- Sep 4, 2015
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I am sure that a lot of people have asked this question.
Do you believe that you can't be a Christian and not go to church? I have shared my struggles with you as you well know. I struggle with same-sex attraction. I recognize it as sin. I do not engage in homosexual activity, but I struggle with lust.
Going to church is a little scary for me. For some reason out of all the sins homosexuality is the one that everyone hates. People can handle liars, those who covet, the adulterers, promise Breakers, and ECT. But it's the homosexuals that Christians hate the most.
But I'm actually starting to understand why. I know that homosexuality is unnatural. It is an unnatural sin. Most people have a problem with lying, stealing, lusting, breaking promises, and ECT. But most people don't have a problem with homosexuality. If I went to church I can guarantee you I would be the only one with homosexual temptation.
Most people say how does their sexuality affect other people's lives. It doesn't. If I engaged in homosexuality, I would be the one to end up in hell. So it will affect my life not other Christians. But I still get why other Christians are uncomfortable with people like me who struggle with same-sex attraction. I start putting myself in their shoes. If I found out that my best friend slept with a goat or a dog that would make me uncomfortable, even though it doesn't have any effect on my life. How will I ever be able to look at her the same? I couldn't. So now I understand why homosexuals are hated by Christians. And me being able to understand makes me not hate Christians anymore, even though some may hate me.
But I still know that I need to repent of my sin. I do know that I need to repent of my lusts. And so I am repenting. I know I also need to surrender to Jesus every single day. Jesus said that anyone who wants to come after him must deny himself daily and pick up his cross and follow him. I could be wrong but I think that means surrendering to him everyday.
But I don't think I can go to church. For I don't think I will have much in common with other Christians. I will have a sin problem that would make them uncomfortable. I have seen how Christians talk about homosexuality; even though I know that they are speaking the truth, they seem very angry and hateful. It scares me a little bit. But I do know that it is God who knows what is in their heart. My problem is is that I don't know what's in their heart. And I don't want to be around people who may or may not want do me harm. And I am not talking physical harm, but emotional harm.
I don't want to hate other Christians. In fact, understanding them has destroyed the hatred I once had for them.
Please forgive what I'm saying. I know that not every Christian is hateful.
So, wouldn't it be better that I just not go to church if my presence is going to make most Christians uncomfortable, especially the men? I asked a long time ago if going to church with a repentant homosexual will make any of the men uncomfortable, and a lot of them said it would.
And, is not going to church going to send me to hell?
Do you believe that you can't be a Christian and not go to church? I have shared my struggles with you as you well know. I struggle with same-sex attraction. I recognize it as sin. I do not engage in homosexual activity, but I struggle with lust.
Going to church is a little scary for me. For some reason out of all the sins homosexuality is the one that everyone hates. People can handle liars, those who covet, the adulterers, promise Breakers, and ECT. But it's the homosexuals that Christians hate the most.
But I'm actually starting to understand why. I know that homosexuality is unnatural. It is an unnatural sin. Most people have a problem with lying, stealing, lusting, breaking promises, and ECT. But most people don't have a problem with homosexuality. If I went to church I can guarantee you I would be the only one with homosexual temptation.
Most people say how does their sexuality affect other people's lives. It doesn't. If I engaged in homosexuality, I would be the one to end up in hell. So it will affect my life not other Christians. But I still get why other Christians are uncomfortable with people like me who struggle with same-sex attraction. I start putting myself in their shoes. If I found out that my best friend slept with a goat or a dog that would make me uncomfortable, even though it doesn't have any effect on my life. How will I ever be able to look at her the same? I couldn't. So now I understand why homosexuals are hated by Christians. And me being able to understand makes me not hate Christians anymore, even though some may hate me.
But I still know that I need to repent of my sin. I do know that I need to repent of my lusts. And so I am repenting. I know I also need to surrender to Jesus every single day. Jesus said that anyone who wants to come after him must deny himself daily and pick up his cross and follow him. I could be wrong but I think that means surrendering to him everyday.
But I don't think I can go to church. For I don't think I will have much in common with other Christians. I will have a sin problem that would make them uncomfortable. I have seen how Christians talk about homosexuality; even though I know that they are speaking the truth, they seem very angry and hateful. It scares me a little bit. But I do know that it is God who knows what is in their heart. My problem is is that I don't know what's in their heart. And I don't want to be around people who may or may not want do me harm. And I am not talking physical harm, but emotional harm.
I don't want to hate other Christians. In fact, understanding them has destroyed the hatred I once had for them.
Please forgive what I'm saying. I know that not every Christian is hateful.
So, wouldn't it be better that I just not go to church if my presence is going to make most Christians uncomfortable, especially the men? I asked a long time ago if going to church with a repentant homosexual will make any of the men uncomfortable, and a lot of them said it would.
And, is not going to church going to send me to hell?
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