My lazy attempts to seek the Lord are either motivated by fear of hell or done out of guilt. I sometimes feel guilty for ignoring God so I pray. I don't seek him because I love him or want him. I seek him out of selfish ambition. I've asked that he help change my perspective on him so that I can love and trust him but my heart has grown harder against him. Are my attempts to seek him in vain?
Your profile states that you are a Christian. So my reply will be according to that.
Why are you paying any attention to you're fear of hell? If you are a Christian, then your citizenship is in heaven.
As for guilt.. well, everyone experiences that at one time or another. But guilt occurs because you have a perfectly working conscience to tell you when you've done wrong.
When you say that you don't seek God because you love Him or want Him.. what are you basing that on?.. feelings?
The love that has been planted in the heart of the believer is there as a tiny seed that must be nurtured in order that it will develope.
The word of God is spiritual food that must be eaten in order that the Christian grow in grace and the knowledge of the Lord.
If you are saved and don't feel like you love God, then it's a matter of remembering your moment of getting saved with words of thanksgiving unto God. To reminisce about that joyful event.
And if you don't feel any desire to read God's word, then it's a matter of finding the answer in God's word to deal with that by making it your confession. "I delight in the law of the Lord according to my inner man."
God's word is also like seed that needs to be planted so that in the right environment it will grow and produce fruit. The admonishment is "Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you."
A change in perspective begins with prayer, but needs to be put into action by reading and digesting God's word.
Your attempts to seek Him seem to be vain or empty because you aren't doing your part. You aren't planting any seed so you're not getting any results.
So far, your faith has been without works, and therefore, you feel nothing for God. Just like the scripture says, faith without works is dead.