Friends of Opposite Sex staying the night

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. You aren't sleeping in the same bed, you aren't sexually together (or even close to that, from what you have said). I can't see why simply staying the same house sometimes would be an issue.

No, it's not a problem. Though I imagine there are more than a few people who are fond of quoting verses only from the KJV who will insist it is in fact a problem.

If that kind of person is who you're worried about appeasing, rest assured, they will have an endless list of things to criticize you over.

Why are you asking? Why would you wonder if it's bad?

Fenny the Fox said:

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. You aren't sleeping in the same bed, you aren't sexually together (or even close to that, from what you have said). I can't see why simply staying the same house sometimes would be an issue.

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Why do you think overnight staying up is viewed different from this? My guess is this is a unique type of intimacy like sex reserved for marriage-am I right?

I don't see any problem with you staying over night.

Angelgirl4890 said:

I have a friend of the opposite sex that I go stay the night with on occasion, because it's easier when it comes to commuting back and forth to college since we carpool. There is absolutely no desire or temptation to do anything ungodly for either one of us. We dated in the past, but it didn't work out at all. We both know that we will never get back together and don't want to be together. My question is...Is it wrong that we have stayed the night together before? Nothing ever goes on or comes even remotely close to it. I also sleep on the couch. I need some opinions on this.

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First off - welcome to the Forums AngelGirl! I gave you a "like" so you can get to the needed 5 sooner to access other functions of the board.

That said, your answer will vary widely depending on the understanding of each person.

To some it would be just fine.
To others, it is no different than having sex and should be absolutely avoided.

I am somewhere in the middle on that one. I do not think it is a good an idea, but not sinful in and of itself.

Angelgirl4890 said:

I have a friend of the opposite sex that I go stay the night with on occasion, because it's easier when it comes to commuting back and forth to college since we carpool. There is absolutely no desire or temptation to do anything ungodly for either one of us. We dated in the past, but it didn't work out at all. We both know that we will never get back together and don't want to be together. My question is...Is it wrong that we have stayed the night together before? Nothing ever goes on or comes even remotely close to it. I also sleep on the couch. I need some opinions on this.

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Not a good idea. When someone does this, they place themselves in temptations path, no matter how much they think it is not a problem. Secondly, it causes a stumbling block for people who observe this, because the world will assume you are having sexual relationship, even if you are not.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from every form of evil.

I would say that includes the even the appearance of being involved in something evil. God never commands us to see how close we can get to sin without actually sinning. He says to flee from sin and evil.


1 Timothy 6:11 But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.

JoeP222w said:

I would say that includes the even the appearance of being involved in something evil.

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WWJD???

Our Lord did a LOT of stuff that looked like sin to those around Him.

JoeP222w said:

Not a good idea. When someone does this, they place themselves in temptations path, no matter how much they think it is not a problem. Secondly, it causes a stumbling block for people who observe this, because the world will assume you are having sexual relationship, even if you are not.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from every form of evil.

I would say that includes the even the appearance of being involved in something evil. God never commands us to see how close we can get to sin without actually sinning. He says to flee from sin and evil.


1 Timothy 6:11 But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.

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Is this why there is an appearence of evil?

Most people make love when they go to bed, which is usually at night.1 "Sleepingwith" someone has thus become a synonym for having sex. Why human sex and sleep are so intertwined, though, remains mysterious:

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Why We Make Love at Night

Superhero Sam said:

Is this why there is an appearence of evil?

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Yes

Dave-W said:

Yes

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Does appearance of evil mean semblance or the impression you give to others?

Superhero Sam said:

Does appearance of evil mean semblance or the impression you give to others?

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That was how Joe was using it.

But that is actually NOT what the passage actually means.

Dave-W said:

That was how Joe was using it.

But that is actually NOT what the passage actually means.

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So you don't think what the article said is relevant to this topic?

Superhero Sam said:

So you don't think what the article said is relevant to this topic?

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It was an interesting read, but really does not address the "appearance of evil" issue.

The verse means where ever [true] evil appears, NOT what appears to be evil [but is not].

So if someone of the opposite sex is staying the night (and they are NOT being tempted to fornicate) I do not see a real problem.

Dave-W said:

It was an interesting read, but really does not address the "appearance of evil" issue.

The verse means where ever [true] evil appears, NOT what appears to be evil [but is not].

So if someone of the opposite sex is staying the night (and they are NOT being tempted to fornicate) I do not see a real problem.

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Should dating or engaged couples travel together...

So often I've seen this phrase from 1 Thes.5 used to make fellow Christians feel guilty. There is not scripture to say they are doing anything wrong, like spending the night at the house of some one the opposite sex, so to make them feel guilty about doing it a believer says you should be avoiding all appearance of evil.

The full verse reads:
19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.

This verse says to me ( reversing the negation) If we quench the Spirit, we will despise prophesies and not test them accurately to hold onto what is good. In the context of prophesies words from God will be given, and not all of them will be from God. So some will despise them and stop all prophesies from being given, thus quenching the Spirit. So the appearance of evil in this context is not allowing people to prophesy and thereby quench the Spirit.

That is a long ways from where we sleep.

dayhiker said:

So often I've seen this phrase from 1 Thes.5 used to make fellow Christians feel guilty. There is not scripture to say they are doing anything wrong, like spending the night at the house of some one the opposite sex, so to make them feel guilty about doing it a believer says you should be avoiding all appearance of evil.

The full verse reads:
19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.

This verse says to me ( reversing the negation) If we quench the Spirit, we will despise prophesies and not test them accurately to hold onto what is good. In the context of prophesies words from God will be given, and not all of them will be from God. So some will despise them and stop all prophesies from being given, thus quenching the Spirit. So the appearance of evil in this context is not allowing people to prophesy and thereby quench the Spirit.

That is a long ways from where we sleep.

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Not everything is explicitly said bibically. We know for example, if i look at somebody's personal work stuff, I could be causing them to be guilty of breaking the rules.

Sorry .. Sam, I don't think I'm familiar with your looking at someone's personal work stuff.

dayhiker said:

Sorry .. Sam, I don't think I'm familiar with your looking at someone's personal work stuff.

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It was an example of wrong behavior that the Bible doesnt explicitly state.