Hi,
I have been struggling with social anxiety for most of my life. I believe my background has caused most of the social anxiety for me. I'm reaching out, because naturally it is very difficult for me to open up to others about my social anxiety. There have been some times when I opened up with my previous churches' pastors and they were not very understanding and pretty much just told me to go to more of the women's bible studies and that I'd overcome my social anxiety. (If only it were THAT easy!) Every time I went, almost none of the ladies would include me in conversation. Since then I've changed churches by God's guidance and my new church is much more grace-filled and the ladies there have included me more (although no deep friendships have resulted, as usual). And so I have had trauma of being misunderstood on top of already struggling with social anxiety. I feel very alone in my struggle... part of me thinks that others may be struggling in the same way, but I just haven't talked to many people who do. I desperately need to know that I am not alone.
I have a very difficult time connecting to other people. In group settings, it's very easy for me to be overlooked and not included. God has certainly been at work, because until a few months ago, I didn't realize how perfectly He loves me. Living daily in this new realization of His love has relieved a lot of my general anxiety. Which is amazing and I rejoice in His work! But my social anxiety is still there and it's something I'm praying about and feel sure God will help me, but I desperately need connection with other people.
For years, I have these types of thoughts: "I don't belong. I am an outcast. I'm not accepted. Other people don't care about me." There are times that I've felt so disconnected from other people that I seriously wondered if I was actually human. That is the degree to which I have suffered in my thoughts.
In social situations it is not unusual for me to have a racing pulse, sweat extra, hold my muscles rigid, clench my jaw, etc. I do it without even realizing it and I try to be aware so as not to put myself into pain as later I will often have a headache or muscle pain from it. (I also have health problems.)
It greatly pains me that the topics I most want to hear on is very rarely spoken on in church or by other Christians. (Social anxiety/rejection/feeling alone) One lady author, Lysa TerKeurst, is an exception as when I read her book "Uninvited" it helped start a healing process in me in regards to my relationship with God. I praise Him for that. But even finding blogs or online articles about the immense pain of social anxiety is very hard to find. Is that because those who struggle with social anxiety hide it away and are afraid to share about it?
It often feels like no one else is struggling as deeply as I am with these thoughts and feelings. I see other people all the time talking easily with other people and making friendships. It's like other people just know what to say and how to act naturally. When I get in group social situations, it's very common for me to feel "frozen" in place, both physically and mentally, and not know who to talk to or what to say. I desperately want to connect with other people, but it just doesn't seem like many other people want to connect with me. I am more of a 'deep' person than a surface conversationalist, although I can chit-chat to some degree. I take an active interest in other people and their lives. I am a compassionate and sensitive person.
I grew up in a Christian cult (which most people have never even heard of) and then when I was 19 years old, God opened my eyes and delivered me out of that legalistic cult to walk in His grace. God has been at work in my life since I was 12 years old when He saved me. I've been reading scripture since that age. (I'm in my late 20's.) Being in the cult made me feel VERY different from other people. The women in the group were required to be legalistic on the outside (skirts/dresses, long hair, no jewelry, etc) and they had an exclusive mindset. Another thing is that my mother was emotionally and mentally abusive to me in my childhood years causing me a lot of pain; some of it has resolved and some still lingers. (My mom and I have a good relationship now.) Also, I was home-schooled for a few years and thus I was never part of junior high or high school; I graduated early and started college early. So I didn't exactly have a typical upbringing. I was already a shy and timid person as a child and all these things pushed me further into social anxiety.
I would appreciate loving Christian feedback.. you have no idea how much it would mean to me to have you reach out to me.
I have been struggling with social anxiety for most of my life. I believe my background has caused most of the social anxiety for me. I'm reaching out, because naturally it is very difficult for me to open up to others about my social anxiety. There have been some times when I opened up with my previous churches' pastors and they were not very understanding and pretty much just told me to go to more of the women's bible studies and that I'd overcome my social anxiety. (If only it were THAT easy!) Every time I went, almost none of the ladies would include me in conversation. Since then I've changed churches by God's guidance and my new church is much more grace-filled and the ladies there have included me more (although no deep friendships have resulted, as usual). And so I have had trauma of being misunderstood on top of already struggling with social anxiety. I feel very alone in my struggle... part of me thinks that others may be struggling in the same way, but I just haven't talked to many people who do. I desperately need to know that I am not alone.
I have a very difficult time connecting to other people. In group settings, it's very easy for me to be overlooked and not included. God has certainly been at work, because until a few months ago, I didn't realize how perfectly He loves me. Living daily in this new realization of His love has relieved a lot of my general anxiety. Which is amazing and I rejoice in His work! But my social anxiety is still there and it's something I'm praying about and feel sure God will help me, but I desperately need connection with other people.
For years, I have these types of thoughts: "I don't belong. I am an outcast. I'm not accepted. Other people don't care about me." There are times that I've felt so disconnected from other people that I seriously wondered if I was actually human. That is the degree to which I have suffered in my thoughts.
In social situations it is not unusual for me to have a racing pulse, sweat extra, hold my muscles rigid, clench my jaw, etc. I do it without even realizing it and I try to be aware so as not to put myself into pain as later I will often have a headache or muscle pain from it. (I also have health problems.)
It greatly pains me that the topics I most want to hear on is very rarely spoken on in church or by other Christians. (Social anxiety/rejection/feeling alone) One lady author, Lysa TerKeurst, is an exception as when I read her book "Uninvited" it helped start a healing process in me in regards to my relationship with God. I praise Him for that. But even finding blogs or online articles about the immense pain of social anxiety is very hard to find. Is that because those who struggle with social anxiety hide it away and are afraid to share about it?
It often feels like no one else is struggling as deeply as I am with these thoughts and feelings. I see other people all the time talking easily with other people and making friendships. It's like other people just know what to say and how to act naturally. When I get in group social situations, it's very common for me to feel "frozen" in place, both physically and mentally, and not know who to talk to or what to say. I desperately want to connect with other people, but it just doesn't seem like many other people want to connect with me. I am more of a 'deep' person than a surface conversationalist, although I can chit-chat to some degree. I take an active interest in other people and their lives. I am a compassionate and sensitive person.
I grew up in a Christian cult (which most people have never even heard of) and then when I was 19 years old, God opened my eyes and delivered me out of that legalistic cult to walk in His grace. God has been at work in my life since I was 12 years old when He saved me. I've been reading scripture since that age. (I'm in my late 20's.) Being in the cult made me feel VERY different from other people. The women in the group were required to be legalistic on the outside (skirts/dresses, long hair, no jewelry, etc) and they had an exclusive mindset. Another thing is that my mother was emotionally and mentally abusive to me in my childhood years causing me a lot of pain; some of it has resolved and some still lingers. (My mom and I have a good relationship now.) Also, I was home-schooled for a few years and thus I was never part of junior high or high school; I graduated early and started college early. So I didn't exactly have a typical upbringing. I was already a shy and timid person as a child and all these things pushed me further into social anxiety.
I would appreciate loving Christian feedback.. you have no idea how much it would mean to me to have you reach out to me.