I hope this don't sound too crazy but I think you have an evil spirit and a pretty strong one if my initial reaction to your post is any indication. I am going to pray for you and I do hope you get some relief. The thing I advise you to do is every single time one of those evil thoughts enter your head is to say in the name of Jesus Christ be gone. Don't forget the word Christ because its important to identify Him as who He is. Otherwise they might not listen to you. I hope this helps and I am going to my room to pray for you right now.
Hugs
It's like I'm losing my mind. I've always had some destructive and self destructive instincts but I'm afraid I've gone too far.
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