I hate someone everyone else loves

bluegreysky said:

I dealt with something similar for years. Although she wasn't involved with a boy I liked. She appeared at my school and my
Church one year after me and immediately went trolling for mr right. Found him, rich as can be, and proceeded to parade around all her pride about not Just him but her purity and how wonderful she was because she loves Jesus and she's so pure and perfect and she got a man and she's gonna marry him too young because she wants to stay pure....
It was so annoying. She paraded around about their wonderful marriage. Then their wonderful first pregnancy. Then their wonderful baby and being a mom is so great [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] and then their second baby and all the money she inherited from daddy and blah blah blah ....
I had to deal with her overshadowing everything and making me feel small because i wasn't anything she was and had a messed up relationship and so on.
I kept praying for god to remove my enemy.
Finally, they realized they couldn't afford to live here anymore because they're idiots and they spent all of daddy's money on stupid stuff and babies they couldn't afford to have and they were forced to move back home to Pennsylvania.
Amen. God is good.

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turkle said:

I wonder why you allow this person to irritate you so much. I understand that this is fairly normal high school stuff, but I really wouldn't allow her to take up so much emotional real estate in you. Jealous behavior is really unattractive, and it doesn't help you or anyone else.

One very important thing I learned as I grew older and wiser is that other people will be other people, and it's not my business to want to change them or allow them to get on my nerves. There is just no gain in that. This girl is who she is for her own reasons, and the healthiest thing for you to do is to accept this and move on.

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Avniel said:

It sounds like she was a pretty cool and confident person you were just hating on her.

They made some bad business choices....you're celebrating it. You allowed the devil to play with your mind and influence you into hating someone because she had more than you.....that's your pride.

That's the part I hate about living in a society with classism. The upper class look down and the lower class are jealous.

You will never hear me talk negative about my wife or my children. If we are talking about wives.....I don't care if she stole a million dollars my friends will never know. I think you people expect people to present their negativity and their positivity with people that have no blood connection. If you talk to my friends they probably would mention me like you are speaking of this lady. But a majority of them have baby mothers, single parent households and are in rocky relationships. I'm not going to feed my relationship into their negativity......and if I'm open and honest about the issues in my marriage what do I get out of it? If went to my brother he knows it's not perfect...I respect my brother's wisdom....

That's why when I go to any type of church event I move to the back and keep my personal business private. Y'all want to see the negative and you want any piece of anything to judge people.

My marriage is great, my father is physician, my brother is in med school, I have my daughter and my wife is pregnant, we own two businesses and I'm opening up a music center.....

Your post really bothers me as a black man from a upper class family.....I've been hurt by your mentality.


The other lady listed characteristics you listed items. That's being insecure and that's being jealous.

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True Blu said:

I'm at the point I can't stand being around her.

I thought she was okay when I first met her. But since she was my ex-boyfriends best friend at the time, I was stuck in the situation of always having to be around her.

She was always demanding the attention of the group. And everyone would give it to her. Like, overly flattering her.

She had a seemingly great life. Lots of friends, a close loving family, enough money to never worry about college or life, and yet she's always complaining. I hate the constant fishing for compliments. She'll leave the room dramatically saying something short and making it a point to sound irritated, while everyone just shrugs with the old "that's just her." I didn't care at first either.

But back when this guy WAS my boyfriend, he was always being super affectionate with her. He would run away from me mid-conversation to run up to her and throw his arms around her back and say hi. My other friends noticed he treated her better, too. And for the life of me I couldn't understand why.

She's always irritated at something. She always compliments what a wonderful person she is and how everyone must know. She's self-involved. And yet everyone loves her.

I try to say hi to her when we pass by out and about in-between classes, and she either ignores me completely or says hi without so much as looking at me.

I'm still friends with my ex, but now I refuse to be apart of that group. My ex always hangs out with her now. They go to baseball games together, road trips together, everything we never did. I can't say it doesn't hurt, but still. Her Snap Chat story is always centered around her bragging about something.

I know jealously was a huge part of me disliking her, but I see a lot of qualities I wouldn't care for anyways. She's so fake and a crowd-follower. She likes to brag how innocent she is to everyone (she's a ministries major) and yet she listens to vulgar rap, cusses frequently, flips everyone off (for some reason everyone thinks its "cute"), and is in general kind of rude. I don't appreciate it.

When I asked my boyfriend at the time, he told me to basically get over it because he likes her and if I don't like her then I can leave. There you go.

Thoughts on dealing with someone you hate that everyone else likes? I know the bible says we should get along to the best of our ability, and my best has run out for her.

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SkyWriting said:

No,it says to Love your enemies.
It must be good character development.

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Far Side Of the Moon said:

That's all and well but you also need to have common sense to know when to distance yourself. I tried that loving your enemies thing and it didn't turn out well.I think loving your enemies means if they need help, help them.
It doesn't put yourself through torture and stay in the face of someone who can't stand you and is plotting your down fall no, not at all.

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Far Side Of the Moon said:

Be smart OP, whatever you do use common sense

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Far Side Of the Moon said:

Some of you really need to read and reread before answering people and responding.

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Far Side Of the Moon said:

That's all and well but you also need to have common sense to know when to distance yourself. I tried that loving your enemies thing and it didn't turn out well.

I think loving your enemies means if they need help, help them.

It doesn't put yourself through torture and stay in the face of someone who can't stand you and is plotting your down fall no, not at all.

Be smart OP, whatever you do use common sense

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ToBeLoved said:

Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

These are the kinds of feeling you need to have for all people. Jesus demonstrated this during His life. Christ came as a servant of man kind not a King, although He was a King. We are to be like our Savior

Does that make sense? Do you see "forebearance" above, that is forgiveness. YOu must always forgive.

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Crowned Princess said:

forebearance is more like endurance/patience. Although forgiveness is still as important.

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True Blu said:

Beautifully said!!!

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SkyWriting said:

I'm pretty sure it says exactly that.

Matthew 5:38-39
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

What Does the Bible Say About How To Treat Your Enemies?


If Jesus and and other friends of yours are persecuted,
it is common sense that you deny knowing Jesus.

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True Blu said:

I'm at the point I can't stand being around her.

I thought she was okay when I first met her. But since she was my ex-boyfriends best friend at the time, I was stuck in the situation of always having to be around her.

She was always demanding the attention of the group. And everyone would give it to her. Like, overly flattering her.

She had a seemingly great life. Lots of friends, a close loving family, enough money to never worry about college or life, and yet she's always complaining. I hate the constant fishing for compliments. She'll leave the room dramatically saying something short and making it a point to sound irritated, while everyone just shrugs with the old "that's just her." I didn't care at first either.

But back when this guy WAS my boyfriend, he was always being super affectionate with her. He would run away from me mid-conversation to run up to her and throw his arms around her back and say hi. My other friends noticed he treated her better, too. And for the life of me I couldn't understand why.

She's always irritated at something. She always compliments what a wonderful person she is and how everyone must know. She's self-involved. And yet everyone loves her.

I try to say hi to her when we pass by out and about in-between classes, and she either ignores me completely or says hi without so much as looking at me.

I'm still friends with my ex, but now I refuse to be apart of that group. My ex always hangs out with her now. They go to baseball games together, road trips together, everything we never did. I can't say it doesn't hurt, but still. Her Snap Chat story is always centered around her bragging about something.

I know jealously was a huge part of me disliking her, but I see a lot of qualities I wouldn't care for anyways. She's so fake and a crowd-follower. She likes to brag how innocent she is to everyone (she's a ministries major) and yet she listens to vulgar rap, cusses frequently, flips everyone off (for some reason everyone thinks its "cute"), and is in general kind of rude. I don't appreciate it.

When I asked my boyfriend at the time, he told me to basically get over it because he likes her and if I don't like her then I can leave. There you go.

Thoughts on dealing with someone you hate that everyone else likes? I know the bible says we should get along to the best of our ability, and my best has run out for her.

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Dr Bruce Atkinson said:

Hate is a strong word. It is OK to hate being around someone but it is not OK to hate the person (we are even supposed to love our enemies, Jesus said). Your feelings are mostly based on jealousy. She gets undeserved attention that you want. If she is really as messed up psychologically as you indicate, you should feel sorry for her, for she will eventually pay a high price. But perhaps the one who is more messed up is you. Seek a professional counselor.

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danstribe said:

Christ told us to pray FOR those who mistreat us or persecute us or hate us. Being human it's a difficult thing to forgive others sometimes, especially when they have hurt us to our soul! Christ said in the Lord's prayer "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us" So our forgiveness is in direct relation to how we forgive others. I have found that asking God to forgive everyone who has sinned or done anything wrong to me is the foundation. I ask Him not to hold anything against them for my sake in the judgement. I ask Him to remove the wrong and hurtful feelings that I may still harbor toward anyone and I ask that He help them.

God puts people in our life to correct us to change us to become more like Christ when dealing with them. The feelings of anger and hurt MUST be overcome and replaced with the feelings that Christ has for us it's a process that takes time, bible study and prayer. If anyone is not willing to sacrifice some time devoted to God in prayer and study then they will continue to have the same problems throughout their life. We are called as Christians to a life of overcoming evil with good. God is building Godly character in us. So step back and look at the situation with that in mind and always thank God because He undoubtedly saved you from a possible life long bad relationship with the wrong man! Remember the loving and forgiving words of Christ as He hung bleeding and in pain far greater than anything we have had to endure "Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing"

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