Your view of God is certainly different from mine and not for the better I believe. I just want to comment on some of the key passages you have pointed out and that I have found within the discourse which tell us about this man called Heavenly Father.
“God himself was once as we are now, and is an exalted man, and sits enthroned in yonder heavens!”
What does the particular phrase I’ve highlighted mean if Heavenly Father is not like us now in regards to all aspects? Let’s exclude sin, even though I think it a possibility, but add other points. Was God once like us in that we are weak, lacking supernatural ability, ignorant and the like? This statement of Joseph Smith’s is not a simile but a definitive statement concerning the ontology of God, he was once as we are now. We need only look at ourselves now then to see who God once was.
“We have imagined and supposed that God was God from all eternity. I will refute that idea, and take away the veil, so that you may see.”
Joseph Smith has the idea that God was not always who he is today. This is coherent with his previous connection between God being as we are today at a certain point in time.
“The first principles of man are self-existent with God. God found himself in the midst of spirits and glory, and because he was greater, he saw proper to institute laws whereby the rest could have the privilege of advancing like himself-“
I find this a curious statement, the sort of ultimate origin story of God. Is it wrong to ask where Heavenly Father’s body came from? Do Mormons believe that flesh and bone can appear ex nihilo or that out of the chaos of the random universe a body was formed (somehow) and an intelligence knowing about it, seized the opportunity and grafted itself to that body thus becoming the first God? This is akin to the myths of ancient antiquity in which the gods emerge out of chaos. If the cosmos (all reality) could produce a being like Heavenly Father seemingly out of the existent elements, why couldn’t it happen again?
Doctrines and Covenants 93:29 “Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be.”
This only confirms what I said about God’s eternality not being such a big deal, since we are in effect all immortals who existed alongside each other. Yet it goes further and definitively refutes the idea that God is self-sufficient or all good. Not in that your God goes against what is good, but that he simply follows what is good, since a law of morality predated his mortal existence and constitutes an aspect of the cosmos he draws upon for his own personal deification rather than is good from the start.
The ultimate conclusion of these ideas concerning God in Mormonism would lead me to think that Heavenly Father is not necessary for salvation if Heavenly Father achieved his own deification on his own. He might help you achieve it quickly but since Heavenly Father was able to do it (if I am understanding you correctly) without any help, why do you need Heavenly Father at all? Because he said so?
Also, how do you know you have only one heavenly Mother? Your Prophets don't talk about her at all and we see in the case of Joseph Smith and many Old Testament saints that they were married to multiple women. Joseph Smith was even sealed to multiple women, will the multiple sealed marriages not carry over to the next life for Joseph Smith? Would it be wrong for Heavenly Father to have taken on many wives?
*This is akin to the myths of ancient antiquity …..
I see the concept of an immaterial god as a huge myth! It’s a god which can wave his magic wand and poof there is whatever.
Our God is much more logical than that!
*Do Mormons believe that flesh and bone can appear ex nihilo
We do not believe in ex nihilo, we believe that all matter has always existed.
“All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.” John 1
We take that to mean there are things which are not made, they just are.
In the creation story it never says let there be water, the earth and the water are just there. Speaking science wise it was a closed system, and void of life. When God said let there be light he opened the system and life began.
The Hebrew word for create is bara and means to make fat, ya have some cattle you add some feed and you fatten them up. God fattened up the earth.
Biblical Hebrew E-Magazine
*The intelligence seems to be part of the elements of the universe mixed with the light of God. It has a personality, a will of its own and gender.
2 Cor 5
1 For we know that if our earthly house (our bodies) of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God (our spirits), an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2 For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven: (the resurrection)
Note that the spirit is also called a house.
We believe God the Father takes an intelligence and places it into spirit matter, thus making him the Father of lights and spirits.
D&C 93
33 For man is spirit. The elements are eternal, and spirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fulness of joy;
34 And when separated, man cannot receive a fulness of joy.
35 The elements are the tabernacle of God;…..
Jesus often called his body a temple . In Rev 21 it speaks of the New Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven.
“And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes..”
He can wipe away their tears because he has the hands to do it.
*You said; (somehow) and an intelligence knowing about it, seized the opportunity and grafted itself to that body thus becoming the first God?
I don’t know, that is a mystery for which the answer has not been given.
There are some who don’t believe there is a beginning but that it is an eternal round;
1Nephi 10
19 For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost, as well in these times as in times of old, and as well in times of old as in times to come; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round.
* You said; “Yet it goes further and definitively refutes the idea that God is self-sufficient ….”
Why must God be self-sufficient? Must be a very lonely god.
Eph 3
14 For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
15 Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
Families are interdependent, they need each other.
1 Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee:
2 As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him.
4 I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.
5 And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.
10 And all mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them.
The Father shares his glory with the Son who in tern gives his glory back, he then is glorified in us. We are interdependent.
*You said; Not in that your God goes against what is good, but that he simply follows what is good, since a law of morality predated his mortal existence and constitutes an aspect of the cosmos he draws upon for his own personal deification rather than is good from the start.
I’m afraid you lost me there.
*You also said ; The ultimate conclusion of these ideas concerning God in Mormonism would lead me to think that Heavenly Father is not necessary for salvation if Heavenly Father achieved his own deification on his own.
Heb 1
8 But unto the Son he saith, Thy throne, O God, is for ever and ever: a sceptre of righteousness is the sceptre of thy kingdom.
9 Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.
As I said there does seem to be some greater intelligences which are God without having to go through what the rest of us do. For example we believe that children who die before the age of eight are perfect spirits, they don’t need to go through the trials of mortal life. All they needed was to gain a body.
*You asked; how do you know you have only one heavenly Mother?
I don’t know, one of those mysteries.