Going to Church

IAMANOBODY2015

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I am sure that a lot of people have asked this question.

Do you believe that you can't be a Christian and not go to church? I have shared my struggles with you as you well know. I struggle with same-sex attraction. I recognize it as sin. I do not engage in homosexual activity, but I struggle with lust.

Going to church is a little scary for me. For some reason out of all the sins homosexuality is the one that everyone hates. People can handle liars, those who covet, the adulterers, promise Breakers, and ECT. But it's the homosexuals that Christians hate the most.

But I'm actually starting to understand why. I know that homosexuality is unnatural. It is an unnatural sin. Most people have a problem with lying, stealing, lusting, breaking promises, and ECT. But most people don't have a problem with homosexuality. If I went to church I can guarantee you I would be the only one with homosexual temptation.

Most people say how does their sexuality affect other people's lives. It doesn't. If I engaged in homosexuality, I would be the one to end up in hell. So it will affect my life not other Christians. But I still get why other Christians are uncomfortable with people like me who struggle with same-sex attraction. I start putting myself in their shoes. If I found out that my best friend slept with a goat or a dog that would make me uncomfortable, even though it doesn't have any effect on my life. How will I ever be able to look at her the same? I couldn't. So now I understand why homosexuals are hated by Christians. And me being able to understand makes me not hate Christians anymore, even though some may hate me.

But I still know that I need to repent of my sin. I do know that I need to repent of my lusts. And so I am repenting. I know I also need to surrender to Jesus every single day. Jesus said that anyone who wants to come after him must deny himself daily and pick up his cross and follow him. I could be wrong but I think that means surrendering to him everyday.

But I don't think I can go to church. For I don't think I will have much in common with other Christians. I will have a sin problem that would make them uncomfortable. I have seen how Christians talk about homosexuality; even though I know that they are speaking the truth, they seem very angry and hateful. It scares me a little bit. But I do know that it is God who knows what is in their heart. My problem is is that I don't know what's in their heart. And I don't want to be around people who may or may not want do me harm. And I am not talking physical harm, but emotional harm.

I don't want to hate other Christians. In fact, understanding them has destroyed the hatred I once had for them.

Please forgive what I'm saying. I know that not every Christian is hateful.

So, wouldn't it be better that I just not go to church if my presence is going to make most Christians uncomfortable, especially the men? I asked a long time ago if going to church with a repentant homosexual will make any of the men uncomfortable, and a lot of them said it would.

And, is not going to church going to send me to hell?
 
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Ken Rank

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And, is not going to church going to send me to hell?

No... but God has commanded certain times to be times of gathering. Now I know today most Christians don't bother with these things, they see them as "Jewish" but the truth is... they were for all and what they did was not only teach us about Him, but draw us together as a community. We are part of an extended community and Paul even uses the analogy of the human body to show how we each might not look or work the same but remain part of the one body. If we stand apart from the rest of the pieces, then the body has parts that are missing and we don't learn how to work together as the unit that God designed us to operate as.

So, what I would do if I were you is this... make an appointment or two a week with pastors in or around your town. Sit down, share your thoughts, keep it short and concise but make the point you have made above (in the whole body of your post) and let them share their thoughts with you. I imagine you'll run into somebody who will understand, have a word to share, and make you feel comfortable. Just a thought. :)
 
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IAMANOBODY2015

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No... but God has commanded certain times to be times of gathering. Now I know today most Christians don't bother with these things, they see them as "Jewish" but the truth is... they were for all and what they did was not only teach us about Him, but draw us together as a community. We are part of an extended community and Paul even uses the analogy of the human body to show how we each might not look or work the same but remain part of the one body. If we stand apart from the rest of the pieces, then the body has parts that are missing and we don't learn how to work together as the unit that God designed us to operate as.

So, what I would do if I were you is this... make an appointment or two a week with pastors in or around your town. Sit down, share your thoughts, keep it short and concise but make the point you have made above (in the whole body of your post) and let them share their thoughts with you. I imagine you'll run into somebody who will understand, have a word to share, and make you feel comfortable. Just a thought. :)

I can try doing that.
 
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Big Drew

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Homosexuality is only demonized so much now because it gets so much media attention. It's the cause of the day. 100 years ago in America it was alcohol that was the big demon...now, while there are many Christians that are teetotalers, you don't hear a lot of, "abstain from strong drink" from the pulpit.

As to your issue, I have friends (gay couple) that I met at the church I attended for about 5 years...they came every Sunday, sat together, we all knew they were gay, but no one ever made a big deal about it. We all welcomed them, and many of us became friends with them. I do know that there was a conversation that they had with the pastor and elders, because one of them wanted to get involved in teaching, and they had to tell him no, because of his lifestyle, but that wasn't the only person that I know of that they had to do this with...there was a lady that wanted to help in the nursery that they turned down because she wasn't married to the man she lived with. Each case was handled with Christian love, and both couples continued attending the church after these events. And, this was a Pentecostal Holiness church...which is known to be a very conservative denomination.

It may take some searching, but if you want to be in fellowship with other believers, I believe you can find a congregation that will welcome you with open arms. And, it doesn't have to be a liberal congregation with questionable teachings.

To your last question, I don't believe not going to church will send you to hell...but I do think it can hinder your spiritual growth. Maybe start by searching some local congregations online...see if any have streaming or podcasts of their services, get an idea of what their teachings are before you actually step foot in the church. And, when you go, you don't have to let everyone know about your sexual orientation...we've all got something we don't want the person sitting next to us to know about. Once you feel like this is the place you want to call home, arrange a meeting with the leaders, if you feel it's necessary, to tell them about yourself...if they are following the example of the Christ, they won't turn you away.
 
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RaymondG

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I have to say, Im a lot worse off than you. Im attracted to woman.... And every church I've gone to had 10x more women than men. And as the years go by, the dresses get shorter and tighter! So I guess I have to stop going to church too since my odds are greater than yours? NO. The issue here I feel is lust. I can see women and not lust after them no matter what they wear. So I dont care what they wear or how many of them they are. If I go somewhere to serve God, I dont go in vain....nothing and no one can hinder me from doing what i came to do. Now if I was going to church to find a wife.....then that would be a different story. So for you, I think your issue is the struggle with lust.......Get that under subjection and you should be good.

Now I think you have another agenda......To prove the fallacy of the judgmental religious fokes. We all know about them and they will always be there. Continue to learn to accept it and see no fault. We are know that those born from above do not bear fruits of judgmental-ness and hate. So those that are, are still finding their way to God just like all of us.

Church is important, and you should go everyday.....Im not talking about the building.....Im talking about the place where God dwells......know ye not that your body in the temple? Spend time examining yourself, see if there be anything not of God and sweep it out. dust off all the pews, empty all the trash cans.....replace all the lightbulbs... and then take a seat! When it is spotless, God will fill the house with you sit. And He will lead you from there.
 
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Albion

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I am sure that a lot of people have asked this question.

Do you believe that you can't be a Christian and not go to church?
It's an interesting question and one that a lot of people have contended with. My answer would be "No." I believe that you can be a Christian without going to church but, at the same time, you're a Christian with one hand tied behind your back if you do that.

You're denying yourself instruction in the faith, the support of other Christians, and the benefits of corporate worship and the sacraments. The New Testament cautions us against doing any or all of that.
 
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Greg J.

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I am sure that a lot of people have asked this question.

Do you believe that you can't be a Christian and not go to church? I have shared my struggles with you as you well know. I struggle with same-sex attraction. I recognize it as sin. I do not engage in homosexual activity, but I struggle with lust.

Going to church is a little scary for me. For some reason out of all the sins homosexuality is the one that everyone hates. People can handle liars, those who covet, the adulterers, promise Breakers, and ECT. But it's the homosexuals that Christians hate the most.

But I'm actually starting to understand why. I know that homosexuality is unnatural. It is an unnatural sin. Most people have a problem with lying, stealing, lusting, breaking promises, and ECT. But most people don't have a problem with homosexuality. If I went to church I can guarantee you I would be the only one with homosexual temptation.

Most people say how does their sexuality affect other people's lives. It doesn't. If I engaged in homosexuality, I would be the one to end up in hell. So it will affect my life not other Christians. But I still get why other Christians are uncomfortable with people like me who struggle with same-sex attraction. I start putting myself in their shoes. If I found out that my best friend slept with a goat or a dog that would make me uncomfortable, even though it doesn't have any effect on my life. How will I ever be able to look at her the same? I couldn't. So now I understand why homosexuals are hated by Christians. And me being able to understand makes me not hate Christians anymore, even though some may hate me.

But I still know that I need to repent of my sin. I do know that I need to repent of my lusts. And so I am repenting. I know I also need to surrender to Jesus every single day. Jesus said that anyone who wants to come after him must deny himself daily and pick up his cross and follow him. I could be wrong but I think that means surrendering to him everyday.

But I don't think I can go to church. For I don't think I will have much in common with other Christians. I will have a sin problem that would make them uncomfortable. I have seen how Christians talk about homosexuality; even though I know that they are speaking the truth, they seem very angry and hateful. It scares me a little bit. But I do know that it is God who knows what is in their heart. My problem is is that I don't know what's in their heart. And I don't want to be around people who may or may not want do me harm. And I am not talking physical harm, but emotional harm.

I don't want to hate other Christians. In fact, understanding them has destroyed the hatred I once had for them.

Please forgive what I'm saying. I know that not every Christian is hateful.

So, wouldn't it be better that I just not go to church if my presence is going to make most Christians uncomfortable, especially the men? I asked a long time ago if going to church with a repentant homosexual will make any of the men uncomfortable, and a lot of them said it would.

And, is not going to church going to send me to hell?
Salvation is from believing in God, that Jesus was/is real, that Jesus died for your sins, and you yielding control of every area of your life to him from your heart. It sounds to me like you are doing all those things.

At least 50% of Christian men and quite a chunk of of women use inappropriate content regularly. I think it is safe to say that the problem of acceptance at church is not due to rejecting those who lust. Having homosexual desires means you have a sinful nature, like everyone else also does. You are 100% pure if you (1) you are saved, (2) have agreed with God that homosexual actions are sins (just as heterosexual adultery, premarital sex, objectifying people, and many more are), and (3) confessed past sins with the desire to not repeat them. Note that all this has nothing to do with homosexuality. It has to do with accepting Jesus as your Lord. Homosexual sexual acts are more condemned these days because they are being more promoted these days. But every single person that does that condemning is also condemning themselves.

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. (Romans 2:1, 1984 NIV)

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. (James 2:10, 1984 NIV)

... two verses that are a fancy way of saying, we are all alike under sin (Romans 3:9-10, 23).

“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. “For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. (Matthew 7:1-2, 1984 NASB)

Don't be self-condemning. Jesus has forgiven you. God loves you, does not condemn you, and there is peace between you.

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, (Romans 5:1, 1984 NASB)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, 1984 NIV)

She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ... ... but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:39,42, 1984 NIV)
 
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Goodbook

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Dont seperate yourself from God's love, and that includes fellowship with others. Romans 8:38 If you have a sin thats separating you from others, deal with that sin, by repenting and asking Jesus to deliver you.

When Jesus delivers you, its FROM evil toward God. So He will place you somewhere you can grow in Him. Ask a minister before you go and join any church to pray for you and counsel you if you have any concerns. If they are christians they wont turn you away. When we confess our sins to one another God is just and faithful to forgive us and cleanse is from all unrighteousness.

I know that Jesus can deliver people completely look Saul was a murderer or accesory to murder and persecuted christians but when he met Jesus that all changed, and he became the greatest missionary. He didnt stay a murderer! But he said he WAS the chief sinner.

If youve repented have you been baptised?
 
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Kit Sigmon

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I am sure that a lot of people have asked this question.

Do you believe that you can't be a Christian and not go to church?
Hebrews 10:25
Acts 2:42
1 Corinthians 12-26
What you find in the scriptures is that your spiritual growth will be hindered if you're out of fellowship/koinonia
with the body of believers(church)...and it increases your chances of becoming estranged from
God and His Word.


You should put forth your best effort an find a church body to be in koinonia /fellowship with... I'm talking about
real fellowship not this social gathering of people to have a meal with and play games but biblical koinonia.
 
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IAMANOBODY2015

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Dont seperate yourself from God's love, and that includes fellowship with others. Romans 8:38 If you have a sin thats separating you from others, deal with that sin, by repenting and asking Jesus to deliver you.

When Jesus delivers you, its FROM evil toward God. So He will place you somewhere you can grow in Him. Ask a minister before you go and join any church to pray for you and counsel you if you have any concerns. If they are christians they wont turn you away. When we confess our sins to one another God is just and faithful to forgive us and cleanse is from all unrighteousness.

I know that Jesus can deliver people completely look Saul was a murderer or accesory to murder and persecuted christians but when he met Jesus that all changed, and he became the greatest missionary. He didnt stay a murderer! But he said he WAS the chief sinner.

If youve repented have you been baptised?

I was baptized a long time ago.
 
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IAMANOBODY2015

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I have to say, Im a lot worse off than you. Im attracted to woman.... And every church I've gone to had 10x more women than men. And as the years go by, the dresses get shorter and tighter! So I guess I have to stop going to church too since my odds are greater than yours? NO. The issue here I feel is lust. I can see women and not lust after them no matter what they wear. So I dont care what they wear or how many of them they are. If I go somewhere to serve God, I dont go in vain....nothing and no one can hinder me from doing what i came to do. Now if I was going to church to find a wife.....then that would be a different story. So for you, I think your issue is the struggle with lust.......Get that under subjection and you should be good.

Now I think you have another agenda......To prove the fallacy of the judgmental religious fokes. We all know about them and they will always be there. Continue to learn to accept it and see no fault. We are know that those born from above do not bear fruits of judgmental-ness and hate. So those that are, are still finding their way to God just like all of us.

Church is important, and you should go everyday.....Im not talking about the building.....Im talking about the place where God dwells......know ye not that your body in the temple? Spend time examining yourself, see if there be anything not of God and sweep it out. dust off all the pews, empty all the trash cans.....replace all the lightbulbs... and then take a seat! When it is spotless, God will fill the house with you sit. And He will lead you from there.

Interesting

I guess I never think about how men, heterosexual men, have it.
 
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Solomons Porch

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Wow I think u have been given some really great advice by everyone here so far and I agree with them. My answer too is NO. Lets just think of it this way.......
We all sin and fall short, who measures our sin?
Who says one is worse than the other?
What does the balance scales look like, that measure sin? If there is such?

I am not at all knocking on any christian or anyone, let me make that clear upfront.
But if satan was the door greeter at church on sunday morning
and he was giving out name tags, except the name tags did not have ur name on them
he wrote your sins on them, then u had to walk in the door for all to see what "we" do in the dark

I dare say, I doubt the church would be crowded.
I really cant say, and it is just my opinion only, that Jesus loves us all the same
and He wants us ALL to come to HIM for forgiveness and repent.
Some struggles are harder than others, but we dare not judge others, or else thats the measure we will be judged by

Hope that made some sense and I pray you find what you are looking for and may you grow in Christ, ever seeking to serve Him and do His will. Taking up your cross daily !!
 
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IAMANOBODY2015

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Wow I think u have been given some really great advice by everyone here so far and I agree with them. My answer too is NO. Lets just think of it this way.......
We all sin and fall short, who measures our sin?
Who says one is worse than the other?
What does the balance scales look like, that measure sin? If there is such?

I am not at all knocking on any christian or anyone, let me make that clear upfront.
But if satan was the door greeter at church on sunday morning
and he was giving out name tags, except the name tags did not have ur name on them
he wrote your sins on them, then u had to walk in the door for all to see what "we" do in the dark

I dare say, I doubt the church would be crowded.
I really cant say, and it is just my opinion only, that Jesus loves us all the same
and He wants us ALL to come to HIM for forgiveness and repent.
Some struggles are harder than others, but we dare not judge others, or else thats the measure we will be judged by

Hope that made some sense and I pray you find what you are looking for and may you grow in Christ, ever seeking to serve Him and do His will. Taking up your cross daily !!

This does help.
 
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Goodbook

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If we've sinned we can be forgiven but you need confess and to ask His forgiveness it isnt automatically given! And then we need to accept that we have been forgiven!

This happens with any type of sin! Thats why we go to church because weve been forgiven. If you dont go, are you saying God isnt big enough to forgive you? You never going to sing His praises? Hes already forgiven us at the cross. You were baptised, so that means you repented, so I dont see the problem of going to church since everyone else has has the same sin problems and put them to the cross, each time they go to church.

If youve confessed to God, thats fine he hasnt held it against you has he? One thing God asks us to do if weve sinned against someone else is to ask that person to forgive us. For example if we stole something, we give back what we stole to that person and say hey im sorry i stole im giving back what I stole or reimbursing you and Im a christian now so Im not going to do it again. Please forgive me.

Well i dont know you might have to have some talks to the people you maybe used to lust after and say hey Im really sorry I made you uncomofrtable I had a horrible crush on you but I dont anymore Im a christian now. We all have done stupid things in the past so nows the time to come clean. Maybe some sins are harder than others to deal with but youve got to face up to them and the people you hurt.

I often think of people that commited adultery they can actually say hey I tried to steal your wife im sorry I actually was stupid and wrong please forgive me i wont do it again. God is going to provide me with everything I need so Im not going to do that anymore. The important thing is you change your mind about your sin, hate it and turn from it.

Its not too late. David had even killed Bathshebas husband trying to cover up his adultery but Nathan knew and got him to confess and come clean to God. Yes there was a consequence..,the baby died but God actually did forgive David and restored him.
 
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My lust involved people on YouTube videos or TV stars or inappropriate contentography.

I have lusted after people and I've told them or they found out and they were flattered. They weren't Christians so that would be a little awkward; and they are still not Christians.

But the majority of my lusts involved inappropriate contentography. And the people I used to lust after I don't even have a relationship with and I don't even know where they live. And they were very few I think it was just one person.
 
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Goodbook

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Well get rid of the inappropriate content, tv, and that junk out of your life.
Start reading the bible and get into worshipping the Lord. Open your eyes to His creation which is CLOTHED in His glory.

JEsus gives us his covering which is garments of praise and robes of righteousness. He doesnt leave us naked. 2 corinthians 5:3-4

put on his righteousness and armour.
There is a doco called Nefarious which is about the sex slave industry and how inappropriate content, prostitution etc robs the lives of those involved in it. It doesnt matter what gender it is, its wrong to expose someone like that.

God is going to show you how to posess your vessel with honor. He doesnt want you to make them members of a harlot, you belong to Him now.
 
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IAMANOBODY2015

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Well get rid of the inappropriate content, tv, and that junk out of your life.
Start reading the bible and get into worshipping the Lord. Open your eyes to His creation which is CLOTHED in His glory.

JEsus gives us his covering which is garments of praise and robes of righteousness. He doesnt leave us naked. 2 corinthians 5:3-4

put on his righteousness and armour.
There is a doco called Nefarious which is about the sex slave industry and how inappropriate content, prostitution etc robs the lives of those involved in it. It doesnt matter what gender it is, its wrong to expose someone like that.

God is going to show you how to posess your vessel with honor. He doesnt want you to make them members of a harlot, you belong to Him now.

That is probably good advice. Thank you
 
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