Divorced Christians who remarry....

Okay I would like to get some opinions and possibly some advice for a dear sister in the Lord.

Here's some back ground on her:  She was raised in a Christian home.  She married while in college and was very unhappy and divorced.  I don't know much about the marriage other than it was not good and I don't think there was a biblical reason for divorce to my knowledge, like adultery, etc.

She has now remarried, attending church and has a new baby.  She is deeply concerned that she is still considered an adulterer in God's eyes because she knew what the word said about divorce and marrying someone divorced.

Is she still considered an adulterer?

Does God's grace and mercy cover this premeditated sin?

I would love to bring peace and comfort to her heart if you could provide some scripture along with advice.

 
 

straightforward

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I had to deal with this question the first time my son (7 at the time) dug into his bible. I myself was divorced and have since re-married. I think God expects us to learn from our mistakes. I was not strong with the Lord when I got my divorce...if I was I might have done things differently. I have heard that when the bible says that it is wrong to leave your marriage partner it also could imply 'putting aside' your wife/husband...without a legit. divorce...and going off with someone else. I don't know if that is true or not. God does hate divorce but He does not say He hates the person that divorces. What I do know is that He loves us and forgives us. He puts up the "fences" or rules (I don't want to get to legalistic here) to keep us safe from alot of pain. Anyone who has been in a divorce who really took the marriage serious to begin with knows the pain it causes. Whether it was a good marriage or not...in spirit they were one. The pain of divorce has to do with the actual tearing apart of what has been made one. This is something she needs to take up with God...He forgives...he comforts the broken...His grace is is bigger than any of us can imagine (I know I'm not quoting chapter and verse but I have definetly never seen one that says "if you do this it's too big for my grace to cover"...nothing is too big for him to take care of if we want him to). He also, for the believer, can make our biggest mistakes into good.
 
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Hi straightforward, I know exactly where you're coming from. I too am divorced and remarried. But, I wasn't walking in the Lord at the time of my divorced or when I remarried. It was about six months after my marriage that I gave my life back to the Lord. Then I struggled with whether or not I was in adultery too and whether He wanted me to divorce and stay single. For the life of me, I can't remember what gave me peace about my marriage and God's grace and mercy. But, I am still married and serving the Lord and I know without a shadow of a doubt that He loves me.
 
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Dewjunkie

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My wife and I were both married before, and we were not at all Christians when we got together. We have since given our lives back to God, and trust that he has forgiven us of ALL of our sins. Of course God hates divorce, it's a sin and God hates sin. But He loves us. God doesn't pick and choose what sins to forgive. If you ask sincerely, then go on living a faithful (to God and new spouse) life, God will forgive you, bless you and love you all the same. As hard as it is for us to fathom, the Bible says God forgets our sins once they've been forgiven. All sins.
 
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My thing is was this lady a believer back then ? Just because one is raised in a Christian home doesn't neccessarily mean a person has actually given their lives over to Christ. And was her spouse back then a believer ? If he wasn't she doesn't have any obligation. If she wasn't she doesn't have any obligation.

But let me just point out the bible says the only sin that cannot be forgiven is Blasphemey of the HS so if she was a believer and got remarried without following the stipulations in the bible, she can be forgiven.

If anyone wants actual scriptures for what I am saying. I can easily provide them..just say so.

Missy
 
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MetalBlade

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Wow, I have no clue. I believe that since Jesus died for our sins then she is forgiven for remarrying and as long as she is a christian and saved then she is okay. But I really don't know the true answer. Hope she and everyone who is in this situation may find peace in the Lord! :pray:
 
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Amy

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Well, with those who got divorced and/or remarried before coming to Christ, it seems pretty clear: they get redeemed and forgiven, with all their sins washed away.

With Christians who get divorced being Christians, I honestly do not know. I've been to a church once where the pastor said he wouldn't marry a couple if one of them is divorced, and I have to admit he made sense. I also know of a Christian man whose wife had left him, and he chose to stay single, because, he would say, God is serious about marriage and adultery, and He still considers me married. His wife died years later, and only after that he remarried. I think the man showed remarkable faithfulness and respect to God's law.

I am in no way saying that there's no forgiveness for Christians who do remarry, I just wanted to share that example.
 
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seebs

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I have always assumed that remarriage is a one-time sin, not a recurring one. I sure hope so; I'm a second husband. So, while perhaps we *shouldn't* have gotten married, we *did*, and we are now married.

I mean, no one would say that, because murder is immoral, someone you murder isn't actually dead, or continue to treat each time that person doesn't show up for work as a whole new crime. Even assuming that a divorce was immoral, or a remarriage was immoral, once it's done, it *is* done, and the world has thus been changed.

The injunction against divorce doesn't mean you *can't*, it means you *shouldn't*.
 
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fairyshyone

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I am wondering about this myself. I have been divorced but I was not a christian at the time. I had left the church and was anything but close to the Lord. Now I am remarried and I have been for 9 years. I also have been with this man for 13 years. He is very good to me in material things. I never want for much of anything. The problem is when I need him most emotionally he never seems to be there. I am really trying hard to be a good christian and wife but I am having problems with understanding if I should stay married or not. My daughter is also being affected by all of this and not for the good. Just pray for me and my family and marriage, please. Thanks,
Sherri
 
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Hi Everyone,

My friend said she knew when she got re-married the bible considered it wrong. I think she's always considered herself a christian because she's always believed in the Lord. The thing is, is that she hasn't always walked in the Lord or pursued the relationship to the Lord. Isn't there a scripture that talks about premeditated sin not being forgiven because it's like recrucifying Christ? I think this is one of them that has her concerned also.

This is a really tough one. I know that God has promised to forgive our sins when we ask, no matter what (except the one unforgiveable sin). I'll just have to continue to pray that God will bring her peace to her situation.
 
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Yesterday at 08:33 PM fairyshyone said this in Post #9

I am wondering about this myself. I have been divorced but I was not a christian at the time. I had left the church and was anything but close to the Lord. Now I am remarried and I have been for 9 years. I also have been with this man for 13 years. He is very good to me in material things. I never want for much of anything. The problem is when I need him most emotionally he never seems to be there. I am really trying hard to be a good christian and wife but I am having problems with understanding if I should stay married or not. My daughter is also being affected by all of this and not for the good. Just pray for me and my family and marriage, please. Thanks,
Sherri


Hi fairyshyone, have you read the book by Stormie O'Martin called the Power of a Praying Wife?  I have to warn you though, it hits you pretty hard because it talks about us changing before the God changes the man.  Are you being abused in anyway?  I mean does he verbally or physically abuse you?  If so, then you need to separate from him.  If not, then seek God with all of your heart, He can change the situation.  Some men have a really hard time meeting emotional needs maybe because of their own upbringing.  For instance, my stepfather still to this day, 36 years later, has a really hard time hugging or saying he loves us.  He didn't receive a lot of that growing up and he doesn't know how to show how he feels.  I praise God for him though, he has been wonderful provider and a good-good father.  He is still trying to figure out a few things, but I wouldn't trade him in for the world.  One thing is my mother never talk about him in a bad way, she would just try to help him or us when we had difficulties with our relationships.  We had the utmost respect for him, because she did.

God loves this man and sees him as something to hang on to, so I will pray that God will reveal the true situation behind him not being there emotionally for you, in faith that God will change the situation.

FaithtoFaith
 
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