Making my husband feel loved

First of all, start praying for help from God. Then cultivate love in your heart.

Communicate...take a few minutes when he gets home from work to ask him about his day, before you start telling him about everything that went on at home. Not knowing your husband, if he's had a bad day let him vent, or give him his space until he's ready to talk about it. This also plays into the respect that others have mentioned.

Make time for the two of you...even if it's just a half an hour or so after the kids have gone to bed to watch a favorite tv show together. Also, if you have a reliable babysitter, or family that lives locally, work it out so you can have one night to yourselves every few weeks...you're parents, and that's your number one job right now, but you're also a married couple that loves one another, and you need to be able to have that special time when it's just the two of you...it really goes a long way. Your husband may or may not be the romantic type, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want time with you alone every now and then...remember, you chose each other...the children, as important as they are, are the product of that bond, not what holds the bond together.

Let him have time to himself...which I know is hard when there are little ones, but sometimes we need to hang out with the guys, or go fishing, or whatever he likes to do...and, hopefully, he will return the favor, because you need your time as well.

Let him know he's appreciated...do something for him that lets him know you value him and what he does as a husband and father. You know what he likes. And it doesn't have to be anything big, of course...my wife will sometimes stop on her way home and bring me a bag of peanut M&Ms and a Dr. Pepper...just because, and honestly, that means just as much as when she bought me my handgun last Christmas.

So I'm sure some folks reading this may think these are all things a man should be doing for his wife...and while that's true, I believe the road goes both ways. A lot of people want to say guys are just very basic, and things that play on their emotions don't get to them...I don't believe that at all, we may not react the same way women do, but the way we're treated by others means just as much to us...we want to feel loved, respected, valued and appreciated...and really, I think that's what everyone wants.

Fourtimesblessed said:

And ideas on how to show/communicate respect are appreciated too

Click to expand...

praise him for the things he does well, or the things you know he doesn't enjoy but does because he's a good husband or father. Don't argue with him in front of the kids when he tries to discipline them or bring up things he may not be the best at in front of other people.

Fourtimesblessed said:

need to do this even when I don't feel like it!

Click to expand...

A warm smile can do a lot for a guy.

So can thanking him for his hard work and dedication in providing for you and the children.

forgot to post Scripture for post #13
"To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband." Eph 5:33

I'm going to be blunt and say the thing most are to embarrassed to say...

Make SURE you make time to have sex with him. Work can be going horrible, he can feel over whelmed with all of life's responsibilities, but having sex with you, makes all that more bearable. It shows love, it shows respect, and it shows you want to meet his needs (and not just the needs of your kids or the rest of life).

Try to maintain date nights. Get a sitter for the kids and go out just the 2 of you.

I think others have given great advice already in showing appreciation and making time for just the two of you.

Lot of great ideas already and I will try and add a couple more. This is old fashioned but a hand written love letter.

Little things can matter as well. A hug for no reason at all. If you text each other during the day a verse from song of Solomon out of the blue. Cooking his favorite meal when he isn't expecting it. Their are certain scents that wife knows I like. She would put a little on just for me. We weren't going out or anywhere. She did and does cause she knows I enjoy it.
Be spontaneous and have fun with it.

I often say to my wife "You are the best woman I have ever married."

We have been married 15 years, and raised 6 children, only one left at home.
My wife has time now for the baking me treats and thanking me for working hard for the family, but I am a more touchy feely kind of guy.
It still makes my day when she unexpectedly puts her arms around me and just says, " I love you".
For me, it's just the little things, a small note stashed in my lunch pail makes a long hard day bouncing in a cement mixer that much more enjoyable !

I saw another man say we desire respect from our wives which is true. I'd write him a letter explaining how much you appreciate him, and why. It would go a long way. It means a lot, because in our culture today, men are always cast aside and looked at as replaceable because of our hyper-feminized post-modernism. If you gave him a note showing why you respect him it would be a huge confidence boost to him I'm sure. I'd give a lot to get that from my wife.

ChristopherK said:

I saw another man say we desire respect from our wives which is true.

Click to expand...

Sorry.....but that's a pet peeve of mine....we can't separate love from respect or we end up with condescension, patronizing, and a superficial kind of rule-following relationship like what one has with their employer...not what's appropriate for marriage (but, unfortunately, we can't discuss that freely in this forum---we'd have to take that discussion to the Egalitarian Christian sub-forum). .

Bragging on him on social media is always good, in my opinion

mkgal1 said:

Sorry.....but that's a pet peeve of mine....we can't separate love from respect or we end up with condescension, patronizing, and a superficial kind of rule-following relationship like what one has with their employer...not what's appropriate for marriage (but, unfortunately, we can't discuss that freely in this forum---we'd have to take that discussion to the Egalitarian Christian sub-forum). .

Click to expand...

I think you're interpreting the word 'respect' from today's cultural standpoint and not the biblical context of the verse I was referencing. I think knowing that would help in avoiding assumptions.

Ephesians 5:33 uses the word 'respect' (Gk. anēr) to refer to the role of male to female. Both sexes have different responsibilities in marriage which Paul was referencing. This has nothing to do with an authoritarian husband overruling his wife, because the Ephesians 5 husband is one who love his wife as Christ loves the Church; that's the example. If you replace that with your own 'pet peeve's' you're only adding what isn't referenced in the text. I hope this helps a bit.

ChristopherK said:

I think knowing that would help in avoiding assumptions.

Click to expand...

ChristopherK said:

Both sexes have different responsibilities in marriage which Paul was referencing.

Click to expand...

Both genders are to love with respect/honor their spouse. The Bible has to be read as a whole---not taking out a few verses and making a doctrine out of that. That's about all I can say about that (here). It's not based on any assumption on my part (more like loads of experience)......but love cannot be separated from respect (they are entwined together in a marital relationship).

ChristopherK said:

I hope this helps a bit.

Click to expand...

Why is that funny? (That's a rhetorical question ....you don't have to answer).

mkgal1 said:

Both genders are to love with respect/honor their spouse. The Bible has to be read as a whole---not taking out a few verses and making a doctrine out of that. That's about all I can say about that (here). It's not based on any assumption on my part (more like loads of experience)......but love cannot be separated from respect (they are entwined together in a marital relationship).

Click to expand...

I agree the Word needs to be read as a whole. I didn't take anything out of context. You're right that both the husband and wife should respect each other. So you agree with my original point. I wasn't trying to separate love and respect, because love shows respect.

What I originally intended to mean with mentioning respect is that when a husband receives affirmation from his wife about the choices he's made for the family, what he does for his wife/kids, how he conducts himself in character and virtue, etc. it goes a long way. To a man, the words of his wife have immense power to build up or destroy. So as a recommendation, words of affirmation or writing a note to a husband regarding what he's done for the family/wife or how he conducts himself would be greatly appreciated.