- Jan 22, 2011
- 22,090
- 5,106
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
How do you deal with this? Especially if its another christian wanting you to do something that you don't want to do.
This is what happened. We had a local writers group retreat last year, which was fine I organised it initially and was able to secure a place through another church friend. It was not expensive and six of us could go.
Then another one was planned for this year by the committee inviting all members from everywhere, not just our group, but it turns out it's quite expensive and far away so not everyone can go.
So I was asked by one member if we could have our own retreat at the same place again around this time of year. She isn't planning on going to the comittee led one if we can have a cheaper one with just our group. So we had a meeting (i was unable to attend) and but it turns out nobody can really go at that time except her. However she told me that four could go, it's only when I checked that I found the other two could NOT go. Then she had asked me before if it was only two of us could we still go, and at first I said yes but now I have second thoughts, so I told her I have second thoughts and not a good idea, wait till we all can go but she seems determined to go if only two of us. There is no wifi there so can't do my writing online and I'm really suspecting she just wants to go at all costs and doesn't care that I've changed my mind.
Then she kind of took my writing I had given to the group to be read and tabled (critiqued) and told me on the phone I could get it off her at the retreat. ?! I told her no please post it, but she had no right to take my writing I hadn't asked her and I'm thinking she took it to manipulate me into going. arrgh!
I have told my church friend who owns the place we not having a retreat as not really good for just two of us it was meant to be for the whole group. She was ok with it.
But I now have to tell this other friend its been cancelled. How will I handle it if she's miffed or mad at me. I tried telling her I had second thoughts but she kind of ignored me. I just know if I'm alone with her (for a weekend retreat) she will kind of boss me around. I now have other things on but she seemed kind of pushy and rushing me to ask my friend with the place and then ask everyone else. She's done this sort of thing before and sometimes I wonder if I should not go to this group anymore while she's there. A shame cos I get along with everyone else. They had some trouble with her too, but she's been in it from the beginning. Is this controlling, bullying behaviour how do you deal with it. I've been told be firm, but she's been so sneaky!
I think my fault is I just did what she asked or maybe didn't think it would be a problem at first if only two of us could go cos she was really insistent and I caved under pressure. I should have said at first if not enough people go, we not having it, and been real firm. I don't like the way she kind of lied to me pretending others could go when they hadn't actually said so.
Some biblical advice.
This is what happened. We had a local writers group retreat last year, which was fine I organised it initially and was able to secure a place through another church friend. It was not expensive and six of us could go.
Then another one was planned for this year by the committee inviting all members from everywhere, not just our group, but it turns out it's quite expensive and far away so not everyone can go.
So I was asked by one member if we could have our own retreat at the same place again around this time of year. She isn't planning on going to the comittee led one if we can have a cheaper one with just our group. So we had a meeting (i was unable to attend) and but it turns out nobody can really go at that time except her. However she told me that four could go, it's only when I checked that I found the other two could NOT go. Then she had asked me before if it was only two of us could we still go, and at first I said yes but now I have second thoughts, so I told her I have second thoughts and not a good idea, wait till we all can go but she seems determined to go if only two of us. There is no wifi there so can't do my writing online and I'm really suspecting she just wants to go at all costs and doesn't care that I've changed my mind.
Then she kind of took my writing I had given to the group to be read and tabled (critiqued) and told me on the phone I could get it off her at the retreat. ?! I told her no please post it, but she had no right to take my writing I hadn't asked her and I'm thinking she took it to manipulate me into going. arrgh!
I have told my church friend who owns the place we not having a retreat as not really good for just two of us it was meant to be for the whole group. She was ok with it.
But I now have to tell this other friend its been cancelled. How will I handle it if she's miffed or mad at me. I tried telling her I had second thoughts but she kind of ignored me. I just know if I'm alone with her (for a weekend retreat) she will kind of boss me around. I now have other things on but she seemed kind of pushy and rushing me to ask my friend with the place and then ask everyone else. She's done this sort of thing before and sometimes I wonder if I should not go to this group anymore while she's there. A shame cos I get along with everyone else. They had some trouble with her too, but she's been in it from the beginning. Is this controlling, bullying behaviour how do you deal with it. I've been told be firm, but she's been so sneaky!
I think my fault is I just did what she asked or maybe didn't think it would be a problem at first if only two of us could go cos she was really insistent and I caved under pressure. I should have said at first if not enough people go, we not having it, and been real firm. I don't like the way she kind of lied to me pretending others could go when they hadn't actually said so.
Some biblical advice.