The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
It does trouble that there is a cultural mindset by which some religious groups will nitpick people's subjective preferences to a minute detail...and then you discover that they don't even believe in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, clearly revealed in Scripture. The design I got on my arm years ago faded; wasn't a success. I myself haven't worn earrings for years, though it doesn't trouble me if both genders wear them; maybe you feel the same way?Yeah, I'm not against earrings...I see it like adding a hair accessory to the hair or placing a button on a shirt. It's a decoration. Why, how many piercings/tattoos do you have?
I think also that many things that are worn are not really on the modesty-supposed immodesty paradigm, but rather they can be symbolic and therefore pragmatically useful as tools in witness. For example, while I think it was you who said you talked to someone who showed you her five sided star tattoo, I think some Christians like to use faith based ink designs as a tool in witness (e.g., Christian fish sign <>< on a wrist, etc.), which is a proven effective tool in conversation. Others prefer their initial witness to be silent. Re. whatever articles of clothing, tattoos, etc., it's often not a question of whether they fit someone's supposed canons of modesty at all, one way or the other.That's good! He can help you out.
If you are really thin, with a boyish shape, then you can get away with wearing things that women with curvy shapes cannot. Take shorts, for example. The same pair of shorts would look very different on a super thin woman like Kate Moss than on a woman like Scarlet Johannsen. Kate Moss would look like a child, while Scarlet Johannsen might be too sexy.
So, some of dressing depends on your individual body. When you look at yourself in the jeans, do you think you look too sexy? I mean, if you saw them on another woman, would you think "That's not very modest."
Look at yourself as if you were looking at a different woman. If you can look at yourself and think "I don't look like a lady." You might need to change.
I don't think it is an OCD thing, it sounds like you are convicted. I don't think you have to be out of style to be modest, though.
The most modest role model nowadays is Duchess Kate- what a lady! She's also stylish and not a frump, by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe you can try the Duchess Kate test. After you put something on, ask yourself "Would Kate wear this?" If the answer is "no" it may be immodest.
Well, I don't know about your particular tastes, but most men prefer curvier women to stick thin women. They've done lots of studies, and a curvier woman is considered more attractive by most of the men in every survey and study. A stick thin woman looks like a boy or a kid, so a woman with thin legs is not going to be as sexually appealing as a woman with shapely legs. There's a reason why dancers' legs are considered attractive, it is not because they are stick thin.If the shorts cover the thighs on both women, how would it be immodest on the curvy one?
Also, what is the nuance of the term lady? Polite?
You got the wrong lady, I don't recall a conversation about someone with a five sided star tattoo.I think also that many things that are worn are not really on the modesty-supposed immodesty paradigm, but rather they can be symbolic and therefore pragmatically useful as tools in witness. For example, while I think it was you who said you talked to someone who showed you her five sided star tattoo, I think some Christians like to use faith based ink designs as a tool in witness (e.g., Christian fish sign <>< on a wrist, etc.), which is a proven effective tool in conversation. Others prefer their initial witness to be silent. Re. whatever articles of clothing, tattoos, etc., it's often not a question of whether they fit someone's supposed canons of modesty at all, one way or the other.
You might have called it a pentagram; but anyway.You got the wrong lady, I don't recall a conversation about someone with a five sided star tattoo.
Nice quote.A lady is a woman who makes a man want to be a gentleman.
No, I don't know anyone with a pentagram tattoo. That must be someone else.
Although I thought this was you, it doesn't really matter, I guess. The point I was making I suppose was that it's not all about whether something is subjectively modest or not (although there are extreme cases when it does matter). It's also whether there is any symbolic value, and whether it can be used to promote what the symbol refers to, whether positively or negatively; and here ppl's views will vary depending on what it is. But never mind about the origin of the quote, above. Blessings.She showed me her pentagram tattoo on her arm and everything) I didn't start evangelizing to her or talk about theology. I told her I was a Christian, but left it at that. The thing is, she brought up religion- not me. I didn't pretend, she didn't pretend and we got along fine (this is in the Bible belt of the U.S.).
Wow I totally agree. To the OP I would like to say you got across well just how tough OCD can be and I hope you're doing OK.Can't every body control themselves!
Why oh why do we have to worry about men not being grown up or human enough to control themselves
I like clothes
I like to wear whatever I want to wear
Here's the thing
If one is an attractive woman what do you do?
You'll get looks
It just happens
Does that mean we have to wear a potato sack!
You might have called it a pentagram; but anyway.
Well, I don't know about your particular tastes, but most men prefer curvier women to stick thin women. They've done lots of studies, and a curvier woman is considered more attractive by most of the men in every survey and study. A stick thin woman looks like a boy or a kid, so a woman with thin legs is not going to be as sexually appealing as a woman with shapely legs. There's a reason why dancers' legs are considered attractive, it is not because they are stick thin.
And, thin women can wear tank tops, but curvier women probably shouldn't. A top on Kelly Ripa might be okay- but the same top on Sophia Vergara would be indecent. So thin women can generally get away with wearing things thata curvy woman can not.
I heard this definition of a lady. I like it very much: A lady is a woman who makes a man want to be a gentleman.
Wow, I am so sorry that happened to you! My sister and I were taken advantage of by our brother when we were very young and I know the problem lied with him and not with our little girl clothing. I have a friend who was also taken advantage of by her brothers and she was made to dress in very over-the-op modest clothes; again, it had nothing to do with what she was wearing. This proves the point that if males want to lust they will do it; if they have lust in their heart, then it doesn't matter if the female is wearing a potato sack. Interesting facts in both my friend's and my families are that: 1) We were made to wear clothes that covered very well and still had that happen to us.I think the one with a pretty face will always be looked at even if she is trying to be modest
Should we put a bag over our faces too?
That's what I meant in my first post here
I think that those who are very attractive might have to consider what they wear but still will get looks regardless
I was 14 years old when I was molested. I was fishing with my sister and I know it had nothing to do with what I was wearing