what are you feeling right now? (24)

I found that the biggest job in life is not to get court in the nets others are snared in. For the problem with wrong living inside of people is that it produces more wrong - also in the people the wrong has been done to.

It was like that with my sexual assault as well. The evil that possessed the persons hurting me became alive in me as well that day I was almost killed physically. I survived but the horrible deed did kill much spiritually in my good life, for I lost my innocence, my trust, my good will towards people, my childhood, my best friend that day and met evil and was overcome. And wrongs curse in my life followed me every day until I did away with the wrong and let The Truth place my good life back in me where I had lost it but that wasn't until many years after.

This is why we need the truth of good life to set us free. That is not just a religious notion that is really true. How do you make polluted waters drinkable again? We must purify it! That means like melting the ore to separate the useless rock from the precious metals we are after just like the bible says.

Press On in the above post explained very well how we go when someone does wrong to us. Wrong attacks us big time. The horrible deeds of others hurts, upsets, and unbalances us and tries to overcome us and ensnare us as well. Hot burning feelings that carry angry, bitter, galling thoughts and ideas. Such times are the times that we have to hold on to the truth of ourselves. Why think in horrible hurtful labels? Why chew hot coals? Why swallow stuff that has no truth in it? Why agree with hate when hate hurts so much? Best keep it all out! and retain our peace and rest, that which we had before this person did wrong to us. That is the job. To remain unaffected or rather to overcome the wrong attacking us so that it can be done away with and we can stop hurting and have our good life back again.

As a Christian I have Jesus to help me do this and let me assure everyone He is totally great in setting us free and guarding our thoughts. The truths of Scripture are unforgeable and retain our good life if we hold onto to God's truth and not the wrong we have been smitten with. Can be a hard job holding on when the storm is at its worst but The Word always gets us through and will calm the storm when we digest its truths in faith and keep doubt and unbelief out.

However not only Christians understand that truth is essential to win in our battle with lies. Everyone knows the truth is reliable and always available to the discerning mind. This is why we need to realise that our hot burning emotions always drag us of into trouble but that our loving, caring, peaceful, wholesome emotions bring us more good life. Everybody knows that when they ponder on this in their hearts, we don't need to belief in God, nor have faith in Him for such truth to be available to us. Like Paul assures us the Gospel has been preached over the whole world, it is the truth however those who have their reality in lies can't see that unless told.

So when someone says something really mean and nasty to you and you believe those lies then the pain of such attack will be very bad and the damage will be great in your heart. However after that the wrong done to you will begin to fester within and will begin to smite horrible labels on you, God and others and bring around more bad life. The wrong will grow and take over more and more of your good life and bring you bad life. In the mean time all the lies the wrong tells your heart and mind build you into someone very different than you were before this wrong came into your life and begin to become more and more untrue to yourself and turn into someone you don't really want to be and you have a deep longing inside of yourself for true being again.

As you can see wrong brings wrong and needs to be disposed of so we can have our true selves back again. The only way that this can be done is to find back to the truth and get rid of the lies. There is no other way possible.

That is why I believe in Jesus! For He is the truth and the Good Life. His life clearly demonstrates how wrong sets itself up against right and gets rid of it. So all of us lied to human beings down here hurting will love to see Him appear on the clouds of heaven and rise in ecstasy to meet Him - for He is the very good life we lost! For The Truth carries us, embodies us, suffers us, loves us and owns us. We are His rightful Children and I'm very, very proud of Him for He saved me from the wrongs done to me and from the wrongs I done myself and is making me anew and also true again - every day again and every day a little more.

All glory to Jesus Christ for setting me free from the wrongs those evildoers put in me and giving me myself back in good nick and so much more than that!

Surviving Murder.

All is blurring blurring...
I'm choking.....
death is closing in fast
I can't breath any longer....
I just want to give in..

The coldness is taking hold,
Light is departing fast...
In utter darkness to be....
The pain inside my chest..
Agonising fire!

"Hey you..., fight on!
Its time, time to strike back...
Awake, death cannot part,
Life from you!
You may not die!"

So I fight on...,

No one may harm -
on all God's Holy Hill!
Ever!

"Yes, hear well - no one,
No, no one, may harm!
No one murdered,
No killing anyone ever!
Feel the fire...
Receive the Love..,
Light up the holy fire....!
Be alive!"

All around, yes all around,
A wall impenetrable,
Holy fire surrounding,
Completely encircling,
My Whole Life!

Long hard 2 1/2 days work but got 'er done. Even had a burst of adrenalin after covering the driveway and did 3 hours of yard mowing.

Went to a chinese restaurant for one of our too infrequent nights out, came home and watched Saving Private Ryan again on DVD. Heavy thunderstorms expected overnight and tomorrow so our cocker spaniel will be wanting to bunk with us as the thunder crashes and lightning flashes.

I'm really tired and sore so will take the next couple of days easy. Will go to the gym tomorrow if the soreness goes away.

Have a blessed evening. Praying for you all.

P.S.: How did your day go with the grandkids, Jeshu?

Press On said:

....

P.S.: How did your day go with the grandkids, Jeshu?

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They are having a good time. I haven't been very well myself so most the work fell on Yvonne, which was not so nice, but still we have had a good time altogether and I wouldn't have missed it for anything. I've been very tired and drained for some reason not sure while. I had hoped the kids would have helped me along but rather they tired me out. A pity we could have had so much more fun otherwise.

not feeling all that good today. I was already up at 11 pm after just 3 hours sleep or so and haven't been able to crash again. Nauseated and rather lowish. Yuk.

Jeshu said:

not feeling all that good today. I was already up at 11 pm after just 3 hours sleep or so and haven't been able to crash again. Nauseated and rather lowish. Yuk.

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Sorry, my friend. You are obviously in your "dip" cycle; no sleep stinks big time.

Try to get some rest, Gerry. I know, easier said than done.

Just taking it easy on a rainy day. We went to the gym but all I was up to was about 3 miles on the elliptical trainer; still sore from recent manual labor.

Prayers for you and all our CF Depression Forum contributors.

Got a feeling it could be a long night. Hope I'm wrong though.

As expected, it's turning out to be a hard night.

TimAM said:

As expected, it's turning out to be a hard night.

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Said a prayer for yoy brother. I hope you find your comfort in God's love as you struggle with bad life.

Press On said:

Sorry, my friend. You are obviously in your "dip" cycle; no sleep stinks big time.

Try to get some rest, Gerry. I know, easier said than done.

Just taking it easy on a rainy day. We went to the gym but all I was up to was about 3 miles on the elliptical trainer; still sore from recent manual labor. I feel crap and it is rather deep down here. Will have to wait till it h passes.

Prayers for you and all our CF Depression Forum contributors.

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I'm not sure what is happening but I feel crap I did get more sleep though so that was good.

Jeshu said:

Said a prayer for yoy brother. I hope you find your comfort in God's love as you struggle with bad life.

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I think God heard your prayer. Things have been turning around and it started right about an hour or so ago.

TimAM said:

I think God heard your prayer. Things have been turning around and it started right about an hour or so ago.

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That's great! Praise Jesus for being with us in our battles. Keep your eyes peeled on Him bro, that is how you get through the storms down here unhurt. I've been struggling myself doing that but He sure fights on our side when we put our trust in Him and await His loving truth to rescue us.

Mark 11:25
"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

To do this this sincerely and continually is the secret to a happy care free life in Christ.


Salvation in Christ.
Know your sin and misery,
then you will need Christ,
asking Jesus for a wash,
His blood cleansing you.

God takes away your guilt,
and melts your shame away,
clearing your guilty conscience,
creating a crystal sea to cross.

The pure shall see God,
see Him seated on His throne,
all Heaven adores Him,
The Lamb who was slain!

The heart is ecstatic,
Praising Jesus Christ,
Seated on the mercy seat,
Leadership to The King!

All that is numbered,
is done away with,
evil rule dies,
The Accuser goes in the pit.

The Son of God
opens the seals
reveals the Chosen within
who will be the saved?

The Chosen are raised,
all that died in you,
comes back to life,
Christ ruling your heart.

Peace and Rest rules,
The old is in charge of the new
The heart is transformed
and laughter restored.

The attacks have been relentless especially when lowest, someone is eager to get me down and out it seems, best keep my eyes on The Truth of His Love in me.

Psalm 6

Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.
Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint;
heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in deep anguish.
How long, Lord, how long?


Turn, Lord, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
Among the dead no one proclaims your name.
Who praises you from the grave?

I am worn out from my groaning.

All night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes.

Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my weeping.
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
the Lord accepts my prayer.
All my enemies will be overwhelmed with shame and anguish;
they will turn back and suddenly be put to shame.

Press On said:

Went to a chinese restaurant for one of our too infrequent nights out, came home and watched Saving Private Ryan again on DVD.

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Something funny about that. "Yeah we went to a restaurant, it was nice, and after that I watched a movie full of DEATH, SUFFERING AND DESPAIR".

Which reminded me, have you still seen Hacksaw Ridge? Might be right up your alley!

Tempura said:

Something funny about that. "Yeah we went to a restaurant, it was nice, and after that I watched a movie full of DEATH, SUFFERING AND DESPAIR".

Which reminded me, have you still seen Hacksaw Ridge? Might be right up your alley!

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Yes, there are those elements. But more than that, it's a film about sacrifice, dedication, hope and commitment. Your remarks are not called for, Tempura. Please stop attacking me.

Jeshu said:

I'm not sure what is happening but I feel crap I did get more sleep though so that was good.

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What do you think is going on? Med problems, spiritual oppression or just in a down cycle? Prayers, Gerry.

TimAM said:

I think God heard your prayer. Things have been turning around and it started right about an hour or so ago.

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Glad to see this. My prayers as well, Tim.

I'm starting to think that I'm God's personal "experiment" to see how much more I can withstand, and it's starting to get on my nerves, to put it bluntly. I had enough of being treated like some guinea pig, so I kinda snapped and lost my temper with God earlier. Was that the correct response to my frustrations or wasn't it? Only time will tell.

Press On said:

Yes, there are those elements. But more than that, it's a film about sacrifice, dedication, hope and commitment. Your remarks are not called for, Tempura. Please stop attacking me.

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Perhaps social cues - especially on the internet - aren't my strengths, both when talking or listening. So I don't know if you were playing along or if you really thought I was attacking you for some reason. In case you thought I was attacking you: I wasn't. I don't think I've ever meant to attack you. I was trying to be humorous, because some things in juxtaposition have some humor in them that can bring levity, and in no way was I trying to downplay the sacrifices of anyone. I do like that movie too, and I recommended Hacksaw Ridge because that movie too - despite its horrific violence - is full of conviction, dedication, hope and faith and it's inspiring.

Typing this just in case, haven't really interacted with people lately so I can't tell. Didn't want to let the sun set...you know how the verse goes, can't remember it fully in english. God bless.

Tempura said:

Perhaps social cues - especially on the internet - aren't my strengths, both when talking or listening. So I don't know if you were playing along or if you really thought I was attacking you for some reason. In case you thought I was attacking you: I wasn't. I don't think I've ever meant to attack you. I was trying to be humorous, because some things in juxtaposition have some humor in them that can bring levity, and in no way was I trying to downplay the sacrifices of anyone. I do like that movie too, and I recommended Hacksaw Ridge because that movie too - despite its horrific violence - is full of conviction, dedication, hope and faith and it's inspiring.

Typing this just in case, haven't really interacted with people lately so I can't tell. Didn't want to let the sun set...you know how the verse goes, can't remember it fully in english. God bless.

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Hi Tempura,
I forgot about language barriers. I indeed took it as an insult, but I also thought it was so out of character for you I could have taken it wrong. Guess I should have PM'd you instead of just reacting like I did.

You are one of the regular posters I respect and have confided with in private in the past. Thank you for clarifying.

I thought you were implying I was callous after a nice time out with my wife to see a rather graphic movie based on a terrible day in our history to glory in the blood and guts. Not at all. I love WW II history and this film is mostly realistic in its battle scenes. This film is rather an emotional one for me which is why I own it.

Sorry I misunderstood, my friend. Language barriers can be tricky.

I have not seen "Hacksaw Ridge" but would like to.
Thanks again; God Bless.