I did not say you were guilty of both, I said that is the root of that teaching. Gnostic does not simply mean knowledge as you suppose. Occult means hidden knowledge and Gnostic's believe they have some special knowledge that is somehow beyond what is in scriptures.....Gnostic's are truly deceived and I see more and more of the Gnostic doctrine being put forth these days, off topic and rather large topic.
I understand what you are conveying. I was the same 20 years ago, so I know what you feel. If you sought and came to that conclusion, being a skeptic though Orthodox thought is still better than total ignorance of God the Father (world). If you go by what others say, or what men teach you, I'm sorry you follow others.
But to address your "special knowledge" comment, there is NO special knowledge. There is knowledge and there is ignorance. People hear Secret books and believe that they are secret from the seeker. They are not. Once the spirit is understood, the secret books are for the spiritually knowledgeable who understand and not for the world that doesn't understand. They compliment the Gospel and take nothing away or mislead (Gospel). They were circulating in the first two centuries when the Hebrew Scriptures were never a part of Christs Gospel message. Once the Catholics combined the OT and New, the non Canon Gospels were eliminated because they went against the OT while being in chorus with the Gospel. Jesus explains this in the full chapters of John 6,8 and 10 as well as many of Pauls words.
The Catholic orthodoxy has repaired the veil, and gave truth back to control by men, just as the Pharisee's.
Jesus said, "The pharisees and the scribes have taken the keys of knowledge (gnosis) and hidden them. They themselves have not entered, nor have they allowed to enter those who wish to. You, however, be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves."- Thomas
Gospel of Mary:
10) I said to Him, Lord, how does he who sees the vision see it, through the soul or through the spirit?
11) The Savior answered and said, He does not see through the soul nor through the spirit, but the mind that is between the two that is what sees the vision
Your Bible tells you this (Gospel) yet people don't see it because they don't know themselves.
The mind is where knowledge resides. On one side, is the soul tethered to the body. It was given by one god, who Jesus called the liar and murderer. It was dying from the beginning due to imperfection.
The other side of the mind is the spirit (attained from the Tree of Knowledge). Once accepted, the spirit is tethered to God the Father. Two gods. Both vying for the soul (the flesh profits nothing, John 8).
Jesus came to give us all knowledge of truth to save our soul. The spirit in us communes with the Holy Spirit of God. So many pray in asking, but few sit in (physical) silence to listen.
This is why Paul says: For we wrestle not against
flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.-Ephesians
In other words, the mind.
Many believe the Holy Spirit speaks only through the Bible. That men tamed her to remain in a box they choose.
In the end, the spirit saves the soul, or it returns to God without it.
I say this not to change your mind, but to only respond so as maybe one person may seek whether this is truth for them or not.
Remember: The non canon books glorify Christ Jesus. How can I not be on his part?
Mark 9:
38 And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he followeth not us.
39 But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me.
40 For he that is not against us is on our part.
41 For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.
Just because I'm not "in your club of beliefs" doesn't mean Christ is not my savior as well. My perception of truth elates me and I learn to accept death, never fearing it, because it is the beginning, not the end.