing that you want. in most cases, God will withhold these things from us that we have made into idols. as one who claims to be a follower of Christ, your desire and delight should be in Him. when you have this desire for God you have peace in whatever life circumstances you may have.

you should ask yourself, as one who claims to be a follower of Christ, what makes you fit to raise a family and be a spiritual leader to them? you should be working on this right now as being a head of household is a great responsibility. these hormones we have are supposed to be things that motivate us to evolve into manhood which will make us suitable for the opposite sex.

contrary to popular opinion, manhood is not having chest hair, drinking, swearing, and chasing women. quite frankly, being horny and thirsty doesn't mean you're ready for marriage. can you support a family? can you lead them spiritually in teaching them scripture and setting a godly example for your wife and your children? if you can't answer yes to these, you're not ready to even be propositioning the opposite sex for anything.

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That was so awesome....i wish more men had this view....it speaks hope to me...thank you

Hi Chris,

#1. Not going to church is a HUGE problem. This is the source of many of your issues. Join a church. Go regularly. Join a youth group. Don't find excuses not to do this. Just do it. This is critical.
#2. Once you join a church you'll find yourself obtaining a degree of wisdom about getting your life in order. For example, I'm pretty confident you need to limit your internet time and exchange internet time for regular exercise and youth group activities.
#3. If you are unhappy in your current situation you WILL also be unhappy if you find a girl and get married. Find peace in your situation through God and communion with Christ. Once you find peace in your current situation you will be happier in any situation and may be ready to date/marry.
God has a plan for us. It's up to us to find His will and follow His path. This path will lead to contentment and peace.
#4. (non-spiritual advice). Go out into the real world and join volunteer groups. Exercise. Disconnect your internet.

THE W said:

you should be working on this right now as being a head of household is a great responsibility.

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Thank you for this mature view of women and marriage, very refreshing to hear and something I am working on

chrisxxcc said:

First off I want to thank anyone who responds to this thread in bid to give me some advice on how to tackle my problems. I am a 22 year old single male living in the united states very often i struggle with my faith and keeping the commandments, most notably those of not commiting adultery. I Feel as this problem has caused a great rift between me and god.Let me explain all my life I have never had much luck with women and this has caused my relationship with god to strain. I often get angry and bitter in life becuase I am single. The way the world is I see all of these other people who are good looking and have sex, relationships, love and what not. I struggle with the sin of envy. To top it off i learned its a sin to not touch here is the problem when i dont touch for days my hormones spin out of control and I literally flirt with many women Id go so far as to say at one point I ask out a women once a day. To combat this for years I would for years mastubate to curve this desire. But its like a cycle of pain you fall into sin no matter what you do. I am not meant to be single I need a companion, being single and having all of this difficulty has really strained my relaltionship with god and sometimes i get so lonley that i visit prostitute 2 times. I have prayed many times for god to give me a wife to relieve me of all this temptation. Here is a good analogy none of us can truly comprehend god and his plans. The way i look at it im like a dog and my owner even though he has the food in the cabinet he wont put the food in the bowl and im left here in my non comprehnension and confusion as to why he wont put he food there im lost. Im not meant to go through life alone and I think one day god will give me a wife but im telling you I want out of this situation. I just want a wife so I can honor god and have children and raise them to be good people while having my desire for sex to be fullfilled in the chrisitan way. Why is god letting this cycle of pain continue im like a broken record with him i just keep asking to fall in love so I dont have to deal with this sin anymore but he just wont answer he knows this isnt going to work out me being single. Also to top it off the way women dress now a days is utterly and completly appalling I appretiate the female form but danm these women dress half naked! I obvioulsy get excited and that leads to further sin its a vicious cycle of uneeded torment for me. What is the point of this how do i deal with this. God gave me all these hormones but its like i have to keep myself down. The way i can do that is to touch but that isnt clean in the eyes of god what is the way out of this. The way out as i see it is a wife i dont see any other way out or i could kill myself but that just leads to hell. Its a cycle of hassle that i just dont want to deal with. once again how can a christian male survive in a world like this and do right by god

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I'm also a raging heterosexual! My first and only marriage was at 35. Before that I thought, "Oh great, the gift of celibacy".

Masturbation is not a biblical subject--Thank God! Because, blue balls suck and can be dangerous! The problem is the inappropriate content induced fantasy so, avoid that like the plague.

Be patient, God is omniscience and knows what He's doing and knows what you need.

She is going to be so awesome dude!

Other than that, keep yourself busy. When I was your age, I surfed nearly everyday; worked; practiced and played guitar in a punk rock band; wrote music and studied a lot of theology. Somehow I survived! We all did. You will to.

I tell you a secret--sex with your wife, without masturbation in your life, inappropriate content or fantasy in your heart is thee best [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] in the universe! So good, you will wonder why it didn't just kill you! If anyone calls me a liar, I say--well then, how many times have you tried it?!

More advice: Your thing is as stupid as a bottle of shampoo--wash, rinse, repeat. However, all women are different and multiple partners makes you a lousy lover until you unlearn. Always be her best lover. That will take practice. If you don't know how, ask. And, how shall I put this...don't water the garden until you smell all the beautiful flowers!

Hey Chris. I feel your struggles. I came from a life of inappropriate contentography before coming to Christ, but the temptations still come and I've failed plenty of times. It's the getting back up and persistent pursuit of perseverance in Christ that matters.

Honestly, I think you're in a good place to use this time for yourself to be built in Him before committing to a spouse. I got married when I just turned 25, but I was still learning how to lead my home and be a God honoring husband. You have that opportunity to do all of that beforehand. My wife has seen me at my best and worst while dealing with me learning how to grow in Christ. I'm not saying you won't be seen at your worst by your spouse, but you may have for maturity under your belt than myself when you do (God willing) get married.

Try to always ask yourself in every situation, "What is God showing me? What is He seeking to do within me?" Even reading the responses to this thread it has been extremely encouraging and revealing for me personally. Thank you for your honesty. God be with you!

Your issue is that you desire a relationship with Women more than a relationship with God. Pleasing your flesh, right now, have greater importance than pleasing the spirit. All you have to so is reverse these things that you will be all set. God will withhold NO GOOD THING from them who walketh upright.

Now for some RayVerbs:
-You have to stop wanting a wife/GF, before you can find one.
-You and you wife are chasing each other at the same speed at opposite ends of a circle. One of you has to stop for the other to catch up......else you both will be chasing forever....

Haipule said:

I'm also a raging heterosexual! My first and only marriage was at 35. Before that I thought, "Oh great, the gift of celibacy".

Masturbation is not a biblical subject--Thank God! Because, blue balls suck and can be dangerous! The problem is the inappropriate content induced fantasy so, avoid that like the plague.

Be patient, God is omniscience and knows what He's doing and knows what you need.

She is going to be so awesome dude!

Other than that, keep yourself busy. When I was your age, I surfed nearly everyday; worked; practiced and played guitar in a punk rock band; wrote music and studied a lot of theology. Somehow I survived! We all did. You will to.

I tell you a secret--sex with your wife, without masturbation in your life, inappropriate content or fantasy in your heart is thee best [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] in the universe! So good, you will wonder why it didn't just kill you! If anyone calls me a liar, I say--well then, how many times have you tried it?!

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This is the best advice on this thread.

I understand your struggle. I also feel like I lost all my purity but suicide is not the answer that is what judas did because satan told him he will never have a good future like all the other disciples to me that I have stumbled many non Christians. God can actually restore purity. He does not remember the past. If a person repents it means he proves that he really believes in righteousness and hates evil.

St Mary is actually not more loved to jesus than any of His true disciples though she may be more honoured. As He said who is My mother and brother ? He who does the will of God

The bible says in the world you will have tribulation. Satan and the world have asked God to sift you as wheat. They say you have protected him from evil all these years and will you crown him with purity and declare him righteous without Him even proving His love to You ? You see the disciples themselves at the beginning were probably protected from trials when they first accepted Jesus. Jesus said can the disciples mourn while the bridegroom is with them ? The world and false believers in the church are the tares they will try to make you feel all alone and not given any love from them and make it seem because you are disobeying God

Therefore once we have suffered enough from these temptations like Job God will restore us

God can restore our purity. David says He makes us whiter than snow

God can convert us and make us as little children. Only the pure in heart shall see God

Hold fast that no one may take your crown.

I do not know if God will eventually deliver any without their struggle but we know He makes intercession for us as it is said be of good cheer I have overcome the world. He can give power

It doesn't matter when we finally become pure as long as we are but we should consider we have to repent urgently

Some like Joyce Meyer believe we don't need victory to be saved but scriptures clearly teach it is wrong. I can understand she may say that in response to excessive works based salvation but it is still wrong. The bible says only the pure in heart shall see God and without holiness no one will see the Lord

I think in response I hope after God has given us a chance to prove we are righteous even if we fail He will still give us opportunity to prove we atleast love Him by making it harder to sin be being inclined to come to Him and read His word yet we can still ignore the great help and love sin more

The righteous always try to do all the commandments of God but they forget all the good they do and say we are unworthy slaves not knowing what their right hand is doing and so they seek to be justified by grace

If our first impulse when we see God is to say to Him all the good we did and the mighty works He will say I do not know you. We should feel empty like the wise virgins who never thought they did enough. Unfortunately such humility and obedience I do not have now and it needs a lot of inner work. Even the demons believe and tremble. And showing my knowledge and not doing could be a stumbling block. Also teaching others may lead to people praising which leads to pride or devil fighting which can lead to non repentance
On the other hand the one who is faithful over his talent was ready to bring that up to God. The problem may be that they preached but did not repent but I believe one can be glad of the work God done in him but still not feel worthy of forgiveness because of his many sins and not sure if he was sufficiently pleasing to God but asks for mercy because of Jesus not feeling he could ever earn it
Should we hide our knowledge sometimes just as Jesus said hide your virtues or you receive men's praise but nothing from God ? Because perhaps what makes God save you is that you suffered from others so you did not receive your good things here. And God likes that because it helps people repent
and is also part of your repentance ?

The bible says let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity

If I am still in bondage to sin or I don't know how to remain free I am not permitted to preach on all matters because I could be wrong or I may choose the wrong approach

As Christians we must avoid all fornication as is fitting for saints. A little leaven leavens the whole lump and can bring judgement on us for not condemning it not that we should judge and be personally offended and snubbish. Someone who knows about someone's sin and commits it also puts himself in perhaps worse situation. That probably is why 23000 fell in one day for those who commited fornication once because they didn't care how bad they are to the world but together had no respect for God but I could be wrong and it is God who decides when to apply it

mikeforjesus said:

Some like Joyce Meyer believe we don't need victory to be saved but scriptures clearly teach it is wrong. I can understand she may say that in response to excessive works based salvation but it is still wrong. The bible says only the pure in heart shall see God and without holiness no one will see the Lord

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Actually you have scriptures mixed up and put where they should not.

Truth.....John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Scripture says anyone at any time may be saved.
After you get saved you develop a pure heart.

IDK why the thread took a hard left regarding holiness, but yeah, our holiness is something we receive through sanctification through the power of the Holy Spirit. It's a daily process until we get to the LORD's dwelling when our bodes die. Salvation is through faith alone in the saving work of Jesus Christ. Our evidence of salvation is just like evidence of an apple tree...we produce fruit that verifies our salvation.