Divorce and Remarriage

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Thanks for the response Bling, I have a couple of questions. Wouldn't you agree that only someone who is married can commit adultery? Adultery is an action that is committed against a spouse. A single person does not commit adultery. That's my basis for interpreting Matthew 19

Matthew 19:9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality (NASB, KJV says fornication), and marries another woman commits adultery."

I think this is very clear. If a divorce occurs for any reason other than immorality/fornication, then the spouse that gets remarried is committing adultery. You can't commit adultery if you're not married. Therefore, it stands to reason that unless the divorce is for immorality/fornication (physical adultery), than the one flesh covenant is still in effect in the eyes of the Lord. I don't know how else to interpret that. I'm open to another interpretation, I just don't see how it would be viable.

I do completely agree with you though that if a divorced spouse does get remarried, that marriage is valid, and becomes a covenant. They may have committed adultery, but it was a one time offense. Do they need to repent? Yes. But their newly formed marriage is certainly a valid covenant that now should be honored.
Do you think that, say, even if the divorce wasn't because of adultery, that once either the husband or wife remarries they would have scripturally committed adultery? But then that ended the marriage bond with the previous spouse...and, assuming the "adulterer" is repentant then the new marriage is a valid marriage in the eyes of God?
 
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Big Drew

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I haven't read anything in Scripture that teaches it would be OK. Remember, forgiveness is not optional in the Christian faith. Husbands and wives are to forgive each other. If they're forgiving each other, they're probably staying together.
I don't think we can paint with such a broad brush on this issue...we don't know the circumstances of people's lives...I know, from my case, that we were two kids that got married way too early, and grew up to be completely different people...we wanted different things out of life...we constantly fought...we didn't have sex for the last two years we were married...which lead to even more problems...it was a very unhealthy situation, not only for us, but for our children...because it was setting a poor example of what marriage is. I suggested counseling, tried to talk things out, but in the end, she left...now that we don't live together, we have a good relationship with one another...and we're both happily married to the people we should have probably been with the whole time.

Even if we want to discard my situation, and say that we could have worked it out...if we go with the only adultery theory...that still leaves the door shut on women who are abused by their husbands. Do you think God wants a woman to be a punching bag just to keep her covenant?
 
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joshua 1 9

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I created another thread on this topic, specifically dealing with the verse found in 1 Timothy in regards to qualifications for an elder or deacon...but that got me to thinking about this even further, and thought this would be best in the general theology section...

The other thread is here, if any are interested.1 Timothy 3:2 Husband of One Wife

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul writes:

15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

This tells me that if the unbelieving partner leaves then the believer is no longer bound to that marriage, and are free to remarry. Later on in the chapter Paul says that widows are allowed to remarry as well.

So, what if, at the time of separation and divorce, both parties were backslidden, and no longer walking in their faith?
The book of Leviticus was written for the Levites that were called to purification from impurities to serve God. We are told: "he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife." For me this means a Christian wife. If we want to serve God then we are called to purity and holiness. For many are called but few are chosen.

Leviticus 21:13 And he shall take a wife in her virginity.

Leviticus 21:14 A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, [or] an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife.

Paul makes divorce and remarriage very clear: "such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you." Remarried people in Pauls opinion are going to have problems in the flesh and he wants to spare them.

7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

People in the Church that are an example to others are called to live a life more pure and holy before God.
 
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joshua 1 9

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Do you think God wants a woman to be a punching bag just to keep her covenant?
The question was not about keeping our covenant with God. The question was about the qualifications for an elder or deacon in the church.
 
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Big Drew

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The question was not about keeping our covenant with God. The question was about the qualifications for an elder or deacon in the church.
No. That's what my other thread is about. This thread is about divorce and remarriage in general.
 
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SPF

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Do you think that, say, even if the divorce wasn't because of adultery, that once either the husband or wife remarries they would have scripturally committed adultery? But then that ended the marriage bond with the previous spouse...and, assuming the "adulterer" is repentant then the new marriage is a valid marriage in the eyes of God?
Yes, I would say it is absolutely "valid". If two Christians were to get divorced for a reason other than adultery, then I believe they are called to celibacy or reunification. If one of them gets remarried or engages in a sexual relationship with someone else, then adultery has been committed and the one flesh covenant has been severed. At that point, reconciliation is more than likely out of the question, especially if the adultery was committed VIA a new marriage. At that point, I don't see anything in Scripture which would somehow disqualify the new marriage or make it any less of a marriage.
 
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dqhall

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I have a relative who is in his third marriage. They have been together for 12 years. They seem happy. I have never seen them quarrel of fight with each other. They met at work and share a car ride to and from work each day. He did sin in the past, but I could not tell him his current marriage is wrong. I checked online and marriages that last ten years or more are more likely to be permanent marriages. Not all marriages in their first year will be permanent, regardless of how many laws people write and how much advise they give.

If you love your neighbor as yourself, you might not end up in divorce court.
 
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Big Drew

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I have a relative who is in his third marriage. They have been together for 12 years. They seem happy. I have never seen them quarrel of fight with each other. They met at work and share a car ride to and from work each day. He did sin in the past, but I could not tell him his current marriage is wrong. I checked online and marriages that last ten years or more are more likely to be permanent marriages. Not all marriages in their first year will be permanent, regardless of how many laws people write and how much advise they give.

If you love your neighbor as yourself, you might not end up in divorce court.
Yeah, I think some people, for whatever reason, just don't get it right the first time. Both of my parents had previous marriages, but then they were together for 30 years until my dad passed away. Others do get it right...I have friends that I went to high school with that have been together since they were 15, got married right after we graduated, and now, almost 20 years later are still together. I can list all of the reasons my first marriage wasn't meant to last...but the experience taught me what to and not to do the second time around.
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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It is interesting to see the different opinions of those who are single, those who are married, and those who are divorced. The view of a single person would be theoretical only because he or she has never experienced marriage and therefore would be limited in their perception. When I was single, things like divorce were never on my radar at all. When I was married, divorce for me was unthinkable. But my wife deserted me and so it became an issue. I had a shouting match with God after a Charismatic elder told me I could never be remarried. I told God that if that was true then He was being unjust toward me because I would be punished for someone else''s action, in spite of all the efforts I made to keep my marriage together. I am happily remarried and have been so for the last 27 years. I have not seen any scriptures that tell me that the innocent party in a divorce is not free to remarry. I believed that when my wife left me and refused to consider reconciliation the covenant between us was broken, and I was under no further obligation.

The scripture says that every person should bear their own sin, and not be punished for the sin of others. This was in answer to the question about whether the children should be punished for the parents' sin. At one stage it was said that because of a person's sin, succeeding generations would suffer for it. This is often found among unbelievers. But for believers, the righteousness of Christ covers all sin, so that even for the guilty party in a divorce, "all manner of sin and iniquity shall be forgiven". But for an innocent party, there is no sin to forgive in that issue.

My first wife has married again, so for that reason if for no other, I am free from the obligation. I don't know when she remarried. I wonder if she remarried during the seven years I was between marriages, and when she remarried, that's when I met my present wife? Interesting thought. If that is so, that takes away any doubt that my second marriage is absolutely right and blessed of God.

So it is one thing for a single or happily married person to have a theory based on the verses of Scripture, but when divorce happens to a person, that person enters into a completely new world. Some friends fall away because they feel uncomfortable around a divorced person. I found that the "spiritual brothers and sisters" in my Charismatic church stopped fellowshiping with me because they thought I was at fault in some way that I became divorced. That was one of the reasons why I left that church. But I met another whole group of brothers and sisters in the Lord that I never knew were there. It seemed they came out of the woodwork. They were the ones who found life difficult in many ways, but they appeared to me to have much deeper character and faith than the others who departed from me. Maybe my experience enabled me to get out there and meet real people for a change. Those people have certainly enriched my mife.

I once commiserated with a good Christian brother about the things that have happened to me. He said, "If those things never happened, you would not be the person you are today." I found that very encouraging. We don't know why God allows us to go through things we would hate to have to go through. When my wife left me, I felt that I was on a roller coaster heading toward divorce and I felt helpless because I couldn't get off. I entered into a life where I had no chart to follow so I could navigate through it. I couldn't trust any of my former mentors who were either judgmental or had no answers for me. I had to rely completely on God to get me through. It took seven years of storm and stress before I finally stabilised, went back to church and settled down to see what God had for me next.

I hope that my experience is encouraging to some, just to show that there is light at the end of the tunnel of divorce and it is not the light of an oncoming train!
 
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Big Drew said in post #1:

This tells me that if the unbelieving partner leaves then the believer is no longer bound to that marriage, and are free to remarry.

1 Corinthians 7:15 means that a believing spouse isn't under the bondage of having to keep together a valid marriage to an unbeliever when the unbeliever is determined to get a divorce. But 1 Corinthians 7:15 doesn't mean that a believing wife, after being divorced by an unbelieving, yet valid, husband, can then marry someone else. For if a man marries a woman divorced from a valid husband, he is committing adultery (Luke 16:18b). But the scriptures don't forbid a man divorced from a valid wife to marry a second, single, woman who isn't divorced from a valid husband, so long as it was his first wife (whether an unbeliever or believer) who divorced him. But then in God's eyes, he will be married to two women at the same time (so long as both remain alive), which, while no scripture requires is a sin in itself, because it isn't the best situation, it disqualifies him from taking any leadership positions in the church (1 Timothy 3:2,12), based on the basic idea of 1 Timothy 3:5.

--

A husband is not to divorce his wife (1 Corinthians 7:11b), and a wife is not to divorce her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10). If a wife does divorce her husband, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband (1 Corinthians 7:11). Regarding becoming reconciled, a Christian must always completely forgive everyone who has wronged him or her in any way (Mark 11:25), no matter how great the wrong and no matter how many times a wrong has been committed (Matthew 18:21-35). For if a Christian refuses to forgive anyone for anything, God will refuse to forgive that Christian for his or her own sins (Mark 11:26).

If a husband divorces a valid wife and marries another woman, he is committing adultery (Mark 10:11). And if a wife divorces a valid husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery (Mark 10:12). The exception for fornication (as distinguished from adultery) in Matthew 19:9 permits a husband to divorce a valid wife for having had pre-marital sex, and to marry another woman without his committing adultery. But this applies only to cases where a husband doesn't discover until after he's married that his newlywed wife isn't a virgin (cf. Deuteronomy 22:14, Matthew 1:19). There is no such pre-marital-sex exception granted to a wife. Also, there is no pre-marital-sex exception granted to a man who marries a divorced woman. If a man marries a woman divorced from a valid husband for any reason, he is committing adultery (Luke 16:18b).

The now-abolished letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law (Ephesians 2:15-16, Colossians 2:14-17, Romans 7:6) permitted a divorced woman to marry someone else (Deuteronomy 24:2). But if her second marriage ended, the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law forbade her to remarry her first husband (Deuteronomy 24:4). The New Covenant rules turn this on its head. For now a woman divorced from a valid husband can't marry anyone else (Mark 10:12, Luke 16:18b), but she can remarry her valid husband (1 Corinthians 7:11). It was because the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law permitted a divorced woman to marry someone else, that Jesus, while the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law was still in effect, could acknowledge the woman of Samaria's five marriages (John 4:18, assuming that all five did not end in the death of her husband: cf. Luke 20:29-31). The New Covenant rules forbidding a woman divorced from a valid husband to marry anyone else didn't come into legal effect until Jesus' death on the Cross brought the New Covenant into legal effect (Hebrews 9:16-17, Matthew 26:28) and abolished the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law (Ephesians 2:15-16, Colossians 2:14-17, Romans 7:6).

God never said that marriage would be easy. And he has set such strict, New Covenant rules regarding divorce and second marriages (Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:12) that the apostles said it is better not to get married at all (Matthew 19:10). Jesus answered them by saying that whoever can accept not getting married, and remaining celibate, should accept it (Matthew 19:11-12). The apostle Paul said the same thing, that unmarried celibacy is the best thing for a Christian if he or she can handle it (1 Corinthians 7:1,7-8,32-35). But if someone who hasn't been married can't contain himself or herself sexually, then he or she should get married in order to avoid fornication (1 Corinthians 7:2,9).

The strict New Covenant rules regarding divorce and second marriages cut both ways, in that if Christians find themselves in a miserable marriage which is an adulterous affair in God's eyes (Mark 10:11-12), then they can escape their misery and their unrepentant sin at the same time by divorcing their invalid spouse. But if they find themselves in a very pleasant marriage which is an adulterous affair in God's eyes, then they have to be willing to give it up in order to escape their unrepentant sin, and thereby avoid ultimately losing their salvation due to unrepentant sin (Hebrews 10:26-29, Galatians 5:19-21, Luke 12:45-46).

*******

Big Drew said in post #9:

Then do you view remarriage as an unpardonable sin?

The only unforgivable sin is blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:28-29), such as ascribing a work of the Holy Spirit to Satan (Mark 3:22-30). Any other sin can be forgiven if it's repented from and confessed to God (1 John 1:9). Just as if believers find themselves living in the sin of an adulterous affair, they can't continue on in that sin, so if they find themselves living in the sin of second marriage adultery (Mark 10:12, Matthew 19:9), they can't continue on in that sin (or any other sin) and expect God's grace to forgive them (Hebrews 10:26-29, Galatians 5:19-21; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Instead, they must break off with the second, invalid spouse, even if they have had children with the second spouse, just as married people must break off an adulterous affair even if they have had children as a result of that affair.

After breaking off an adulterous second marriage, a wife must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her first, valid husband (1 Corinthians 7:11), if she has one. She can't marry someone else, even if, for example, that would help her and her children to escape poverty. For just as escaping poverty wouldn't justify the wife continuing in the sin of an adulterous affair with a man who financially supports her and her children (or wouldn't justify the sin of her becoming and remaining a well-paid prostitute), so escaping poverty wouldn't justify the sin of her entering into another case of second marriage adultery (Mark 10:12) with a man who financially supports her and her children.

Romans 3:31 means that Christians establish the Old Covenant Mosaic law not in its letter, but in its spirit (Romans 7:6), by loving others (Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 5:14, Matthew 7:12). Part of loving others is warning them if they are living in sin (Revelation 3:19; 2 Thessalonians 3:15, Hebrews 3:13, James 5:19-20). The worst thing that a Christian can do is to coddle people who are living in sin, instead of sharing with them the hard (yet saving) truths of God's Word (2 Timothy 4:2-4, cf. Jeremiah 23:14,22,29). Telling the truth to people can sometimes hurt them, but that is better than deceiving them with something which makes them feel good (Proverbs 27:6, Proverbs 28:23). The reason that second marriage adultery (or any other sin) is so common in the church today is because so much of the church has stopped teaching and believing the hard truths of God's Word (2 Timothy 4:2-4, cf. Jeremiah 23:14,22,29).
 
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SPF said in post #18:

Physical adultery is capable of severing the one flesh covenant.

Note that it isn't.

For in Matthew 19:9, the Greek word "inappropriate contenteia" can be used sometimes to refer only to pre-marital sex. For example, someone could say: "She committed inappropriate contenteia before she got married, but she hasn't committed adultery". In the same way, in Matthew 19:9, inappropriate contenteia ("fornication") is used only in the sense of pre-marital sex as distinguished from Matthew 19:9's separate reference to the Greek word moichao ("adultery"). See also Matthew 15:19, Matthew 5:32, Mark 7:21, 1 Corinthians 6:9, and Galatians 5:19, where inappropriate contenteia ("fornication") is used in a way which distinguishes it from moichao ("adultery").

If God allowed divorce for adultery, this would give married people the incentive to commit adultery if they wanted to marry someone else. For they could think: "I can't stand this marriage, but I would love to marry that other person. All I have to do is commit adultery with that other person in a way that my spouse finds out and divorces me. Then I can marry that other person, and, Voilà, it's no longer adultery!" Such a mistaken, awful idea can only lead to more adultery and more broken marriages.
 
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joshua 1 9 said in post #23:

7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
7:28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

This relates to literal virgins (1 Corinthians 7:25). It means that if they are engaged to be married, they should not break off the engagement (1 Corinthians 7:27a). But if an engagement has been broken off, they should not be seeking someone else to get engaged to (1 Corinthians 7:27b). But if they do, and end up getting married, it is not a sin (1 Corinthians 7:28a). It is just better to be celibate than have the trouble of being married (1 Corinthians 7:28b), so long as one can handle being celibate (1 Corinthians 7:32-38; 1 Corinthians 7:8-9).
 
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Big Drew

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1 Corinthians 7:15 means that a believing spouse isn't under the bondage of having to keep together a valid marriage to an unbeliever when the unbeliever is determined to get a divorce. But 1 Corinthians 7:15 doesn't mean that a believing wife, after being divorced by an unbelieving, yet valid, husband, can then marry someone else. For if a man marries a woman divorced from a valid husband, he is committing adultery (Luke 16:18b). But the scriptures don't forbid a man divorced from a valid wife to marry a second, single, woman who isn't divorced from a valid husband, so long as it was his first wife (whether an unbeliever or believer) who divorced him. But then in God's eyes, he will be married to two women at the same time (so long as both remain alive), which, while no scripture requires is a sin in itself, because it isn't the best situation, it disqualifies him from taking any leadership positions in the church (1 Timothy 3:2,12), based on the basic idea of 1 Timothy 3:5.

--

A husband is not to divorce his wife (1 Corinthians 7:11b), and a wife is not to divorce her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10). If a wife does divorce her husband, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband (1 Corinthians 7:11). Regarding becoming reconciled, a Christian must always completely forgive everyone who has wronged him or her in any way (Mark 11:25), no matter how great the wrong and no matter how many times a wrong has been committed (Matthew 18:21-35). For if a Christian refuses to forgive anyone for anything, God will refuse to forgive that Christian for his or her own sins (Mark 11:26).

If a husband divorces a valid wife and marries another woman, he is committing adultery (Mark 10:11). And if a wife divorces a valid husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery (Mark 10:12). The exception for fornication (as distinguished from adultery) in Matthew 19:9 permits a husband to divorce a valid wife for having had pre-marital sex, and to marry another woman without his committing adultery. But this applies only to cases where a husband doesn't discover until after he's married that his newlywed wife isn't a virgin (cf. Deuteronomy 22:14, Matthew 1:19). There is no such pre-marital-sex exception granted to a wife. Also, there is no pre-marital-sex exception granted to a man who marries a divorced woman. If a man marries a woman divorced from a valid husband for any reason, he is committing adultery (Luke 16:18b).

The now-abolished letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law (Ephesians 2:15-16, Colossians 2:14-17, Romans 7:6) permitted a divorced woman to marry someone else (Deuteronomy 24:2). But if her second marriage ended, the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law forbade her to remarry her first husband (Deuteronomy 24:4). The New Covenant rules turn this on its head. For now a woman divorced from a valid husband can't marry anyone else (Mark 10:12, Luke 16:18b), but she can remarry her valid husband (1 Corinthians 7:11). It was because the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law permitted a divorced woman to marry someone else, that Jesus, while the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law was still in effect, could acknowledge the woman of Samaria's five marriages (John 4:18, assuming that all five did not end in the death of her husband: cf. Luke 20:29-31). The New Covenant rules forbidding a woman divorced from a valid husband to marry anyone else didn't come into legal effect until Jesus' death on the Cross brought the New Covenant into legal effect (Hebrews 9:16-17, Matthew 26:28) and abolished the letter of the Old Covenant Mosaic law (Ephesians 2:15-16, Colossians 2:14-17, Romans 7:6).

God never said that marriage would be easy. And he has set such strict, New Covenant rules regarding divorce and second marriages (Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:12) that the apostles said it is better not to get married at all (Matthew 19:10). Jesus answered them by saying that whoever can accept not getting married, and remaining celibate, should accept it (Matthew 19:11-12). The apostle Paul said the same thing, that unmarried celibacy is the best thing for a Christian if he or she can handle it (1 Corinthians 7:1,7-8,32-35). But if someone who hasn't been married can't contain himself or herself sexually, then he or she should get married in order to avoid fornication (1 Corinthians 7:2,9).

The strict New Covenant rules regarding divorce and second marriages cut both ways, in that if Christians find themselves in a miserable marriage which is an adulterous affair in God's eyes (Mark 10:11-12), then they can escape their misery and their unrepentant sin at the same time by divorcing their invalid spouse. But if they find themselves in a very pleasant marriage which is an adulterous affair in God's eyes, then they have to be willing to give it up in order to escape their unrepentant sin, and thereby avoid ultimately losing their salvation due to unrepentant sin (Hebrews 10:26-29, Galatians 5:19-21, Luke 12:45-46).

*******



The only unforgivable sin is blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:28-29), such as ascribing a work of the Holy Spirit to Satan (Mark 3:22-30). Any other sin can be forgiven if it's repented from and confessed to God (1 John 1:9). Just as if believers find themselves living in the sin of an adulterous affair, they can't continue on in that sin, so if they find themselves living in the sin of second marriage adultery (Mark 10:12, Matthew 19:9), they can't continue on in that sin (or any other sin) and expect God's grace to forgive them (Hebrews 10:26-29, Galatians 5:19-21; 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Instead, they must break off with the second, invalid spouse, even if they have had children with the second spouse, just as married people must break off an adulterous affair even if they have had children as a result of that affair.

After breaking off an adulterous second marriage, a wife must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her first, valid husband (1 Corinthians 7:11), if she has one. She can't marry someone else, even if, for example, that would help her and her children to escape poverty. For just as escaping poverty wouldn't justify the wife continuing in the sin of an adulterous affair with a man who financially supports her and her children (or wouldn't justify the sin of her becoming and remaining a well-paid prostitute), so escaping poverty wouldn't justify the sin of her entering into another case of second marriage adultery (Mark 10:12) with a man who financially supports her and her children.

Romans 3:31 means that Christians establish the Old Covenant Mosaic law not in its letter, but in its spirit (Romans 7:6), by loving others (Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 5:14, Matthew 7:12). Part of loving others is warning them if they are living in sin (Revelation 3:19; 2 Thessalonians 3:15, Hebrews 3:13, James 5:19-20). The worst thing that a Christian can do is to coddle people who are living in sin, instead of sharing with them the hard (yet saving) truths of God's Word (2 Timothy 4:2-4, cf. Jeremiah 23:14,22,29). Telling the truth to people can sometimes hurt them, but that is better than deceiving them with something which makes them feel good (Proverbs 27:6, Proverbs 28:23). The reason that second marriage adultery (or any other sin) is so common in the church today is because so much of the church has stopped teaching and believing the hard truths of God's Word (2 Timothy 4:2-4, cf. Jeremiah 23:14,22,29).
Going by this post the Mosaic Law was much easier to keep than the New Covenant...of course that contradicts scripture...

Acts 15

10 Now, therefore, why are you putting God to the test by placing a yoke on the neck of the disciples that neither our fathers nor we have been able to bear? 11 But we believe that we will be saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus, just as they will.”
 
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PeterDona

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Luke 16:18 says, Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

In this verse we have the comment on a woman who is put away by her husband, and then he is gone away and has married another. But even in that situation it is still adultery to marry this woman !!

Then the unsaved people in the churches have invented all kinds of interpretation technologies to get around the clear stance of scripture. But in doing this they can only fool men, God will not be fooled.

Take note that the passage of Luke 16:18 certainly does away with the idea of an innocent party being able to go into another marriage. There is btw not an innocent party anywhere. It takes 2 to a tango, remember?
 
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PeterDona

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There are 2 cases in the New testament, that can serve as examples for the true teaching of indissolubility once properly married (but an exception for betrothal).

1) Joseph wanting to divorce Mary for fornication, take note that the angel says to him "Joseph thou son of David", which can be understood that he is considering correctly whether to get rid of Mary. And the the angel goes on to say, "Fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife". How can the angel talk about "Mary thy wife" when they are not yet properly married? That certainly indicates some binding effect of being espoused, right? Really only in the case of fornication is a loosening from a betrothal acceptable (but not commanded).

2) John the Baptist rebuking Herod for taking his brothers wife. This shows that even a marriage between unbelievers is binding. John the Baptist lost his life for his intervention, and he was probably aware beforehand that such was the risk of his action. Interesting to think that this was Gods last mission to John: Go and correct this adultery between unbelievers, so it can serve as an example for Bible readers through the ages that ALL remarriages are adultery. Take not that Johns intervention certainly had the aim of breaking up the adulterous relationship between Herod and Herodias (Matthew 14:4), even though they were "married" (Mark 6:17)
 
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PeterDona

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So, what if, at the time of separation and divorce, both parties were backslidden, and no longer walking in their faith?
Marriage was instituted in the garden of Eden, for all mankind, thousands of years before the law came. The law does not away with marriage, of course it can not, and Jesus also does not away with marriage. So a true marriage is not an issue of being a believer or not.

The only admission given in 1 Corinthians 7:15 is a admission, for the sake of peace, to let the unbeliever depart. And it comes with a hope expressed right in the next verse: For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
Do you see the expression of hope here? The unbeliever may be convinced by seeing how his wife sticks to the principle of peace rather than trying to have her way. 7:16 is surely an expression of hope for the unbelieving spouse.
 
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Presbyterian Continuist

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1 Corinthians 7:15 means that a believing spouse isn't under the bondage of having to keep together a valid marriage to an unbeliever when the unbeliever is determined to get a divorce. But 1 Corinthians 7:15 doesn't mean that a believing wife, after being divorced by an unbelieving, yet valid, husband, can then marry someone else. .
I don't believe that. That is not what Paul is saying. He says that the believing wife who has been divorced is not under bondage. This means that she is free to marry again. You cannot read into something that is not there because then you are perverting Paul's words. Also, at the start of the passage Paul is quite clear that he is giving his personal advice and not any command of the Lord.
 
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KAHLMOM

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The thing about Scripture is that we use Scripture to interpret Scripture. We find that the NT letters often expound upon the teachings of the Gospels. We also find the Gospels at times expounding upon themselves.

Marriage is the first covenant instituted by God. It preceded the law. I believe that we see in Scripture that there is something unique about a marriage between two Believers.

Mark 10:11,12 - And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;
Mar 10:12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."

What we find in this passage is something that is as actually more about remarriage than it is divorce. Jesus is saying that even if two spouses get a divorce on paper, that if one of the spouses remarries, they are committing adultery. This is very telling because only people who are married can commit adultery. Thus, we can see here that Jesus is saying that getting a divorce does not break the one flesh covenant that the two made. They are still married in the eyes of God!

Now, this is where we come to Scripture interpreting Scripture. Because Mark is not the end of the story. We know that there is a famous "exception clause" to this divorce rule found elsewhere in Scripture.

Matthew 10:9 -
"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Here we have something that is not included in the Mark passage, and that's ok. For some reason Mark did not record the exception, but that doesn't mean it's a contradiction. We can just assume that the Matthew version is a fuller, more detailed version.

In Matthew, we see that there is something that exists which is capable of severing the one flesh covenant that is formed when two people are married. Physical adultery is capable of severing the one flesh covenant. Now, does that mean that whenever a spouse commits adultery that the other should seek divorce? By no means! Forgiveness and reconciliation should always be sought after. But if we're honest, physical adultery is such a violent breaking of the covenant, such an intimate and damaging thing to do, that there are times where reconciliation is not possible. In these instances, it would seem that the spouse who was cheated is able to be remarried. The passage is more about remarriage than divorce. The key take-away is that physical adultery is capable of severing the one flesh covenant. That means that if a divorce occurs, remarriage is possible without adultery being the result because the one flesh covenant was broken and not restored.

Enter I Corinthians 7. There is a lot packed into this chapter. The first thing that we need to recognize is that ALL Scripture is God Breathed. ALL Scripture is inspired. This would include where Paul says that he's giving his opinion. Sure, when he wrote the letter he was giving his opinion, but we know that Paul's words were inspired by the Holy Spirit. So when Paul is giving "his opinion", he's writing from the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit did not take a quick intermission so Paul could give his opinion. Paul's opinion is equally inspired as the words of Christ in the Gospels. We need to make sure we don't discard or downplay anything that Paul said as lesser in Truth.

So what do we end up finding here? I think we find another exception clause. We also have to remember that Scripture interprets Scripture. Paul says in verse 10 and 11 that the husband and wife are not to divorce. He says that if they do divorce they are to remain unmarried or else be reconciled. Interestingly, Paul does not include the exception clause here. But we know the exception clause is real. So what we can say about this passage is that Paul is echoing the fact that getting a divorce does not free a couple from the one flesh covenant. The reason that Paul is saying that they must remain unmarried or reconcile is because getting a divorce on paper does not sever the one flesh covenant. And it's that one flesh covenant that came into existence when they became married that unites them.

But then Paul goes and says something entirely new. Something that we don't find anywhere else. Paul makes a distinction between a marriage between two Believers and a marriage between one Believer and one Non-Believer. This is very interesting, and gives us a glimpse into the nature of the one flesh covenant as well as our sinful nature.

Paul is very clear in that he says that in the case of an unequally yoked marriage, that if the unbelieving spouse wants to maintain the marriage that the believing spouse needs to stay married. He says in verse 14 that they can have peace in the marriage because their spouse is "sanctified" through them. While there has been much debate over the meaning of that, I take sanctified to mean simply that God honors the marriage covenant that was formed. This is why the Believing spouse is not permitted to initiate a divorce. If they do, we can assume that the same rules apply to them about needing to remain unmarried or reconciled.

But then Paul says something entirely unexpected! Paul is very clear in that he says in verse 15 that in the case of a marriage where one is a Believer and one is not, if the unbeliever wants to leave, not only can they do so, but the Believing spouse is not "under bondage", in other words - they can get remarried! This is the second exception clause.

I can see why Paul (God) would allow it. Basically, sinners are doing what they're supposed to do every single day - sin. We don't judge non-Christians actions because we expect them to sin. I'm never interested in fixing the sinful habits of my Non-Christian friends. What i'm interested in is bringing them to Christ so that the Holy Spirit can then begin the work of sanctification in them. Anything less than that is a temporary behavior change with no eternal value.

So I imaging to non-Christians getting married. One of the spouses becomes a Christians and is in a tough situation. Their spouse is not a Christian, what do they now have in common? Nothing! One is of the Spirit, and one is of the world. A change of this magnitude in a person is going to have dramatic effects upon the marriage. So what do they do? Basically, if the unbelieving spouse still feels that they love their converted spouse and wants to continue the marriage, then the Believing spouse needs to stay. But if the unbelieving spouse says they're done with the marriage and wants to walk away, they can, and the Christian spouse can remarry without sinning.

This is very interesting and calls into question the nature of the one flesh covenant and how it is formed. I think Ecclesiastes was onto something when it described marriage as a cord of three strands. The one flesh covenant is not some empty vow made between two people - it is a covenant that is formed by and maintained by the Holy Spirit. If that's the case, then that Spirit bound, one flesh covenant only exists when the Spirit resides in a person.
 
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KAHLMOM

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  • I’ve been married for over 20 years and have seperated from my husband. I’ve always been a christian but really became born again 4 years ago. My spouse has cheated on me several times physically as well as emotionally. He has also had an addiction to inappropriate contentography. He has been verbally abusive to me and my children and has done nothing but lied to me through out our marriage. He would do nothing but scream and swear at me and my children. Over and over again I forgave him. After being born again in 2012 I prayed for my husband to be saved. He never wanted anything to do with Jesus. He would mock me for my faith and the verbal abuse just continued. He had another emotional affair in 2015 and I kicked him out, He all of the sudden “accepted” Jesus and made me,my pastor, and my church believe that he had changed. He arranged for us to renew our vow which we did in front of our church. Several months later all his old habits came back. Last year he got into a nasty verbal fight with our 17 old son to the point my son didn’t want to come home. Right then and there I decided that I could not live this way anymore. I have been pretty much a single mom the whole time we have been married. I took care of the bills, children, home, cars, etc. He pretty much worked, came home, and would sleep our whole marriage. He would never participate in any family activities. We haven’t been together since July 2016 and I haven’t missed him. There is an amazing peace in my home. It has been so hurtful. I love God and I don’t want HIm to be mad at me. Of course once again my huband has found Jesus and plays “christian”. He tells everyone that he wants me back and he goes to another church yet just this week I have found out that he is on dating web site talking to women. When I confronted him about it he once again lied. I’m thankful that my Pastor and his wife have been fully supportive unlike other christians. Nothing hurts more when you have been the victim yet are made to feel like the bad one.
    I don’t believe God would want me to live in a marriage always wondering if my husband is cheating me and putting myself in risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Just curious what your view is on my situation.












The thing about Scripture is that we use Scripture to interpret Scripture. We find that the NT letters often expound upon the teachings of the Gospels. We also find the Gospels at times expounding upon themselves.

Marriage is the first covenant instituted by God. It preceded the law. I believe that we see in Scripture that there is something unique about a marriage between two Believers.

Mark 10:11,12 - And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her;
Mar 10:12 and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery."

What we find in this passage is something that is as actually more about remarriage than it is divorce. Jesus is saying that even if two spouses get a divorce on paper, that if one of the spouses remarries, they are committing adultery. This is very telling because only people who are married can commit adultery. Thus, we can see here that Jesus is saying that getting a divorce does not break the one flesh covenant that the two made. They are still married in the eyes of God!

Now, this is where we come to Scripture interpreting Scripture. Because Mark is not the end of the story. We know that there is a famous "exception clause" to this divorce rule found elsewhere in Scripture.

Matthew 10:9 -
"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Here we have something that is not included in the Mark passage, and that's ok. For some reason Mark did not record the exception, but that doesn't mean it's a contradiction. We can just assume that the Matthew version is a fuller, more detailed version.

In Matthew, we see that there is something that exists which is capable of severing the one flesh covenant that is formed when two people are married. Physical adultery is capable of severing the one flesh covenant. Now, does that mean that whenever a spouse commits adultery that the other should seek divorce? By no means! Forgiveness and reconciliation should always be sought after. But if we're honest, physical adultery is such a violent breaking of the covenant, such an intimate and damaging thing to do, that there are times where reconciliation is not possible. In these instances, it would seem that the spouse who was cheated is able to be remarried. The passage is more about remarriage than divorce. The key take-away is that physical adultery is capable of severing the one flesh covenant. That means that if a divorce occurs, remarriage is possible without adultery being the result because the one flesh covenant was broken and not restored.

Enter I Corinthians 7. There is a lot packed into this chapter. The first thing that we need to recognize is that ALL Scripture is God Breathed. ALL Scripture is inspired. This would include where Paul says that he's giving his opinion. Sure, when he wrote the letter he was giving his opinion, but we know that Paul's words were inspired by the Holy Spirit. So when Paul is giving "his opinion", he's writing from the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit did not take a quick intermission so Paul could give his opinion. Paul's opinion is equally inspired as the words of Christ in the Gospels. We need to make sure we don't discard or downplay anything that Paul said as lesser in Truth.

So what do we end up finding here? I think we find another exception clause. We also have to remember that Scripture interprets Scripture. Paul says in verse 10 and 11 that the husband and wife are not to divorce. He says that if they do divorce they are to remain unmarried or else be reconciled. Interestingly, Paul does not include the exception clause here. But we know the exception clause is real. So what we can say about this passage is that Paul is echoing the fact that getting a divorce does not free a couple from the one flesh covenant. The reason that Paul is saying that they must remain unmarried or reconcile is because getting a divorce on paper does not sever the one flesh covenant. And it's that one flesh covenant that came into existence when they became married that unites them.

But then Paul goes and says something entirely new. Something that we don't find anywhere else. Paul makes a distinction between a marriage between two Believers and a marriage between one Believer and one Non-Believer. This is very interesting, and gives us a glimpse into the nature of the one flesh covenant as well as our sinful nature.

Paul is very clear in that he says that in the case of an unequally yoked marriage, that if the unbelieving spouse wants to maintain the marriage that the believing spouse needs to stay married. He says in verse 14 that they can have peace in the marriage because their spouse is "sanctified" through them. While there has been much debate over the meaning of that, I take sanctified to mean simply that God honors the marriage covenant that was formed. This is why the Believing spouse is not permitted to initiate a divorce. If they do, we can assume that the same rules apply to them about needing to remain unmarried or reconciled.

But then Paul says something entirely unexpected! Paul is very clear in that he says in verse 15 that in the case of a marriage where one is a Believer and one is not, if the unbeliever wants to leave, not only can they do so, but the Believing spouse is not "under bondage", in other words - they can get remarried! This is the second exception clause.

I can see why Paul (God) would allow it. Basically, sinners are doing what they're supposed to do every single day - sin. We don't judge non-Christians actions because we expect them to sin. I'm never interested in fixing the sinful habits of my Non-Christian friends. What i'm interested in is bringing them to Christ so that the Holy Spirit can then begin the work of sanctification in them. Anything less than that is a temporary behavior change with no eternal value.

So I imaging to non-Christians getting married. One of the spouses becomes a Christians and is in a tough situation. Their spouse is not a Christian, what do they now have in common? Nothing! One is of the Spirit, and one is of the world. A change of this magnitude in a person is going to have dramatic effects upon the marriage. So what do they do? Basically, if the unbelieving spouse still feels that they love their converted spouse and wants to continue the marriage, then the Believing spouse needs to stay. But if the unbelieving spouse says they're done with the marriage and wants to walk away, they can, and the Christian spouse can remarry without sinning.

This is very interesting and calls into question the nature of the one flesh covenant and how it is formed. I think Ecclesiastes was onto something when it described marriage as a cord of three strands. The one flesh covenant is not some empty vow made between two people - it is a covenant that is formed by and maintained by the Holy Spirit. If that's the case, then that Spirit bound, one flesh covenant only exists when the Spirit resides in a person.
 
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I will give you my opinion, but I do so very reluctantly. I'm not a Pastor, and you should really be seeking the advice of godly people in your life. My answer is only from my understanding of Scripture.

First off, you're never commanded to stay in the house of an abusive person. Separating is not divorce, and if you're in any sort of danger, if your children are in any sort of danger - leave. If he's changed, insist on counseling. He sounds as if he has addictive struggles that involve lying and lust. You need an outside party to help bring these to light. You can't do it yourself.

As for divorce and remarriage, all I can say is that it sounds like he has broken the one flesh covenant. Reconciliation is always the best option, but it may not be possible if he's not willing to do the work to be honest about his sin and work towards purity. That's why
You need a counselor to intervene and hold him to the Truth.
 
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