Compulsive lying

as a teenager i made huge stories about everything. when i got older and put myself in therepy, i told my therepist. he said it is a coping behavior. i was making things up because coping with the truth was awful and getting attention was important. i grew out of it as i got older. my family knows about most of it. no one really cares. i mean they aren't shocked. turns out, everybody knew it anyway. lol. i've had a rough life. all we can do is keep moving forward. forgive yourself.

I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Philippians 3:13​

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If they are true Christians and Jesus is really in their life they wont hate you, but be glad that you have admitted your sin and now can begin to forgive yourself. God has already forgiven you, but you need to realise that you ARE forgiven and forgive yourself.

Remember that you are loved by God, and those walking with Jesus should also love you unconditionally because that is what is called of us. We are called to love the person and look past the sin.

You have been forgiven your slate is wiped clean so it is with humans also. God bless you for admitting your wrong doings.

goldenviolet said:

as a teenager i made huge stories about everything. when i got older and put myself in therepy, i told my therepist. he said it is a coping behavior. i was making things up because coping with the truth was awful and getting attention was important. i grew out of it as i got older. my family knows about most of it. no one really cares. i mean they aren't shocked. turns out, everybody knew it anyway. lol. i've had a rough life. all we can do is keep moving forward. forgive yourself.

I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Philippians 3:13​

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Wish I knew the answer. We have an 11 year old daughter who is a complusive liar. I don't mean little white lies or tall tales. I mean "someone's going to jail" type of lying. The last 4 years have been pure _ell for us. I praise God for his wisdom and strength.

I am glad to say that she is doing better after we found the right therepist. Basically he told us the same thing about her. We adopted her through foster care and she too had a rough life. I am so thakful she is doing better. We love her so much but she was trying to push us away with all the lies (stealing too). All we can do is keep moving forward. She knows we love her, forgive her and we are in this together.

SusieQ84 said:

OK, this is an incredibly bad sin, so I hate to bring it up, but I really don't know where to go for help.

I used to be a compulsive liar...when I was 17 till I was 19...I have since overcome it due to coming to know God, having a daughter, and just 'growing up'.

I feel like admitting this sin will only make everyone I know (or don't know) hate me....it is such a horrible thing to lie, I know it, everyone knows it. I feel so guilty every day, and it just haunts me all the time, all my past lies don't escape me. I feel so terrible for everything I lied about and don't know how to make it right.

I want to go to the people and apologize, but I feel like telling them the things I told them were dishonest will only hurt them more. What should I do? I know the right thing to do is to tell them, but I don't know how to go about it without really hurting them. It was only a few people who I don't even have contact with anymore, but it still plagues me all the time.

Also, does anyone else suffer from this? I am so ashamed of it, and I feel like I'm the only one. I feel like lying is an addiction, but unlike other addictions it is so looked down upon. You can google 'sex addiction' or 'alcohol addiction' and get tons of support groups and answers, you type in anything about lying or compulsive lying or pathological liars and there aren't any support groups, advice, or anything, just a bunch of people talking about how they hate pathological liars. I need help, and that's why I'm bringing it up here. I know what I did is wrong, I've asked forgiveness so many times, but it still haunts me all the time. I just want to move past it. Can anyone offer me some advice? Has anyone been through this?

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Hi Suzie!

Being Orthodox I have the advantage of being able to go to my Priest and confess to Christ with him as a witness and have him remind me by the prayers he says outloud that God is good and loving and forgiving.

But just because confession isn't a part of the regular structure of your church doesn't mean that your minister wouldn't agree to have a counseling session with you and wher you can confess to Christ again in a prayer with your minister and have your minister show you how much you are loved and forgiven by Christ!

There is a great healing to talk to someone who understands how to hear about our sins and not be judgemental. Ministers and Priest are exactly the right people to turn to when we are tormented with doubts about our forgiveness!

It is generally a good idea when we have sinned to try to rectify the damage we have caused. However, we have a responsibility to do this in such a way that we do not cause more harm to the other person.

Therefore, I suggest from what you said in your post that it would probably not be helpful for you to go to the people who you have no contact with now and tell them the truth about your lies in the past. It is wrong, imo, to cause them more hurt or any hurt. Think also about your motives for going to them....

are those motives because it is what is good for them?

Or are they because you think that telling them the truth will help you feel better?

Or, even, do you want to do this to punish yourself?

I ask these questions because if you are going to them with any motive other than to do something that is good for them and you know you might hurt them than it is a bad idea.

I said a lie to my Priest about something. (Yep... I am NOT perfect! big surprise ) It was about a minor thing. He asked if I had returned a book to the church library. I just said "yes" when in fact I was not sure if I had or not and when I came home I saw the book. I called him up and told him that I didn't know why I said "yes" when I knew that I was not really sure and could have easily said "I will check" or "I don't know"

My motive for telling him the truth about the lie was that I didn't want a history with him in which I had lied. I didn't want the guilt. Also, I wanted to apologize right away and not let it dwell inside of me. Of course I confessed my sin to Christ too!

That is entirely different than going to a person who is no longer my friend and telling them about something that happened many years ago that no longer even effects them.

I guess in a nutshell my message is this: don't make more pain while trying to clean up for past mistakes!

If you lie now, immediately own up to it. That is one of the best ways to stop that habit. Also find a real life accountability person who you call whenever you have lied about something and that way you have someone who will push you to admit it right away to the person you lied to. But let the past stuff go.

(Confess those past stuff to Christ and he forgives! Remember that we are to forgive ourselves too!)

past is the past.....
You really need to forgive yourself first before seeking forgivness of others...
the fact that you feel so badly and are punishing yourself so strongly is pennace enough..wouldnt you agree?

I simply say Give it to god and seek his forgiveness, and with that you need to make peace within yourself

I feel so guilty every day, and it just haunts me all the time, all my past lies don't escape me. I feel so terrible for everything

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STOP IT

"My Grace is sufficient for thee" Paul/Saul had KILLED people just for being a christian. Some say his thorn was visiting cat houses in Corinth, some say a unbelieving wife, We are never told EXACTLY Paul's thorn was only that he prayed for God to remove it 3 times and "Grace" was God's answer.

God's grace is sufficient for you as well. Guilt is the enemies way of entry into our minds. "Go and sin no more" That woman did not have to go around and apologize to every wife of the men she had slept with (which would have caused those women shame and embarrassment) she was just to Go and Stop doing what she had been doing wrong.

12 Step programs have a step where you go and MAKE AMENDS to those you have wronged; except when to do so would injure them or others.

Your sins are forgiven, if you hold on to guilt and remember then you make void forgiveness.

Let go---and LET GOD!

PACKY said:

past is the past.....
You really need to forgive yourself first before seeking forgivness of others...
the fact that you feel so badly and are punishing yourself so strongly is pennace enough..wouldnt you agree?

I simply say Give it to god and seek his forgiveness, and with that you need to make peace within yourself

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This is an excellent point! You need to forgive yourself. My daughter needed to also and learning to forgive herself helped a lot. She knows God always forgives but forgiving yourself is sometimes harder.

SusieQ84 said:

OK, this is an incredibly bad sin, so I hate to bring it up, but I really don't know where to go for help.

I used to be a compulsive liar...when I was 17 till I was 19...I have since overcome it due to coming to know God, having a daughter, and just 'growing up'.

I feel like admitting this sin will only make everyone I know (or don't know) hate me....it is such a horrible thing to lie, I know it, everyone knows it. I feel so guilty every day, and it just haunts me all the time, all my past lies don't escape me. I feel so terrible for everything I lied about and don't know how to make it right.

I want to go to the people and apologize, but I feel like telling them the things I told them were dishonest will only hurt them more. What should I do? I know the right thing to do is to tell them, but I don't know how to go about it without really hurting them. It was only a few people who I don't even have contact with anymore, but it still plagues me all the time.

Also, does anyone else suffer from this? I am so ashamed of it, and I feel like I'm the only one. I feel like lying is an addiction, but unlike other addictions it is so looked down upon. You can google 'sex addiction' or 'alcohol addiction' and get tons of support groups and answers, you type in anything about lying or compulsive lying or pathological liars and there aren't any support groups, advice, or anything, just a bunch of people talking about how they hate pathological liars. I need help, and that's why I'm bringing it up here. I know what I did is wrong, I've asked forgiveness so many times, but it still haunts me all the time. I just want to move past it. Can anyone offer me some advice? Has anyone been through this?

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Sin is sin in God's eyes. If you have gone to God asking for forgiveness for the lies you told and then repented, then you have to believe He heard you, believe He has forgiven you, accept His forgiveness, then forgive yourself. Forgiving ourselves can be the hardest step to overcome because the enemy loves to throw our past in our faces. If you've ever seen Lion King, do you remember the scene when the monkey hit Simba over the head and Simba yelled at the monkey telling him it hurt. The monkey told him, it doesn't matter because it's in the past. When we don't release our pasts to God and embrace the fact that all of those negative habits, things, situations, etc is what turned us to God we will remain in bondage to our past. Instead of allowing the enemy to play with your mind, making you feel unworthy of God's love, forgiveness, etc. You need to tell the enemy he is a liar and that you bless the Lord for every wrong decision you've every made, for every lie that you told, because if you wouldn't have made those mistakes you would of never realized just how much you need God.

Now personally I lied to get my way, to keep out of trouble, etc. I'll never forget that my step-father told me that a good liar always remembers their lies so that they don't get caught in them. I was such a good liar that I believed my own lies - not how crazy is that. You are talking to the former queen of lies, but that was the old me, that creature has been put to rest, I'm a new creature in Christ Jesus and SO ARE YOU!!!

Another thing, we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the power of our testimony. When you get to the point that you can share what God has brought you from - baby you have truly overcome. It's at this point that you could care less what people say about you or think what you did. Your main focus will be sharing what God did for you so that God can use your testimony to free someone else!!!

Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk further.

God Bless and continue to press!!!

Lately, I have been hiding things and have been telling stories as well. I have deceived the people in my family and have not been very and totally straight with anyone. I am feeling sorry and remorseful for what I have done and though I do, those relatives still are angry because of my deceit. I don't blame them as I brought it upon myself, though I am promising to make it up to them. I have been praying very much over the last two days because I am sorry and I am hoping that our Heavenly Father, through his son Jesus Christ, can and has forgiven me, but I still feel miserable.

This morning, after Bible study class in church, I talked with my pastor about what I have done and there was an element of sadness in my eyes as I was crying a little as I was telling him the terrible wrong that I did. This morning was also Holy Communion Sunday in my church and I also shared with the pastor that I was thinking of not attending the worship service and also, that I didn't feel worthy of receiving the sacrament of Holy Communion due to my terribly sinful things, but he assured me that I should still share in it and that he saw that I was a repentant person with an equally repentant heart. We prayed and then, the worship service followed and though I did attend and shared in the sacrament, I still didn't feel any better. There was a charity chicken lunch after the service and though I initially and politely said No Thanks when somebody offered, but the already informed me that it was already bought, so I went and had it. Still, I don't feel any better as a result of what I have done. I know it will take a very long time for amends to be made, I still want to, although these particular relatives have refused to believe it. I am hoping that in time, the rift between us will heal and I can come back into good graces with them. I also need prayers from all of you. Thanks for them.

Some have seen a therapist. I suggest you try that too if you can. Or an older, wise, caring perosn yu can really trust.

John
NZ