I would love to tell you that Jesus is the reason why I'm still here... well in a way he was but I didn't fully turn to him when I was hurting and depressed.
Here we go... I would like to think that I've had a history of depression from a young age. Let's start at the beginning... as far as I can remember my parents were never happy and always fought. When I was 11 my brother called the cops on my dad for hitting my mom. My dad was always harsh on my brother too. I had to seek family counseling through it all and was given a choice on the spot with my mom in the room if I wanted to see my dad. I didn't say anything so they assumed I didn't want to but really I did and didn't want to say it in front of my mom.
Years went on when I thought of my dad and wanted to seek him out however my dad ended up seeking me out at my work. He would ask me how things were and such. But then I found out he was using me to not have to pay support money for my brother since he wasn't going to school. I was mad at him and stopped talking to him for a while.
By this time I was preparing to go to university and started having a relationship with my dad but found it hard because I didn't trust him much. First year was fine and then 2nd year hit and I was starting to feel lonely. By 2nd semester in 2nd year I became depressed where I didn't think I was worthy to be alive. My one teen coworker committed suicide and my friend attempted suicide. After that I spiraled downhill and stopped wanting to live, do school, etc. I did cut several times, now leaving several scars on my arms. I had a couple of suicide attempts by taking sleeping pills but still survived because I believe now that there is a reason why he saved me. I thought of seeking God and Jesus several times but never really reached out enough or to change my thinking.
After that rough year I found my now husband who made me happy and feel worthy of living. He's been by my side for 8 years now. We've had a roller-coaster of emotions at times but always got through it together.
We both have moments of sadness but also glad we have each other. We haven't been able to have our child yet and some days that is hard while others not so much. We have our faith now and have a plan to foster when we get older if we don't have our own.
That is my story and hope it inspires others to believe in Jesus and understand that he always has a plan for everyone. I work lead customer care worker at an animal shelter. I help animals find their forever homes.
Here we go... I would like to think that I've had a history of depression from a young age. Let's start at the beginning... as far as I can remember my parents were never happy and always fought. When I was 11 my brother called the cops on my dad for hitting my mom. My dad was always harsh on my brother too. I had to seek family counseling through it all and was given a choice on the spot with my mom in the room if I wanted to see my dad. I didn't say anything so they assumed I didn't want to but really I did and didn't want to say it in front of my mom.
Years went on when I thought of my dad and wanted to seek him out however my dad ended up seeking me out at my work. He would ask me how things were and such. But then I found out he was using me to not have to pay support money for my brother since he wasn't going to school. I was mad at him and stopped talking to him for a while.
By this time I was preparing to go to university and started having a relationship with my dad but found it hard because I didn't trust him much. First year was fine and then 2nd year hit and I was starting to feel lonely. By 2nd semester in 2nd year I became depressed where I didn't think I was worthy to be alive. My one teen coworker committed suicide and my friend attempted suicide. After that I spiraled downhill and stopped wanting to live, do school, etc. I did cut several times, now leaving several scars on my arms. I had a couple of suicide attempts by taking sleeping pills but still survived because I believe now that there is a reason why he saved me. I thought of seeking God and Jesus several times but never really reached out enough or to change my thinking.
After that rough year I found my now husband who made me happy and feel worthy of living. He's been by my side for 8 years now. We've had a roller-coaster of emotions at times but always got through it together.
We both have moments of sadness but also glad we have each other. We haven't been able to have our child yet and some days that is hard while others not so much. We have our faith now and have a plan to foster when we get older if we don't have our own.
That is my story and hope it inspires others to believe in Jesus and understand that he always has a plan for everyone. I work lead customer care worker at an animal shelter. I help animals find their forever homes.
